I don't want to go to uni tomorrow

[Mumble]

Yesterday I sent an email to my research group explaining that I was AS, what this meant to me as a person etc...

 

It took me a day of pondering to press the send button and was followed by a night of panic and sleeplessness as to whether I had done the right thing.

 

I guess I wasn't sure what sort of response I would get which it why I was so worried - I have a need to be in control of situations.

 

Well a few people on the list of 14 that I sent it to have replied - but the people who have replied have one thing in common - they're the academics that I would suggest probably are only vaguely aware of my existance and probably not even sure who I am - although their research interests come under the same broad field there's very little overlap in what we're doing.

 

The people who do know me more haven't responded - these are people who have known me for 3 years - are they angry that I hadn't told them sooner? - I couldn't have told them much sooner as I was only diagnosed this year.

 

What worries me most is that I sent it to two students - the only two students who ever talk to me and one of whom I would say I get (got?) on quite well with in that he was interested in my work and would always work with me in group situations when we had to pair up and I was out on my own when everyone got into groups. We often email each other and he always replies straight away. I know he's around because before 'the email' I sent him one about a uni specific programme problem I was having and he replied almost instantly. But he's made no response to my 'disclosure'.

 

I have to go into uni tomorrow as I have to see my supervisor - normally I would go in earlier and get some work done in the student room - but I'm too scared. I'm scared even to go in because all the people I sent the email to have offices on the same corridor to my supervisor - what if I see one of them and they say something? - I won't know how to respond.

 

I'm stupid - I should have thought this through before pressing 'send'. I can't go and unsend now and I really don't know what to do. Uni was the one place I really felt comfortable - now I'm too scared to go in tomorrow but I have to see my supervisor and I can't let him down and I just don't know what to do. :tearful:

[allie]

Mumble, I'm sure you said in your other post that your supervisor was supporting you with this. Don't be so hard on yourself - you are not stupid!!!! Maybe some of the people are unsure how to respond - prehaps they are a bit nervous that they may say the wrong thing etc. At the end of the day you haven't changed since the last time you worked with them you've just told them something that will hopefully help them to understand you better and help you all work better as a group.

 

Good luck for tomorrow, hope it goes well.

<'>

[llisa32]

Hi Mumble <'> <'>

 

I think some of the people that you sent the mail to would perhaps feel that sending you an email response was too impersonal...they probably do not realise that you are sitting by your pc worrying about their responses - it may not have come as such a huge surprise to them..therefore they are not understanding how big a deal their response is to you - that make sense?

 

That for me explains why the email responses you have had have come from those that you have hardly any interaction with currently - they can send an impersonal email response.

 

Please don't be worried about going in...you've totally done nothing wrong and you should act how you always have done - if anyone says anything I'm sure it will be in an interested/concerned manner, and you should thank them for their interest - ice then broken.

 

I am positive nothing you have disclosed is going to affect any of your relationships with these people in a negative way, hold your head up high, be proud you've informed them and try and be open if anyone does want to ask you questions/find out a little more etc - it will be all good in the end. Have you mailed your sup and told him how worried you are? - I think you could do with his reasurrance at the moment

[Clare63]

Try not to worry Mumble, just think how long it took you to prepare your email and send it, maybe others are taking their time to prepare a reply its not really the type of email that someone might say "oh thanks for letting me know"

You cannot afford another sleepless night, so please don't beat yourself up about this, people will response in their own time and be prepared that some may not reply at all.....they can be a funny lot those NT's contray to belief often stumped for words.

