Home/School Diaries

[Bagpuss]

Our youngest dd has had a home/school diary since she began nursery at her present school. She is now 6 and in an assessment class for children with SEN. There are approx 10 children, with a teacher and an LSA. She travels to school on transport and returns on transport, so our method of communication with her teacher tends to be the home/school diary.

 

We found whilst at nursery it was filled out daily, and we were kept informed of what she had been doing that day, any upsets etc etc. Due to her speech and language being poor at that time, it was essential for us, and we really valued it.

 

She has been in her present class a full year, and is due to remain in this class for the next school year. I always query everything I'm unsure of via the diary, rather than taking dd's word for it. I had assumed the teacher was happy with this, and understood that it was difficult to get a full picture from dd, especially regarding anything she has found distressing.

 

However, as some of you will have read previously, when I queried how balanced her school report was via the home/school diary the HT rang and said dd's teacher was upset. She said the school may lose her as a teacher because she was getting fed up of parents finding fault. Now the HT assured me it was not DH or I, but other parents, although I'm loathe to believe that. Up to that point I had assumed I'd always had a really good relationship with dd's teacher, and had alot of respect for her.

 

Since that incident I've found I feel uncomfortable questioning anything in the home/school diary. I would really appreciate hearing anyone elses experience of them, so I can gauge what the "norm" is....if there is one Today she has come home covered in stickers with 1st on them. I've asked her about them, and she's said they are from Sports Day.....we knew nothing of this, there is no mention in her diary, although dd says her teacher said parents weren't coming this year. Normally I would question it in diary, and ask what took place.

 

She has also brought home a questionnaire , asking for parents views on school....and I'd be lying if I didn't admit to feeling ever so slightly evil about it when I fill it out I know, totally childish

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

never had a thing like this have to say

and if she was in bigger class i would assume that it is too time consuming

but seeing as there are so few, i dont see why it is not being done

if others are making noises i would not worry too much

 

x

[pragmatic]

Dear Bagpuss

 

I found relaying on home-school diary alone is not sufficient. I agreed with the school for a weekly briefing (usually 20 minutes)- this is usually done with my son's assistant and the school SENCO- I found these to be very helpful. I know other parents have a daily briefing every morning for five minutes. In your case when you rely on transport, perhaps a weekly meeting is more suitable. Do ask for an initial meeting with the SENCO and the HT so you can express your concerns and highlight that you are not complaining, however, you are trying to help and cooperate with the school. the more you know about what and how things are going on at the school the more you can apply similar strategies and re-enforce messages at home.

 

 

Pragmatic

[Flora]

I found the home/school diary extremely useful... However, the thing that concerns me most about your post was how the teacher takes things personally. Nobody likes people breathing down their neck when they are trying to do their job, but with some professions (teachers, nurses for example) it's part of the territory. You can't expect to be a teacher of any children, never mind sen kids, and not have the parents either relaying or asking information on a daily basis. If she is that delicate in her character then she shouldn't be in such a demanding job! It's not your job to feel guilty about the teacher; she has a duty to deliver a level a care and YOU as a parent have a duty to ensure your child receives it!!!!

 

She needs to toughen up, and the HT had no right telling you that the teacher was going to leave because of the parents.

 

I would continue how you are. Make sure you word any queiries or information in a way that is respectful (which I'm certain you are doing) and if the subject ever comes up again then tell them your concern is your daughter's welfare, not that of the teacher!

 

Flora X

[brooke]

Hi Bagpuss

Since ds1 has started in the unit his home/school diary is filled out most days so i know what hes done that day etc!! If there is a problem it is usually written in there or they will phone for a chat, i also feel safe in the knowledge i can give them a ring if im unhappy about something. I find writing things down sometimes makes me sound blunt which i dont mean to be, so i ring sometimes.

Im sorry your having this problem as i know from ds last school they didnt tell me anything and it made me MAD. i was also told (at his last school) that a teacher was threatening to leave i couldnt belive they said that but i just said basically its her job, if she cant handle it its not my problem (in nicer words!!!). We need to know our children are happy and safe at school and you shouldnt have to feel like you cant write in her diary incase you upset this teacher. I think i would just try to carry on as normal if you have a question just ask as your entitled to know what your child is doing, especially as they cant tell us themselves. <'> <'>

Take care

Brooke

[Bard]

I found the home/school diary extremely useful... However, the thing that concerns me most about your post was how the teacher takes things personally. Nobody likes people breathing down their neck when they are trying to do their job, but with some professions (teachers, nurses for example) it's part of the territory. You can't expect to be a teacher of any children, never mind sen kids, and not have the parents either relaying or asking information on a daily basis. If she is that delicate in her character then she shouldn't be in such a demanding job! It's not your job to feel guilty about the teacher; she has a duty to deliver a level a care and YOU as a parent have a duty to ensure your child receives it!!!!

