Toilet training

[col]

Have been trying to toilet train him for a couple of months with no joy. He just doesn't realise that he's wet etc. Will tell him that he's wet and he will say no. Have to basically frog march him to the toilet as he goes "i can't" "i'm tired".

Nursery are getting concerned as he starts reception this September.

[sueeltringham]

Have been trying to toilet train him for a couple of months with no joy. He just doesn't realise that he's wet etc. Will tell him that he's wet and he will say no. Have to basically frog march him to the toilet as he goes "i can't" "i'm tired".

Nursery are getting concerned as he starts reception this September.

 

Firstly, hugs to you both. Be reassured Nursery/school will have to make provision for him, so don't let that worry you -they cannot discriminate against him for not being toilet trained. Children on the spectrum find it much harder to toilet train as they really don't see the need socially, plus they have a lot of sensory/integration problems which make it harder for them to sense 'wetness' and the 'urge' to go to the toilet. I'm not sure if you've contacted your GP/paediatrician, but we found ours pretty helpful, although we had a slightly different problem. It's difficult to recommend anything as i don't know what you've tried, but when we had problems I put my son back in nappies and just let him relax about the whole thing. We tried a few months later and basically built the toilet visit into his routine so he knew he had to go then and try. This worked well for us, but it took months before he would go to the toilet out of his routine because he needed to go. We had to use loads of rewards and incentives (TV worked for us, but it might be something different for you both). I had to keep the whole thing incredibly up-beat and positive. Any negative reaction from me used to cause my son to jump up and down and laugh, so it rewarded him (negative reinforcement), so next time he wet himself again to try and get the same reaction. Hope that is of some help,

 

Sue

Edited January 8, 2008 by sueeltringham

[Emum]

He may genuinely not feel that he is wet, or feel the urge to go. I've been reading one of the Donna Williams books recently (another HFA) and even as an adult she has this problem. She has solved it by making it a routine to go to the toilet at set times during the day so that there are no accidents. Maybe this would work for your child, if he understands the concept of actually letting go on the toilet. If not, there are various physical things or prompts you can try to teach them that let-go reflex.

 

My DD is 6 and not HF in any way, but has over the last year got it, at last. We never thought she would, and had a miserable couple of years with her out of nappies and having numerous accidents every day. She did eventually work out what she was supposed to do though, and once the penny had dropped for her, she got it pretty quickly. I got hold of a lot of books on the subject (the best was Toilet Training for Children on the Autistic Spectrum by Maria Wheeler) and also made stacks of visual supports, reward cards, etc - to the extent that anyone visiting our house would exit the loo saying "I did a wee on the toilet, so can I have my chocolate button now please!" but not sure that any of these made any difference in the long run.

 

It is a long haul sometimes to achieve toileting, but personally I would think going back into nappies sends a very confusing message so would persevere with the training, but try some alternative approaches if the first ones don't seem to be working. School shouldn't be refusing him if he is still having issues on toileting, though in a mainstream school they may prefer him in nappies rather than having accidents. You will need to decide whether this is a battle which is important to you. On the one hand wearing nappies may be a retrograde step, and you may find he learns toileting at home but can't generalise the skill at school. On the other, if he wets or soils in front of his peers, he may be teased or bullied. It is a hard call.

[Kathrynh]

Pullups are a very good alternative to nappies when going to school.

[baddad]

Hi all -

 

we've had loads of threads on this, so a good search around the forum's a good idea too...

Taking pot luck (excuse the pun!) I found an older thread with close to a hundred posts... not sure how 'on topic' it stayed, but there must be some good stuff in there somewhere:

 

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...mp;hl=toileting

 

Hope that helps

 

L&P

 

BD

[LizK]

We trained my son with HFA when he was 3yrs4mth, The only way we cracked it was to make it very visual so the potty was in the room all the time so he dind't have to ask to go. He didn't seem to mind wetting his pants, thought they were like nappies so he spent most of that summer barebummed and it did the trick. Remember the first time he started to wet himself he looked down in horror said 'no pants' and scuttled off to the potty! We then rewarded him with choc buttons and that motivated him. If we went out I put him in a pullup and it didn't seem to confuse him. It took several months for him to be fully dry in the day in and out of the house and at least 3 months of him being bare bottomed before he could wear pants and remember not to wee in them. However going at his pace made it remarkably straight forward and we had very little trauma or accidents and he got there eventually

 

HTH

 

Lx

[xevex]

Please try and not worry about this with your son, my son D was 5 when he was dry during day night time wasn't until he was around 7 and half, the health centre supplied large nappies for him for night time, not sure if health centres still do that as this was around 11yrs ago.

Be patient and good luck, you'll get there,

Take care

eve x

[Karen A]

Hi.Yes incontinence nurse will assess for nappies for children that need them.I am not sure at what age children can qualify for the service though-it may vary depending on local policy.Karen.