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phoebe

just done the shoe shop

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How I hate shoe shopping, with the only child who cant sit still, who cant see and emulate how the other kids that are waiting, who talks to all the shop assistants while they are serving other people and whose only interest is in the shoe that he likes the look of which doesn't really fit him properley....... you end up without getting anything and the shop assistant feels like she has wasted her time on your misbehaved, child.

Oh **** I am going to have to do it all again to get him a pair of shoes for school.

Sorry, having a downer and needed to get it off my chest.

By this stage of the holidays, I need a break!!

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Know the feeling Phoebe - we still have ours to get - I've been putting it off but I know it has to be done this weekend - cos if I can't get them (she has a really narrow fitting plus one foot a whole size smaller) I'll have to travel further next weekend and that's the last weekend before new term........aargh dreading it - just hope the assistant I have in Clarks isn't the one that I've had the past twice I've visited.....my daughter just gets so depressed and is unresponsive when she's there - that you get the looks and comments of 'well new shoes always will feel uncomfortable the first few times, and you've probably been wearing sandals through the summer and forget what shoes feel like' and 'what's wrong with these ones, tell me what the problem is'..................oh joy!

 

Take care,

Jb

Edited by jb1964

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hi. i have been putting this off too. going to have to go next week. my child screams and refuses to stand on the measurer, then curls up his toes so they can't put shoes on then tries to pull assistants hair while they are fitting him. then he flops on the floor. such good fun. and all the stares you get!

 

we also have to throw out all his old shoes or he will not wear his new ones.

 

i am sure they draw straws in the back when they see us coming!

however it's their job and it only lasts a short time. we have to deal all the time so basically i now think stuff 'em, what do they know.

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Oh dear this time again- I took the dramatic step this year and bought self measuring tool- I made 4 trips to the shoe shop alone every time buying a better fit until finally I got it right (well I hope so)-- I just couldn't do it this year. The problem is my boy is too big for his age and everyone would think he is 15 (while he is only 11)- the crowd and noise really irritate him and he starts to be silly REALLY REALLY SILLY; playing with under five toys- looking at the mirrors and laughing hysterically and so one- of course this is much worse with his younger brothers along as they simply copy him and I just wish to disappear.

 

He is growing very fast anyway so I am sure next time is not going to be long from now-

 

Now I need to think about trainers :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash:

 

Pragmatic

 

P.S did the same with all the school uniform

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I'm dreading this! G is worse than his 3 yr old brother and flops about, screeches and is generally hyper. He won't stand on the machine that measures thier feet as it's a new one which involves him rolling up his trousers at the ankle! They're be a huge wait this time of year too (wondering about going about 7pm at night, if that will be any quieter?) He goes floppy too.

 

Then there's alway the classic moment when they say 'why don't you go for a walk and try those?' and I call urgently after him 'when you reach the door/shelf/ whatever/ remember to turn around and walk back to us?' (or he'd possibly keep going) and the assistant gives me the horrified 'how neurotic are you!' look.

 

And they both desperately need haircuts too before the start of term sob.

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Oh, the joys of shoe-shopping! Why is it so much worse than any other form of shopping. Up until a couple of years ago, C would get so upset about shoe shops that he would poo himself :o . This is the first year we have been able to try the school shoes on in person. Previously I would draw round his foot on paper, cut it out, and try the "paper foot" inside the shoes. BUT... this year, a certain popular shoe shop advertised cars that go inside your shoes! Well, this is a must-have item of course, and it resulted in a family outing to the mainland to purchase said car-shoes... and, joy of joys - no poo! :bounce:

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I think its worse because theres so much interaction involved, the fitting etc.

 

JP used to run into the stockroom & pull all the boxes off the shelves when he was a toddler.

 

Our worst moment EVER was buying trainers (sure I've posted this before but what the hey) - he was about ten.

 

He took one look at the person serving us & said to me, I cant tell if its a man or a woman.

I gave him my pre-agreed Shut Up NOW look, he clocked it & said, BUT I REALLY CAN'T!

At which point I bought expensive trainers just to get the hell out of there, & stormed off down the high street with him running behind, shouting, I'm sorry I said that APPALLING thing!!!

 

I wouldnt speak to him for several hours I was so angry, not the best response, but you know what, he never did it again.

Edited by pearl

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Got DS shoes, travelled every shoe shop, bless him!

Tried on every pair in the shops until he was 100% sure they fitted perfectly. Let the sales assistants know they had to get it right or he was not for buying.

 

I've passed the stage of caring what people think.

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:wub: Thanks guys - knew you would understand!!

 

First thing I have smiled at today reading some of your responses..... maybe they weren't supposed to be funny, but just knowing you know what I mean gives some relief.