 

She needs to toughen up, and the HT had no right telling you that the teacher was going to leave because of the parents.

 

I would continue how you are. Make sure you word any queiries or information in a way that is respectful (which I'm certain you are doing) and if the subject ever comes up again then tell them your concern is your daughter's welfare, not that of the teacher!

 

Flora X

 

I agree with you.

When you teach a class, you have basically been given control over the most important things that anyone can give you.

It's not at all surprising if people breathe down your neck, expect you to be interested in every little detail of their wellbeing and ask lots of questions about what you are doing and why. That's natural and normal. Sometimes people can get a little OTT, but that's because they care so much about their child.

As a teacher, you hope to give parents a sense of perspective, explain clearly so they understand why something is the way it is, listen to them properly when they tell you about worries and concerns, act on information, always keep promises and be a professional.

Bagpuss, you don't sound at all like a pushy parent, and I'm absolutely sure that you've stayed within the expected boundaries for behaviour. Not been escourted off the premises yet? Then you have.

The teacher's confidence, stress level and mental health are not really your concern, nor should you be made to feel that they are. It is her Head's job to deal appropriately with those issues.

I use home/school books for routine communication. For special, sudden problems that crop up we arrange appointments ASAP. I'm in school from 8am 'til 5, so it's normally easy.

I've often found the job stressful, multi-tasking to the max, fuelled by guilt and biscuits. Doesn't mean that you dump on parents or children.

[KarenT]

My only experience of home/school diaries is that the more you ask for one and explain why it's necessary, the more the school will dig their heels in and find excuses for not providing one. Admittedly this is only from one particular school, but that's my experience nonetheless. In fact, each time I've asked for better communication they've closed ranks further and told me less and less, with the culmination of this being told actual lies to cover for not being told essential information about quite significant and distressing incidents for J. But hey, that's why we're leaving this godforsaken hellhole in two days' time.

 

Sorry you're having a ropey time with school Bagpuss. Nearly the end of the school year, hope you can get things on a better footing in September.

 

Karen

x

[Elaine]

I have found home/school diaries quite useful and have certainly used them to query things. (Although with anything of importance I usually ask for a chat.)

 

Bard, Brooke and Flora have said it all really. The teacher is being over-sensitive. It's not your problem.

Edited July 17, 2007 by Elaine

[Bagpuss]

Thank you so much for all your replies <'> I think I'll carry on doing what I've always done, and query anything I'm unsure about, and if dd's teacher views that as something she can't cope with or finding fault, then so be it. I don't think I'm a pushy parent, and tbh, I felt really hurt myself when the HT rang. It was as if she couldn't deal with me, and after speaking to me, went to the HT....crikey, am I that scary I have friends who are teachers, so I do always try to understand what a difficult job it is, but then I suppose if something is written, it could come across as stroppy without any intention being there, as on the forum. It's so hard with dd to get a full and accurate picture of what has taken place......she may say someone has hit her, or she's been naughty, she needs to take something into school etc etc........so I'll ask what's what so I can deal with any fall out at home. I also struggle to find out anything she has done through out the school day, so appreciate it being logged in the diary, even if it's a few sentences.

 

The other point which irks me is that she has 10 children in her class........if she had 20 plus, and 20 plus parents to deal with, I could appreciate the stress and lack of time more.

 

I will remember to be sensible and mature when filling in questionnaire..........although I don't think I'll stretch to usual chocs and thank you card at end of term

[Bard]

She is now 6 and in an assessment class for children with SEN.

There are approx 10 children, with a teacher and an LSA.

She travels to school on transport and returns on transport, so our method of communication with her teacher tends to be the home/school diary.

 

I think these are all the justifications, explanations and reasons you require.

Off to mark my 32 Literacy books.

<'> <'>

Edited July 17, 2007 by Bard

[pearl]

We had one right through primary school, it was absolutely invaluable, & years down the line, a very moving record of JPs time at school.

 

Needed to be backed up by phone calls as well, I found, to clarify stuff.

 

At high school we relied more on phone calls.

 

And at 6th form, constant emails.

