I need a bit of a hug....please !

[Clare63]

Sorry but I , probably like a lot of others on here, need a bit of a hug right now....

 

Had a nightmare getting Connor ready for school this morning, following a really positive day yesterday I was secretly hoping all would be OK. We had tears, punching himself, hiding and refusing to go, but managed to get out the door and pick up his school friend on the way (pre arranged so he'd have company to go in with) the journey there was really good the boys chatty and Connor was up beat.

 

Yesterday the SENCO left a message on our answer phone welcoming Connor back and explaining where he had to go, what time and that a new TA would go through all the new stuff with him....great, fantastic I thought, I have evidence to play Connor what will happen.

 

Anyway got back this morning and another message to say he settled well and was seen as happy and chatting with the other children !!! excellent..... I thought, so (big mistake) I rung up to thank her for messages, the conversation went along the lines of yes he is OK, giving me the impression they consider him "recovered" !!!! so we didn't bother with the TA (part of the reason I got him into to school reassuring him his TA would be there to support him and go through all the changes as promised on yesterdays message. She also said good he's got a friend to come in with so he'll no longer need meeting by the TA each morning, I said excuse me but he needs that support there no way he'll walk alone around the back of the school into the playground, she said well we can't keep this up !!!! he 'll have to in the future, I replid my priority is to get him to school thats a major step for us. Anyway the conversation went on and there appears to be load of changes.... including being in a teaching group with no children he knows. I was sooooo close to tears I had to close the call and said I would ring her later when he comes home from school to see how it went.

 

Don't mean to be negative but I know my son and I am dam sure he'll be totally freaked out by all this and guess who is left to pick up the pieces. Both CAMHS and Outreach say the school have to do more for him and they do try but never seem to deliver.

 

Sorry to go on and on, the above probably does not make any sense, but I need to get it off my chest. I can't concerntrate on anything and am pacing the floor, have rung and text my DH but he is not replying. I just can't do this school thing more.........

 

Clare x x x PS BIG HUGS to anyone else feeling worn and vulnerable today <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[Stella63]

Hi Clare <'> <'> <'>

 

I truly sympathise and understand how you're feeling. OJ could only cope in yr6 with his TA taking him into school every morning.

 

He has gone for his first day at secondary school and I am having constant palpitations! He has to go swimming today, as a fun activity. He loves swimming and can swim well but he is overweight and very self conscious, he can't do his tie up yet, and all his clothes feel really uncomfortable and scratchy. He won't manage on his own under all that stress and I dread him coming home saying he hates school and we get back into the school refusal thing.

 

The fact that I work in his Learning support dept and can influence members of staff to a certain extent doesn't make me feel any less worried!

 

Lets compare notes later

 

Stella x

[pearl]

BIIIG <'> s to both of you. I remember it well & STILL felt the same when JP started work last month!

[Pets74]

<'>

i have nothing else to add, as i am like this too.

 

hope school pulls their finger out though and gives your child everything they need.

<'>

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

bad day for all of us

not sure if this tension is actually worse than having them at home

<'> >< <'> >< <'>

[Bagpuss]

Huge hugs <'> <'>

[oxgirl]

So sorry, Clare, you could do without this. <'> It's the total feeling of helplessness that is the worst, isn't it. Today at 10.30 I just stood in my kitchen, just stood there. I didn't have a clue what to do with myself, I was paralyzed with worry and fretting. We're left dangling at home just praying that school are doing the best for our child and then when they get home it's us that has to pick up the pieces, put them back together and send them off the next day to do it all again. It's exhausting, isn't it. <'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[BusyLizzie100]

To Clare and everyone going through this right now:

 

BIG BIG HUGS! <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Yes, Mel, it is exhausting. I'm more worn out today without the boys than I have been all summer with them all at home.

 

Looking forward to a bit of later on.

 

Take care, all.

Lizzie xxx

[Juney]

Clare,

 

hope your son's day at school went OK.

 

maybe put in writing to the Senco how you feel - this works better for me than phone calls.

 

 

Stella,

 

Hope your son enjoyed swimming and managed with his tie etc. My son has just had his second day at secondary. We've got tie issues this morning he had it on the outside of the shirt collar, I had to be extremely diplomatic about changing it!

 

All the best for the coming few days

 

juney

[smiley]

Claire <'> <'>

 

When will schools learn eh?

 

Big hugs to you <'> and all the parents struggling today (and our little 'uns too! ).

My little man introduced himself to the new head yesterday - by thumping him . Seems like a nice bloke, and thought he was being helpful when M ran out of the classroom into the library - and he tried to stroke his arm to calm him............ I guess he's now learnt not to touch M unexpectedly when he's feeling stressed.............................