Take care <'> <'> <'>

 

Clare x x x

[Bagpuss]

Mumble, if you'd sent me a similar email, I wouldn't want to reply immediately or via email. I'd want time to let the news sink in, and talk to you about it personally. I know it must be so difficult for you not to "know" what the reaction of the other peeps are, but I'm sure those that you felt comfortable with before, will take it in their stride <'>

[Tally]

I don't think they will be angry that you didn't tell them sooner. They are probably thinking about what to say, or maybe they would prefer to say it in person instead of in an email. The people who don't know you so well might find it easier to reply because it does not matter to them so much. Maybe people are nervous about seeing you as well because they aren't sure what to say. You could always raise the issue first and ask, "did you get my email?" or, "I would have said before, but I only got the diagnosis earlier this year and I didn't realise how different I was until recently." (that certainly is true for me anyway)

 

Go and see your supervisor like you have planned. Maybe you can plan some things you can say if you see any of the people you have emailed.

 

I still think you have done the right thing, and there's no indication anyone is angry with you or doesn't like you. They are probably just nervous about saying the wrong thing.

[Mumble]

:tearful: I just sent an email to my supervisor to tell him that I'm too scared to go in tomorrow.

 

I've managed to scare my self away from the only thing I really enjoyed. Why did I have to go and change things that were ok as they were?

[llisa32]

What have you done with 'Bouncy' mumble? <'>

 

 

Honestly, if we all felt it was a big huge wrong idea we would have said so yesterday...honest <'>

 

You're nervous and understandably given theres no 'predictable' outcome, but it WILL be fine <'>

 

Please please don't get yourself all worked up and worried...like Tally said, people are most likly worried about making sure they say the right thing to you, and want to make sure they give you the right impression - you really don't need to worry about the other way round.

 

Some change we have to go with to move forward a little...this is one of those times <'> <'>

 

You can have my stash of choccies cos I'm all filled up after today!

[pearl]

Just wanted to add my support along with the others, Mumble, theyve said it all really.

[Clare63]

Mumble,

Hope you are feeling a little better about this as the evening has progressed and I look forwarding to hearing tomorrow of how well uni went. The way I see it is that it can only improve things, what bad can become of this, appart from all the worrying you are doing.

Come on Mumble, bounce back we are all here for you.

<'>

Clare x x x

[mumble_rocks]

<'> (Aspie Style Hug!)

 

Heya Mumble,

 

Those NT's dont worry about responses as much as us lot! Its the little things such as being late that bother us and dont have any effect on them! There well weird I reacon! (No offence anyone, I just dont get you!)

 

There properly thinking, what can I say to make it write? What can I do to make it better? There are proberly waiting to see you, and then start asking questions, this is not nessarly a problem as there are only asking as there are interested and want to make life easier for you!

 

There also may not be replying because there feel that there dont know what to say (have I said that already?)Opps

 

Come on Mumble deep down you know you have made the right desision and at the moment it seems you havent but in the long run when you start not acting the way as them, there will know why!!

 

Mumble_rocks

(Lol I just thought my name suggests that YOU rock!) Thats very true!

[Bullet]

They won't be angry or upset with you.

[Frangipani]

Yesterday I sent an email to my research group explaining that I was AS, what this meant to me as a person etc...

 

It took me a day of pondering to press the send button and was followed by a night of panic and sleeplessness as to whether I had done the right thing.

 

I guess I wasn't sure what sort of response I would get which it why I was so worried - I have a need to be in control of situations.

 

Well a few people on the list of 14 that I sent it to have replied - but the people who have replied have one thing in common - they're the academics that I would suggest probably are only vaguely aware of my existance and probably not even sure who I am - although their research interests come under the same broad field there's very little overlap in what we're doing.

 

The people who do know me more haven't responded - these are people who have known me for 3 years - are they angry that I hadn't told them sooner? - I couldn't have told them much sooner as I was only diagnosed this year.

 

What worries me most is that I sent it to two students - the only two students who ever talk to me and one of whom I would say I get (got?) on quite well with in that he was interested in my work and would always work with me in group situations when we had to pair up and I was out on my own when everyone got into groups. We often email each other and he always replies straight away. I know he's around because before 'the email' I sent him one about a uni specific programme problem I was having and he replied almost instantly. But he's made no response to my 'disclosure'.

