Dealing with his anger.

[Brook]

Hi all,

 

When my son is angry or going into meltdown he immediately starts to punch the back of his head.. , he used to go straight to the door or the floor and start head banging on it, that seems to have faded, but he now does this awful punching.. I immediately jump up and re-direct him, but it is really horrible to see him try to do that. He is not physically violent to anyone at all, in fact if someone annoys him he starts thumping his 'own' head!

 

He doesn't seem to be doing it as much lately, but it does appear when he is very upset, now I know it probably is his way of dealing/expressing his anger, but I really need to find a way for him to express it without doing that, as I said I do re-direct him as soon as he starts doing this, but do you think that I could teach him a more appropriate way of expressing..? I'm just concerned that in the heat of the moment this will be his initial reaction. He definitely is not doing this for a reaction from me or attention, this is his sheer frustration.

 

I have asked him when he is calm if, it hurts when he does it and he says 'no'.. but he doesn't do it full pelt, so maybe he is sort of controlling how hard he does it, but nonetheless I really need to help him out of it.

 

Anyone experience or suggestions please, I really would appreciate them, it goes right through me when he does it and I really want to help him out here. I was thinking of using an anger chart, like the ones that rate where you are on the anger scale, but he goes from zero to a hundred in two seconds flat, so I don't think we would be in time to catch it.

 

Thanks

 

Brook

Edited February 9, 2008 by Brook

[JsMum]

The book I have ordered is the My book full of feelings as I felt that this is one of the books that looked at the size of the angry feelings, so just wanted to share this one with you, its an expensive book on some websites but Amazon.uk in the new and used colum I got one for under a tenner.

 

I dont have much advice because J doesnt self harm in this way, he just kicks or hits someone, not himself he has done it but not very often.

 

I would check it out with the psych who diagnosed him and speak to them, its defo a sensory issue, and maybe a supply of his own endorphines, its may not hurt but the signals to the brain will release the same hormones as if he had of done.

 

I would look at some CBT methods with a trained councillor and maybe some Occupational Therapist to look at movement so physical therapy and some sensory toys, nobbly balls, weighted blankets, sensory lights, sound toys.

 

Have you read the book The out of syncs child. brilliant book and the one that goes with it is The out of syncs child has fun, full of more sensory ideas.

 

I have been using visual displays to remind J of how to manage his behaviour around feelings.

 

JsMum