 

It is DS Birthday today - should be a happy day of course, but it just seems so stressful..... relatives coming round and Ds displaying the most spoilt brattish behaviour, tearing open presents and casting them aside before he even looks at them properly (or coming out with honest comments)!!! The word not even thought of, saying Thank you not entering his head - yes all children are like this to an extent, and part of the joy of childhood is the excitement of Birthday's and Christmas. On these days his behaviour epitomises all the things I hate and I have to be a happy encouraging and joyful mummy, sometimes the stress is too much :(

 

I could almost say I am looking forward to the return to school if I didn't know what a nightmare the first term (at least) will be like.

 

:crying::crying:

 

Sorry again - still feeling low :crying:

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hi phoebe, my boy does that with presents too, he has to open them as fast as possible, don't think he gets that the present is the important bit. anyway, i just let him get on with it, he is allowed 2 hyper days birthday and christmas when there is no point trying to enforce anything.

my boy also caught me labelling his new uniform last night, so we had big tantrums and "no school no school" so i understand that first term back thing.

wish i could say something to cheer you up. >:D<<'>

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I am dreading the shoe shop as El has a shoe compulsion.... he wants to lick them! Our Local Branch of Barretts are used to him! They always go out of their way to be nice and last time they said there was a job as a cleaning supervisor for El anytime he wanted it! So we avoid all other shoe shops now really....Next are ok too! All depends on the staff!

 

He goes into an excited frenzy, and I get very red faced! :lol:

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Hi

I'm new - my DS is 11years old. dx HFA. Its good to read this thread - for years I thought I was the only one with these shoe shop problems. In fact shoes are a problem period. he has been known to throw brand new shoes out of his bedroom window to lose them!!I now measure his feet myself and buy them. To be honest I have found this more of a problem as he gets older, as people are far less tolerant of older kids who they feel should know better. Also as his feet get bigger its more difficult to buy velcro straps as I've had no luck teaching him to do laces. For his footie boots I got those sports elastic laces that you just pull to tighten.

 

Juney

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Just read this >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> to you Phoebe and to everyone else who has to brave the shoe shop. I took O day before yesterday and it was the usual story - screaming, making sick noises, the stares from the other mothers.... Worst of all this time though was the way he walked to the shoe shop. He rocks and jumps constantly - all linked to his autism and he wouldn't walk at all - jumped most of the way landing on me twice (I'd stupidly worn flip flops - ouch!!) He's also finding the noise of the traffic unbearable at the moment and covered his ears all the way there too - even harder to make any progress down the pavement! You can't let go of him for a second or he'd be under a car. Got to take eldest ds next week - just can't face doing it with both. Last time eldest ds (non dx AS) said to the assistant 'Are you sure you are professionally trained for this job?' :o:o

Take care all, love Elun xxx

Edited by elun1

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We've had similar diffculties with both our girls. Our youngest wouldn't allow anyone to even measure her feet when she was younger, and refused to try any footwear on. She'd kick and scream. She now wears orthotic footwear, and goes to the hospital to have them fitted. It has got easier over time though, and now she tolerates it well.

 

Our eldest dd has always been difficult to buy footwear for. She will try endless pairs on, and they cannot be in the slightest bit loose. They must have a velcro strap, she won't wear slip ons, and last year I totally gave up after weeks of shoe searching. I put her in trainers, for school too, as a short term measure, which she was happy to wear. Eventually I took her to C's, and although I was worried about the cost, I thought if they were professionally fitted, she'd prefer them and tolerate them. It took quite a few different one's, before she found a pair which were just right for her. I don't know what I'll do as she becomes older. She is nearly 10 now, and all girls school shoes are mainly slip on's, and I don't like to see her in trainers for school.

Edited by Bagpuss

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We always have a hideous time at the shoe shop as well. My lad has ridiculously narrow feet and they don't even make shoes in his size and width fitting! :o We're really restricted, therefore, to 'anything that will stay on him' and most shoe shops just shake their head and say, sorry, we don't have anything that narrow, nothing at all and we walk out again.

 

We did well last time and found a pair of trainers that were velcro and, with the addition of innersoles, didn't flop up and down, so we were happy for quite a while. Last time it was a simple question of going back and getting the same ones in the next half size up. Before going into the shop I had a nice chat with J about him cooperating and us getting out quickly and him not making a fuss, but lo and behold, the minute our number came up he was freaking out and making a terrible spectacle of himself. :whistle: He was very upset with himself afterwards and said he'd shown himself up and everyone was staring (which they were), but I'm sure next time he'll do it all over again.

 

We're just so lucky that he doesn't wear uniform at his school so he can go in with manky old trainers and jeans and it's no prob. :thumbs: If we had to get black lace-ups we'd really struggle and it would actually be a very big problem even getting any to fit him, let alone the laces issue! :unsure:

 

~ Mel ~

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Also as his feet get bigger its more difficult to buy velcro straps as I've had no luck teaching him to do laces. For his footie boots I got those sports elastic laces that you just pull to tighten.