 

<'>

[mum22boys]

Hi,

 

You are not the only one fed up with school already!!!

 

M went back to school today and at lunch time he had tried to run away

 

His new teacher seems to be very good, it is just the poor communication throughout the school which makes it all the harder. M has a big problem at the moment with eating with other people. He says watching them eat makes him feel sick and he refuses to eat if sat with others. I explained the problem to his new teacher and she agreed to take him to the hall at lunch and get him sat on a bench alone. Apparently that was ok until another child sat next to him, so he moved, then another child sat next to him which he ignored. A teacher then walked into the hall and said to M and the other child they were to sit at a table. He stood up shoved his lunch in his bag and said thats it i'm running away. And with that he took off. The dinner lady (who is also a friend) tried to run after him but didn't catch him in time. His class teacher walked in the hall at that moment and asked where he was, she was furious when she was told what had happened.

 

He was sent home with a new message book. At the end she wrote asking me to make sure M doesn't wear his elastic bands to school again. This has been his obsession for the last few months, picking up the postmans elastic bands and wearing them . Easier said than done. They have no idea how hard it is trying to break an obsession. he went mad when i told him. Yes I agree there is a safety matter to it but M doesn't understand that!

 

I feel worn out already. Then today I found out R is about to have his CDAC assessment. I can't believe i'm going through it again.

 

Hope some of you had better first days back.

 

mum22boys <'>

[Clare63]

Oh my goodness I knew I was not the only one and heart goes out to you all. Thank you for your kind messages and hugs.

 

Well he survied but none too happy, bit confussed and so very tired. Could so easily be made more managable if they would only just listen, he needs reassurance and clarification of all changes, ah well they say life not like that !!!!! ugh he's only 12 and I have enough trouble just getting him out the door.

 

Thanks Juney for your suggestion, managed to locate the senco's email going to put everything in writing from now on and keep it safely in a little file. If this continues I am seriously looking at Home Ed, two local friends with boys the same age with AS have just started and its made a world of a difference.

 

Just heard a funny noise turned round and Con is curled up asleep in an armchair snoring ahhhh bless, God how I love him

 

Thanks again, wishing you all well over the coming days and weeks as we enter the new school year.

 

Clare x x x

[Stella63]

Hi

 

Thanks so much for all the support <'> <'>

 

OJ came out of school saying it was a 'living hell'. My stomach just dropped. He was shouted out for being last out of the changing rooms after swimming and the PE teacher who shouted is also his form tutor so now he hates him!

 

OJ does fixate on the negative so have been trying to get some positive out of him and he admitted that his DT lesson was good but he said he hasn't made any friends today. Had to explain that it takes time to get to know new people and he has to give it time.

 

I will be talking to my senco about the form tutors attitude - trouble is the PE staff are a law unto themselves - no mercy and all that - anyway I will persevere and keep him positive. Glad to know I have people around me who understand.

 

Stella x

[darky]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> big hugs to you. You are not alone. Mine went back yesterday and I was already crying by 7am. My girls new school seem to be good at the moment, a TA taking her off me in the mornings and handing her over to me after school. School home diary in place, good comms so far.

 

First letter has already gone in though on day 2, due to my son telling me there was a year 6 girl taking the mickey out of my girl behind her back, calling her weird annoying and stupid. The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach came back, letters, phone calls, meetings and emails, chase chase all the time, where was her support then. Its really refreshing to know I am not abnormal for thinking I prefer my children to be at home with all the mess, noise and chaos than have to go through the same thing every day, sending my kids to school knowing its going to cause so much distress. I hate it and can sympathise with you. Im terrifed they will try and take some of my kids support away and wont listen to us, who know best!

[elun1]

<'> <'> <'> Clare <'> <'> <'> Just read this, so sorry you're feeling stressed - I really hope tomorrow is a better day. It sounds like school making light of it all and you're left to pick up the pieces from the fallout when people don't take our kids problems seriously. Got to go - tons of schoolwork to do and kids will not sleep - aaahhhh!!!

Hugs to everyone else suffering at the start of term <'> <'> <'>

Elun xxx

[Kathryn]

Clare

 

<'> <'>

 

K

[ellisisamazing]

Clare,

 

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

I hope you are feeling better this evening?

 

Lots of Hugs

 

Lisaxx

[Eva]

Hi Clare and to everyone else,

 

just wanted to add some <'> <'> <'> <'> .

