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Bagpuss

Is it a bad sign....

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We are currently looking at a special school as a possible placement for our dd in Sept. We've been to view it, and thought it would suit her needs. However, since we've tried to arrange a visit with dd, our calls are not returned. We've rang three times now, on three separate days and spoken to the secretary, requesting a time to visit, and although the HT or DH is supposed to be ringing us back, no one has. I'm beginnning to get bad vibes about it, and wonder if in the future we need to speak to them regarding dd, is this the response we will get. Am I reading too much into it or is this the norm?

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I have to say i would be concerend too. I like to know i can ring ds1 school and speak to someone at any time if im worried about something or even just to check he is ok if he has had a bad morning. Maybe they are just very busy at the mo?? I hope they get back to you soon. >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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I wouldn't read too much into it at the moment (regarding the school's efficience in contacting parents) as your dd doesn't yet attend the school.

 

My suspicious and cynical mind would probably be wondering if the LEA had somehow cottoned on and had maybe interfered. Perhaps they've asked the school to let them know when parents make enquiries. But like I said, that's just my suspicious mindset!

 

Flora x

ps.. hope you hear from them soon. It's horrible when you're waiting to here from people and you end up feeling like you're stalking them when you keep ringing because they haven't rang you back.

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I'm with Flora, Bagpuss, I would try not to panic too much at this stage. Could be they're so busy being wonderful with the children they have with them at the moment or could be a temporary secretary 'cos the usual one is off sick or something like that.

 

I'd go with your original instincts, if you loved what you saw of the school in action, then try and hold on to that picture for now and see what happens.

 

Hope you get that appointment soon and that faith is restored. >:D<<'>

 

~ Mel ~

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Had a v similar experience trying to arrange home care for mum, Baggy. The only preferred provider in the area so no choice. I phoned SIX times one week!

However now I've met up with the lady I feel happy-ish & prepared to give it a go. She's just v disorganised. Maybe someone at the school is the same?

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Thanks all >:D<<'>

 

Lya, thanks for the suggestion hun, I've not emailed because the prospectus advises to ring to arrange a visit, so I'm not convinced an email would be responded to. I'm wondering if maybe the school is v. busy, or the secretary is abit disorganised, but still feeling alittle unsure about it tbh. We had asked if we could take dd in tomorrow (asked on Monday), but they said they were too busy and it would have to be one day next week. So DH has rang Tues, Wed and today asking if he could arrange a visit next week....but just getting told the HT or Deputy will ring us back. I'm thinking if dd does get a place, and we need to speak to HT or Deputy for any reason, will we be left waiting days for a response, which really concerns me. I'm not feeling very confident about it, and wonder if this may be a sign of things to come :unsure: Of course, they could ring first thing in the morning, full of apologies, and I'll look like a daft so and so for ever being worried :rolleyes::rolleyes:

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I'd be worried too Bagpuss...they are either really 'busy' or very disorganised...neither of which fills you with confidence which is what you want when planning for a new school.

 

Hopefully they'll come up trumps with a good excuse for not ringing you back by tomorrow >:D<<'>

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Thanks Lisa >:D<<'> The other thing which worries me, is that with dd being autistic, preparation is the key.....and it is all coming across as a bit higgledy piggledy.....does that make sense? :unsure: Her annual review is on the 15th........I've not even filled any of the paperwork out yet, waiting for dd to visit school, and monitor how she responds. I'm really uneasy about a school, which doesn't contact you back when you've left three messages. How would they handle her transfer to school, if a simple visit is proving to be a logistical nightmare? Hmmmm, dunno, jury's still out me thinks.......hope they do contact us tomorrow, and alay our fears :unsure:

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I can see why they're making you nervous and I think you're right....unless they manage to make you feel a whole heap 'comfier' (dunno if thats good spelling!) pretty quickly maybe seek out some alternatives if possible - at least just to make you feel a bit better - progress stored an all that :)

 

Hope something happens soon >:D<<'>

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There could be a valid reason. I would not base a decision on this, but I would keep it in the back of my mind.

 

It is the time of year for reviews and decisions on placements - they will probably have LOTS of parents wanting to visit, and these visits do take up a lot of time. Lots of schools limit visits to only one day per week, as they do disrupt the children/teaching otherwise.

 

I would write a polite e-mail, explaining why you would like to visit before the Review meeting.

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Ok, I'm about to look a complete plonker...deep breaths Baggy.......... :rolleyes:

 

Had a chat with DH this morning, re the special school and no calls back, and he suggested we either ring one more time or pop down. Thought it best to give them another bell, so he gets the number from his diary and rings. A lady answers, and he goes thru all the rigmoroll of what's been happening, and she says "I'm sorry, I can't help you, I'm the cook, you've dialled the kitchen number, please ring the main office" :lol::lol: He says "but this is the number I've been ringing all week"........."Oh, you must of been talking to the catering staff" she said :o:lol: So I went and got the prospectus, he rings the number on the front, the secretary answers, he explains what's happened, she says can your wife and dd come in on Tuesday morning, he said yes.....

