Deborah 1 Report post Posted September 20, 2007 L started school in august he has settled in well and his teacher is nice. However we have noticed the flapping, rocking and the verbal aaaaa has got worse at home. The head makes me feel like a child dismisses me when i told her my concerns about it and told me they have no problems at school. we met the ot at school to day to discuess exercises and she walked out the room and sent someone else in. It is almost like she doesnt like her routine upset and we are an intrusion into the daily school life. I am sure the ot did not feel comfortable either i just dread any problems as i have already found she doesnt listen to any thing you say she just talks over you been in the job for years all that sort of thing you cant tell me nothing then the final straw came tonight when L kept saying he was dirty. I looked at him his hand clothes nothing. I told him he wasnt dirty. I asked him if he had poohed and he shouted no dirty i dont think that it is right to tell him he is dirty he wont understand that his dad is going mad saying he is going to speak to her about her attitude and telling him he is dirty oh god fireworks at home now sorry about the rant totally worried what is coming next Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted September 20, 2007 Deborah, Think you'll find this is quite common for school to say there are no problems there and make us parents feel we are making a fuss etc, trouble is our children seem to mask their feeling etc at school then we get the fall out at home. It sounds to me if your child is surpressing what ever he's feeling (and it does not have to be much, well in an NT persons eyes) and this is coming out at home where he feels safe. When my son is anxious he often complains of feeling dirty. Whilst I appreciate you feel the Head does not listen or talks over you, you need to be clear and firm. Not sure what advice to offer you, but know the others on here will come up some good suggestion. In the meantime don't be hard on yourself <'> <'> <'> Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jomica Report post Posted September 21, 2007 I think it's pretty common too. My son's school teachers - most of them, anyway - have tried to tell us over the years that there's nothing wrong and we're just over-protective parents and he needs to "grow up and behave". They - and he- are currently reaping the spoils of their misconception. They now have one very unhappy Y6 child who is almost unteachable and disruptive. I tell them he needs routine, organisation, clear instructions, etc and they respond with mutters and sighs as if I don't know what I'm saying. He mostly manages to survive the day without having a full-blown rage. However, I keep having to re-decorate my house, fill in the holes in the walls, and calm down an over-stressed, over-anxious little boy. Please think about changing schools to one that is more supportive. I didn't and I feel terrible. My son hates the place but what few friends he has are there and he doesn't want to change now. But I could and should have done it sooner. I deeply regret that now. <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deborah 1 Report post Posted September 21, 2007 Thankyou for that at least i know now it is not me i tried to phone school today about him going on about being dirty and couldnt get no sense as to why he is saying it. i told her i am not happy with her attitude and i would speak to her again when i calm down or i might say something i would regret i thought these people were suppose to be trainned in this area why do they expect our kids to behave normally when they have issues they cannot help i am bewildered and cannot understand why they work in units if they cannot cope or except and deal with our child really fed up Deborah Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wishingwell Report post Posted September 21, 2007 your hitting a brick wall talking to this women. Ask the OT to make out a written report, write to the education psychologist asking for them to intervene and help a very distressed little boy. Something is clearly not right in school and it looks like you will have to get it sorted. The head has her own way of dealing with things and clearly can't listen in an understanding manner. Writing it is sometimes easier when your feelings are running so high, and it takes very little for them to turn the blame on the parents. Write to the teacher and send a copy to the head that way they cannot say you are unreasonable, clearly point out how distraught he is at home and that you feel school is very stressful for him. Has he been diagnosed. Take care <'> <'> <'> <'> we have all at sometime been made to feel our childrens problems are of our own making. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrs fussy Report post Posted September 21, 2007 Hi I am not really any good at the giving of advice as usually only come on here to get advice. If it were me thogh i would certainly do what wishingwell advises you to do, i have took her advice on some things and found shes spot on. As far as being made to feel it is all your fault i can certainly sympathise with you, but get up[ dust yourself off and do what you know is best. The head at this school sounds like the one at my sons old school in the end we gave up and moved him mainly because i had no energy left to fight, but i think if you take wishingwells advice you wont go far wrong contact the ed psych as she suggests. (i wish i had have). Good luck and well im thinking of you take care Mrs F x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