 

Eva

[mrs fussy]

Hi just wanted to add my experience of returning to school. My DS returned on Tues to another local school (we moved him after major fallout with the head and class teacher being unwilling to carry forward things that had been put in place the previous year for him, it was very little that we were asking for and they couldnt even do that, so after a year of fighting we finally gave up and moved him)We are not sure if this will prove to be the right thing, seems generally to be 'working' at the moment, There has been nothing put into place for him as really we want school to make there own judgements as what they feel he needs to see if they think the same as us(as old school totally disagreed) his teacher seems very nice, my DS said he likes her gave her 10 out of 10 so thats a good sign, even tho he said he had had some sort of disagreement with her.Accouple of things on the negative side hes had a couple of bumps which they have not told me about but nothing serious, so keeping our fingers crossed. thx Mrs F x

[JsMum]

Hugs and TLC coming your way, it sounds really annoying with how they are treating your son, they want to skip a few of the goals by the sounds of it and I so hate the comment well they will have to do it eventually, right now they can not manage that, we are taking this small step and once he has that completed we will look at this issue, I would defo write about the situation and the emails are a good way to keep a diary.

 

I hope that tomorrow is a better day at school.

 

JsMum

[Clare63]

We had a dreadful night last night, Connor ended up sleeping with me as he kept waking and crying worrying about school and saying he was having nightmares. He was sobbing on and off all night, by six this morning I was exhausted. Well he was a bit better this morning and I took him in to where he was supposed to meet the TA, who ended up 15 minutes late, so he was fretting badly. I had a few firm words (with tears in my eyes ) explaining the effort it takes us and Connor to get to school and that they must be consistent with his support. Picked him up this afternoon and he was reasonably happy

 

I did email last night and have had a reply from the SENCO this evening, so that has worked well.

 

Here's for a good day tomorrow and then we can start the weekend !!!!!

 

Hope everyone else having problems are get some answers/support etc

 

<'> <'> <'> Hugs to all

 

Clare x x x

[lynyona]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[Frangipani]

<'> <'> <'> <'>

[curra]

Claire <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

What a nightmare for your poor boy and you!. It was so similar with my DS also every time he started school. It's horrible how schools avoid giving support unless they are compelled to it:wallbash:. It makes things so difficult for everyone involved, especially the kids I hope that Connor had a better day today after the Senco "woke up"!

Lots of good wishes and hugs to you and all who have been having difficult school days these week! <'> <'> <'>

 

Curra xxx

[jo4themo]

Hi

Just thought I would add about Niamh's first day back. She wasn't looking forward to it as she is in a new class this year (even though she was having lessons in this class 3 mornings a week for all of the summer term)as (in her words) her teacher is fussy (basically Niamh now has to work a bit harder, LOL!) On Sunday we went out to a castle for a birthday picnic for one of my nieces and Niamh was fine apart from a bit of a meltdown at lunch as she wanted to sit in the shade. Monday we went shopping and again she had a bit of a meltdown over a toy she wanted.

Tuesday morning everything was fine until 5 minutes before her taxi was due and she burst into tears and said she didn't want to go back to school and she wanted to go to our local mainstream one instead (last term she visited there a few times to see if she was ready to go back to mainstream 1 day a week, but it was a disaster). Somehow I managed to calm her down and get her shoes on just in time. That afternoon I went to meet her off the taxi and her escort said she hadn't wanted to get off the taxi but she had stayed calm. I asked Niamh how her day had been and she said "Fine" (which is a lot for her as she normally doesn't say anything). Anyhow, on Wednesday she was ready 5 minutes before her taxi was due and when it arrived she actually ran to get in it!

This morning was a bit different though as she took ages to get dressed and ready and it didn't help that DD had put telly on (which I had to turn off as Nimah was glued to it and not getting ready) and that DS woke up with a tummyache and was sick eveywhere just when I was about to put Niamh's hair up!

Emma

[forbsay]

How did you wee boy get on today?

 

Forbsay

[Clare63]

Hi, thanks everyone for your kind replies, for some reason I am feeling more in control today, probably a cross between getting through the past 3 days and not having to work this weekend.

 

Was still a struggle to get him in on Friday, but we went even manging to get in on time, was meet by his new TA who was all smiley and he went off quite happy with her. After school he was positive, we have him excluded from PE (its just all too much for him) and he goes to the SN room when its that lesson, they have agreed to carry this on and he said it went well and did all his home work there.. way hey won't have to worry about that this weekend. He's talked about school next week, about a new friend he's made and is well chuffed that in 3 days he's been awarded 4 merits for good work..... so things looking good. Not being negative I won't hold my breath, I'll see what Monday brings.

 

Thanks all for your good wishes and I truly hope that everyone else experiencing difficulties at this time receieve the help and support they need.

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

Clare x x x

[dooday24]

sending u loads of these clare <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

love donnaxxxxxxxxxxxxx