Meltdowns over DS/PS2 Games

[Bagpuss]

I had to take youngest dd's (7 ASD) Nintendo DS away from her yesterday. She had increasingly become more and more frustrated at not being able to do certain things on her games. She recently threw her DS, then herself, on the floor, and said she wanted to run away and live in the wild. She had been screaming herself hoarse. Yesterday we just couldn't take the meltdowns anymore, and decided the only option was to remove the catalyst. We've tried asking our eldest dd or ds to help her, but it got to the point where it was happening so often it was irritating them. We bought her a PS2 for Christmas, and that had to be put away recently, for exactly the same reasons. The problem is that I'm feeling kind of guilty about her DS today. I've explained she can have it when she's a little older, and can understand the games more, and after initially being very upset, she calmed down and has accepted it. I'm thinking that maybe there was a solution I hadn't thought of. We bought her very kiddy friendly games, for children much younger than she is, for both the DS and PS2, so changing the games for easier ones wasn't an option. She really hero worships eldest dd, and likes to do what she does, and they would both use their DS's in the car, or sit on our bed together, and now I'm concerned how she will feel when eldest dd has her DS, and she doesn't. It feels cruel now, although we have done it with the best intentions.

 

Anyone offer any advice?

Edited January 22, 2008 by Bagpuss

[loobylou2]

Hi Bagpuss, would the older kids go on pictochat with her? then she could at least join in when they are together? My two draw a shape and then get the other one to guess what it is or make a picture out of the shape. might be worth a try.

[darky]

The DS has caused problems here as well. My DD had one, snapped it in half, not out of temper but just being her! We bought a second one, and she snapped the hinge on it, again, not out of temper. We managed to get it repaired, but it is removed and out her reach for a while. They are expensive and difficult to replace now, so we decided to take it off her for a while. Whilst she detroys things, what ever the reason, she is not having them anymore. She has a ps2 and dropped it the other day, consequently the lid is broken. She don't mean to do it, she loves her things, but nothing is safe in her hands

[baddad]

Hi bagpuss -

 

If she's calmed down and accepted it and doesn't seem too put out, I'd leave it there for now...

If it does become an issue when big sis has hers, reconsider then, perhaps allowing with certain rules and time limits.

These games can be hugely frustrating - I get it with Ben sometimes, but he knows a major meltdown means 'time out' from playing and (grudgingly) accepts that consequence when it happens. I don't see that as being unfair to him, because he needs that break but hasn't got the willpower/understanding to appreciate it at that moment...

 

L&P

 

BD

[Bagpuss]

Thanks all <'>

 

Looby, the girlies love picto chat, and it's the only thing that doesn't result in a meltdown, well, unless eldest dd decides to draw devils

 

Darky, sorry to hear the problems you are having too. Our dd used to be destructive, and still is to a certain extent, although she tends to take things apart now, rather than break them. <'>

 

BD, that was my thinking too and that I may confuse her by giving her the DS back now she has accepted it's been put away, but do feel really cruel today. I think the crunch will come when eldest dd is playing on hers and youngest dd is there ie in the car. At the mo, eldest dd is staying in her room when she wants to play on hers, bless her. We really struggled with time limits too. It had reached a point when the school bus pulled up, and she was screaming because she hadn't had enough "DS Time", as she called it. Will just have to monitor it and see what unfolds and how she reacts.

[rainbow queen]

have similar probs

i bought a playstation 2 last xmas-one year before last sorry

 

and both my boys found it real struggle with co ordinating the buttons play watching screen so mine is in the tv cupboard-am saving it till they get older as im sure they will use it in time -just takes alot longer

 

the ds too causes lot of arguing mainly as my son is completly obbsessed with it now and he has threatened to throw it few times -ive said if it gets broke thats it am not buying another

though he dont know i took out 3 years cover from argos for it

but my boys like that picto chat thing

my son stared of with nintendo dogs game and took ages to learn it ,,,i did think he would not progress to the more gaming games....but hes manged it and now favs are the super mario ones -in fact they are obbsessions as he now dont want to play nothing except mario ones.

 

but ive had to take it off him for few weeks at a time because it was all getting to much and also ive took it off him for naughty things -like for 1 day at a time.

 

 

and like bagpuss says my son has took to doing that when we get to school its real task getting it of him ......lots meltdowns.

[brooke]

We have had the same prob with O too. Its a difficult one as the first thing i thought of was is there any easier games. What i normally do is when he goes into massive meltdown i take it away too. We give him it back the next day and if he does it again dh will try to help or we try and change the game if it still doesnt work then we just have to switch it off again - sorry im not much help.

