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Rabbit

Help!!!!!!

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WARNING LONG POST WRITTEN BY A MUMBLY OLD FOOL!!!!!

 

I removed my son J from his mainstream school because he was suffering so badly at the hands of a bully. This bully would constantly tell my child he was being stupid and silly. He would physically restrain my son and on one occassion did this so hard my son was bruised. This bully was the school Head Teacher!!!!

 

The Head Teacher used my sons lack of understanding as his tool to control what was happening with regard to his education. Head would tell us that J had spent the whole morning reading and writing.....yet our son could not read to us at home and we saw no evidence of him being able to write his name let alone a story at school. Head would say that J was playing us for fools....that there was nothing wrong with him and that we were neurotic. :angry:

 

Final straw was when Head told J that if he didnt stop being stupid he would remove the LSA from the class and then J would be alone with no one to help him....bummer for the Head was that another Mom over heard him say this and told us immediatly.

 

Head did not deny that he had said this and told us that J just needed to be told the truth sometimes.....he does do stupid things so he should be told so!!!!

When I think that my son was subjected to the abuse he received at the hands of this man for 4 years it makes me shudder and cry buckets. :crying:

 

J never went back following that incident. We sought help from our GP because J was asking to kill himself. GP wrote a letter to school to say J was experiencing psychological damage caused by an inappropriate school placement. We had a solicitor on board fighting our battle to get J a placement in the local Special School and when the LEA got a copy of the GP's letter from our solicitor chappie, they backed down and gave us the placement....in Sept 05!!!!

Solicitor was costing a small mortage and he felt that we would not win if we went to appeal because of time frames.....this all happened in Oct 04....by the time we would get to appeal it would be March/April 05 and he felt SENDist would say that Sept is not so far away.....so bye bye Solicitor and heres your Cheque!!!!

 

So J has been at home since...Im educating him and he is doing well. I have requested Link Education of 5 hours a week....this was refused on Tuesday of this week because J does not have any physical difficulties which are keeping him away from school....have written back to LEA informing them that J is physically fit....mentally he is not and therefore we wish to pursue Link Education on the grounds of phsycological difficulties.

 

A while ago our LEA officer said we could contact the special school to arrange one afternoon a week in the school for J, so he could at least have some social interaction in a classroom environment. This was arranged and J went yesterday for his first afternoon.

 

The LEA officer phoned me to see how it went and I told her he was really happy and had enjoyed himself, so much so that the class teacher had said he could go again today for the afternoon. I asked the LEA officer if there was any chance at all of J starting full time at the school before Sept.....definatly not due to funding issues etc....

 

When I collected J from the school today his new class teacher said J really needs a lot of input and assistance in all table top activities. She thought he was a little poppet and was glad to have him on board. She said it may be possible for her to have J more often in the class as he has appeared to settle so well.

 

I explained that I have asked the LEA if he can start full time sooner and they have said no....to which the class teacher replied "well it's not up to them".

 

Now I am really confused....LEA say NO WAY to schooling before Sept and yet teacher says possible.....

 

What do I do???? Do I start another long battle with the LEA to get J in before Sept??? He is entitled to an education....if I said yes to mainstream he could go next week....if a school in our area would accept him because according to all the heads I have contacted, they feel they could not manage him as they have no understanding of ASD!!! The only school who will have him is his old one and hell will freeze over before I would subject J to the hands of the Head from Hell again.

 

Hubby and I just dont know what to do anymore....Sept seems so far away and J is so happy about being back at school....he wants to go tomorrow and has taken his uniform out of the washing basket three times because he wants to wear it tomorrow...BLESS.

 

I have tried to phone IPSEA tonight for advice, but no one was there....staff shortage due to illness!!!! Will phone them on Monday, but if anyone here has any ideas....they are needed.

 

Sorry for the long ramble.....but it's a long time til Monday and contacting IPSEA!!!!

 

Rabbit :robbie::robbie:

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Rabbit,

 

I would write a letter to the LEA asking them to name this school (the local Special School) on the statement. I would say you have been offered an immediate place at the school. Funding is not your problem, I wouldn't even enter into a discussion about it . If they say this is the school that meets your sons needs they should name the school on the statement.

 

I would have thought any action you take would depend on their answer.

 

The helpline hours for IPSEA may be different next week. If you give them a ring there should be a message on their answer machine telling you the times.

