How Long?

[JsMum]

We have been considered a priority for Social services to come and help in the home with the needs of J for over 2 weeks now, we have really struggled over the last few weeks though I have to admit since the melatonin we are now getting more sleep and thats made an amazing difference but J has only managed two mornings at school this week and he is still very hard to manage.

 

I have made my feelings well known to SS and recently written to other proffessionals but still after 2 weeks nothing has changed with what support has been put in place, I still havent got any respite and I am still waiting for someone to come and help with behaviour management.

 

I find it really frustrating because if anything went horribly wrong then the consequences could be catatrophic, and who would get the blame, the parent.

 

even after asking, no I will phrase that, assesserively screaming HELP, still I am pushed to cope further than I keep wondering if I am capable.

 

Over the last few weeks I have tried harder than ever because I want things to work out at home, and I have had some private councilling and manipulative therapy just to cope with the physical reactions of the stress, I am trying to keep J busy with activities but because he isnt in any clubs or group activities its a hall with just me and him, obvously J loves it but we dont meet anyone.

 

We did meet up with a friend earlier in the week and her children but there was an altercation with her and J.

 

J had tried so hard to ignore one of her boys taunts, then when her boy throw his shoe at Js head that is when J flipped, and WAS and I mean WAS going to kill this kid, the mother couldnt get J off. So she shook J Severely which totally distressed J and freaked him out totally.

 

It was really horrible, all I wanted was a fun session now there was all this fighting and falling out.

 

I have never felt as isolated as I have the last week, I havent talked to many adults this week, just proffessionals trying to get things in place to help support me and J.

 

I feel I cant trust anyone near J now, never mind I dont trust J near other children, its now I dont trust others reactions.

 

I do understand that my friend was trying to protect her son, but it was dealt with all wrong and J has the message that violence works.

 

I have plodded along day after day this week, the toll is harder near christmas and I am trying to get into the spirit with some painting and getting the living room all prepared so I feel that I am giving my all, but deep inside I feel terribly let down by not given the support , its not fair on J, I really do want us to be together on christmas day but the more I do it alone the more I feel I cant give him the best of me.

 

How much longer do I have to wait for some support at home, today I was told we are on a waiting list, the only hope that gives me is that at least I am not the only one who is needing help.

 

I would apriciate some hugs, I think I really need some.

 

JsMum

[mummy]

Oh dear you are having a tough time!

 

It makes me cross that things have to become critical before anything is done.

It would be easy for me to say hang in there, but I guess you are already hanging by your finger nails.

No advice I'm afraid. but please have a HUGE hug and I will pray you get some help quickly.

 

Mummy xx

[brooke]

<'> <'> <'> <'> I really hope you get the help you need soon, you have always given me great advice im sorry i cant offer you any

Take care

[Karen A]

Hi.I do not have any wisdom to contribute but can give you some <'> <'> <'> Karen.

[phoebe]

OMG poor you. I am sorry, I do not have any suggestions at the mo, but wanted to send you some hugs XXXXXXXXXXXX

<'> <'> <'> <'>

[llisa32]

Hi J's mum - sending lots of hugs to you <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Sounds like you've had a really tiring (both emotional and physically) couple of weeks just lately and I'm not surprised

you're feeling a bit down and worn out.

 

You have my every sympathy - it must be really hard coping with it on your own.

 

I for the first time in ages have had J more or less on my own the last 2 weeks due to dad no.1 being away and other family being poorly and we've had a really bad week at school. A a result J has been clinging onto me for dear life this week and not settling in the evenings at all - I am worn out after just one week, I can only imagine how u must be feeling

 

Big for still coping and I have my fingers crossed that they sort their act out soon and get you the respite etc sorted out so you get a breather

 

And more hugs for being a lovely mum <'> <'> <'> <'>

[pearl]

Here's another <'> for you.

[rainbow queen]

<'> >< <'> >< <'> >< <'> >< <'> ><

 

keep pushing you and your son deserve all the help you can try and get.

 

are you a single mum ?

i am too.

[soraya]

sending lots of <'> <'> Just remember you are not alone, so many of us are going through the same thing, l found the NAS very good, our local branch does respite, have you got a local branch you can contact ? SS are usless!!!

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

ooh hunny

<'> ><

 

you guys need a wee break from each other

is there not anyone at all who you trust to come around and have supper with that wont cause any issues so you have some other input??

x

[Clare63]

JsMum, I am so sorry to hear things are tough are the moment, I wish there was more I could say or do. Fingers crossed for some much needed help comes along very soon, in the meantime keep talking on here we are all here to support you through this difficult time.

<'> <'> <'>

 

Clare x x x

Edited December 8, 2007 by Clare63

[JsMum]

sending lots of <'> <'> Just remember you are not alone, so many of us are going through the same thing, l found the NAS very good, our local branch does respite, have you got a local branch you can contact ? SS are usless!!!

 

Thankyou for your support, I am attending my areas nas group next week if Js sessional worker can do the dates.

I have found Nas very understanding and I have a lot to thank that society, they are great.

 

I will look into the respite they offer.

 

JsMum

[JsMum]

ooh hunny

<'> ><

 

you guys need a wee break from each other

is there not anyone at all who you trust to come around and have supper with that wont cause any issues so you have some other input??

x

 

The thing is I feel isolated because Js needs are quite intence and in the past friends have become between that, they dont also always understand and Instead of feeling supported I just end up feeling judged and some of my ex friends have suggested that I give him a good slap, like thats all he needs.

 

understandably I dont keep freinds like that for very long, and that limits the numbers, I am very protective of J and I dont always like to meet up with others incase of sanarios like in the beginning of the week, sometimes its others behaviour that concerns me.

 

I will however ask a friend that does have great understanding, its wether she is available though.

 

JsMum

[JsMum]

Thankyou everyone, this site sure does understand,

 

I am aware that there are others here feeling just as frustrated, I think thats what keeps me going and for the sheer adoration and love I have for J,

 

It's not like I have any other choice but to keep going, no matter how hard it gets, so I will do what I am able too,

Its just that I am in a believer in asking for help in times of difficulties, yet it doesnt really come only in the lord above,

 

I asked G for more strength and I found it I am sure about that but I also got help in the aid of Melatonin when J went on that I was able to get some very needed sleep, yesterday he helped paint the living room and today its just finishing toutching to do before we then start with the christmas tree, I dont know where in the living room its going to go though, near the window, normally.

 

I have strong feelings that this christmas day is going to be a peaceful day just having a nice dinner with all the trimmings and the table all posh with dinner napkins and nice food and drink, but all that will take effort and time, what if Js behaviour causes disruption, and I cant manage the preparation, then that will stress me out, I did it fine last year fine so I dont know why I am stressing, Christmas hey, all this worry for one day? but I do want it to be special for J and I want him to have a nice time.

 

 

Thanks everyone for your hugs.

 

JsMum

[stressedmumto2]

J's mum, just wanted to send you some hug's, sorry to hear you are having a tough time at the moment. I thinki many of us stress over x-mas.

 

I hope you have a nice time and get some respite soon, take care <'> <'>