 

All sorted :lol::lol::oops:

 

 

Then...........the EP rang, asking if we wanted him to see dd before review, and asking what our general views were re placement next Sept. We hit him with our plans of special school. Unsure he'll back us up, he said his only concern would be that dd is very bright. So we outlined why we felt Special School would meet her needs better.

 

Then............the teacher of the support base at her present school rang (the support base is where we've been told the staff at the school feel she should be placed next Sept), she said the annual review now can't take place on the 15th, as dd's teacher can't make it, and neither can LEA. LE

A have never attended an annual review we've had, infact it's usually just us and teacher. It's been rescheduled, to 5th November. I'm very very scared now............me thinks we will be sat with lots of peeps, including the teacher of the support base, LEA, EP etc all arguing that dd is too bright to attend a special school. The teacher of the support base also mentioned she'd spoken with EP after he'd spoken to us....unsure if it was to discuss our plans or to arrrange to visit dd (although don't know why he'd arrange visit with this particular teacher :unsure: , rather than dd's teacher). Maybe it's because the teacher of the support base is also the new SENCO. :unsure:

Edited by Bagpuss

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Glad you got the visit sorted, hope that goes well. Haha, all that worrying for nothing, eh! :lol:

Sorry to hear the review has been put back, just more time to get anxious about it, isn't it. Hope it goes well. At least if there are lots of people there then you'll be able to put your point across to all of them in one go.

Good luck with it. >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

~ Mel ~

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Think of the new date as a positve , it gives you more time to look around. Id check the internet see whats available in your area. They wont tell you so its up to you. Would a dual placement be of any use to you?

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Bagpus, how come the catering staff didn't say who they were???? :lol::lol:

 

sounds par for the course with the ep's response and the delaying of the review meeting.

 

On the plus side it gives you more time to gather your evidence together of why the base can't meet her needs and why the special school can. Remember when there's contention over which placement, it's not the 'best' placement that wins, you have to prove that what's on offer isn't suitable. So you've got a month to go through each placement with a fine tooth comb and show why one is more suitable than the other.

 

good luck >:D<<'>

 

flora X

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On the plus side it gives you more time to gather your evidence together of why the base can't meet her needs and why the special school can. Remember when there's contention over which placement, it's not the 'best' placement that wins, you have to prove that what's on offer isn't suitable. So you've got a month to go through each placement with a fine tooth comb and show why one is more suitable than the other.

 

We are about to start this venture too, any ideas on how to go through each placement with a fine tooth comb? I have a gut feeling about one school in that I don't like it, but find it hard to explain why, whereas I have another school (further away) which is the one I want and it's much easier to explain why. Any ideas?

 

Lizzie xx

 

PS I thought you were taking time out, Flora?!! >:D<<'>

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We are about to start this venture too, any ideas on how to go through each placement with a fine tooth comb? I have a gut feeling about one school in that I don't like it, but find it hard to explain why, whereas I have another school (further away) which is the one I want and it's much easier to explain why. Any ideas?

 

Lizzie xx

 

PS I thought you were taking time out, Flora?!! >:D<<'>

 

 

Lizzie >:D<<'>

 

If it's between two LEA maintained placements then the LEA should name your preferred choice. The real battle is when it's between a LEA maintained placement and an out of county or independent setting. That's when you have to prove that the LEA's provision won't be able to meet your child's needs. (the CoP indicates that it isn't the 'best' school that they should name, it's the most appropriate within their provision, and if no such thing is available then that would indicate an out of county or independent school) I think in the case of LEA maintained mainstream or special settings the same applies.ie.. the onus on you to prove that one can and the other can't meet his needs.

 

A good place to start is with a very comprehensive list of your child's SEN. Then you can ask the different settings what they have in place that could meet those needs. If time is on your side and you can afford it, it's a good idea to get an independent EP to assess your child, then to visit the schools and then she/he can give their opinion on why one can, and the other can't meet your child's needs.

 

Lizzie, what sort of placement do you want and what are your LEA offering?

 

regarding 'time out'... I'm being lazy!!!! It's so much easier to drink tea and mess around on the pc than it is to scrub floors and iron clothes :rolleyes: Don't worry though I'm going to (attempt to) exercise some self control and make myself be ultra efficient and fit and healthy... then I'll be out of everyone's hair (well at least online) for a few weeks :P

 

flora

Edited by Flora

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Lizzie, what sort of placement do you want and what are your LEA offering?