 

Good luck, keep us posted

 

Nellie xx

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I have been asking them to ammend his statement and they keep saying they will do it closer to the time he is due to start school in Sept!!!!!

 

His statement was written on 1st october 04 and we received a letter from the LEA dated the 10th October to say he has a place at the special school in Sept 05.

 

They will not ammend the statement because then they know I will have them by the short and curlies and my godness wouldnt I give them a good twist!!!!

 

 

I am just so ###### angry that the men in grey suits forget that at the bottom of all this there is a little boy who wants to go to school.

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Rabbit,

 

I am so sorry, they might dig their heels in. Leaving you with the option of going to tribunal, which as you pointed out would be a waste of time money and energy, as it would then be summer.

 

Try writing to the Head of Education, I think they are now called the Corporate Head of Education, explain the case to him. You could try your local councillors and MP.

 

Don't give up!! Hopefully IPSEA will have some better advice for you next week.

 

Nellie xx

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Hi Rabbit,

 

If you can not make contact with IPSEA next week then please post here. I can not promise anything but my bestest bestest friend in the whole wide world is a volunteer with IPSEA. I have to say that cos she might just be reading this post :whistle:

 

Serioulsy if you are having problems with IPSEA tell us.

 

Carole

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She said it may be possible for her to have J more often in the class as he has appeared to settle so well.

 

I explained that I have asked the LEA if he can start full time sooner and they have said no....to which the class teacher replied "well it's not up to them".

 

Now I am really confused....LEA say NO WAY to schooling before Sept and yet teacher says possible.....

Hello Rabbit,

 

There is a possible explanation - perhaps the school would be prepared to fund J's placement out of it own SEN budget (perhaps on a part-time basis)? I can't think of any other explanation for the teacher's comment, when there is this contradiction between the school and the LEA.

 

Why don't you make an appointment to speak with the new headteacher. The headteaher may have a way around this issue perhaps he/she would be able to influence the LEA into providing a full-time placement.

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I will make an appointment to go and speak with new head.....she is very new to the school and is full of enthusiasm at the moment.

 

What really annoys me is because I have not removed J's name from his old school register his LSA is still being paid for by the LEA as well as his school placement there......surely the funds could be transferred to the special school and J could get a place quicker.

 

I asked if the LSA could come to our home and work with J following lessons planned by his old class techer....Head from Hell refused this because he said LSA was not insured to be in my home!!!!

 

The LSA is now working with another child who has not got a statemnet because the childs parents refused for him to be assesed.....whilst I am glad the child is getting the support he needs.....I am miffed at the fact I worked so very hard for 2 years to get J his statement and his LSA..... and now someone else is reaping the benefits whilst my son is getting no support from the authorities!!!!!!!

 

But then thats all my fault because I took him out of school......they seem to forget I HAD TO DO THIS TO SAVE MY SON FROM SELF HARMING HIMSELF!!!!!!!!

 

 

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh :angry::angry::angry:

 

Not a Happy :robbie:

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Hi Rabbit,

 

I understand what you're going through. We've got the wrong placement, son suicidal, couldn't take his name off school register because the LEA would totally wash their hands.

 

When Alex went back to school his LSA (full time) had been reduced to 0.5. The LSA had decided he wants to be a teacher, so is now taking classes the other 0.5 of the time and Alex is left on his own. Everything has gone from bad to worse, but the school are said to be doing everything possible to help.

 

Annie :wallbash:

Edited by annie

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Rabbit,

 

What really annoys me is because I have not removed J's name from his old school register his LSA is still being paid for by the LEA as well as his school placement there......surely the funds could be transferred to the special school and J could get a place quicker

I would have thought that you'd have a strong case to complain to the director of education on this matter. The LEA ought to instruct the previous headteacher to make the LSA redundant from her post, for the funding to be transferred to J's new placement.

I asked if the LSA could come to our home and work with J following lessons planned by his old class techer....Head from Hell refused this because he said LSA was not insured to be in my home!!!!

Does your LEA have a policy where if a child is off school for a certain amount of time, the LSA must be excused from his/her duty to save on funding. I worked in one school that had this policy, if the child was off school for more than three consecutive days I wasn't required to come into school. I didn't think it was a fair system (where I personally was concerned as a wage earner) because I was more than willing to work, but the authority had this policy and I had to abide by it.