 

Juney

 

Hi Juney,

 

Welcome to the forum.

 

I had the same problem with laces but I discovered that bribery sometimes work :rolleyes: When my son was 10 I bought him one of those shoe lace teaching toys with cardboard- really meant for much younger children- I told him he will have 10 pounds if he manages it and taught him over and over again I also said that he will lose 10p each time he will ask me for help :devil: His obsession is to collect RC stuff (plans, boast and so on) and they can be expensive so we asked him to contribute from his pocket money each time he wants to buy something- this seemed to help. He is quite a big boy so this year I bought him slip in shoes- not sure it will work tho as it is a bit fiddly.

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i dread getting shoes too just the queues :wallbash: its makes everything worse so this time i took Ol on his own at the start of the hols and stood outside the shop waiting for it to open so we were the first in and was able to get his shoes phew!! He is a lot better these days but he has very wide feet so there never seems to be much choice and last time the shoes we got rubbed so i have to be very careful about what he wears.

Brooke

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Hi

I am lucky as Niamh needs orthotic boots, so we don't have the stress of shoe shopping. However, when I phone to make an appointment they are normally booked for at least the next 3 weeks - once they had no appointments I could make for 6 weeks! Then once at the hospital we have to wait to be seen - longest I think was 45 mins. She is quite happy to have her feet measured - especially if they need to take a sponge cast of her foot for her insoles as she loves the foam and always asks to take a box of it home with her. Then she can choose what colour she would like - last time she wanted purple sandles but that colour had just been discountinued (luckily she was in a very good mood that day!) so she went with red.

However, we have major probs with getting her hair cut - we have never tried a salon as she gets stressed out enough at home. She is getting worse with this the older she gets - she says she hates the hair falling on her face. Any tips?

Emma

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However, we have major probs with getting her hair cut - we have never tried a salon as she gets stressed out enough at home.

 

 

 

 

OH hair cuts- Don't let me started- I don't have any tips tho.. But for sure home is the ONLY way we can do it-- SI is in great need for a cut at the mo and both of us are reluctant !!

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"However, we have major probs with getting her hair cut - we have never tried a salon as she gets stressed out enough at home. She is getting worse with this the older she gets - she says she hates the hair falling on her face. Any tips?"

 

Oh yes - haircuts!!

That is a whole other matter, we also cut only at home now after years of struggling....luckily I am able to just shave his head with some of those clippers (actually even more luckily, ONLY daddy can do it). Luckily we have a boy otherwise I might have to go and learn how to do it properly!!

 

Reading back through the posts and replies, I am aware thsat I didn't really plan for this shoe shopping trip and I should know better by now!!!

 

I like that first person in the shop udea and I had already thought I might even phone them before I go next time, to explain and get the right assistant to help us. NOte to self PHONE the night before, be first in shop next morning........... The shop assisstant might have a sleepless night :devil: or worse, they might all phone in sick the next day!!!!!

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However, we have major probs with getting her hair cut - we have never tried a salon as she gets stressed out enough at home. She is getting worse with this the older she gets - she says she hates the hair falling on her face. Any tips?

Emma

 

Oh no the haircut is another dread. My daughter has gorgeous hair - it's a real chesnut brown colour and natural curl to boot - and she will have nothing done other than a trim because it's so stressful for her. Luckily now for the past two years we have a local hairdresser who comes to the house and she has a dry-cut. Also washing her hair/bathing has always been a task too - although since we've had the shower fitted she says it's much easier.

 

My daughter hates her hair on her face too - so it's a centre parting and never shorter than to the shoulders (it used to be really long - until she had a really bad episode of nits and she agreed to have it cut to her shoulders) so that it can be tied back in one ponytail tight to the nape of the neck (strange that the ponytail has to be quite tight when she is so sensitive on her head and skin but she says if it's not tight she feels like it's going to come undone).

 

Take care,

Jb

Edited by jb1964

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Hi Jb

Niamh used to have long hair - it was very curly until she was 4 - and. like with your daughter, it had to be cut after she got nits. It was cut to a shoulder bob and she let that haircut happen quite easily, but now it is in desperate need of a trim but won't let us anywhere near it. She also hates having her hair brushed but she won't be persuaded that the shorter her hair is the easier it will be to brush - her hair is very thick which doesn't help!

Emma

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Yes Phoebe,I agree, I was just saying on another post, 6 weeks is too long for holiday, I'm pulling my hair out.

I haven't braved the shoe shop for my son's school shoes yet, I can still remember the disaster we had last summer.

Good luck with your next shoe outing.

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I just cut my son's hair with clippers after a couple of weeks of notice. I don't know how I'd cope with long hair or any sort of styling!!

 

juney

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I just cut my son's hair with clippers after a couple of weeks of notice. I don't know how I'd cope with long hair or any sort of styling!!

 

juney

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