the worst day so far

[hev]

i turned stevens music down and he got me by the throat and started punching me,hes kicked the walls upstairs in,i called the police and they have taken him to the cells,i had to have an ambulance as i had severe panic attack,nick was at work,i called him home and hes gone to the police station with steven,while the police were here i got call from my sister,my dad has been rushed to hosp with severe stomach pains,waiting to see whats happening now,i phoned up social services and they going to phone me back,its a nightmare,i cant have steven beating me up and bullying me but thought of him down the police station is terrible

[rach04]

<'> >< <'> hev im really sorry dont know what else to say <'> ><

[baddad]

hi hev - so sorry. <'> <'>

 

L&P

 

BD

[smiley]

 

Oh Sweetheart

 

I hope your dad's ok, and that you're ok.

 

Hope Steve has calmed down - have SS been any help??

 

Thinking of you <'>

[bid]

Oh Hev <'> <'>

 

Bidx

[bevalee]

Thinking of you. <'> ><

[Kathryn]

Hev

 

How are you now? <'>

 

K x

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

oh babe soo sorry

hope u all oks

thinkin of u

<'>

[summertime]

Oh Hev, nothing I can say can make things better but these are for you <'> >< <'> >< <'>

[brooke]

im so sorry hev <'> <'>

[Bagpuss]

Hev <'> <'> <'>

[Kazzer]

Hev <'> <'> <'>

 

Hev ,What a day , hope things have got easier as the day has gone on.

 

k

[av16]

Hope you're all ok.

AV

[JsMum]

<'> oh hev, I am in shock, you did the right thing calling the police, its terrible for Steve to do that to you, you have done so much for him with getting the school sorted out and everything, you didnt deserve that kind of treatment, I understand he has difficulties but grabbing you by the throat and punching you is really horrible, I really hope that some kind of support at home can come in an emergancy to make sure your safe, and that some help to help him control his temper, J is in psychotherapy for his temper.

 

I really think you have tried really hard and you are a star, I am sure everyone here really feels for you right now.

 

GOD bless you tonight and I pray that some hope comes your way

 

JsMum

[pearl]

<'> What J's mum said, Hev - I couldnt put it any better myself. Should at least confirm that residential is the best course for you to take.

[annie]

<'> <'> Hev <'> <'>

 

I'm thinking of you all Hun. Hope you are all ok .

 

Annie

xx

[elun1]

just read this

sending you <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[hev]

thanks for your messages <'> <'>

police cave him a caution which hopefully will work.

he def needs anger management but my cahms are useless,any ideas where i can get him some anger management?is psychopherapy same as anger management js mum?

steves gone with respite till 5 tonight,katies asleep so for now its peaceful

 

dads home from hospital,hes ok

[Mumble]

I'm glad things are sounding a little better Hev. Sorry if I've been moaning - I think I need a bit of perspective sometimes. Calling the police may sound awful, but I think you did the right thing. My older brother (ASD) was very violent to my mum and I when I was a child and it got to the extent that the neighbours used to call the police/ambulance. It really needed that outside agency to difuse the situation because he was too big and strong for me or my mum to handle.

 

I think it's good that he's on respite now just to give you and Katie a bit of a break. I hope things are ok when he gets back tonight. You are definatly doing the right thing in looking for residential schooling. My brother went away to residential placement first weekly then full time just coming home in the holidays. The holidays could still be horrendous, but that break during school time, now he's bigger and stronger is something you need.

 

I don't know much about anger management. Psychotherapy is just one approach to therapy - and you need to find the right one for S. Could you go to your GP and ask for a referral (and it may take several referrals to find the right one - and they need an awareness of ASDs). What about the NAS advice line? They have a service (I think you might be able to access it through their website actually) that gives services around your postcode.

 

I hope things settle down a bit.

 

Mumble <'>

[Wicce]

I'm glad your Dad's ok.

 

<'>

[pearl]

JP had anger management at college Hev, & found it v helpful.

Don't know what we do now he's left though.

Perhaps there will be something like that at Steve's residential?

Edited June 23, 2007 by pearl

[Bagpuss]

Glad things are more peaceful today Hev, and that your dad has come home and is ok, take care <'>

[soraya]

i turned stevens music down and he got me by the throat and started punching me,hes kicked the walls upstairs in,i called the police and they have taken him to the cells,i had to have an ambulance as i had severe panic attack,nick was at work,i called him home and hes gone to the police station with steven,while the police were here i got call from my sister,my dad has been rushed to hosp with severe stomach pains,waiting to see whats happening now,i phoned up social services and they going to phone me back,its a nightmare,i cant have steven beating me up and bullying me but thought of him down the police station is terrible

Hi Hev, my heart goes out to you, i know exactlly what you are going through, as last week Nick did the same thing to me, it is so hard, you did the right thing callilng the police, i wish i had because i can actually say i am now scared of my son, you can handle the when they are younger but as you know 13 is very different. had he calmed down by the time the police got there? Hope your ok now, and glad your dads ok.

