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  1. 1. Where are you based?

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Hello to everyone!! :P

My name is Esther, I'm 26 and a single parent to the two lights of my life, Caghal(pronounced KA-hal, gaelic, confuses everyone, wish we'd called him John now!! :D ) and Elijah. Both are boys, aged 7 and 1 respectively, and Caghal has Aspergers syndrome. We live near Stirling, Scotland.

Don't know about everyone else, but we've had a really hard time getting help for our boy(Dad's still very involved, thank heavens!!)

Nursery in particular was a nightmare- halfway through, we asked about holding school off for a year because of Caghal's then undiagnosed problems, were told that they wouldn't support our request to the education authority, then a 3 wks before summer hols. were told that the Nursery thought he wouldn't cope with school!!!!! :blink:

As you can tell, that still irks me somewhat!!! :D Anyway, things are rolling a bit more smoothly now, hopefully he'll have a place at a specialist unit by this autumn-I think they'll put him into P2 again as this year in mainstream ed. has not went very well. These problems aside, he's a great kid!!(MOST of the time!! ;) )

Elijah seems to be developing in a textbook manner... by Hoki, I hope that continues! He's a brilliant wee pudding!

Me, I'm starting college in Sept, doing applied biological sciences but for now am a stay-at-home Mum...and that's about it, really! Hope to chat often, Esther x

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Welcome Esther, Nikki and Lynn

 

I am sure you will find this forum useful.

 

The great thing about it is there are plenty of other people going through the same kinds of thoughts and feelings, so there is no need to feel alone.

 

Simon

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Huge welcome to all of you!!!! :)

 

Hope you find the forum as useful as I do!!! Such a knowledgeable, helpful, friendly bunch!! B)

 

Kindest regards,

 

Elefan

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Hiya bid,

 

Welcome to the forum. So glad you found us.

 

As Karen and Simon have already said, many of our members use the forum to unload from time to time. Please feel free to use the forum as a resource, library, contact point or sanity saver.

 

You'll be amazed by how many members will be able to identify with everything you are saying.

 

Kris

Forum co-Host

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Hello I am madgery, I live in bonnie scotland with my hubby and 3 kids, the eldest has aspergers syndrome and was diagnosed at the ripe old age of 9, we are coping very well at the moment and when I say we I mean that loosly as my hubby is working away from home at the moment, which isn't suiting my son very well at all, he is in mainstream secondary school and is being supported very well, which i think is great all power to the school, the main problem for me is transport which is proving to be an unphill battle. Hope to see you all on the boards.

 

Forgot to tell you all that my eldest son is 14 now my second son is 11 and my wee devilsh girl is 9, hubby and I have been married for 15 years and I feel very old at times. lol.

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Hello Madgery

 

 

Welcome to the site. I am a fellow Scot but moved to the south of England 18years ago. I have a son, 25, diagnosed at 19 with ASD. My lovely husband, 52, was diagnosed with AS at the end of last year.

 

I have been married for 27 years and I am old!!!

 

Hope you find the site helpful

 

Nellie.

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hi magery

 

welcome to the site

i have five kids 14, 13, 10, 8 and 6 and the 13yr old has AS

im sure you will find lots of help and support here

 

Trace xx

 

ps Nellie your not old just wise

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Hi I am not too good at this forum thing, I can't even send texts on my phone without typing words in full! I've spent hours reading but struggle a bit on abbreviations.

My son is 6 and was seen by a Doctor at school last January and diagnosed with AS. It was very upsetting especially as he is our only (despite our efforts).

My DH (know that one!) stays at home Monday to Friday while I work full time then on Fridays and Saturday night he works and I look after Craig. We are from West Sussex.

I am so grateful to have found this and feeling that we are not alone and that our child is not just a naughty boy.

 

Gabby

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Hi madgery, bid and craig's mum :)

 

Welcome to the forum,

 

Hopefully you'll find what you're looking for in the very many topics available.

 

Helen :)

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Hi, folks.

 

Kris may vaguely remember that I first registered here last September, but I haven't actually posted anything since then. Sorry about that.