 

I have to go into uni tomorrow as I have to see my supervisor - normally I would go in earlier and get some work done in the student room - but I'm too scared. I'm scared even to go in because all the people I sent the email to have offices on the same corridor to my supervisor - what if I see one of them and they say something? - I won't know how to respond.

 

I'm stupid - I should have thought this through before pressing 'send'. I can't go and unsend now and I really don't know what to do. Uni was the one place I really felt comfortable - now I'm too scared to go in tomorrow but I have to see my supervisor and I can't let him down and I just don't know what to do. :tearful:

 

 

Hi Mumble <'> Please don't worry... you are worrying too much. It's natural for anyone to jump to all these conclusions - naturally you would feel anxious. Be gentle with yourself.

 

Just think of these people the way you always have in the past. I guarantee they are looking forward to seeing you in person to thank you - for sharing this information with them. They will feel honoured that you trusted them enough to tell them.

 

You put that smile back on your dial and enjoy a relaxing walk,or bubble bath. Or better still some retail therapy. This is a good positive step. Perhaps they are reading up on it more too... <'> <'>

 

<'> <'>

love

Frang xx

[Bagpuss]

How are you doing today Mumble? Thinking of you x

[Mumble]

How are you doing today Mumble?

Not so good. Was going to go in about an hour and a half before meeting supervisor and doing some work in the student room and see how it went. I chickened out and stayed on the bus past my stop and went window shopping and made it to college with just enough time to eat my sandwich alone and go to my meeting.

 

After my meeting walked down the stairs past a woman I'd sent the mail to - a woman who always talks to me if only to say hello how are you - but it seemed that today when she saw me she suddenly had very important business to attend to very quickly in the opposite direction, did an about turn on the stairs and ran off (ok, walked off very quickly), head down as if I could kill her with a aspie lazer stare.

 

And then I went into the student room where one of the students I had sent it to was - the only student I could vaguely call a friend. Seemed fine - he was having a conversation with a new student and I sat down and had a cup of tea with them - he was including me in the conversation as normal, all seemed fine - and then this new student had to go to a meeting, and the student I'd told couldn't have run out of the room fast enough - like he couldn't stand to be alone in the same room as me. When I left I went and said goodbye to him as usual - he didn't respond - not as usual. So know I have 0 people to share my time with at uni.

 

The main test I suppose will come on Monday when I have a meeting with 'the 14' - I suppose it can't go worse than today.

[llisa32]

Hi Mumble <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Us 'NT''s are a funny bunch to understand eh!....but...if you had had a day where that happened last week would you have thought anything of it? - perhaps not...today you were expecting all sorts of reactions and may have perceived what was normal for those folk today as opposed to a 'reaction' to your mail.

 

I 100 percent think the following:

 

1. Those that have not made a direct referral to your email may well be 'lost for words', it happens, and it will pass. I think this is where your sup can step in - your colleagues may well be 'scared' to mention your mail and your sup needs to tell them thats it's absolutely fine to acknowledge and ask questions if they want to. Sometimes people are 'lost' for words and don't want to say the wrong thing so say nothing - it's really annoying, but it's usually just simply that, rather than anyone harbouring horrid thoughts or feelings.

 

2. You have definately done the right thing and you will not be 'alienated' or any other horrible thing - send your sup a note and ask that he contact the group before the group meeting - or...would you be able to cope with him mentioning your email in front of you and the group? - I'm just thinking this would be a good way to break the ice if you think you can bear it, and would allow people to ask you questions if they wanted to but you have sup there as a 'safety net'.

 

I'm really sorry you haven't gained the response you wanted today, but I'm sure it will come <'>

Edited September 25, 2007 by llisa32

[allie]

<'> <'> <'>

[pearl]

<'> Mumble <'>

"aspie lazer stare" - love it! Is it like this?