 

Just a thought on the insurance matter - the LSA was employed on a 1-2-1 basis for the purpose of supporting your son who isn't any longer attending the school. I wonder if this would make any insurance policy pertaining to her employment null and void due to the fact that she isn't any longer supporting your son but a different child instead?

The LSA is now working with another child who has not got a statement because the childs parents refused for him to be assesed.....whilst I am glad the child is getting the support he needs.....I am miffed at the fact I worked so very hard for 2 years to get J his statement and his LSA..... and now someone else is reaping the benefits whilst my son is getting no support from the authorities!!!!!!!
Have you tried rallying around for some support by contacting your local councillors on this issue? You could write to the Chair of the Education Committee within your authority asking the Committee to conduct a Scrutiny review. Contact John Wright of IPSEA, he may supply you with the relevant questions to put forward to the Chair of the Education Committee.

 

http://www.ipsea.org.uk/scrutinyreview.htm#DownloadTemplate

 

You could also contact The Ombudsman - Commisson for Local Administration in England Tel: 020 7915 3210, to see if you're eligible to make a complaint against your authority. The funding for J is there after all - it's just being misused by your son's previous headteacher.

Edited by Helen

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Thanks for that Helen.....will get stright on to it....

 

I am just NOT going to let the LEA beat me down......

 

J will be in the school asap and NO ONE will stand in my way....

 

Time to become more assertive and start kickin some ass.....

 

:robbie:

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:angry: i am so mad you must be sooooo angry,i was told by a solicitor once he was having so many parents going to see him over their children being bullied at school by certain teachers,they were seeking legal advice,i asked him what does he do to help he said he starts off with a letter to the education and he takes it from there,but i wasnt suprised to hear he had 4 parents in one week seeing him about their child getting bullied off a teacher,you think its going to be your childs peers that could bully your child you dont think its going to be the teachers or (head teachers) no wonder school is my biggest fear for my daughter,its the not knowing what she is going through and her lack of ability to tell me whats gone on that kills me from jenny

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Ummmmm. the LEA might just have me backed into a corner.....AND I DONT LIKE IT!!!!!!

 

Thanks Helen....I spoke with John Wright at IPSEA.....he didnt feel that a scrutiny review would be that helpful at the moment.....but certainly something we look to doing in the future.

 

Basically by me taking my son out of mainstream to protect his mental welfare I have now become responsible for J's education. The LEA are duty bound under section 19 of the education act to provide some form of education for J....be it 25 hours home tuition or a placement at the special school.

 

If I hadnt taken J out of school I could have asked for an early review.....not able to do so because J has been home since Oct. If we had had an early review I could have insisted the specail school was named on his statement......if they refused then I could have appealed. Now I have no other option but to plod on....keep bashing out the letters....keep banging on the dooors.

 

I'll write ANOTHER letter to LEA asking what educational provision they are going to provide J under section 19 of the education act......put in a few we are concerned's etc....give them 10 working days to respond and if we hear nothing.....then hey ho back to the solicitor we will go.....

 

They WILL NOT BEAT ME DOWN......

 

Warrior Bunny is out and on her mission....nothing will stand in my way....LEA beware!!!!

 

:robbie:

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You must be so angry.

 

It shows that the LEA are more interested in their budget than your child.

 

Have you thought about playing them at their own game? If you can find a helpful doctor this might work.

 

1. Say to the school that you are going to start sending your son full time from Monday.

 

2. At 9.00 on Monday phone the school and say he is sick. If a doctor can sign him off with stress all the better.

 

3. Request an immediate statement review!

 

If that fails withdraw him again and try something else.

 

It's petty and underhand, but you didn't start this!

 

Simon

Edited by mossgrove

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Crafty.... I didnt think of that!!!!!!!

 

Just worried though as to what it would do to J......he really was so bad....and after all avenues had been exhausted I removed J because he was asking how he could kill himself.....so sad to hear a boy of 8 say he wants to hang and die.

 

I really do not think our relationship would be repairable if I told him he was going back to his mainstream school........

 

He hated me because I was the one who sent him to his daily dose of torture!!!!

It has taken us 4 months of real family bonding time for him to realise I sent him to school because I thought it was the right thing to do.....now I know different.....