 

By the looks of things (I've skimmed through the topics posted a few times in the last 6 months), this is a truly wonderful forum, that seems great for someone with Asperger's Syndrome like me (although it's probably slightly better for the parents of those with the condition). So that's why I joined as a member last year. But when it came to fully reading the messages posted here, and making my own contributions, I suddenly realised I wasn't comfortable doing so. I felt like I was dwelling too much on my problems if I did that, and that I wouldn't be able to find any solutions to them anyway - partly because I feel stuck in a rut with the way I am, and partly because I'm stubborn to change (I suppose that's an Asperger's symptom, so it may apply to many here) and so any possible solutions suggested would probably have side effects or aspects to them that I didn't like, so I'd just avoid doing them and stay stuck in my ways.

 

Anyway, as for basic info about me in case I ever do post anything here, I'm 23, living in Somerset - currently unemployed after struggling through university and ultimately not coming out the other end.

 

You can read links to more information about me if you're interested:

http://soiuser.hyperchat.com/gordy/ provides general info about me - it's based at the chat site (the State of Insanity, or "SOI" for short) that I am a member of;

http://www.users.dircon.co.uk/~cns/james.html provides very detailed account of my life with Asperger's through university - it only covers up to October 2002 though, when I wrote that page, which is at the start of my ultimately unsuccessful final year.

 

My main problem, one that bothers and depresses me more than anything (and, yes, I do have depression as well), is being unable to get a girlfriend, either on-line or off-line. Communication is far easier for me on-line, but I've not had a girlfriend of any sort for nearly 3 years now. And I never meet anyone off-line to even make friends with, never mind generate any sort of romantic relationship. I just desperately want to be wanted and loved, which I know is, in itself, a big turn-off (coming across as desperate for love, that is), but something that I can't do anything about.

 

One other thing that seems to annoy my mum more than myself (mainly coz she has to watch me doing it) is my OCD tendencies. I see there is a post about this on one of the boards, which I may reply to in time, with more detail on this, but these seem to have become more pronounced over time - I just get more and more bogged-down with them, finding more and more little things I need to do to keep me satisfied. And bizarrely, I either do all of them or none of them at all. I mean once I've started, I have to do everything, but the thought of having so much to do often puts me off even starting.

 

Anyway, that's plenty enough for an intro. Good to see the recent introduction of a "hug" emoticon here! ;) I'll be looking for these in particular - hugs are definitely under-rated. >:D<<'> Maybe I'll get around to regular posts on the forum boards eventually. :)

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Hiya Gordie,

 

Welcome back to the forum :)

 

Thats quite a posting youve started with! Very honest indeed.

 

I hope you'll become a regular visitor and of course you are very welcome.

 

Kris

Forum co-Host

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Hi Gordie,

 

What a wonderful introduction!! As Helen says, so frank and honest,..and with humour.

 

I can only imagine what direction some of the threads on this forum would take if you put your thoughts/experiences/perspective on things too!! Please, please, please. :) I will promise to use the emoticons even more often if you do!! >:D<<'> ;)

 

Really glad that when you have been privately viewing the postings over the last 6 months, that you have stayed. I appreciate that the forum leans more towards the parent/carer, but there most certainly is a place for you and anyone on the spectrum. Judged by the amount of people on here voting to say that they believe there are hereditory links to ASD, you are most certainly not alone!

 

A very warm welcome, Gordie. Whatever prompted you to post tonight,...I hope it happens again!!

 

Kindest regards,

 

Elefan

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Hi Gordie,

 

Thank you for your posting. I appreciated your honesty.

 

I agree with everything Elefan says. You would get a warm welcome from everyone here and I think any contribution you make would be very valuable.

 

It would be nice to have you visit us on a regular basis.

 

Best Wishes

 

Nellie

 

:thumbs:>:D<<'> :dance::dance:

 

Dancer is definitely my favourite.

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:D Thanks all, for the very warm welcome.

 

As for my honesty, you ain't seen nothing yet! It's probably my most strongly-held principle, and being honest is no effort to me. I'm very honest about the way I am and various other things with people who aren't knowledgeable about Asperger's, and in places that aren't specifically related to the condition like this is, so it's really no problem here at all.

