SOOOOO ANNOYED..........

[onlycrazygal]

Hi guys,

im feeling so down today, sw had started sending Fcarer round as an outreach worker to educate me on

boundaries and consequences. Ive only been a parent for 20 years .....

Main problem being our beans school refusal and as i was telling you guys the other week the underlying

un-addressed chronic anxiety he is experiencing to the point he simply cannot move.

 

the educational mentor that usually picks him up has finished. The head of education for looked after children

, even though he is with me states there are simply no resources. The LEA special needs co-ordinator states they have no evidence that bean has any special needs and besides there is no role for her until he is in mainstream.

Ed psyche wont get involved and feels his problems are down to me..... The LEA have now been refusing speech and occupational assessments for the past 3 years, despite judge ordering these back in august.

 

As you may remember they turned up to remove bean back in August.bcos he refused to go with the Fcarer he had never met before..... 2 sw s and 5 police officers in tow, but fortunately i talked them out of it and they saw the detrimental effect it was having on my son.

So since then all concerned have forced us into a corner stating their plan for bean must work and i must make sure it does other wise the court will order removal again.

I have done everything in my power to get his medical needs addressed, keep appointments, bring my sons anxiety levels down as much as i can. Have succeeded in getting him to sleep on his own except for the occasional hiccup.

Am trying my damndest to keep up with the house , disability doesnt help, in addition am self litigant in person and will be

representing myself in a few days in court, so have had so much paperwork to do its unreal.....

 

 

What finished it for me i think was yesterday , when Fcarer doubling up as outreach worker turned up at my home to pick bean up for his one to one session in classroom. She had brought a new t-shirt for him which was very nice, so i took it

up for him to try.

 

The time came for him to move out of his room and come downstairs, he refused as before, i wapped his music system on quite loud shouting come on bean you can do this..... Started doing a jiggly dance which made him laugh trying to motivate him ........after 20 mins i gave up and went downstairs for a quick break.

The Fcarer said, where is he .....is it ok if i go up and have a go.........i agreed as 3 professionals had tried before her and failed so what the hell.

 

 

Fcarer said, for starters ill have that T-shirt back thanks so get it off.....she said you dont deserve it. said if you dont come down connah the SS will fetch the police again and they will remove you.

Dont think they cant because they can and will, dont you want to stay with your mum ? She went on for a full ten minutes, by this time our bean had shut down.......

She came downstairs and said hes blanking me in defiance!!! What you need to do is implament some consequences, remove his birthday present and tv and games .....this must be carried through he cannot get away with it,

difficulties or no difficulties!!!!

I told her they were her views, however the strategies she described, i had tried before it has resulted with 2 results, 1. he will shut down, i cannot get through and it gets me no-where fast as communication is none existant. 2. He explodes to the point of being very destructive and sometimes violent. Im lucky if he remembers enough when he has calmed down to communicate effectively.

 

 

 

Where it is hard for a child to communicate effectively they should not be threatened into submission, they should not be punished for their innability to make others understand them.

HE NEEDS HELP AND SUPPORT YOU IGNORANT SH***..........I MEAN HOW LONG ARE THEY GOING TO TRY AND FORCE COMPLIANCE, IM DISGUSTED.... MY CHILD IS SUFFERING AT THEIR HANDS NOT MINE.....

 

SORRY AM EXTREMELY PEEVED........

 

HUGS,

OCG

[Bambi]

Awww hun <'> >< <'> ><

 

I havent been about fro a long while but i can say that i too am going through the same cr*p as u. I have child protection on me now saying nothing is wrong with T and that its a Factitious Induced Illness.

 

I feel like im having a nightmare but never waking up

 

I have to say u are a great mum and dont EVER let anyone tell u any different! If we didnt care about our kids we would not be here on forums looking for support to help us help our kids, its criminal that so called professionals get away with doing this to us!

 

Take care and ive sent u a pm <'>

 

Bambi x

[pearl]

<'> for both of you. I just dont know what to say, its hard to even read, to go through this must be hell.

[Clare63]

OCG & Bambi,

My heart goes out to you both, I wish had the answers for you but can only offer my support that I am here to listen. I can not begin to imagin what you are going through, a living hell. You are both fantastic Mothers and like the rest of us would protect our chilkdren from such ignorance till the end of time.

Stay strong <'> <'> <'>

 

Clare x x x

[mandyque]

Good grief, how dare she threaten your child that way! I would be extremely angry too, how desperate do they want you to get before they'll help???? She can't give your child a gift then demand it back like that, he must have been so confused, a tshirt has no logical connection with obedience.

 

Good luck with the court, I hope you finally get the help that he needs, it's appalling that you have had to get this far.

[stressedmumto2]

I read this post yesterday with tears in my eyes cos now after everything s/s are considering taking my boy away from me and placing him with his father or foster care, like that will really help him .

 

OCG, the worker was awful with what she had said to your child, my son had a teacher who threatened him once in school and he ended up being excluded as a result we got it over-turned on DD as they knew not to make threats to him. I would if you have the energy to do so put in writing the threat she made to your child.

 

It's beyond belief how some of these workers are in their professions. They simply have in my case and any other peoples made their own judgement on what they think is the problem without taking notice of pople who have spent years and years researching children like ours and actually doing proper assessments. We have had 4 highly eminent professionals do assessment of son now and they still wont accept dx.

 

Our core assessment goes on and on about son having control and being manipulative, not bad when you consider he has a PDA dx amongst other things but yet they still ignore this and go as far as to not even include it in the core assessment.

 

OCG and Bambi I have followed your stories for a long time (I also go on PDA forum) and sometimes it's to hard to write a reply as I'm faced with similar difficulties. It's obvious we are all caring mum's but rather than help our children and us as families it's easier and cheaper to place the children in a completly different enviroment and then they don't have us their parents fighting their corner.

 

Something needs to be done, desperatly and soon, social services with no experience/knowledge/expertise in disabilities should not be allowed to work with us and our children, because quite frankly they do not understand and so they will never care enough to understand.

 

OCG and Bambi take care both of you <'>

[Nic m]

Hi, only crazy gal, this is a very difficult thing to go through and i find it very painful thinking of your situation.

Can i offer you one suggestion? You can record someone in you own home, this is something you can inform them of and they may think twice about how they speak to you and your son!

Other than that you can have someone present on these occassions (easier said than done i know) to back up what you are saying.

Good luck and best wishes

Nicola