Letter finally drafted for DADHC

[Frangipani]

Helllloooo!!

 

Well, its been a long time since I discussed the Transition program for my son.

 

The Specialist finally drafted the letter today - he wants me to pick it up tomorrow and take it in personally.

 

All this has to be reviewed and assessed - if approval goes ahead the organisation will receive funding for my son around $17,000 Aust Dollars per year. Without this they cannot accept him into the program. Had to wait till October to lodge the forms for the next intake for 2008. It is a day time program. Will PM information if anyone is interested in looking for a similar program in the UK.

 

So, all the wheels are in motion. We believe this is the only way forward for my DS.

 

Keep everything crossed

 

My daughter was present to discuss some details from her perspective about her brother and she broke down crying.

 

She fears we will loose him - she said its as if something inside him has died. But, the truth is some of that behaviour is in actual fact - he is deeply worried and concerned about his little sister.

 

Its like a big cloud is over this family. I said to the Dr and my daughter - I am going to fight off this cloud. This program is a very important part of this 'going forward'. Provided its to my son's liking. He highly respects the Specialist and trusts this recommendation.

 

Now for the approval process

 

Fxx

[bid]

Keeping everything crossed for you all, hun <'> <'>

 

Bid

[pearl]

Hope it works out, Fran <'>

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

<'> ><

[wishingwell]

Keeping fingers crossed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hope everything works out.

[Kathryn]

Good luck, Fangipani,

 

I hope everything goes ahead smoothly. Keep us posted.

 

K x

[Bagpuss]

Hope it all goes ok <'>

[Eva]

I've got everything crossed for you Frangipani <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

It sounds like a great program!

 

Evaxxx

[Frangipani]

I know a couple of families in the program - the people that introduced me to it. They spoke so highly of it. It will be worth it.

 

<'> <'> Thanks to you all here I found it.

 

Thank you <'> <'> <'>

 

Fxx

[Frangipani]

Hi <'>

 

I was starting to worry and wonder why I hadn't heard from these people. Apparently they had a big fire and have temporarily relocated.

 

I had a heart to heart with my son before he went to SA - he has the army back in his head instead of going back to College. I tried to back off so he could mull around in his thoughts about the future. I think we have made a compromise and met halfway on a decision.

 

He wanted to apply for the army without telling them about his diagnosis. I tried to explain 'how? can you manage, you know your world - I said just look back at the past five years! He said he's changed ????? ah well, no he hasn't, but he can't see that.

 

Don't jump up and down in horror as you read on...... its just an exercise so my son can see for himself are there any IT area's. So the deal is my son has my 100% support to apply for the army 'if' he goes to the Transition program and the Paediatrician and get them both to find a way or a path to facilitate it on the full knowledge of his uniqueness and giftedness. To take responsibility for an action plan and commuicate with the army once they challenge him in their program. My son agreed to attend he was crying he said there is nothing more in the world but to do this. Every morning when he wakes up - its all he thinks about I told him what if they say flat no....? Could you handle that? He said then at least he tried and will stop wondering 'what if'..... I feel anxiously uneasy as you could imagine. At least if things go pear shaped this progam has had a lot of success with programs they call 'Stepping Stones'

 

Now to find these people after the fire

 

Wish us luck - we are going to need it

 

Any advice you have to offer will be appreciated....In fact 'help'.!!!

 

Frang <'>

Edited January 30, 2008 by Frangipani

[bid]

All I can say from our experience is that once they are adults we have to step back and let them make their own decisions...and mistakes.

 

That is part of independence and autonomy, which is what we all want for our kids, isn't it?

 

It's really hard, I know, especially as with our kids we have spent all their childhood fighting for them and organising their lives.

 

My DS has made decisions in the last year or so that I haven't agreed with, but having said that he is happy and doing far more than I ever thought he would when he was younger...he has a full-time job and is taking a gap year before going back to college in September. Incidentally, he hasn't told work about his dx, although he works at a supermarket, so that's a bit different to the army...I would think that on the application forms there will be a detailed section about health that he will have to answer honestly

 

He was really unhappy before he started to take control of his own life, and although he lives an 'unusual' life now (largely nocturnal as he works late shifts, then spends the rest of the night online, then sleeps most of the day) he has mates, sometimes goes out, earns his own money and pays housekeeping.

 

So really all you can do is let them go, and be there to support them if anything does go wrong <'>

 

It is difficult, though

 

Bid <'>

Edited January 30, 2008 by bid

[Kathryn]

I agree with Bid 100%.

 

We would probably create a risk free world for our children if we could - truth is that every decision has some risk - and regret - attached to it, and it's impossible to get it right all the time.

 

If he wants to go into the army that badly, he has to try - and who knows what may happen? I sympathise with your fears about him holding back on disclosing the dx. Yesterday at the college meeting I posted about elsewhere, L was adament she does not need any support at all. She doesn't want to tell people anything about herself or her past history. That scares me - I am so worried she will fall apart without any support. But I can't trot around behind her, explaining to people what her difficulties are, and how to make her life smoother. The time for that is long gone. She's going to have to work it out for herself.

 

Good luck with the next stage, and I hope you do manage to resume discussions after the fire - what bad luck.

 

Kx

Edited January 30, 2008 by Kathryn