 

And as for the amount I put into my introduction, I found myself actually struggling to keep it down to a minimum! :lol:

 

I didn't actually think I was terribly humorous in that post, Elefan. By my standards, I was actually quite serious! In my experiences at chat sites over the course of the last 6 years or so, I've found myself constantly using humour. Sometimes I overdo it, and the teasing of my friends becomes a bit mean, and they take offence. I can be very tactless and insensitive in many of my comments (definitely an Aspie thing), especially as I get to know people more, so I feel more confident with them. Many a friendship I've had on-line has taken a huge step backwards because of an ill-thought-out comment meant only in jest, and certainly never meant to hurt. So maybe this is an early warning to everyone, in case I end up doing it to any of you.

 

I think what prompted me to post here last night was a huge low mood I was in. It may not have appeared like I was a terrible mood last night, but I was. I guess I just made an effort to put on a mask for that intro. I was at a wedding on Saturday - probably my two best friends off-line getting married. And for lonely people like me, as enjoyable as the event itself was, it's easy to come away from it feeling slightly bitter that I'm still very much single. Seeing everyone married off already, and me having to try and enjoy the occasion on my own for the majority of the day. It really led to a crisis of confidence once the high of being at the reception was over - it lasted from late Saturday night, through yesterday, and part of this morning too ... until a freaky coincidence happened. I was at Tesco's getting a couple of essentials for Mum coz she's just got back from a week away from home, and I happened to bump into one of my old school friends who was also at the wedding! I'd not seen her for years until Saturday, and we didn't get the chance to catch up on Saturday, so it was really nice to have a chat with her for a couple of minutes. I've always fancied her a bit, but she's married now as well (I think) - she used to live on the same road as me when we were really young. Bizarrely, the last time I randomly bumped into her, quite a few years ago now, was at Tesco's as well! So those few minutes alone have perked me up again. :thumbs:

 

Okay - I'll leave it there. Just for you though, nellie ... :dance:

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Gordie

 

Thank you for my dancer, that was really nice of you. Most people will tell you I am usually poker faced and business like - ask Kaz! :P

 

As for the amount I put into the introduction I found myself actually struggling to keep it down to a minimum

 

Gorgie don't struggled, you post as much as you like. If your humour is anything like my husband's (diagnosed AS) it will be very funny.

 

Glad to hear you are feeling happier today. :) My exhaust has just fell off so I am rather :( and :pray: it will be fixed soon.

 

Take care.

 

Nellie :thumbs:

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Many a friendship I've had on-line has taken a huge step backwards because of an ill-thought-out comment meant only in jest, and certainly never meant to hurt. So maybe this is an early warning to everyone, in case I end up doing it to any of you

 

Hi Gordie,

Lets hope that this is the one place that the above wil not hapen to you Gordie, as we are all used to our children using ill_thought_out coments!

 

Your input helps us all see what its might be like from our childs point of view! so for that a big thank you and >:D<<'> and like everyone else has said i hope that you now feel you can post hre more often:)

 

Karen xx

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Hi Everyone,

 

This is my introductory posting. I am known on-line as "Jester" and am married to Bid, who has been posting on here for a while. I am, therefore, stepfather to the aforementioned son with AS and natural father to the others. I shall remain anonymous because I am a teacher and yet more than likely to slag off my beloved profession when on a high horse! :blink:

 

I trained as a Secondary teacher, went into Special Needs (retired hurt - long story :fight: ) and transferred to Primary 4 years ago. The general attitude of colleagues to AS in schools at the moment is a source of irritation to me, as is their (our!) overall "teacher-thing" of being unable to admit they (we!) don't know everything. Sigh.

 

Apart from Stepfathering an AS boy for 11 years, I am no expert, but since I also suffer from the "teacher thing" I will undoubtedly talk as though I am and offer advice and opinion at all opportunities!! :whistle:

 

regards Jester

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Ah Ha!!

 

Hi Jester and welcome to the forum!

