ZenWolf Report post Posted January 10, 2005 Hi folks I hope this is the right place for my first post here. I will be reading a whole load of the existing posts over the next few days(!), but just wanted to pop in here and say hi. A little background on me might be helpful I expect, so here goes I am 38 years old, and have suffered from severe bouts of depression and anxiety for most of my life. My Dad is bi-polar and so they "naturally" assumed I was too for ages, but it didn't quite fit. A couple of years ago, during an especially bad series of "problems" in my marriage, a cognitive therapist made the connection between my bouts of illness and problems in relationships, whether they be romantic, family or professional. I was then diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, and have been receiving counselling on that basis. I was "happy" to accept this label as it seemed to fit most of my issues - inability to "get" communication (I miss a LOT of non-verbal cues, and frequently misunderstand what people mean), avoidance of eye contact, not wanting to be touched, and so on. It was only when my ex wrote to me at Christmas and told me that my five year-old daughter has been diagnosed with AS that I even looked up what Asperger's was. You can imagine my surprise at finding out just how similar the symptoms are between BPD and AS! Perhaps if I had had any reason to mention that I also have incredibly acute hearing, smell and taste, or a hundred other little "signals" that are very AS, they might have diagnosed me differently. From a personal perspective, there isn't a world of difference between the BPD and AS, in terms of accepting that I am always going to find relating to people difficult. I had an instinctive grasp of computer programming very early in life, and have long since decided that my ideal situation is working from home doing programming and web design, with someone else doing the sales and people bit. I just need to find that someone else! My biggest issue at the moment is that I want to be sure that I do everything I can to support my little daughter. My options are limited here, as she lives over 300 miles away, I have no way to see her (and I'm not sure her Mum would let me!) and so I am limited to writing letters, or sending pictures or occassional small gifts or something. I am utterly appalled at the lack of support and recognition in this country for AS, especially reading the posts of people who have tried to claim DLA for help with their kids or help themselves. I probably won't even bother trying, as I tried once before for the depression and found the whole thing so traumatic that I couldn't face the appeal process when the orginal request was turned down. I have pretty much come to terms with my own challenges, but I now find myself getting furious at the problems that others are facing - problems that I don't want my daughter to have to face too. There is a growing movement, in the US at least, to see "Aspie" as a wonderful thing, with the vast majority of Aspie's showing great talent in arts, computing or sciences. With the right support, and recognition of the difficulties that such folk have in relating to others, they (we?) have a great deal to offer the world. I'm not quite sure how, as yet, but I am quite determined to do my bit to get this "disorder" (I hate that word with a passion!) recognised, both for it's support needs and for its more positive traits. It is wonderful, therefore, to find such a site as this and see so many others who are determined to work towards these goals too. Vive la difference! Adam Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted January 10, 2005 Hi Adam, welcome to the forum glad you popped in. Thank you for your long and interesting introduction. My husband was diagnosed with AS at the age of 52. I have two sons, my eldest, 26, was diagnosed with ASD at 19 my youngest, 24, started having problems around A level time. He was severely depressed and suicidal, he still has difficulties but nothing as severe as they were. He is now considering seeing a specialist in autism. Looking forward to ?chatting? with you. Nellie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted January 10, 2005 (edited) Welcome to the forum Adam You will find that there is loads of excellent advice and support here! My son is 15, and was diagnosed with Aspergers, ADHD and Dyspraxia when he was 7. He started at a specialist residential school for AS just before Christmas, and it has been like a dream come true for him. He is finally happy. Keep on posting! Bid Edited January 10, 2005 by bid Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ZenWolf Report post Posted January 10, 2005 Thanks for the welcome folks - you probably realise how "important" that is to me Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Helen Report post Posted January 10, 2005 ... a lovely introductory post Adam, welcome to the forum and welcome to other new members too Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Heta Report post Posted January 14, 2005 Hi everybody, I'm from Finland, 36, aspie myself and the mother of a 6-year-old girl with the same diagnosis. Her father, my ex, is British and also diagnosed with AS, plus dyspraxia and dyslexia. I'm currently working for the University of Birmingham, collecting information on the culture and interactions of autistic spectrum people on the Internet. I just stop by on various forums to get an idea of what they are generally about, whether it's primarily family oriented discussion or peer support. I'm getting the impression this is a family forum, but also kind of general purpose. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted January 14, 2005 Hi Heta, Welcome to the forum. Our members include parents, autists, family members, we even have a few professionals. Our members get and give support, advice and information. Many of our autistic members are able to offer us valuable advice and an insight into autism. It would be great to hear more about work. If we can help in any way let us know, I'm sure you will get a good response. Nellie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
koala Report post Posted January 14, 2005 hi everybody im a new member my nearly 3 year old son has has a likely diagnosis for as not really sure what to do or say at the moment thanks koala Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
