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Viper

What kind of mother am I?

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It's my DDs 13th birthday tomorrow and her present hasn't arrived.

 

She wanted an ipod nano in pink. I had trouble finding one but eventually found one on Amazon. I ordered it and later looked at the details, only to discover it is coming from France and could take a week to 10 days to get here.

 

I've told her and she is so upset and called me horrible. I have shed tears over this, I really feel bad. She wanted to take it to school tomorrow ( they are allowed to use them in some lessons)

 

DH has managed to buy her a silver cross pendant (only a cheap one) so she has something to open in the morning. But I feel like the worst mother that ever took breath right now. She is always the one who misses out. Being stuck between 2 ASD siblings is hard and to make things even worse, it's Supermans birthday on the 29th and his present arrived on Monday.

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Mean Moms/mums

 

Someday when my children are old enough to

understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will

tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you

enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom,

and what time you would be home.

 

I loved you enough to be silent and let you

discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours

while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

 

I loved you enough to let you see anger,

disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must

learn that their parents aren't perfect.

 

I loved you enough to let you assume the

responsibility for your actions even when the

penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say

NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

 

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm

glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.

And someday when your children are old enough to

understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the

meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids

ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

 

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all

times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She

had to know who our friends were, and what we were

doing with them.. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve

to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work.

We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to

cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash

and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie

awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the

whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time

we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn

when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could

date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16 .

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of

things other kids experienced. None of us have ever

been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's

property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

 

Now that we have left home, we are all educated,

honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean

parents just like Mom was.

 

I think that is what's wrong with the world today.

It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

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I promised my little girl(ADHD and social communication difficulties) a girlie shop for her birthday and she's still waiting for it. Her birthday was in April, and she will get it, but when she has behaved well enough to deserve it. Getting a birthday present on time the day doesn't make you a good mum, if my daughter spoke to me like that, she wouldn't get any of her birthday presents, and I wouldn't go out and buy another present 'cos it wasn't there on time. You're a lovely mum Viper, and you don't deserve to be treated that way when you've done your best and something outside your control has happened.

s

xxx

Edited by Sallya

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A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

 

God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

 

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.

 

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you.

 

And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

 

Again the child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

 

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

 

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

 

God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

 

"Who will protect me?" God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

 

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

 

God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

 

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

 

"You will simply call her, "Mom."

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A Mother's Crown

 

~ Unknown ~

 

Heaven lit up with His mighty presence,

As all the Angels looked down,

Today the Lord was placing the jewels,

In all the mother's crowns.

 

As He held up a golden crown,

As all the mother's looked on,

He said in His gentle voice,

"I just want to explain each stone".

 

He held the first gem in His hand

But the radiance couldn't match His own.

For He was the light of Heaven,

Reflecting off each of the stones.

 

"The first gem," He said, "is an emerald,

And it's for endurance alone,

For all the nights you waited up.

For your children to come home.

 

For all the nights by their bedside,

You stayed till the fever went down,

For nursing every little wound,

I add this emerald to your crown."

 

"A ruby, I'll place by the emerald,

For leading your child in the right way,

For if you hadn't taught them about me,

They wouldn't be here with you today.

 

For always being right there,

Thru all life's important events,

I give you a sapphire stone,

For the time and love you spent."

 

"For untying the strings that held them,

When they grew up and left home,

I give you this one for courage."

Then the Lord added an amethyst stone.

 

"I'll place a stone of garnet," He said,

"For all the times you spent on your knees,

When you asked me to take care of your children,

And them for having faith in me."

 

"I have a pearl for every little sacrifice,

That you made without them knowing,

For all the times you went without,

To keep them happy, healthy, and growing."

 

"And last of all I have a diamond,

The greatest of all gems,

For those mother's who lost their children,

When they came home to heaven before them."

 

"This is the most precious sacrifice,

So I give the most precious stone,

For I know just how you felt,

I too lost a child of my own."

 

After the Lord placed the last jewel in,

He said, "Heaven is now complete,

For every mother has her crown of jewels,

And all her children are at her feet."

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Ah man, tricky situation!