 

Oh poo now I am confused.....as much as I would love to send J back to school just to prove my point that Mainstream is not for him......I dont think I would be fair using him as a pawn.....just me telling J he would be going back would be enough to send him into a jibbering wreck......

 

:wacko: feeling very muddled.

 

:robbie:

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Forgot to add we already have a GP's letter which states

 

 

"J is to remain absent from school for the foreseeable future due to the psychological damage that is being caused by being in an inappropriate school provision."

 

 

Thought that would have doen the trick......how wrong was I????????

 

:robbie:

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Hi Rabbit

 

Contact the Dfes on 0870 000 2288 and ask for the Officer in charge of Autistic Spectrum Disorders who deals with your area.

 

I have been told that although Ministers can not personally intervene in each case, these officers can intervene with an LEA on your behalf if you are having difficulty.

 

Let me know how it goes.

 

Helen L

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Rabbit

 

I am not sure if I explained it well enough.

 

At no point would you send him into school, try to send him into school or tell him he is going.

 

I was talking about saying that he is at the school, but off sick on the strength of the doctors letter, rather than being withdrawn from school. I appreciate that they are different ways of describing the same thing, but one MIGHT qualify you for a statement review and the other definitely won't.

 

Simon

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Simon....I understood what you meant......I'm not very good with words.....I have

?ADD and am waiting for assessment myself....makes life interesting in our house!!!!!

 

At no point have I ever told school or the LEA that I have officially withdrawn J from school.....I just walked in to school early one morning and plonked copies of the GP's letter on Head Teachers, SENCO's and class Teachers desks.....ran like hell then because I didnt want a confrontation.

 

NEVER have the school asked me how J is....if we want school work for him....NO response from them at all....strange since J's older brother is at the SAME school!!!!!

 

The LEA have obviouly worked out that I am not returning J to the school....I have discussed the incidents which led up to J's breakown.....the running away from school....the being called stupid and silly by headmaster....the physical restraining.

 

The LEA contacted me to say they had been in touch with admissions to find another mainstream placement for J....no school in our area will take him because they have no knowledge of ASD and can not see how they can offer him the support he needs in school. The only school whichis prepared to take J is his old one!!!!! Yeah Right!!!!!

 

So if I have never said that I have withdrawn J from school....he is off sick....how come I can not ask for an early review???? Is it because J has been absent from school for 4 weeks out of a 6 week period....I can remember reading something about that when we first tried to get J's statemented.

 

Oh poo my head is spinning.....and the hose work is piling up around me....must go and do some work!!!!!

 

Rabbit :robbie:

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Helen....busy day for me....thanks so much for your advice.... I have just gotten of the phone from talking with the Dfes.....

 

Basically they said the same as IPSEA....J is entitled to access Education and his needs should be met.

 

Now adding to my letter to LEA the fact that J's statement clearly states his SEN and how these needs should be met through a differentiated curriculum.....

 

Exactly HOW are the LEA proposing to MEET the NEEDS of my child????????

 

What educational provision are THEY going to PROVIDE??????

 

 

Will keep you posted....and might just need to call upon your support a few more times along the way.....Cheers.

 

Rabbit :robbie:

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Hi Rabbit,

 

First of all, apologies if I have got the wrong end of the stick!

 

If a child is absent from school because of ill health, and this includes depression and mental health problems, the LEA has a legal responsibility to provide home tuition.

 

I have posted the relevant legislation elsewhere, but I'm pants at doing links! (Nellieeeee?!)

 

My son was out of school, with letters from his GP and consultant along the same lines as the letter your GP wrote about your son.

 

He had 5 hours of home tuition until he went to a specialist residential school for AS and HFA.

 

I know of at least one other member with a child receiving home tuition for mental health reasons.

 

So I don't understand your LEA saying your son can't have any home tuition. :(

 

Have you contacted the Disability Rights Commission (08457 622633) as they might be able to help you with the legality of this aspect of your school problems??

 

Good luck!

 

Bid :wacko:

Edited by bid

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Rabbit,

 

I symathise with your situation. I had to take my son out of school for a year (a long time ago) whilst I fought for appropriate provision. I managed to get him back into an appropriate school with John Wright's help. My case was different as the LEA had omitted to finalise the statement after over a year, that along with quite a few other compalints of maladministration left us in a powerful position.

 

Good luck, I hope something is worked out soon.