Try not to read too much into it. Embarrassment is default mode for british peeps, after all. Give them time.

[Mumble]

Thanks all <'> I probably am reading too much into it - that's what I'm trying to say to myself. At least no-one has been openly hostile, that's got to be a positive I do think you're all right that people are doing 'the embarrassed'. It's very difficult not understanding normal reactions to something that is far from an everyday occurance anyway so I don't have scripts of how to expect people to behave for me to draw on.

 

I've emailed my sup and asked whether he thought sending a covering, ok to acknowledge, type email would be a good idea - I think it will help because Monday worries me.

 

Pearl - you should watch that aspie laser stare - it's leathal you know, particularly in untrained hands - I can 'get' people from as far as 500yards - it's rather like an infra-red triffid

[jb1964]

Take care Mumble,

 

I'm sure some of them just need time. It's like lots of things unfortunately, sometimes people just don't know what to say - also they may not exactly know what it means and want to do some research of their own first etc.

 

People do respond differently - I know it's not the same but the example I always think is when someone I know has sad news - I cannot say nothing - whereas my husband cannot say anything - he says finding the right words is difficult - I say finding no words looks like you don't care.

 

Please don't feel you've lost everything by telling everyone - there will be something positive for you out of this - it's just taking longer than you'd like.

 

Chin up,

Jb

[Bard]

I think you did the right thing, and I admire you for being brave enough to press 'send'

People will very quickly come to realise that nothing about you has changed. You are the same person that you always were, but now they know a little bit more about why.

It takes time for people to assimmilate new information, and I think those that have mentioned the 'embarrassment factor' and not saying things for fear of getting it wrong are probably correct.

Just keep being you, and things will work out. Use your supervisor, he gives you good advice.

You could carry around a pack or two of jaffa cakes, to reward those who come and talk to you.

<'> <'> <'>

[Clare63]

Oh Mumble, try not to read too much into this. As said above we are a funny lot and through embarassment "close down" and say nothing, Jb is so right. Perhaps you are looking too hard for a reaction from these people and then end up seeing things which aren't really there and analyse their behaviour making assumptions.

 

Take care, tomorrow is another day ..... <'>

 

Clare x

[bid]

From my experience, NTers find it hard to raise the subject, without it in anyway being a 'hostile' reaction.

 

My eldest brother hasn't said anything to me, neither has my SIL, and my brother won't even talk to my mum about it.

 

We went to stay with my other brother during the summer, and you could feel the subject was hovering around us, so in the end my DH just said let's get this out of the way, and we talked for ages over quite a lot of wine

 

At work, I know the nursing team have been told, but no-one has said anything...

 

At first I felt quite awkward, and sometimes I wonder if they don't believe it and are watching me to see if I'm behaving 'autisticallly/autisticly' (how do you spell this, neither way looks right!!), but I expect I will stop feeling like this.

 

On balance, I'm glad I told work, and the colleagues I work with closely have been great.

 

I would guess that because you don't work with these people particularly closely, they are just diffident about broaching the subject. You could either bring it up like my DH did, or just leave things like I have done.

 

Please don't feel bad <'>

 

Bid

Edited September 26, 2007 by bid

[Mumble]

Thanks Bid - I'd wondered how you were gettng on after your 'revelation'

 

in the end my DH just said let's get this out of the way, and we talked for ages over quite a lot of wine

How about this for a plan - after the Monday meeting they all go to the pub - I'm always invited but have always said no - far too much 'social' for my liking. How about a)I shock them by saying 'yes' if they offer and then b)say, 'right, one question, one drink' - I get merry and 'talkative' quite easily (and normally regret it hence avoiding the wine in the first place) but it might get some of their questions out in the open.

 

I wonder if they don't believe it and are watching me to see if I'm behaving 'autistically'

This is exactly how I feel - I'd written something about my hand-flapping in the piece because it's obvious/wierd (in a not-NT way) and I was convinced the guy who was fine whilst others were there was watching my hands the whole time waiting for the penguin impression - but that was probably my interpretation.

