Canopus Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Describe any etiquette you find really silly that nobody should follow but society en-masse still stubbornly sticks with or only started to abandon recently. I'm more interested in etiquette from after 1945 as opposed to Victorian etiquette that was obsolete by the mid 20th century. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted February 8, 2008 OK - how long have you got???!! Shaking hands as a greeting and germ dissemination method (I recently watched the new Narnia Film and love the bit where Lucy tries to explain hand shaking to Mr Tumnus) Asking how people are when you couldn't care less Not taking the last sandwich/cake etc. so it always goes to waste Eating peas correctly And probably loads more I'll come back to. But while we're on the subject, there are some that are disappearing that I would like back, especially, standing to the side and letting people off the train before you try to get on - people don't seem to do this so much and if I do, I often don't even get on the train or get shoved and pushed and tutted at. Oh, and I'd like to get rid of those old ladies on trains who sit and complain loudly for the whole journey about how "In my day": men got up for women, workmen took off their muddy boots before entering the train, the guard helped the ladies on and off blah blah blah blah blah .... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Oooh, I've got another one: "Come and see me any time you need to" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Getting a round in, & being thought mean if you don't. I can't drink that much! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Keeping your elbows off the table. A lot of table manners make practical sense if you think about it, like not putting your knife in your mouth, and tilting a bowl of soup away from you, but that one makes no sense at all. I like leaning on my elbows - it's comfortable and can't see why it should be interpreted as a sign of rudeness. "No raw meat on the table!" my aunt used to say when she saw me doing it. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Ties as an article of male clothing! Boho Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Ties as an article of male clothing! Oh no, they do have a point - the ease with which they turn into nooses is fantastic :devil: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Canopus Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Here's a really stupid one. If somebody at a dinner party drinks out of a finger bowl then everybody else has to drink out of their finger bowl as opposed to telling the person what the finger bowl is used for. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KarenT Report post Posted February 8, 2008 I like this thread, and will be watching with interest. I'm looking at 'good manners' with J at the moment and he's constantly questioning accepted standards. Eg, he eats with his fork in his right hand and has only recently acknowledged that he must set the table with the fork on the left. His usual response is an angry "But which stupid person made up all these rules in the first place?!" He's got a point. As long as you're not spitting food or throwing it around the table, does it really matter which hand you have your fork in? Karen x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Not eating in the street. (unless it's someone with a child in a buggy who is munching on a gregs sausage roll.. that's always been a bug bear of mine... so chavvy!!!) Not going to the cinema on a Sunday. Having to wait until everyone else has their food in front of them before you start eating... so daft especially if you're part of a table of 10 in a resturaunt and you only have one waiter/ess! Not using your fingers to eat from your plate... I mean how are you supposed to get all your meat off a pork chop!!! Flora Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Not eating in the street. (unless it's someone with a child in a buggy who is munching on a gregs sausage roll.. that's always been a bug bear of mine... so chavvy!!!) Bags The Chav Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Bags The Chav the hazzards of genarlisations Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Canopus Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Back in the (late?) 80s you were supposed to leave your change in a vending machine for the next person to use. Anybody who pressed the eject change button was seen as mean and stingy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Not eating in the street. (unless it's someone with a child in a buggy who is munching on a gregs sausage roll.. that's always been a bug bear of mine... so chavvy!!!) i ate a bacon roll from a cafe in the street today im very chavvy but i draw the line at dressing katie ALL in burberry!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Bags The Chav see what i mean baggy,defo seperated at birth come to think of it i write defo rather a lot,i wonder if that comes under chavvy? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LizC Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Bags The Chav he he me too then. we used to always be on the go so on the way back from toddlers on the way to nursery (used to take 45 mins journey) my little ones would eat their lunch in the buggy otherwise they wouldn't get any lunch! or when we are out for the day will grab a pasty and eat that in the street. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 8, 2008 (edited) My dear mama never let us eat in the street when we were kids Not even sweets... She still wouldn't herself Boho Edited February 8, 2008 by bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Ties as an article of male clothing! Ties as an article of female clothing. I had to wear one at school - (such good preparation for adult life that was. ) OK, that was back in the dark ages when schoolgirls all looked like someone from Malory Towers. But my daughter, more recently had to wear one as part of her infant school uniform - how silly is that!? Do any girls still wear ties as part of their uniform? K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Ties as an article of female clothing. I had to wear one at school - (such good preparation for adult life that was. ) OK, that was back in the dark ages when schoolgirls all looked like someone from Malory Towers. But my daughter, more recently had to wear one as part of her infant school uniform - how silly is that!? Do any girls still wear ties as part of their uniform? K x Yes, DD wears one at secondary school Well, when I was in the sixth form I had to wear something that rejoiced in the title of a 'Prefect's Girdle'. If you were a prefect you had to wear a sort of sash/belt affair tied to one side and hanging down fetchingly! I was held down and ceremoniously de-girdled by the other prefects for smoking one of those funny little indian 'bedie'(sp??) things in the Prefects' Room!!! Just realised it sounds like a scene from American Pie or some-such Boho Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nic m Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Yes Kathryn, my daughter does and i think it looks really smart.She wears it loose though and does not fasten the top button on her shirt. I wear ties and scarves a lot too but just because i like the look. nic Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted February 8, 2008 I had to wear a tie all through school from the age of 5. They still wear ties at the secondary school I went to, but not at the local secondary school, they dress like tramps here. My work uniform has a kind of tie thingy, we call them bats because that is what they look like, and the men wear ties. They are clip on, as they need to fall off if you get it stuck in the machinery. Fortunately though, I don't have to wear uniform Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted February 8, 2008 (edited) Well, when I was in the sixth form I had to wear something that rejoiced in the title of a 'Prefect's Girdle'. If you were a prefect you had to wear a sort of sash/belt affair tied to one side and hanging down fetchingly! I was held down and ceremoniously de-girdled by the other prefects for smoking one of those funny little indian 'bedie'(sp??) things in the Prefects' Room!!! The most daring thing we did in our prefects' room was to steal a cake which one of the form 1's had brought for an inter school netball match. We shared it between 7 of us. Ties are smart, but it's just one more difficult item of clothing for a dyspraxic 4 year old to wrestle with and lose.. Edited February 8, 2008 by Kathryn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Canopus Report post Posted February 8, 2008 School rules and regulations aren't etiquette if they are written down or explained clearly. Etiquette are unwritten rules. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted February 8, 2008 Do any girls still wear ties as part of their uniform? K x My school has ties, although reception wear polo shirts. Most can tie them by the end of year 3, but shoelaces take longer to learn. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
krystaltps Report post Posted February 9, 2008 Then there's the loo roll issue! Which way to hang it - one way is seen as correct but I can't remember which one. Personally I like to hang it so the hanging-down bit is nearer the wall... actually it's a bit of a bug-bear with me as I usually "fix" my mum's when I'm round visiting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted February 9, 2008 Here's a really stupid one. If somebody at a dinner party drinks out of a finger bowl then everybody else has to drink out of their finger bowl as opposed to telling the person what the finger bowl is used for. I don't move in the kind of social circles that use finger bowls We just wipe our greasy fingers down our jeans Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted February 9, 2008 I've never even heard of a finger bowl Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted February 9, 2008 I've never even heard of a finger bowl I'm glad you've said that Baggy, because I've been wondering - I clearly wasn't brought up 'right'! - I have an image of a bowl full of severed fingers Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted February 9, 2008 I'm glad you've said that Baggy, because I've been wondering - I clearly wasn't brought up 'right'! - I have an image of a bowl full of severed fingers Nah, thats more the kind of thing you'd get in Sweeney Todd! Ickle bowls of water so you can keep your hands clean at posh dinner parties. Must date from the time when peeps used their fingers for eating, not cutlery, so doubly pointless. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pookie170 Report post Posted March 30, 2008 Something thats went RIGHT out of fashion dates from that kinda time....peeps used their fingers instead of cutlery, but at one point, they used thick slices of coarse bread to rest their food on, as it sopped up all the gravy and juices. It was considered unforgivable to eat the bread after(And I bet it tasted AWESOME!!!) so the servants would gather the slices into a basket and distribute them to the starving paupers. Nuts, eh? On the subject of daft manners, WHY do we have to shake hands with the right one? Why is it only scouts that use the left??? They're not mini-masons are they??