 

I think this is the link that Bid was talking about, I have added another topic which might help.

 

Home Tutoring Laws?

 

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...st=0entry9489

 

Hospital and Home Education, any experience?

 

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...st=0entry7018

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Given all of the above it seems to me that your LEA are choosing not to do a statement review without any grounds for doing so, other than they want you to go away and stop bothering tem until September.

 

Have you written to formall request a review, of have you been told verbally you can't have one?

 

 

Simon

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Bid

 

If it wasn't for the fact your a 'workin' wuman'. I'd be round yours tomorrow to show you how to do links!! :P

 

How is the job? I see it's keeping you up late some nights! :(

 

Nellie xx

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Hi Rabbit,

 

Glad the Dfes helped - but if you get nowhere - then pester them like mad - they supposedly can intervene with the LEA on your behalf and they are the big bosses of the LEA.

 

Lord Filkin apparently wants to know where the difficulties are for our kids - well a few more calls to his department with complaints about LEAS may just point him in the right direction.

 

Best wishes

 

Helen

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Simon....with regards to the review....In october 2004 we recieved J's proposed statement...despite us asking for the special school to be named in part 4 the LEA had gone ahead and named J's current mainstream school as the provider....

 

Not a happy bunny so off I trotted to see solicitor chappie.....IPSEA told us to get statement finalised so we could go to appeal....Solicitor agreed, but in the meantime we got solicitor to write a letter requesting the placement at the special school......now I know I shouldnt have got the statement finalised.....I should have battled on to get the special school added as the provider or gone to tribunal.

 

Once we had the finalised staement the solicitor said he thought we would be unlikely to win a case at SENdist because by the time we would get a date for a hearing it would be March/April time and possible argument would be that J would not be missing out on much school time, between then and Sept.

 

Solicitor wrote just one letter to LEA stating that if we did not get a placement for J at the special school then we would be preparing a case of negligence....did the trick and three days later we had the confirmation of placement at Special school....but not until Sept 05!!!!!!!

 

When we received the notification that the finalised statement was being prepared, the LEA told us that if we gave it a period of six months and if J had not improved at his mainstream school.....then the school could request a review and possibly new measures could be drawn up.......what ever that is supposed to mean!!!!!

 

I made a comment to LEA officer about J fitting into school.....not school fitting into J.....J cant cope with mainstream....and mainstream cant cope with J.....why was it about school not coping with his behaviour....it should be about J not copeing and his needs not being met!!!!!! Should have saved my breath.....they dont care about anything but their ###### budgets!!!!!!

 

Just after we had told the lEA to finalise the statement I had no choice but remove him....he was so depressed....his LSA knew nothing about ASD....thats not strictly true...she informed us that she had read "curious incident of the dog"....but didnt understand it!!!!! J was being tormented,beaten and bullied. The Head had told him he was stupid and silly and he should grow up....stop wrapping your Mom around your finger....I am no fool....you are playing games with everyone!!!!!!!ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

 

Did not actually get a copy of the fianlised staement unti Jan when I phoned and requested one.....LEA officer who wrote it has had a nervous breakdown and left....."so she must mistakenly forgotten to send it out to me".....but as the new officer said "highly unlikely"....more like "it got lost in the post"....or "you have misplaced it"!!!!!

 

So thats where I am at...no school placement....have got a statement....18 hours 1:1...not bad for a child who according to school SENCO has no educational difficulties what so ever!!!!......cant get a review....checked out the Cof P and J has to be in the provision for 4 out of 6 weeks so that his educational needs can be assesed....and I have one little man sitting here desperate to go back to his new school....in the classroom with the "loo alls and bish"...bue walls and fish.

 

I will be sending off my letter to LEA highlighting section 19 of Education Act....just keeping my fingers crossed.......

 

 

:robbie:

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Hi Rabbit, I can really feel for you and your son. My son wanted to kill himself just over a year ago he was so depressed. We got the child psychiatrist and CAMHs involved.J is much younger and so must be so worrying for you.I was wondering if you had come across the Phelp's Ruling. There may be some points in it that may help your case.It is quite a long read but can be found on www.educational-psychologist.co.uk .There may be other articles of interest to other sen issues.The psychologist who assessed our son mentioned the ruling when our son's needs were not being met by the school.