 

I knew Kris and elefan's new smilies would eventually entice you to join - from your co-post with Bid :hypno:

 

Helen :)

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hey jester,

i promise that we ( will me anyway not sure about helen!! :P ) will go easy on you!! we will not hold it against you that your a teacher :blink:

 

p.s feel free to correct my really bad spelling when ever you want!!! :oops:

 

Welcome and hope to see more of your posts

 

Karen x :thumbs:

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i promise that we ( will me anyway not sure about helen!! :P ) will go easy on you!! we will not hold it against you that your a teacher :blink:

Jester,

 

Don't you listen to Kaz, she makes me out to be horrid - I was only like that when I was a little girl :D

 

I'd watch what you're posting if I were you. kaz lets someone write a full length page and then she replys with something like : I agree with everything member says, you don't have to take my word for it, the proof is posted somewhere in here. :P:lol::lol:

 

Helen

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[

 

 

I'd watch what you're posting if I were you. kaz lets someone write a full length page and then she replys with something like : I agree with everything member says, you don't have to take my word for it, the proof is posted somewhere in here. :P:lol::lol:

:( i only did that the once................... and only cos my fingers hurt from to much typing :(

 

but like i said at the time Helen feel free to post for me when ever you want because we spend most of our time saying and typing the same thing anyway!! :D

 

love the nice one of the forum!!!

 

Karen :wub:>:D<<'> :dance:

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:( i only did that the once................... and only cos my fingers hurt from to much typing :(

Yeh, Yeh!!

 

Liar liar pants on fire, Kaz :P:lol:

 

The only time your fingers hurt, is when you press the quote thingy :lol:

 

Helen x :D

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Welcome Jester,

 

I like the name, has it got a story behind it?

 

I am sure you can sort these two out (Helen and Kaz). You must be used to sorting out unruly behaviour!! :shame:

 

I'm the sensible one! (teacher's pet)! :D

 

Nellie.

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I'm the sensible one! (teacher's pet)! :D

/me hands Nellie an apple for the teacher!!!! :whistle:

 

just don't hit Helen and me as you pass us in the corner!!! :pray::shame:

 

if i promise to behave will i get a gold star?????????? :thumbs:

 

Karen xx

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Helen, Nellie and Kaz,

 

I'll have no hitting thank you, ladies, or you'll lose your playtime. Any more bickering and name-calling and you'll have to sit in another forum for five minutes "thinking time" :shame:;)

 

Thank you for the apple ... but you'll get further with a "Bounty"!

 

The Name:

 

I picked "Jester" for 2 reasons. Generally I don't take much seriously (and if I do I still have to make jokes about it) and secondly I am fond of on-line games. I note that On-line gamers go for names like "Death-angel", "Colonel Slaughter" and "Sex-Machine"; the thought of so many 17 year old eight-stone bundles of acne and twenty-eight stone middle aged american doughnut addicts trying to sound so tough just makes me laugh ... hence "Jester" :D

 

Thank you for the warm welcome,

 

Jester

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:D Hi folks, my name is Carol - was recommended to this site by "mother" on JABS. I have two kids boy 4 3/4 and a girl almost 8. My daughter has learning delay, oppositional defiance disorder and elective mutism (chooses not to talk) - although she has a problem with language understanding and speaking. She has been statemented and attends a mainstream school - she also has bowel problems. My little boy has severe ASD/ADHD and bowel problems. He has no lanuage, is in nappies - but physically he's as fast as a whippet! I spend most of my days running around after him trying to keep him out of trouble. He has absolutely no fear of anything and does not recognise danger. He also has poor pain response and does not seem to feel extreme temperature. He will put his hand on a hot radiator or oven door or sit in a cold puddle in the garden when it is snowing naked! He hates wearing clothes!! I have to keep all windows and doors locked as well as make sure he does not do things like turn the cooker on or the taps on! He climbs on the sides in the kitchen and turns the kitchen taps on. We have an open plan house so we can't stop him gaining access. I am trying to teach him singalong and PECS but he is not yet responding. His language capabilities have been assessed at less than 9 months. I have recently stopped working full time as my childminder could not cope and my other half stayed at home for a while but it drove him crazy. I was actually quite ill and exhausted - working full time and not sleeping (as my son cat-naps) he does not sleep all night and runs around the house until the wee small hours! I am now a full-time mum and would like to chat to other and get some tips on how you all manage to get through the night without commiting child abuse! I think I have cornered the market on "pro-plus" "redbull" "black coffee" "coke" (from a bottle!!!) - caffine addict!!!!! I get physical aid from matchsticks, although they can give you splinters! Hubbie always says I'll watch him and I find hubbie snoring and my boy on the rampage. My daughter is an angel and is placid compared to her brother. Hey, I am sure you all get the picture - sorry to go on - CarolJ