PS You are not alone!!

[Clare63]

<'> Hev, <'> <'>

So sorry to read your "nightmare" day, I hope you are Ok? and that things take a turn for the better real soon.

Clare x x x x

[JsMum]

thanks for your messages <'> <'>

police cave him a caution which hopefully will work.

he def needs anger management but my cahms are useless,any ideas where i can get him some anger management?is psychopherapy same as anger management js mum?

steves gone with respite till 5 tonight,katies asleep so for now its peaceful

 

dads home from hospital,hes ok

 

Hi I found Js psychotherapist privately and pay for it, I knew I needed something urgently and I knew going throw the cahms would take too long as J needed help now, It was something he actually asked me for, he said he needed to talk to someone so I said I would find him that, and I looked into a childs clinical psychologist, and its saved our relationship from breaking down and given J a clear message that I have listened and got him someone to talk to, which he does with the help of drawing the CCP gets him to do and then they talk about it afterwards, with him been young the CCP gets him to open up with art and toys.

 

J already has had ADHD management therapy and that was more to do with stop think and act.

 

The psychotherapy is more to do with his feelings and emotions, he has not been aggressive since talking and he is aware of further appointments, the CCP is registered and properly trained to work with children with special needs especially children with ADHD and Autism.

 

Our choices are getting very thin, for us its working and its been immediate, its given us breathing space, I am keeping a diary of events and J has the oportunity to discuss his feelings with someone who can actually help him now, I agree the therapy has to be individualised and defo checks into the persons crediability.

 

I defo have felt for J he needed this, and its certainly helped us in a really difficult time.

 

JsMum

Edited June 23, 2007 by JsMum

[David Matthew Baker]

Sorry to hear things got really bad again. <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

I wish the authorities would stop failing you and your son. He so obviously needs help and it is worrying how far he seems to need to go before they take any notice. At least the residential school is progressing. I know your unsure on it but I think for your own safety it is the right choice. Hopefully they can help him sort of his problems so that when you do see him things go a lot smoother.

 

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[KarenT]

Only just seen this Hev. So sorry things have been so horrible - they all seem to come at once for you, don't they?

 

Really hope you can get the help you and Steve need. Defnitely looks as though you need some sort of anger management therapy for him now, it's getting so out of hand.

 

Karen

x

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

Hi I found Js psychotherapist privately and pay for it, I knew I needed something urgently

JsMum

 

been advised to do the same for dd

why are there no psychologists around on the nhs?

maybe the school you are looking at will have help for steve?

<'>

[JsMum]

been advised to do the same for dd

why are there no psychologists around on the nhs?

maybe the school you are looking at will have help for steve?

<'>

 

I dont know the answer but I know that the nhs psychologist are there its just the waiting lists are really long, J still hasnt been seen by a psychiatrist and the GP referred him in may, and this was even after a hospital peadatrition had re referred him, now our local childrens developmental team have also re referred him and still no appiontment and I have just been notified that the referral has been redirected to Js GP so I really dont know whats going on anymore, so no appointment in sight for the time being and this is after the police and emergancy social services have been involved.

 

Thats why I went and made an appointment with a psychologist because I knew he needed urgent help and someone trained enough to do that, becasue it was clear the police didnt understand.

 

I would look into it if you feel your child would benefit from it, I know for us its helped, more than the cahms and anyone else thats for sure.

 

JsMum

[lynyona]

<'> <'> <'> Hev <'> <'> <'>

 

 

So sorry your having a tough time of it

Glad your dads home

 

 

 

 

 

lynn

[hev]

just found out the school do anger management so thats a good thing,i really need his anger sorted as one day he will do him or others serious damage,ringing up ss in morning to see if they can help with it

[Clare63]

Sounds encouraging, good luck with your call tomorrow

 

Clare x x x

[Bagpuss]

Good luck in the morning <'> <'>

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

good lucks hunny <'>

[pearl]

just found out the school do anger management so thats a good thing,i really need his anger sorted as one day he will do him or others serious damage,ringing up ss in morning to see if they can help with it

Thats good Hev. JP certainly benefited from it.

[mandyque]

Good luck Hev, I hope he gets the help he needs, you really can't live on the edge of your wits all the time in case Steve kicks off. FWIW I think the police was a good idea, he needs to know that there are consequences to his actions, and in the outside world, if he attacked someone like that, he certainly wouldn't be blessed with the understanding and care from his victim that you show for him.

[hev]

ss just phoned me,they are going to push cahms for anger management,see how that goes

 

i felt awful taking k to school,i forgot my coat and people kept commenting on the bruise on my arm,and my face,how awful to say your son done it,i just said i fell over,no one believed me,nicks name will e mud as they think it was him i expect,didnt know what to say

[pearl]

<'> Hev <'> try not to worry about what anyone thinks, you've got enough to worry about love.

[David Matthew Baker]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[bluejean-genie]

Good luck Hev <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>