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Rabbit

 

I guess what the LEA are doing is stalling in the hope that even if taken to tribunal it would take so long for the wheels to turn that the summer holdays will be upon us.

 

I wish I had the means to shake up the LEA on your behalf. It's plain that the LEA could do something for your child this year and is using the rules to block any progress, which must make it doubly frustrating.

 

In writing the statement, the LEA have, in effect, agreed that you son needs special school provision. All you are asking them to do is bring that provision forward, on the grounds that he is plainly unable to cope with mainstream school any more. The only reason they wouldn't is budgetary.

 

I am so angry on your behalf, all I can advise is to get the best advice possible and go in with all guns blazing!

 

 

Simon

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Firstly I would like to say a massive thanks to all who have given me advice and support over the past few days.....I have acheived more in the past two days that I have in the last year........THANK YOU ALL. :thumbs:

 

Last night Hubby arranged for us to go out.....A Valentines Surprise :wub::wub:

 

J had been pre warned over 4 days that we were going out......neighbour who has a fantastic insight to ASD was sitting for us.....she adores J and he her. N has previously worked with Autistic children at the local NAS Residential Centre.....so her expertise means we can rest assured that J's reactions and behaviour is well understood.

 

Things did not go well......poor N has the bruises to prove it!!!!!! J ran away from home....N was getting him a drink and whilst out of the room he climbed through the window and escaped.......she finally found him.....curled up at the bottom of our garden.....he wanted Mummy to come home......several episodes later....which included J hitting his head with a hammer!!!!.... he was so distrught that she phoned us to go home.......

 

J was awake most of last night......just had to keep checking we were around....I climbed into bed with him...I needed my sleep!!!!!

 

This morning I had to get up very early as we had a builder coming.......I left J asleep.......an hour later I went up to find my little man in a pool of blood.....he had taken his plastic ruler and snapped it.....he has scratched and cut both of his arms very badly......he has needed butterfly stitches in two of the cuts.....

 

I asked him why he had done this....."it didnt hurt Mom....I thought you had left me again".

 

I spoke with our GP at length this morning......the only solution we now have is to get a referral to CAMHS for support.....problem.....there is a 9 month wait to be seen...... :angry:

 

GP said that even though J has threatened and talked about wanting to die.....nothing will be done until he actually attempts to do so.....what am I supposed to do in the meantime....sit and wait until he hurts himself so badly or even worse......... :tearful:

 

In J's statement it states that J needs intervention grom CAMHS.....I believe that he has never seen anyone from this dept....only a CP from the Joint Agency Team/ Family Consultancy Team.....and she doesnt believe J has a problem.....it US!!!!!!! We adopted J and CP believes that we have underlying issues that are connected to this fact.....TOSH....I believe this is her excuse for not having to do anything to help us......If I hear the word FUNDING one more time I WILL SCREAM :wallbash:

 

We have had various sessions with our adoption social worker.....he wrote a lengthy report telling CP how very wrong she is!!!!!!

 

GP's advice.......GET YOURSELF A SOLICITOR.......GO FOR NEGLIGENCE FROM BOTH LHA AND LEA......YOU HAVE NO OTHER OPTION.

 

GP is very understanding.....his son is on the spectrum....but he can afford to send his HFA son to private school....which has an ASD unit attached.....I CANT!!!!!!

 

J is on the ASD Assessment waiting list.....currently a 3 year wait for assessment......we are paying privately to undergo the DISCO assessment in May.

 

 

I have to stay really focussed.....I have to get this sorted......I have to find a solicitor who can act for us.....I NEED A SOLICITOR WHO KNOWS WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT........I need to raise funds to pay for this.......

 

So if Im not posting much.....dont think I am not around.....I will be looking in and going through some of your old posts.....trying to find the answers I need to get me through this........

 

Good Luck to you all in everything you are trying to acheive for your children.....NEVER did I think I would have to do this when I so desperatly wanted to be a Mom. :tearful:

 

Rabbit :robbie:

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Rabbit

 

Sorry things seem to be going from bad to worse.

 

Our eldest (7) had major issues with us going out in the evening, to a point where we didn't go out at all for a spell.

 

He is a bit better now, but at one point we were able to resume going out by taking walkie talkies with us t the restaurant so he could speak to us at any time. (Restaurant was walking distance). He isn't actually need to use it much, bit knowing he could speak to us kept him calm. Walkie Talkies can be bought cheaply from Argos. (about �20-30 a pair).