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Hi Carol

 

Glad you found us. I hope you find this site helpful. You can off load and scream as much as you like on here, we will listen and try to understand. We may not always have the answers to problems but I'm sure we will all do our best.

 

Your life sounds really hectic, it must be very difficult for you and your husband. Do you get any help with respite care etc.?

 

Look forward to reading your postings.

 

Take care >:D<<'>

 

Nellie.

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:wallbash: We were giving 2 hours a week - only after I had phoned up social services and told them to come and get my son as I was exhausted with no sleep and could not cope anymore! Have not seen the "Carer" since after Xmas - although he did not change nappies etc - so we would have to wait in in case he needed to bring my boy back! Local services are stretched to breaking point at the moment, I was told to get anti-depressants from the Doctors by social services (must admit nothing but praise for Prozac - it has saved my boy's life!) - Have also given up smoking (very difficult at 3.30am with nerves worn to a frazzle!) but my son is so funny as he does the craziest things! Will enlighten but have to go now as he is hitting his sister over the head! Full scale riot going on downstairs!

 

Take care and thanks for the welcome.

 

CarolJ

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Welcome Carol!

 

Good luck with that :fight: downstairs!! (Sorry,...all these new emoticons still have novelty value!!).

 

Hope you find the site helpful and look forward to hearing from you whenever. :)

 

Kindest regards,

 

Elefan

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:shame: Well, no blood - my daughter does like to exagerate a scream - loves getting her brother into trouble! She had changed the TV channel and my boy obviously did not like her choice of program. She makes me laugh, she sits with the remote in her hand - her and her dad fight all the time over it. She hides it from him >:D<<'> . Do you all have ASD children?

 

CarolJ

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Hi Carol,

I am the "mother" who recommended this site. Sorry about the unoriginal alias but I was very tired and couldn't think of anything else!

I am so glad you have logged on here...I'm sure you can already see how kind and supportive everyone is on this site.

I was very upset by the many postings on the JABS site which I felt were not about support and advice, but more about pro-MMR people basically using bully-boy tactics against families who have enough to cope with as it is!!

There, rant over!

I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time...I hope you get a chance to have a good look round this site as there is so much useful advice and friendship here. >:D<<'>

 

Hang in there!

Bid

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Evening all

 

Carol - Bid is my wife!

 

Now the above posting from my beloved is a classic example of why you should Log Out your Husband before posting a message.

 

That is not a euphemism for divorce or murder, by the way!

 

I am Definitely NOT "Mother" on this or any other site! (I failed the medical)

 

goodnight

 

The One and Only REAL Jester :)

 

 

(PS...don't encourage him...you can see where it leads!!! Bid)

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:thumbs: Hi Jester, and thanks for the recommendation. I certainly agree with you about the way in which alot of pro-mmrs seem to take it upon themselves to try and persuade us that we are wrong :shame: - I suppose unless you see it happen to your own child it is hard to believe. Did you see on "This Morning - Fern and (don't know his name) my sister in law phoned me. Had a couple of kids on there that had had measles. What I did not quite understand is that apparently they had had the 1st MMR but not booster - how did they contract measles. I caught tail end - would love to know what the full story was.

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:wacko: - Jester or Bid - I am confused - don't do this to me - it does not take a lot to confuse me. Hello to both of you! Shall I call you Jester or Bid? :P

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Hi Carol,

I am Bid, who recommended this site to you cunningly disguised as "mother"...

Jester is my husband, and he just likes playing with the emoticons!!

 

Anyway, we are both really glad to see you on this site!

 

Bid

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