big mamma Report post Posted January 14, 2005 Hi koala, My daughter is almost 3 and was recently given a formal diagnosis of autistic spectrum disorder. although I still have 'black' days when i really worry about the future mostly I am trying to concentrate on the here and now and taking each day as it comes. Although she's very hard work I try and remember every day how very special she is look forward to hearing more from you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
koala Report post Posted January 15, 2005 hi big mamma had a really bad day today kieran was on sensory overload today behaviour was awfull its like he cant cope with all social situations even going to a friends house hand over eyes tantrums galore i love him dearly but its so hard to cope with when its the same struggles day in and day out, i guess its learning to deal with the situation we are all in one day im ok the next im not thanks koala Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Joe's gran Report post Posted January 16, 2005 Hello Koala, My grandson is 3 and a half and without diagnosis as yet but with huge language problems. We have similar problems when taking Joe somewhere new but have found simple and slow explanatons given over and over again help him to understand what's happening and so to relax a bit and not suffer the overloads as much. As shopping was so hard with him my daughter started just leaving him with us whilst she went. As his understanding has a bit improved a bit now he can tolerate ASDA for a short while and usually just stays in the video/DVD/computer game part of the supermarket (it is quieter and probably not as brightly lit there in our supermarket) with dad whilst mum shops!!!!! All children are different aren't they and the things which work for Joe may not work with your little one but thought it may help you to know that you are not alone in these problems. Love Joe's gran. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
big mamma Report post Posted January 16, 2005 Hi koala, We are all in the same boat with the behaviour problems / sensory difficulties. Look through the many threads on here to have a look at various topics. If any of us can be of help we will. Take care. <'> <'> <'> Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
koala Report post Posted January 16, 2005 hi big mamma things better today still the usual stress but not as bad as yesterday im gradually getting my head around things it takes time though thanks for the kind messages its good to hear from people giong through the same a you ,makes things easier you dont feelquite so alone thanks koala Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anoif Report post Posted January 16, 2005 (edited) Hi My name is Fiona and I have just receivced on 11th January 2005, the dx of Aspergers for my 9 year old son. I have found this site by accident while try to find out about aspergers which I must addmit do not know much about. I also felt that my son was different, but it was due to him being an only child, left handed, brainy.....etc. So you can imagine, I am abit taken aback. Now I have all the questions what now? where next? Just so glad found this site. Edited January 16, 2005 by Anoif Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted January 16, 2005 Hi Fiona, You have certainly come to the right place to ask questions? This is a great forum. It's not unsual to feel unsure and even afraid after a formal diagnosis - but there is life after a dx - it just changes course a little. Hope you gain as much from this forum as I have. Carole - Mum to two sons with ASD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted January 17, 2005 Hi Fiona welcome to the forum, There is lots of information and support on here. Take your time to read some of the postings it's a great way of picking up information. Asperger's Syndrome A Guide for Parents and Professionals by Tony Attwood is probably the best book, definitely worth reading. This is a link to a very useful leaflet with basic information on ASD's All About Autistic Spectrum Disorders, For parents of recently diagnosed child. http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=294 I look forward to 'chatting' with you. Take care Nellie <'> Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted January 17, 2005 A big welcome to everyone who has joined recently. Hope the forum provides you with what you need to help you on the rollercoaster that is ASD!! Kindest regards, Elefan <sometimes absent forum co-host!!!> Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
koala Report post Posted January 17, 2005 hi everyone i bought the book about aspergers by tony attwood it certainly gives a good insight into aspergers and does answer a lot of questions a good book to get,cheers koala Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matt Report post Posted January 18, 2005 Hi, I'm Matt, an expatriate Brit living in Australia. My mother (not a medical professional nor even close) has diagnosed my father as having Asperger's Syndrome, so, wondering whether or not she might have something, I googled 'Aspergers' and found my way to your message board. I look forward to learning. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted January 18, 2005 Welcome to all the new members! This is just the best place for friendly advice and support. Bid Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted January 18, 2005 Hi Matt, Welcome to the forum. You will find lots of information on here. I can recommend Tony Attwood's book: Asperger's Syndrome A Guide for Parents and Professionals. Aspergers in Love: Couple Relationships and Family Affairs by Maxine Aston would be a very good book for your mother to read. This forum topic has some useful information and links AS / Relationships and Marriage, Information on family relationships. http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=727 Hope this helps in some way, any questions please ask. Nellie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matt Report post Posted January 18, 2005 Thank you. I shall forward those titles to my mother. I imagine most members of this forum have already had their friend or family member professionally diagnosed and that they're here to share and discuss what is already a given in their lives, but for someone who is unsure, like me, is it possible to enter into a diagnostic discussion here? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted January 18, 2005 Matt, Everyone is welcome on this site, we have parents of children with ASD (autistic spectrum disorders), adults with ASD, some of them parents. We have families of people with ASD and some professionals. Many of our members are undiagnosed, some waiting for diagnosis and some happy to accept their differences without diagnosis. Although most of our postings are from parents we welcome the views of adult offspring. My eldest son is 26, diagnosed with ASD at 19, my husband, 53, was diagnosed just over a year ago with Asperger syndrome and my youngest son is 24 and has suffered from depression for about 4 years. We suspect he has Asperger Syndrome. We discuss all aspects of autism which includes Asperger Syndrome. I can assure you there are many people on here who are as unsure as you are. Your input and views would be very welcome. There's lots of information on here: National Autistic Society website. http://www.nas.org.uk/ Go on make me jealous, is it warm and sunny where you are? Nellie xx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matt Report post Posted January 18, 2005 Not at ten past midnight, but in several hours I'm sure it will be. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anoif Report post Posted January 18, 2005 Thanks for the information, the link to the leaflet was very good, thanks nellie. It was something I could read and understand straight away. I have also ordered some books so it is happy reading for me! I will probably be back with some questions. Thanks again Fiona Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jenzi Report post Posted January 24, 2005 Hello, just discovered this UK site, seen enough official ones with popups all over! My stepson is nearly 20, with AS or high func aut - although i just spotted a link on here to explain the diff. Hoping to find help re criminal behaviour. xx jenzi Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted January 24, 2005 Hi Jenzi welcome to the forum, I found this, it's from the NAS site. ASD: a brief guide for criminal justice professionals http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=306&a=5624 Nellie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rich Report post Posted January 27, 2005 Hi all. I'm Rich, aged 28 from Sheffield, 5 years ago... Well nearer 6 now, I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome after 23 years of having problems with school and life in general and not knowing what was causing the problems. I now get support with daily life from Thorne House Services for Autism who support me 3 days a week in doing household tasks, learning independance skills such as self travelling, budgeting etc. If anyone wants to talk to me about anything to do with Asperger's in general or any other topic, my MSN Messenger handle is yorkshire_xboxkid@hotmail.com and my Skype name if you'd like to voice chat with me is richallen. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted January 27, 2005 Hi Rich, Jenzi, etc etc. I always forget to look in here - boy it's been busy! Welcome to all 'Newbies'... hope to be posting with you soon BD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted January 27, 2005 Hi to all the new dudes!! Bid Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bevalee Report post Posted January 27, 2005 Wow! It's been busy! Welcome to everyone! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted February 1, 2005 Hi everybody.I,ve been posting away for over a week, did,nt realise I should have introduced myself, sorry.I have 3 kids the eldest is 9 and is an ASPIE.Also has dyslexia and dyspraxia.DX last year after having a tough time at school.Now statemented and getting the help he needs.Completely obsessed with tractors,fussy eater, hates smells,loves routine does,nt get jokes.But makes me laugh with his brilliant voice impersonations.Have really loved reading all the posts,the batcave had me in stitches.The support on here is brilliant glad to have found you all.xxxxx. ) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted February 1, 2005 Help it,s me again, can,t figure out how to get the smiley faces too work!Shall keep pressing buttons till I figure it out . img Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted February 1, 2005 WOW! I did it I got a smiley cool face just not sure how I did it though , shall continue to fiddle. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted February 1, 2005 Yes think I know what I did sorry for the ramblings.Bye again. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted February 1, 2005 Hi Suze, Nice to meet you. I'm glad to hear your son is getting the support he needs. Nellie xx You got the hang of the smilies then Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted February 1, 2005 Hi Nellie yes I got the hang of the smiles and I,m smiling all over yipeeeeeeee! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted February 2, 2005 Welcome to all of you! Glad you found us. Elefan Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fly62 Report post Posted February 3, 2005 Hi I am new to this site I have three children 1 Son (16) dx with Aspergers and 2 daughters (13&10). My son was diagnosed at the age of 8 and I have had an uphill battle to get him the Education he needed , he remained in mainstream schools until midway through year 10. I am please to see this site has been set up and wish more info had been available when we were first dx. Hope to be able to give and get lots of advice. I would love to hear from people with older teanagers with Aspergers especially info about college and work placements. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 3, 2005 (edited) Hi fly62, Welcome to the forum! My son will be 16 this summer. He was diagnosed when he was 7, and also came out of mainstream last year when he was in Year 10. He started at a specialist residential school for AS and HFA in November and is just thriving in this environment He has funding for an extra year at this school, and then we hope he will go on to the associated Special College for AS. PM me if you want to know the name! Where is your son now?? Looking forward to hearing from you! Bid Edited February 3, 2005 by bid Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