 

He is better now, but we still make sure we take mobile phones with us, and tell the babysitter to ring us on Jacks's behalf any time he want to speak to us.

 

I hope you get you CAMHS referral soon. We get a lot of support from their complex special needs service which has been a real lifeline over the past few months.

 

Simon

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Rabbit,

 

J is a very special child with a very special mum.

 

You mean the world to him and to you he is "the world".

 

Keep posting - the gang on this forum are the best supporters in the world.

 

Love

 

HelenL

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Hi Rabbit,

 

Re:-Finding a solicitor that knows what they're talking about.

 

www.autismlondon.org.uk has a list of solicitors that have the speciality in autism and AS. They are not all in London. Also we got a DDA toolkit book from Levenes Solicitors in Wood Green London.They cover Education. It is co-written by David Ruebain who writes in the Times Educational Supplement. They have a web site too.

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Our CAMHS waiting list is 2 years, I waited patiently so my son could be seen in October last year, and then when E s teach said see your GP for a CAMHS referral, I kinda flipped my lid at another 2 year wait and complained to the hospital.I got a phone call this morning to say I would get an emergency appointment. Just one thing at a time, or you will be completely overwhelmed; if you dont take care of yourself, who will take care of J?

 

sending you love and hugs

xxx

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Hi Rabbit,

 

I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time.

 

I removed my son from school 1 year ago because he was so distressed. The GP wrote a letter and we managed to get some home tutoring via "Home and Hospital Education". It was a fight, because they really only tutor children with physical illness, not psychological. They have to be "unfit to attend school", which my son was. He was physically unwell due to the stress of it all.

 

Maybe you could look into this?

 

I think you need to see your GP again about the CAMHS appointment. It maybe that he/she could write a letter to get an emergency appointment. If J is self-harming, he needs to be seen now, not in 9 months time.

 

Also, have you officially taken J off the school's roll? If you haven't, they are still responsible for his education, therefore THEY should be doing something to help (ie getting some hume tutoring, which they can get funding for).

 

My son is STILL on roll at his old school (even though they have done SFA to help!). If i take him off roll, then I am responsible for his education, and we won't be entitled to anything. He will be going to a special school soon, so only then will i take him off roll at his old school.

 

It might also be worth contacting your educational welfare officer for advice. My son's EWO has been really fantastic, and they will know what J is entitled to, and what the school can do.

 

All the best.

 

Loulou xx >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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Thanks everyone......taking each day as it comes......will push past each obstacle as it crosses my path.....

 

I love my boy and will till the day I die.....nothing is going to stop me now.

 

Loulou......your situation sounds exactly the same as mine......we have a special school placement.....from Sept.......thats just not good enough!!!!!

 

Have lots of info to digest.....will get the solicitor on board.....seeing MP in a couple of weeks time.....I WILL WIN THIS BATTLE......just need to stay focussed.

 

Rabbit :robbie:

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Go Rabbit!!

 

Just don't give them the satisfaction of giving in! :bat:

 

We're all behind you >:D<<'>

 

Bidx

 

As regards the self-harm, we found that we had to keep ringing, and asking the various professionals exactly who would be taking responsibility, because when something really serious happened we would be taking legal action for negligence.

 

This seems to focus their minds somewhat, and we certainly would have taken legal action in the event of an even more serious episode or suicide attempt :( .

 

Ask to speak to the consultant at CAMHS, or at least his/her secretary...then cry down the phone and say you are at crisis point and you can't go on :(:tearful:

 

It's awful, I know only too well because we have been there, but you just have to keep on and on asking for emergency appointments/help.

 

Good luck >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

Edited by bid

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Hi rabbit,

 

So sorry you're going through all this stress. I can empathise as we are also fighting battles on the education and health fronts. :wacko:

 

My daughter is getting home and hospital tuition. She has officially been off school due to depression since October. A doctor's letter was good enough, depression of couse counts as a medical condition for home and hospital purposes.

 

A 9 month waiting list isn't good enough. Don't accept this. Keep the pressure on and keep telling them how desperate the situation is. We have had to do the same after being faced with long waiting lists - sometimes you have to take your complaints to a higher level - it's interesting how appointments suddenly materialise when pressure comes from above!

 

K

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