 

Well my sups agreed to some sort of follow up from him which will be really helpful because Monday is going to be awkward - and I think I'll make sure that I go in with him to the meeting on Monday so I don't feel quite so much like I'm opening the door to the firing squad. We're going to have a chat later in the week - oh dear, I know how these 'Mumble chats' have a way of going . . .

[shars]

<'> (Aspie Style Hug!)

 

Heya Mumble,

 

Those NT's dont worry about responses as much as us lot! Its the little things such as being late that bother us and dont have any effect on them! There well weird I reacon! (No offence anyone, I just dont get you!)

 

There properly thinking, what can I say to make it write? What can I do to make it better? There are proberly waiting to see you, and then start asking questions, this is not nessarly a problem as there are only asking as there are interested and want to make life easier for you!

 

There also may not be replying because there feel that there dont know what to say (have I said that already?)Opps

 

Come on Mumble deep down you know you have made the right desision and at the moment it seems you havent but in the long run when you start not acting the way as them, there will know why!!

 

Mumble_rocks

(Lol I just thought my name suggests that YOU rock!) Thats very true!

 

 

Never be scared mumble, often we get ourselves into mad situations then hide under the duvet and think oh no o what the ###### have i done this time.But what i have learnt is that life is ia great tapestry we follow,

[shars]

sorry cut of by technology,

Dont worry accept you,it could be worse, I think never walk into a room with your head down because that says im inferiour,your never that,what itoes it say is the chips are down I love this one I think, vinagars and the sea side.We dont get it so what.Anyway dont get anxious rejoice in your wonderful self.Your great AS is a blessing

 

Sharsxoxoxoxoxo

[Frangipani]

Hi Mumble,

 

You also have to remember the general population of NT'ers do not know anything about Autism. I would say not through them being ignorant - but if you did a Poll most would generalise Autism as the Lower functioning types. They simply don't have the knowledge that NT parents of ASD kids have. They think "Rainman" for instance. Because that may be their only exposure to Autism - and thats only if they watched the film. Asperger's what's that? IYSWIM!!

 

Thinking back - I would have behaved the same until I was in the right head space or frame of mind to sit and chat - I would be more worried about saying the wrong thing - foot in mouth disease. NT'ers do it all the time especilly if they are the impulsive type - speak without thinking.

 

Your friends are obviously needing time to absorb and understand it - so they don't say something stupid - unintentionally. In their time they will want to talk to you about it. Join them for a coffee in your break - give them the opportunity to ask lots of questions - to help them fill in the blanks. I imagine they feel embarrassed by not knowing what to say.

 

<'> <'> <'>

Fxx

Edited September 26, 2007 by Frangipani

[Mumble]

Your friends are obviously needing time to absorb and understand it - so they don't say something stupid - unintentionally. In their time they will want to talk to you about it. Join them for a coffee in your break - give them the opportunity to ask lots of questions - to help them fill in the blanks. I imagine they feel embarrassed by not knowing what to say.

Thanks Frang and Shars

 

I do think it's this embarassed silence what not thing that I don't do - I just go for silence most of the time :lol: I like 'foot in mouth' disease - although perhaps a bit too apt for these parts at the mo

 

I guess giving them chances to talk (and boy can I talk about AS!!!) and get over their embassessed silence has to be the way forward - there isn't anything to be embarassed about - AS isn't some 'disease' I caught from doing whatever and the more open we can all be the easier things will be for everyone.

[llisa32]

Hiya....theres your plan then....couple of glasses of White wine

 

And then talk to your hearts content !

 

I think definately a good idea, sending lots of positive thoughts and choccie cake your way <'>

[Mumble]

I think definately a good idea, sending lots of positive thoughts and choccie cake your way <'>

Hmm - can you resend the choccie cake please? I've refreshed my inbox several times (and finally clearer out all the clutter) but the cake has not arrived I think the anti-spam goblins may have got it - anything that isn't spam they eat you know . . .

