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denise2

Home education due to school phobia

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:blink: Hello everyone. I am posting this in the hope that someone can give me some advice. I have a 10 year old son diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. He is very bright but is well into the spectrum. His main difficulties being social and sensory. School has been increasingly problematic and a massive contribution to his high stress levels. My son has been refusing to attend school this year and the paediatrician has diagnosed him with school phobia. After a difficulty half term ( the school wrote a 3 page letter complaining about our son to the psychologist we are no longer with) my son was getting increasingly distressed about the thought of having to go back to school. We withdrew him from the school. We have only done this verbally at present as the headmaster is not in until Tuesday. We feel very forced into this situation but we believe this to be my son's best chance of a normal life. In fact his stress levels have come right down and he has become more compliant in just a week. However although deep down I know this is the best decision for him, I am concerned as to how I will satisfy the LEA that I can fulfill his education needs as he is reluctant to do formal work at home and will only do disguised work. Does anyone have any advice for home educating Asperger's children with school phobia?

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I home ed and you have to make sure that you de-register using the correct words. I can offer advice if you wish? I would also advise you to join the HE-SEN list which can offer invaluable support for parents who home ed their SEN children. If your son has no statement you can pretty much teach him what you wish - even if he has a statement the choice is yours - for the main part.

 

If you have any questions please ask and I will help all that I can

 

Carole

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Hi Carole

Thank you for your words of encouragement, you gave me in my last post regarding home education !!!

I have a multi agency meeting on the 14 March ,I just need to know where i stand in all of this regarding home educating We are letting our son go on a business skills Deploma with webb design It is very very expensive but if it will help him get on in life its worth it !!! this he could manage it is when you want for how long you want , he is like a sponge for this and very skilled on the computer !!!As i said before he is 13 nearly 14 i would like very much to have a chat with you as you have been through this and have had experience in this matter .

I will PM you my phone number and if you like i could call you straight back ,Its just i am not to good on the computer and feel it would be alot easier to have a quick chat

many thanks

julia

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:dance: Thanks Carole for such a quick reply.

Questions:

How many times should you expect LEA to check up?

My son has no statement. what do I need to do to satisfy the LEA?

Do you find enough to do socially?

How do I find other home educating families?

 

I have loads more questions but I'm sure things will become more settled after a few weeks.

 

Thanks Again

 

Denise2

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Hi Denise

 

How many times should you expect LEA to check up?

 

Depends on your LEA and their attitude to HE'ers. They all differ. Most will be in touch within a few days or weeks. Most will try and make you change your mind.DONT! Not of course unless you want to. MOst then offer a yearly visit - but you can chose where you meet them.

 

My son has no statement. what do I need to do to satisfy the LEA?

 

You will need to provide an educational philosophy so I suggest you join this list

http://www.he-special.org.uk/content/joinhere.php They have some printed - ours is one - and it's an ASD specific pilosophy. This List is, in my opinion, essential for all of those who HE their SEN children. You can even access legal advice via this list. Also please join Education Otherwise they have a yahoo group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/eo/ Education Otherwise IS Home Education and everything you need to know.

 

Do you find enough to do socially?

 

I offer both of my sons the opportunity to socalise - my youngest loves to - my eldest never did until a year or so ago. I personally believe that it is cruel to force children with ASD to be social unless they want to be. All you need to do is prove you give your child every opportunity to mix with others. Matthew goes to Boys Brigade and other groups. David however did nothing!

 

How do I find other home educating families?

 

Join Education Otherwise and they have a list of local groups. That's what we did.

BUT only go out with them if you want to an it's best for you. I mainly keep in touch on-line. I know they are there should I need them - sometimes I do.

 

One thing I will say is take your time. The SEN list will tell you to give your child some time out before you do anything at all. It's called de-schooling and believe me your child and yourself need this time. We all imagine that given the opportunity our kids would never want to learn again. Not true - eventually they do want to learn, but this may never be as they did in school. It is not in our house. We have a unique style of working for our unique children.

 

Hopes this helps.

 

Carole

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Hello all, I just wanted to update you briefly on our situation. We officially de-registered our son approx 2 weeks ago, and there has been an amazing change in him. During our trial week our son had a major meltdown and we wondered what we had done, but we now think it was getting it all out of his system. We also tried to do some workbooks during that week something he rebelled against, but we perservered. A month ago our paediatrican had prescribed 2 lots of medication for our son as he was starting to become doubly incontinent. I could not tell you when the last day was that he had been completely dry. Since de-registering him he has only had one accident and this was when he was looked after by someone else. He has never started the medication and it now looks like he won't need to. My son is also more compliant, less aggressive and attempting things he would have refused to do before. He even took his sister in the fun house, when previously wee could not even get him to the front door!!! My husband also keeps saying "he's talking to me. Properly talking to me".

 

I am not saying it is easy and it is still very early days but I'd like to see the LEA try and tell me now that he is better off in school. I'm also really tired at the end of the day, but this is through being busy with my son and the compensation is I don't have a permanently knotted up neck and the dread of getting up the next day to face the battle with either my son or the school over his education.

 

I just wanted to give something positive back to the forum, and thank everyone for their advice.

 

Densie 2

 

:P:huh::P

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I have been home educating J since October last year.....I will not rmove his name from the school register because he was offered a placement at the local special school in Oct 04.....to start in Sept 05....If I removed J's name we would loose this placement!!!!!

 

We had no other option but to remove J from school on mediacl grounds....or GP supported us in doing this by writing that the psychological damage being cause to J by being in am inappropriate school placement, was far to great...if we hadnt I dread to think what J would have done to himself!!!!

 

Since he has been out of school he has come on in leaps and bounds. He is now writing his name clearly, his speach is so much clearer and he is generally a happier little chap.

