Flora Report post Posted September 27, 2007 It's absolutely awful when two sets of people clash over opposing ideas. the worst part about this thread though is that (not naming any names), and this is just an observation, (I haven't expressed a view on whether there should be a sub forum or not so don't have an axe to grind regarding the topic of discussion) is that most of the people on here are quite able to accept another's point of view, but there are those who get upset if anyone disagrees with their views and then use having AS as an excuse for being upset, and I'm sorry but which ever way you look at it that IS emotional blackmail and as such has no place on ANY forum. There is no definitive way for any human being to be; but using emotional blackmail when things get a bit heated is far too manipulative for my liking, whether AS or not. I don't put up with that from any of my children and maybe it's a personal thing to me, but it is one type of behaviour that will always evoke a negative response from me. I agree with baddad, the tone of this thread is not nice, but this is happening time and time again (I don't always jump in like I did on this one) and to be honest I'm finding it really irritating. So I'm sorry baddad for jumping in with both feet yet again, but I really am finding it difficult to 'sit on my hands' when I see this happening. Flora Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted September 27, 2007 I don't even mind if the consensus is against Tally's suggestion, it was just the fact that I felt it was almost dismissed out of hand without any real consideration of something some members might find very helpful. And with that, byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Bid Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
llisa32 Report post Posted September 27, 2007 Can everyone agree to a 'truce'?. <'> I've only been posting on here since May this year and have found each and everyone who's posted on this thread today to be supportive and helpful, and if I think back to all the various threads on here since May, everyone on this thread has equally been supportive of each other in giving or receiving advice <'> For me it very much does not matter if you are an adult aspie posting, an nt adult posting, with kids/without - makes no odds - the nice thing is the diversity and the general amount of respect shown for each others feelings. Yeah sometimes people can say things 'bluntly', others can equally sometimes 'beat around the bush a little', but the main thing is the 'support'. I have felt that everyone is here 'together' whatever the reason they came...if any of us run out of ideas on how to support someone, someone else will usually 'find a man who can' or think of ways to help. I think we're kinda losing sight of that a little now and it's a shame to see everyone getting so upset If theres a way to support Tally's suggestion that doesn't change the 'feel' os this forum then lets give it a go, the way I read most of the earlier threads was that a few of us found this forum great as it was, and there is a 'fear' that any change might affect how it 'feels' - hope that makes sense. Lisa <'> Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
badonkadonk Report post Posted September 27, 2007 Flora, I'm really sorry that's how you feel. I wish you would name names though, I know I'm weird, but like for example Baddad has a problem with what Neil put and he said so, so I know not to get worried about that (I think?) because he would have quoted me if I had said something that really offended (I hope?) or maybe I'll be dealt with later when he has more time I'm just worried now that you think I'm emotionally blackmailing people. I only think this because I'm someone else who is AS who is posting on this thread. I don't want you to think I'm having a go I'm not, I'm not upset and this post isn't as much about how I feel more my worries about how I might be making you feel....if that makes any sense whatsoever I might just be being paranoid or I might be the name you didn't want to name, and I'm not expecting you to post back who you are upset by, I just worry that I've done something wrong or have been misinterpreted and I can't put it right because I don't know for sure that I've done anything. Again I hope that makes sense. I really don't understand how it's gone from a discussion about sub folders to people getting really upset, I feel like I've missed a few posts here and there. What Neil said about the patting on the head wasn't very nice, I can't apologise for him or make him even, all I can try and say is he's not a bad bloke really (You see now I'm worrying about whether this is emotional blackmail or not me saying Neil isn't really a monster?) I wasn't upset with anyone either time I posted and when I gave my possible reasons for having a sub-folder I didn't mean it to come across as if I was attacking people, I said that in my first post. Ever get that feeling that when you first write something it makes sense, you hit post and then you see people's replies and wonder if your post has somehow been turned into another language and back again and the translation was wrong? This happens to me everytime I post Emily xxx Lisa just read your post and that's what I'm trying to say I just can't seem to say it! It's what I was trying to say initially, that I was frightened of what effect the sub-folder malarky might have while at the same time understanding that there might be things that adults on the spectrum want to say but feel a bit frightened to incase they cause world war 3....but as per usual I turned it into a big long ramble where all my meanings were lost and jumbled Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted September 27, 2007 if that makes any sense whatsoever Nope. Again I hope that makes sense. Again, nope. Neil isn't really a monster Remember that thread on getting old and needing glasses? Great post Lisa :notworthy: I lost all sense on this thread back at post number 3. Oh . . . that'll be my post then *bounces off to find other places to insert randomness* :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted September 27, 2007 I can see this getting a bit heated, so I have decided to close it while everyone calms down. It may reopen it in future, but it will stay closed for the time being. Simon Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 27, 2007 (edited) *bounces off to find other places to insert randomness* More randomness please - this thread needs it! I HATE closing threads... but do you think this one needs to be, or should we try to get it back on an even keel? I'm mostly concerned now for our newer members, who - as lisa has indicated, might find this whole thread more disturbing than us established old troopers... Perhaps we could let the dust settle and come back to Tally's original question later on tonight (?) Sorry if that sounds a bit 'weedy' - but i do think the original question is a good one for discussion if we can get back there L&P BD (walks up steps, kneels, places head on block, gulps, puts latest Jack Reacher novel in basket for reading later...) sorry mossgrove - just seen the above... it wasn't there when i stated - honest Love, Peace, Randomness and 'Wibble' Edited September 27, 2007 by baddad Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