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

same prob here

geo ends up getting meggz through the bits she cant do

i would do as bd says and leave it away for a bit

thinkin of u

x

[Karen A]

<'> Lots of problems with Wii here for similar reasons.Frustration because Ben cannot play as well as big brother.Anger at having to finish to leave for school.I insist that Ben is ready before allowing games and if he gets cross when asked to finish I limit access the next time he wants to play.It is difficult when a game is so frustrating.Karen.

[oxgirl]

We are having this as well, Baggy. Jay has never been interested in comp games, but we got him an old Gameboy for Xmas to try and foster an interest. We put a Finding Nemo game, for age 3+, on it, but he still couldn't do it and got so frustrated and upset about not being able to do. It ended up that I was doing it for him to get him over the tricky bits and then passing it back and it felt like it was defeating the object really, as I really wanted him to persevere and improve himself. It's hard knowing what to do, isn't it, leave them to try and try and get frustrated or stop them and wait until they're a bit more ready. I think, at 14, if Jay isn't ready to tackle a game for three year olds now, then he never will be, so we've left him to it and he has conquered some of the bits he couldn't do before, but he'll probably soon give up on it through sheer frustration really.

 

Sorry, that wasn't much help was it. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[baddad]

Hmmm.... couple of easy game thoughts going back to ben's early PS1 days (you could prob still find second hand and they will play on the Ps2)

 

He had a couple of 'sesame street' titles and a 'Land Before Time' game (not the racing game - that was a bit difficult) this was a 'puzzle' one where you had to get them home... For real newbies they were much easier than average, and both lent themselves to dad (or mum) taking over at first for the slightly trickier manouvres, while still leaving enough puzzle and action for interest...

 

Another option might be 'junior buzz', which uses a different controller, or eye toy, which is movement controlled. because there are no levels as such they're less likely to frustrate...

 

Another thought: You can now get a USB adaptor for using an official PS2 controller (and i'm guessing for other consoles too) on the PC... Any easy (i.e. reader rabbit/DK) titles that allow for a controller would be practice for the official games...

 

L&P

 

BD

[cmuir]

Hi

 

My boy is the same. I've found that when I've been dithering around the house washing dishes, etc that before I know it, he's spent a couple of hours playing on eg my laptop. That's when he tends to lose it (not always!) - seems perhaps he's a little tired, he gets frustrated more easily.

 

I've also taken away the laptop and his playstation and locked it in a filing cabinet overnight (I think it's important to make a point, but not hold grudges too long ie item withdrawn for full day). He wasn't at all happy, in fact, in full blown rage mode. I explained to him that we'd start afresh tomorrow and he'd get it back then. I've had to do that several times and each time it has become easier - he's more accepting (still not entirely happy!) of why.

 

I've tried to explain to R about trying things eg when you first play a new game you'll find that by practising you'll get better and better. Is it possible that you could try and write a social story?

 

Best of luck.

 

Caroline.

[Tally]

I don't think it's cruel. You did it for the right reasons, and she has accepted it.

 

Is there something else she could do in the car? Magnetic board games they could play together? She could draw or colour along side your other daughter. You could even specifically ask her to come and join in for a little while, so your youngest doesn't feel like she is missing out.

[Bagpuss]

Thanks again to everyone who took time to reply <'>

 

DD now has her DS back. I found out, quite by accident, that it was one particular game which was causing problems. I had thought it was all of them. Apparantly she is ok with the others she has. So we've had a chat, and she told me it was just the one game, which made her upset and angry, and she's agreed to not play it. I've put it away for safe measure, until she's older.

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

ooh brillll

i (kidding myself) have always believed that these things are good for kids, help concentration and dexterity

and it lets mum have a cuppa

i am pleased for you both, it is the eternal thing they dont want the game that say age 3, but that is sometimes all their capability

<'>

[x_tracy_x]

We've resorted to cheat sheets. It kind of defeats the object of playing the game as far as I'm concerned, but it means Callum will play happily on a game without throwing anything. I don't know whether you can get cheats for DS games though. He also tends to play a lot of open play / strategy games which don't rely on manual dexterity.

[Bagpuss]

ooh brillll

i (kidding myself) have always believed that these things are good for kids, help concentration and dexterity

and it lets mum have a cuppa

 

<'>

 

Oh, you know me so well Lya

 

BTW, the girlies want to know if the purpley haired laydee is going to Greenwich?

[Bagpuss]

We've resorted to cheat sheets. It kind of defeats the object of playing the game as far as I'm concerned, but it means Callum will play happily on a game without throwing anything. I don't know whether you can get cheats for DS games though. He also tends to play a lot of open play / strategy games which don't rely on manual dexterity.

 

Thanks Tracey, our eldest dd uses cheats for some of her games, but don't think youngest dd would understand them, unfortunately. She's doing ok so far, just by removing the game which was causing her to get upset. Mind you, having just said that, she's just gone upstairs, and is shouting because she can't find her charger

[oxgirl]

Glad you found a soluation that works, Baggy.

 

~ Mel ~