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Imposter Report post Posted March 31, 2008 Keeping your elbows off the table. A lot of table manners make practical sense if you think about it, like not putting your knife in your mouth, and tilting a bowl of soup away from you, but that one makes no sense at all. I like leaning on my elbows - it's comfortable and can't see why it should be interpreted as a sign of rudeness. "No raw meat on the table!" my aunt used to say when she saw me doing it. K x Why does tilting a bowl of soup away from me make sense? It just makes it physically harder for me to get the actual - when you think people with ASD often have phsyical problems like Dyspraxia as well - imposing this on us is just being mean. I'm happy not to pick the bowl up and slurp. But tilting the bowl away and then putting the spoon in at the far side, down and out towards chest, is just complicated nonsense!! IMVHO. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Imposter Report post Posted March 31, 2008 Ties as an article of male clothing! Boho AMEN TO THAT!! I bow down to you. I just don't understand it. It's a flimsy piece of cloth that can get caught in all sort of places, soup, machinery, lunch, drinks, it tightens round your neck and makes you uncomfortable - so really - what IS THE POINT?! And yet people think you're underdressed if you don't wear one. And they don't treat you right if you don't wear one. Honestly. If I start a company or business I'm going to have people doling out aprons to everyone on entrance that say "EXPLOITED BARMY ARMY - NO *U*K*N* MESS!!!" or something equally "offensive" (as in offensive to most sensibilities) - and then ostracize anyone who refuses to wear one. See how they like it!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Imposter Report post Posted March 31, 2008 Then there's the loo roll issue! Which way to hang it - one way is seen as correct but I can't remember which one. Personally I like to hang it so the hanging-down bit is nearer the wall... actually it's a bit of a bug-bear with me as I usually "fix" my mum's when I'm round visiting. It's so the bit that's hanging down is the side away from the wall - the nearest side to the toilet. This I can assume is for two reasons. 1) The potential to avoid any dust/dirt settling between loo roll and wall. and 2) (more pertinently) having it that way round is usually easier for most people (assuming most people are right-handed) to handle, when taking loo-roll off the holder. As a slight aside bug-bear. I get really annoyed when someone has finished/come close to finishing the loo roll and instead of taking it off and replacing it - precariously balances another loo roll on top - so when you're on the toilet and absent-mindedly reach out for loo roll, the whole thing fall offs and rolls all over the floor (or even worse - the loo!) !! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Imposter Report post Posted March 31, 2008 I'm glad you've said that Baggy, because I've been wondering - I clearly wasn't brought up 'right'! - I have an image of a bowl full of severed fingers Tasty. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Imposter Report post Posted March 31, 2008 (edited) Oooh... Just thought of one. The curtains being open on bright/sunny days being obligatory. Why? It bugs the hell of out me. Especially when I'm or someone else is watching/trying to watch TV and insist on having the curtains open because "it's a sunny day"or "besides, what will the neighbours think?". The heck with the sun, or what the neighbours will think - I'm trying to watch TV and I don't want the sun reflecting on the screen on interfering. I can recall that one causing a few - ahem - "debates" when I was younger. Happily people just leave me to it now mostly. Still annoys me when it happens. Even worse when where you're sitting is affected by sunlight but the other person's position is okay - and they (unreasonably in my opinion) won't allow you to draw the curtains over. Edited March 31, 2008 by Imposter Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
harmony Report post Posted March 31, 2008 Describe any etiquette you find really silly that nobody should follow but society en-masse still stubbornly sticks with or only started to abandon recently. I'm more interested in etiquette from after 1945 as opposed to Victorian etiquette that was obsolete by the mid 20th century. I love finding out which words are considerd by some as correct ettiquete ALWAYS LOO NEVER TOILET ALWAYS SOFA NEVER COUCH ALWAYS SITTING ROOM NEVER LOUNGE ALWAYS NAPKIN NEVER SERVIETTE. Does any one have any more. Harmony x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted March 31, 2008 On the subject of daft manners, WHY do we have to shake hands with the right one? Why is it only scouts that use the left??? They're not mini-masons are they??? I don't know if this is true or urban myth (and I don't know about the Scouts' thing) but I'm sure I read somewhere that we shake our right hands as something that has continued from Roman times when they used their left hands to, erm, 'wipe' with using sponges after going to the toilet. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted March 31, 2008 I thought it was cos its your sword hand - to show you are unarmed. I havent a clue about scouts either *goes to ask mr p* *remembers I am at work* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted March 31, 2008 I love finding out which words are considerd by some as correct ettiquete ALWAYS LOO NEVER TOILET ALWAYS SOFA NEVER COUCH ALWAYS SITTING ROOM NEVER LOUNGE ALWAYS NAPKIN NEVER SERVIETTE. Does any one have any more. Harmony x I was brought up with these!! Still can't bring myself to use 'toilet', 'couch' or 'lounge' (I can hear my mama!!)...but will say 'serviette' if it's paper, but always 'napkin' if it's cloth! Also patent leather shoes for some reason And NEVER 'pardon'! Boho Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted March 31, 2008 I thought it was cos its your sword hand - to show you are unarmed. I thought that was why men should walk on the right side of a woman - so that they're ready to defend the poor helpless being at a moment's notice and don't accidentally jab her in the back when removing the sword from the sword-holder-thingy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