 

DS2 is currently mainstream, we want to move him to Moderate Learning Difficulty school. LEA says he has to stay in mainstream, we are appealing against amendments to his Statement and will go to tribunal. If we get them to agree to MLD school, they will send him to the nearest. We want one that is further away (same LEA). The issue will come down to transport, ie we won't be able to transport him ourselves so will have to prove that the nearest school cannot cater for him but that the other one can... :wacko: My head's spinning now, so well done any one else if you can make sense of this?

 

In the meantime, >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> to Bagpuss, well done for persevering and getting hold of the right person eventually!

 

Lizzie x

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Hiya

 

I'd persist. Might be a bad secretary that doesn't pass on messages, rather than bad school in general. I'm a big believer in gut feeling when on location so to speak. Might be worth phoning secretary again advising you're calls haven't been returned and it's now a matter of urgency. Pester power can get a long way!!!

 

Regards

 

Caroline

 

OOOOPS! REALLY BAD FOR NOT READING THREADS PROPERLY - I'M A BIT BEHIND ......

 

Great you've now got an appointment. I know things like this can be so nerve-wracking. I've came to the conclusion that if you prepare well (you have - you feel you've sound grounds for going down the special school route and can back that up with a host of reasons), then it's a case of waiting and seeing what happens. So many times I've got myself into a state when I've tried to look or think too far ahead, the 'what ifs' etc. Came to the conclusion that it's very much a case of one step at a time and considering (but not dwelling too much) should things not go according to plan.

 

Best of luck.

 

Caroline.

Edited by cmuir

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Hiya

 

I'd persist. Might be a bad secretary that doesn't pass on messages, rather than bad school in general. I'm a big believer in gut feeling when on location so to speak. Might be worth phoning secretary again advising you're calls haven't been returned and it's now a matter of urgency. Pester power can get a long way!!!

 

Regards

 

Caroline

 

OOOOPS! REALLY BAD FOR NOT READING THREADS PROPERLY - I'M A BIT BEHIND ......

 

Great you've now got an appointment. I know things like this can be so nerve-wracking. I've came to the conclusion that if you prepare well (you have - you feel you've sound grounds for going down the special school route and can back that up with a host of reasons), then it's a case of waiting and seeing what happens. So many times I've got myself into a state when I've tried to look or think too far ahead, the 'what ifs' etc. Came to the conclusion that it's very much a case of one step at a time and considering (but not dwelling too much) should things not go according to plan.

 

Best of luck.

 

Caroline.

 

Thanks Caroline >:D<<'> Hope your ok chuck! Take care x

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DS2 is currently mainstream, we want to move him to Moderate Learning Difficulty school. LEA says he has to stay in mainstream, we are appealing against amendments to his Statement and will go to tribunal. If we get them to agree to MLD school, they will send him to the nearest. We want one that is further away (same LEA). The issue will come down to transport, ie we won't be able to transport him ourselves so will have to prove that the nearest school cannot cater for him but that the other one can... :wacko: My head's spinning now, so well done any one else if you can make sense of this?

 

In the meantime, >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> to Bagpuss, well done for persevering and getting hold of the right person eventually!

 

Lizzie x

 

Hope it all goes well for you too Lizzie >:D<<'>

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Guest Lya of the Nox

>:D<<'> >:D<<'>

taek deep breaths and dont panic about the order of stuffs

i reeally not gonna ask as to why u were calling the kitchens

lvs

x

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DD and I visited school this morning. Bless her, she was only interested in the toilets, and if they met with her approval, which they did. Every time the HT took us into another area/classroom, dd just said "can we go look somewhere else now" :lol: She noticed all the little details, like the magnetic door holders. I asked the HT if he felt the school could meet dd's needs, and he said yes, and that he didn't feel she would be out of place at all. We had a long chat re the EP feeling dd is too bright for special school (sorry, think that's another thread), and the HT ran through some stories of other children who were now within the school, who were also deemed to be too bright for special school, and had had an awful time at mainstream. He also said they had had to refuse two children a place recently, as they were full, but they would have a place for dd in Sept, as planned. The annual review has changed for the third time, is now the 9th November. EP is very pro mainstream, and has abit of reputation, so I'm wondering how difficult it may be to get dd a place, without everyone's agreement. :unsure:

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Guest Lya of the Nox

i am soo glad u both liked

i have no idea of how the special/mainstreamx system works

but will keep bits crossed for u

x

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She loved it bless her Lya. She has asked if she can go.....difficult trying to explain it's not a fore gone conclusion tho. :unsure: The first time DH and I went the Deputy Head showed us round, this time it was the HT, and I was as impressed as I was when I went with DH. Do not uncross anything! :lol:

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Bagpuss, I'm glad the visit went well. I really hope you can negotiate all the hurdles to get your daughter into what sounds like a great school.

 

Everything crossed! :pray:

 

K x

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:( Can anyone offer any advice....got our dd's report from her teacher home today, for her annual review. She has stated that dd wants to move into the school's support base come next Sept, so she can be with her friends X and Y, and she says dd is already thinking ahead and ready for the changes this will bring.