 

I on the other hand am knackered!!!!! I long for the day to come when I can have the house back to myself all day.....J is ###### hard work and he is sooooo demanding......but I wouldnt change a single thing and am sooooo very glad that we removed him from mainstream schooling.

 

Just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world with your home edding....it is fun and so rewarding.

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Six years later, I thought I'd come back to update my original post. My son was today signed off from LEA checks with a glowing report. He has not followed the traditional route of education with most of it concentrating on every day skills with some forced formal education. The lady we see from the LEA reminded us how far he has come in the last 6 years which was lovely. :thumbs:

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Well done, Denise and son!

 

cb

Edited by coolblue

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Six years later, I thought I'd come back to update my original post. My son was today signed off from LEA checks with a glowing report. He has not followed the traditional route of education with most of it concentrating on every day skills with some forced formal education. The lady we see from the LEA reminded us how far he has come in the last 6 years which was lovely. :thumbs:

 

Hi Denise2

 

How lovely to hear this. I hope the future brings good things for you both.

 

My son has just turned 15 and has been off school for some years, and deregistered for about 18 months. Annoyingly the LEA in our area have insisted we be seen 6 monthly - the guy that comes is really great and understanding. In his last report he stated that he understood what we are doing and why we are doing it and that it is the right thing for our son, but then in the conclusion it said that the LEA felt that we needed to have a plan in place for him to take exams, and they recommended he visit again in 6 months to see how we have progressed with these plans! He is not ready to take exams yet. I can only get him out of the house about 6 times a year and it has to be something he really really wants to do to overcome the anxiety about going out and being amongst people.

 

At least home education has given us our son back. He was so withdrawn and genuinely wanted to die before.

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Thank you for the lovely replies. We have been very lucky with our LEA. They really seemed to understand our son's needs. He's just started to do some maths GCSE, we are unsure if he will ever sit the exam. Our LEA although encouraging some formal work, really appreciatedthe need to learn social skills, communication and generally coping with the outside world. At her last visit she told us to remember that when he first came out of school he wouldn't even be in the same room as her, let alone speak. A her final visit he chatted about all the sports that he does and the friends he has made. He also discussed his plans for the future. Good Luck

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<img src="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":blink:" border="0" alt="blink.gif" /> Hello everyone. I am posting this in the hope that someone can give me some advice. I have a 10 year old son diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. He is very bright but is well into the spectrum. His main difficulties being social and sensory. School has been increasingly problematic and a massive contribution to his high stress levels. My son has been refusing to attend school this year and the paediatrician has diagnosed him with school phobia. After a difficulty half term ( the school wrote a 3 page letter complaining about our son to the psychologist we are no longer with) my son was getting increasingly distressed about the thought of having to go back to school. We withdrew him from the school. We have only done this verbally at present as the headmaster is not in until Tuesday. We feel very forced into this situation but we believe this to be my son's best chance of a normal life. In fact his stress levels have come right down and he has become more compliant in just a week. However although deep down I know this is the best decision for him, I am concerned as to how I will satisfy the LEA that I can fulfill his education needs as he is reluctant to do formal work at home and will only do disguised work. Does anyone have any advice for home educating Asperger's children with school phobia?

Hi, I could identify with you and your son i have a son 12 years old in process of getting dx seen by CAMHS....i think he has aspergers as my other 3 older children have traits we had to t ake him out of school last april 2010.....due to anxieties about being there and he calmed down alot since then we registered him with comprenhensive school but he hasnt managed to go so home tutor was sent 2 days a week we still ahve her and shes lovley.....he gets really distressed about the thought of going back to school as well head tutor has now found a nurture centre attached to other local comprenhensive ...we visited it yesterday his obsession is computers so because they ahve approx 20 their he liked that part ....we might visit tomorrow and hopefullly go there for a few hours in september with home tutor..he doesnt like going out much has to eb good reason has meltdowns he used to talk aobut killing himself but not as much now........when i first took him out of school i wrote a letter to LEA explaining the school contacted me for more info then hoem tutor was allocated ....thats been since last september.....i was worried same as you thought i would go to jail etc......very stressful time but now i feel i might be getting somewhere getting dx will help us as a family at the moment in limbo........message me if you want more info.......lindy

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Thank you for the lovely replies. We have been very lucky with our LEA. They really seemed to understand our son's needs. He's just started to do some maths GCSE, we are unsure if he will ever sit the exam. Our LEA although encouraging some formal work, really appreciatedthe need to learn social skills, communication and generally coping with the outside world. At her last visit she told us to remember that when he first came out of school he wouldn't even be in the same room as her, let alone speak. A her final visit he chatted about all the sports that he does and the friends he has made. He also discussed his plans for the future. Good Luck

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hi denise- have been reading all your posts with interest- such an uplifting story! my son is 13 and is suffering extreme anxiety at school . camhs are involved and have worked with the school ,who, in their defence have done loads to try to address the problem. They have allocated a male one to one ,provided him with a chill out room ,and built lots of physical activity into his timetable. As there was still anxiety he has been prescribed risperdal,1ml, which worked a dream for a month, then he developed severe muscle jerks, The psych.reduced to 0.25 ml-the jeks have mostly gone now[happily]butthe anxiety and subsequent aggression at school has returned.He isnt aggressive at home,where his anxiety is obviously reduced.I might also mention that he is now doubly incontinent,when he had been continent since age 5!i work part time ,but keep toying with the idea of giving up work and going the same rote as yourself- but it is so scary.I too,am fed up with every moring facing the prospect of another days full of bad tales about my son. I forgot to say that this was the 2nd med that has been tried,both with same side effect.any thoughts and advice would be SO appreciated -thanks

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