[madme]

Hope it goes ok. All the comments above seem to me on the right track. Don't drink too much- you need to stay in control! Let us know.

[Mumble]

'Nice Guy' isn't coping. I'm not coping with him not coping. I tried to make ammends for freaking him out with my email - thought I'd offer to make tea/coffee and see if we could chat but he bolted it - he can't stand to be alone in the same room as me - I don't know why - I don't know if he's frightened of me (well we all know how us AS types can be with our 'as featured on BBC Crimewatch' Handy-Andy bricks and Aspie Stares), worried about upsetting me, just has no idea what to say . . . but unless we can find a way into a conversation about this I can't know and try to resolve things. My supervisor thinks I need to give him time - but I've seen the guy three times since the email and everytime it feels as if we're more and more apart and the invisible wall between us is stronger and more insurmountable. I know I'm not a talkative person and I can quite easily cope with just having two students who talk to me, but I currently feel like a complete outsider; like I don't belong. All I want is for things to be back as they were; to have someone to share coffee time with rather than feeling isolated within people.

 

I'm absolutely freaking out about Monday - my supervisor understands that I'm 'worried' - I don't know how to put a label to how I feel but worried doesn't cover it. I want things to go back to how they were: I want to be thought of as wierd Mumble, not Asperger Mumble who no one knows quite how to 'be' around and where I now don't know how to be around the people who know I'm AS Mumble because I don't know what they think about me being AS Mumble.

 

One of the profs send a response to my email and I don't have a clue how to handle it - rather than the thank-you short type the other few who replied did she went on about unintentionally upsetting me and apologising profusely for the things I find difficult and about making things difficult - I don't want apologies or to be seen as difficult - I didn't mean the email to come across as me blaming people, don't want my AS excused. All I intended to do was give people the information they needed to understand me. It was supposed to make things easier; to make me feel more relaxed around the people I come into regular contact with. It's done the opposite; no one will talk to me, I feel like I'm being observed from afar and that I've lost the one thing I love and the one place I've always been truely happy.

[llisa32]

Hiya <'>

 

 

'Nice Guy' isn't coping. I'm not coping with him not coping. I tried to make ammends for freaking him out with my email - thought I'd offer to make tea/coffee and see if we could chat but he bolted it - he can't stand to be alone in the same room as me - I don't know why - I don't know if he's frightened of me (well we all know how us AS types can be with our 'as featured on BBC Crimewatch' Handy-Andy bricks and Aspie Stares), worried about upsetting me, just has no idea what to say . . . but unless we can find a way into a conversation about this I can't know and try to resolve things. My supervisor thinks I need to give him time - but I've seen the guy three times since the email and everytime it feels as if we're more and more apart and the invisible wall between us is stronger and more insurmountable

 

I really think 'Nice Guy' is struggling to think of what to say, and possibly..as you were previously quite pally....he might bit feeling a little 'put out' that he didn't know...he needs to get over that it thats the case...if he does'nt then maybe he's not so 'nice'. My first bet is that he's simply not knowing what to say and scared incase he has to hear about 'feeling's etc' - not all blokeys are very good at that stuff and he might be one of them. Hopefully Monday after the pub and after your sup has had a word will sort this out. <'>

 

I'm absolutely freaking out about Monday - my supervisor understands that I'm 'worried' - I don't know how to put a label to how I feel but worried doesn't cover it. I want things to go back to how they were: I want to be thought of as wierd Mumble, not Asperger Mumble

 

No you don't....you want to be known as 'Mumble' <'> What you do want is for this really uncomfy feeling to go away and be back where you were before - thats completely understandable, but what if after a couple of weeks 'uncomfy' follows a whole heap of months of 'much better' - that would surely be preferable.