[David Matthew Baker]

The special school I worked at relied on the home/school diaries too as one of the main avenues of communication. They would phone home if there was urgent need to speak to the parents but every day minor issues were just commented on in the books. Along with reminders of sports kits, equipment, etc... when needed. They certainly are one of the main forms of communication and mean that parents have some input at school. In fact the special school is probably the only place I would have said is in regualar enough contact with the parents. When you have them on your side and behind you it is much easier to get things done. Another reason why I think what the head said was counter productive. I'd perhaps still send a card to show that you support the teacher in their role and how important they are. It is another way to show your not getting at her as a person. Just trying to get a more balanced view of your daughter so you can help as much as possible. Either by preparing her for situations she is likely to face at school or by helping her learn how to undertake tasks. With autistic children I'd say home school collabiration is even more important. If your working as a team life is easier for the children involved. Certainly all the comments you have given as examples I'd say are totally appropriate. Also agree with a lot of the things written in the posts above. <'> <'> <'>

[krystaltps]

C had one up until last year. It was hopeless, last year's teacher basically just used it to write down her gripes about C at the end of the day. We asked to do away with it this year as C (who always read it himself) was very discouraged about it, and it was seriously knocking his self-esteem.

Email is a possibility too - C's HT now emails me if there has been an incident, or (and this is very important) if he had been particularly good. With email, C isn't involved in the delivery of bad news, I get it instantly, and the teacher doesn't even have to do it herself (she can just ask the secretary to send off a message).

I think quality of communication depends on the teacher. I'm just about to start a new job as a SEN teacher next term, and I am anticipating frequent appointments with parents, phonecalls, and diary entries. With my mainstream classes, I have always welcomed parents to come in and see me after school, and ensured I made contact with them if there was something important they needed to know. I actually find lack of communication frustrating - as the parents can tell me so much about their children - and that helps me to be a better teacher for them.

[Clare63]

We use a school/home book currently yr 7, we have two one for me and one for DS who marks out of 10 his stress levels at the end of each lessons he also notes down any worries for the day which the TA will go through with him. My book is just to let them know anything I think they should and was told my DS should take responsibilty for his own concerns as she thought when it was just one book it was my worries for him and also she did not want me to make assumptions about school and what might happen etc. It does work quite well for us and will continue for Yr8, but then I guess my child is a lot older.

 

Clare x

[Bagpuss]

Thanks again everyone <'> I really appreciate your replies, because I had begun to wonder if I was expecting too much from the home/school diary, and had just been fortunate up until now. Seems the majority have found it a positive thing, which works well most of the time. I think communication is vital, especially with children who have SEN. I always try to let dd's teacher know if dd is upset about anything, if she has had a bad night's sleep and may be grumpy and irritable etc.....and also to inform her of positive things we are seeing at home. Surely that only makes her job easier. She filled in it once last week, to say dd enjoyed the school trip, other than that nothing. Ditto previous week, just one entry. I've put virtually nothing in since the chat with the HT, but I think that's a mistake, and I'm doing dd no favours by trying to keep the peace and not upset her teacher. I don't think it's appropriate that I should feel worried about her teacher leaving

[Bagpuss]

Was also wondering if I would be asking too much requesting the diary be filled in daily, even if it's a few sentences about what she's done that day etc? How would I go about politely asking for this? The home/school diary is mentioned in her Statement

Edited July 18, 2007 by Bagpuss

[David Matthew Baker]

The primary kids ones at the special school I worked at were filled in daily. Perhaps ask if they can keep a record of any problems she encounters in the diary. That way you could say you can spot problems that occur at school that you might be able to help solve at home. Hence hopefully reducing the number of problems/issues the teacher faces and hence making her life easier. I'd just emphasise how much it is a two way thing. Everything about working with autistic children is. After all the main thing they need is consistancy. I hope they start using the diary more effectively. <'>

[Bagpuss]

Thanks David.

[Clare63]

BP, don't see that as a problem to ask for a line or two daily, my son's TA (who only sees him at the start of each day to let him know any changes and to check if he's noted down any worries) usually puts a comment down, examples "I was pleased to see that ***'s levels were lower yesterday" "he settled quickly, I will follow his progress thoughout the day" "he says he has a sore throat, but does not feel too bad" at least by making these comments I know she has checked the book. Perhaps it would be a good idea to ask for a short meeting with your DD TA so you can discuss exactly the sort of things to jot down and assure her that you are not critising her but trying to get across the difficulties your DD is expereincing.

 

Good luck in sorting this out.

 

Clare x x x

[Bagpuss]

Thanks Clare. I'm quite relieved now that the summer hols are looming... it will give me chance to have a think about it, and how best to deal with it come September.

[Clare63]

Yeah can't agree with you more, had Connor off sick since last Thursday but hope to get him in for the last 3 days next week.....then we can hopefully relax.....well just a little bit.

 

Clare x x x

[Bagpuss]

My three finish on Friday....normally I dread the hols, as I find it so difficult to find anything all three will enjoy. Everywhere is busy, with huge queues, and what one kiddie will do, the other won't.....but I'm actually feeling ok about these hols. Just going to try and chill and take each day as it comes