 

Viper I know you probably already know this but I would try not to take it too personally that she called you horrible. It's most likely a combination of disappointment and frustration. In most situations you get your birthday present on your birthday so she was always going to be disappointed, she shouldn't be calling you names but she's a kid and she's probably told all her mates that she is getting her nano on such and such day, she'll come around and I'm sure things will be ok again.....Thinking back to when I was a teenager, the days seemed much longer then, I bet ten days feels forever for her right now. (This isn't a guilt trip btw, I don't think you've done anything wrong but be a victim of small print :( )

 

Have you explained fully why it's not getting here on time? Have you said that you've searched various websites with no luck and made an honest mistake with Amazon? If not perhaps if she understands that you have tried and that pink nanos aren't that easy to find (I know they're one of the uncommon ones) she might be a bit more ok with the situation. If I (wrongly) thought that my mum hadn't put very much effort into getting me a birthday present as a kid I might be upset as well so maybe it's a miscommunication between you both and this is how she is feeling? It might just be worth having a sit down and a chat and being totally honest with one another.

 

I know you said your husband has got your daughter a pendant as a little gift to open, but as an added bonus what about letting your daughter pick one new song to download from Itunes each day in the run up to the Ipod arriving? I think songs are like 75p each so the maximum it will cost is �7.50. Alternatively you could give her the choice of a song a day or a one off full album (I think most are little more than �7.50-�8.00). You might have already put something like this place but it's just an idea and would give her something to look forward to each day before she gets her nano.

 

Either way I wouldn't worry too much about it, I'm sure as kids we've all had a birthday where things don't always go according to plan. She'll come around, things will get back to normal and she'll be fine once her present arrives so don't go beating yourself about it! My birthday is on December 28th and practically every year it would be my mum's fault that McDonalds wasn't open for a birthday party that day, or the swimming baths, or that it was impratical to hire a bouncy castle in winter or that heavy snow meant we couldn't actually go out anywhere at all. Bless my mum she tried so hard and now despairs because I never really want to do anything :lol:

 

I just re-read the last bit of your post again, the bit about it always being your daughter that misses out, maybe you could suggest a girly day out sometime (if you can somehow manage to wrangle it) so she gets some extra one on one time with mum?

 

Hope things get back to normal soon

 

Emily

xxx

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I just re-read the last bit of your post again, the bit about it always being your daughter that misses out, maybe you could suggest a girly day out sometime (if you can somehow manage to wrangle it) so she gets some extra one on one time with mum?

 

Spot on Emily. I truly believe that mine & S's relationship survived because we did just that. And it was fun.

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>:D<<'> >:D<<'> Viper >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

A copy of that poem would mean a lot to her, I know my daughter would love a copy of that poem too. Sometimes its all the other little things you do that are much more important than the present. Perhaps a nice journal to put it in. All girls love journals to write girly things in, and some sparkly pens and stickers to dress it up.

 

Love those poems Shell :thumbs::D

 

Love this forum, and all the people on it :wub:

 

:)>:D<<'> >:D<<'> :notworthy::thumbs:

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Viper,

the mean mum's poem just summed up me today and made me cry.

I was already having a ###### day, it's the funeral tomorrow of the baby of one of our mums from our tots group so I was already a bit fragile, then got called all the names under the sun for asking AS son to empty the dishwasher before he went out to play.

Oooh, aren't I mean and entirely unreasonable ?

No, just trying to maintain some order in the chaos that is our house.

It's out of your control when the ipod arrives, I'd be tempted to say 'well i could have got you a groovy muck coloured one in time but you asked for pink, so I thought I'd get what you actually wanted......?'

Don't worry,

 

w

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Could you start a thread with all these poems in Off Topic Shell.

 

Call it the sit and chill corner..... or Shell's poems or something :wub::) these are brilliant.

 

That way we could sit and read them - and they will be easy to find.

 

:thumbs:>:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

Fxx

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sorry i will delete them

shell

 

Sorry Shell, I think you have misunderstood what I was saying.

 

I love your poems. I wasn't suggesting they were a problem on this thread... I was asking if you could create a new thread in Off Topic as well, titled Poems etc. a lot of people love reading these types of things, and you have a lovely collection of them.

 

As people post new topics this thread would be easily lost. But, if you copy and paste all these, not delete them from here, and create a special place in Off Topic, other members would love to read them also, and it could be a little place anyone could add more poems.

 

I hope you pop those back here that you deleted, they were very good.

 

Sorry if you thought anything different was implied.

 

>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

Love Frang xx

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