 

 

One of the profs send a response to my email and I don't have a clue how to handle it - rather than the thank-you short type the other few who replied did she went on about unintentionally upsetting me and apologising profusely for the things I find difficult and about making things difficult - I don't want apologies or to be seen as difficult - I didn't mean the email to come across as me blaming people, don't want my AS excused.

 

Now this lady has gone the opposite direction to 'nice blokey' and in an effort to show you how understanding etc she is may have been a bit effusive. But...she is showing you that she cares about your feelings...she is not feeling sorry for you or 'allowing' you any sort of cop out on the basis of AS - of this I am quite positive.

 

Send this woman a note back...thank her for hers, say it was lovely of her to reply, joke that you haven't kept a log book of previous upsets or something! , and tell her you look fwd to seeing her/working with her..whatever...whenever that might be. I think thats then 1 down with a positive ending.

 

I know it's really hard at the moment, but this will work out - we all know the cheeky bouncy Mumble - and so will they soon ! <'>

[wishingwell]

I didn't mean the email to come across as me blaming people, don't want my AS excused. All I intended to do was give people the information they needed to understand me. It was supposed to make things easier; to make me feel more relaxed around the people I come into regular contact with. It's done the opposite; no one will talk to me, I feel like I'm being observed from afar and that I've lost the one thing I love and the one place I've always been truely happy.

 

Mumble send him another e-mail quoting exactly what you have quoted here. Just copy, sign, send and wait on his response.

 

Hoping things improve. <'> <'> <'>

[llisa32]

Thats a really good idea....he's obviously not coping with the chance of a 'face to face' chat...and with your email your cards are on the table

[oxgirl]

Hiya Mumble,

 

I'm just wondering if it might be possible that you're over-thinking and over-analysing the situation? <'> I don't know, but it could be that you're worrying a bit too much about other people's reactions and maybe reading into their actions things that might not be there and that in reality they might just be getting on with their day and not realizing how awkward you are feeling.

 

I only say this because I can get quite paranoid about other people's reactions towards me sometimes and I convince myself that they've deliberately snubbed me and then I fret and worry about what I might have done to upset them or why they might not like me and it takes my hub to make me realize that they're reaction has probably got absolutely nothing to do with me at all. They're probably having a bad day or thinking about some other problem or incident going on for them at the time and not giving me or my thoughts a second thought, if you see what I mean.

 

My advice would be to try and put the email behind you now, what is done is done. You've told them what you wanted to tell them and I guess it's up to them to do what they want with that information, whether it's give it a lot of thought and consideration or note it as interesting information and then file it away and move on, etc. Go in there now with your head up high and try and carry on as normal and if people want to talk to you about it then fine, but if they don't then maybe that's okay too. If they see that you're just carrying on as usual then they'll relax maybe and will carry on as usual too.

 

Take care and hope it goes okay on Monday. <'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[pearl]

<'> Mumble <'>

llisa got there before me - wot she said.

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

i 2nd llisa

see what i would instanty be doin if it were me is wracking my brain cells ( i know few and far atween!!!)

trying to work out if i could have offended u in some way some things never change huh

maybe they are too

dont worry, hard i know but try!

 

x

 

baking again lya

[Mumble]

Thanks everyone - my supervisor suggested another less formal email mid-next week - as you all say, this is probably the way to go.

 

I think it is the ruined relationship with 'nice guy' that is upsetting me most - I'd assumed he would be OK, and because he's not, I'm freaking about how those who I really didn't know how they would react are reacting - does that make sense?

 

 

baking again lya

we'd best organise another meetup then so I can munch my way through your baking (or share it with the squirrels!)

[Mumble]

Send this woman a note back...thank her for hers, say it was lovely of her to reply, joke that you haven't kept a log book of previous upsets or something! , and tell her you look fwd to seeing her/working with her..whatever...whenever that might be. I think thats then 1 down with a positive ending.

Done