 

I feel utterly fed up. This is news to us. Can dd's teacher put in her report what she feels is dd's preference, even though we disagree? How much clout will this have? DD's teacher is well aware that we do not want dd to go into the support base.

 

Also, when we read report, we were really surprised, as dd has been adamant she wants to go to the special school next Sept, and hadn't once said otherwise....so we asked her again....she now continually changes her mind :unsure: Later, while alone with DH, she brought it up without prompting, and said she wanted to stay at her school, and didn't want to leave :tearful: I'm unsure what has been discussed between dd and her teacher, and if this has any relevance to how she feels now.

 

How much importance do we place on the fact that dd now doesn't want to leave her school?

 

I'm feeling so weighed down with it.....unsure what decision to make, but have to make a start on all the paperwork with our views. :(

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Bagpuss,

 

Can't really comment on what has been said to your dd at school for obvious reasons. I do think though that any discussion that have taken place should not have preempted what you want, and certainly should have only happened after a discussion with you. I'd be very annoyed if I was in your position. Is the teacher aware of your wish for your dd to go to special school? If so then she's well out of order.

 

As far as how much weight a child's voiced preference holds... Well I guess if it suits what the school/LEA want then it will have a lot of weight, but if it's contrary to what they want to happen then probably very little.

 

flora

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Yes Flora, the teacher is aware that our preference is that dd would go to special school next Sept. She asked us directly as dd's recent parents afternoon what our views will be come the annual review, and didn't comment when we told her, although looked surprised, mind you, the atmosphere was very frosty anyway. From what we can gather, the teacher and SENCO feel dd should stay at her present school, and move into the support base. I'm concerned the EP will also back them up, as he has already stated to us that he is concerned dd is too bright for a special school, and he is also very pro inclusion, and mainstream (he has abit of a reputation). We were ready for this, but now feel they will say dd's also wants to stay in this school, as in report, and how do we argue that one...because at the mo she does. DH and I feel the LEA will prob recommend dd stays put, and moves into the support base. Thanks for your advice.

Edited by Bagpuss

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Hi Bagpuss

>:D<<'> Im sorry i know how stressful this can be but try not to worry, easier said than done i know. Im sorry i dont have much advice but if you feel the new school will be better for her then there is no harm in at least looking into more. >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

Edited by brooke

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It's very hard when they're not sure about moving and hard as it is I think you have to make the decision that you as adults think will be the best in the long run for your dd.

 

We moved G in Y1 when he was just turned 6 and it was a horrible decision to make on his behalf - but you can bear in mind with a clean conscience that when they are young they don't have the emotional capacity to always see the long term benefits, moving schools is such a big thing and very stressful and worrying and it's natural to want to stay with what you know.

 

I'm not explaining what I mean very well but I remember well being in your shoes and deciding to move G and at that time, even though we were pretty (but not totally!) sure we were doing the right thing, we felt like the most cruel parents in the world as all he could see were the scary bits and he couldn't understand enough to be reassured that this was the right choice and that he'd soon settle in and make friends.

 

I'd think it's fair to argue that most small children are not able to decide what is best for them in the long term (or they'd all be eating sweeties for every meal :rolleyes: )

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Totally agree with that jlp. After all, if a child didn't like the taste of their horrible medicine you wouldn't give them the opportunity to refuse it, would you? Kidney dialasys? Insulin? Surgery? How many of us struggle with getting our kids to the dentist but we still do it in their best interests. We have to make hard decisions for our kids even though we know they might not like it.

 

Baggy, dd loved the school when she visited and was raring to go - maybe a re-visit could be arranged, to remind her of how keen she was? Sorry it all seems to be going pear-shaped, keep fighting and she'll get her place.

 

Karen

x

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Thanks again to everyone for your wonderful replies >:D<<'>

 

Well, we've slept on it, and our initial anger at the report from the teacher has abated somewhat. I'm unsure of her motivation, but I do firmly believe that she had no right to put what she felt were dd's view's about her next placement in her report, knowing full well this was not our choice as her parents.

 

We've decided to stick with our initial opinion, and favour the special school in our report and views. DD would have to move from her school in a few years anyway, and the wrench then would be even harder than it is now. I "hope" we are doing the right thing, and I suppose only time will tell. They can offer her so many things her present school can't. We were both really impressed, and believe dd would eventually attend there once she reached secondary school age anyway, because mainstream secondary wasn't something we would consider.

 

DD cannot see the bigger picture, which is why I felt upset about her teacher making those sorts of statements in her report. She said that dd wanted to go into the support base so she could be with her friends X and Y, and bring the register into her present class.

 

It's the the blooming guilt isn't it, that gets you every time :rolleyes:

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