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annie

Help - Advice please

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I've calmed down enough now to try and see how to get things moving forward for Alex, but I can't get my head around how I can prove that the school and the LEA have not got Alex's best interest at heart.

 

School say Alex just needs a kick up the backside. LEA say Alex needs councelling and the school are doing everything right.

 

I've just received a copy of the minutes from this week's meeting. As expected, lots of comments were omitted in the school and LEA's favour. Bearing in mind that the meeting was to keep on top of Alex's progress, these are a few of the things that the minutes say.

 

'There was then a long discussion about an incident Last Friday when Alex was rude and defiant to Mrs Y (head of year). It all centred around a detention that he should have served on the Thursday but Alex said he knew nothing about it as he didn't have his linkbook. He had been told at the morning break on the Thursday that his Form Tutor had his linkbook to give to him at the next break - both Alex and Form Tutor apparently forgot! The detention has now been re-scheduled for Friday 11th February at 3pm in room *. Alex was very rude and told Mrs Y (head of year) to go ahead and suspend me). As this was defiance of a head of year Alex was referred to Miss T (Deputy Head).

 

Mrs A (Connexions) said it was unfair the threaten Alex with a suspension - he should be getting more positive praise (as per statement). Ms X (LEA) said the purpose of this meeting was not to discuss Alex's statement.'

 

To start with, the incident (on my previous post) happened on Thursday detention on Thursday????? Alex didn't find out until Tuesday that it should have happened on Monday!

 

"both Alex and Form Tutor apparently forgot" - It's ok for a form tutor to forget, but not Alex.

 

There was no mention of comments made by the head of year to Alex, only where Alex had said "go ahead and suspend me".

 

Surely, if what is written on the statement is not being put in place, then it will affect progress, specifically as Alex has a very low self-esteem. A constant threat of suspension is not going to help his depression or self-esteem.

 

 

'Mrs Y (head of year) has spoken to Alex's teachers since his readmission - he has not been to his Science lesson since 8th December. Alex said that it is because he is stressed because J is in the class. Mrs Y (head of year) suggested he just goes into the lesson and sits down quietly.'

 

'J' has been the subject of a police matter with regard to harassing Alex outside school. He also came round our house and threatened us as well as threats to Alex at school which he has reported. 2 weeks ago the head called into her office Alex and 'J' to try to 'sort' things out, because I had spoken to her as Alex is too stressed to go into the lessons that they are together in. 'J' actually told the deputy head that he would not touch Alex in school, but he would 'rip his head off' if he saw him outside of school. In light of this, how an earth can Alex be expected to 'go into the lesson and sit down quietly'.

 

Sorry for going on.....yet again. But so many things have been left out of the minutes including the school's self diagnosis and constant put downs throughout the meeting. I will ask for them to be amended. But what next??? I'm really at a loss. It obvious the school do not understand anything that Alex is going through and don't want to.

 

I guess I haven't calmed down as much as I thought I had.

 

In this mornings post I have received, the minutes of the meeting, a letter giving Alex a detention for leaving the school grounds on thursday (re: my last post). And a letter from the school about Princes Trust. One positive out of threes not bad I suppose.

 

Annie

Edited by annie

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Alex has just got up and read the minutes of the meeting. His comments were.

 

"That's c**p, they've left lots of stuff out to make the school look good and me bad."

 

My sentiments exactly. :wallbash:

 

Annie

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Question - Will the form tutor who also 'apparently forgot' be attending detention with your son?

 

If the answer to this question is NO which of course it is then my son would not be attending!

 

 

I would not be calm having read thse minutes. I would want to hit someone.

 

take care

 

Carole

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Hi Carole,

 

Alex didn't go into school yesterday because he's too stressed after everything that's happened this week, so he missed the detention anyway. No doubt it will be re-schedueled.

 

Of course his form tutor will be attending the detention - not lol.

 

My list is growing of who I'd like to hit.

 

Do you know where you can buy voodoo dolls? :devil:

 

Annie

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My husbands EX wife - who is also a social worker has one - should Iask her where she bought it?

 

Carole

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Gosh annie

tracking this thread is really making me feel sad :crying:

Don't these 'people' :angry::wallbash: understand what they are doing to our children. I just said to hubby, wouldn'y it be great if all our a/s asd kids grew up & became teachers, then recalled all these ignorant profesionels into'class'.

I can't comment on the legal aspects of the UK system as it stands however I do have a deeper insight as to the 'workings' of thanks to a good friend of mine ( further post !).

Hang on in there >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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Carole, Just an idea, but wouldn't it be nice if we were given voodoo dolls when our children were diagnosed? I'm sure most of us would find a use for them :devil:

 

Helen, I'm trying to prove that the school are not meeting his needs, but the LEA have refused point blank to change the placement on his statement. The school are blatently lying as I see it to keep the money the LEA are giving them for him.

 

Dylansplace, I'm hanging in there thanks to this great forum and for the sake of my son. I love your idea about bringing the ignorants into class. Imagine if we treated our kids the way these people treat them, we'd be had up in court for abuse. :angry:

 

Annie

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