Precious Alfie Report post Posted February 13, 2008 Hi There, my name is Sarah Jayne and my 3 year old Alfie has just been diagnosed with Autism. He already has hemiplegia and chronic lung disease, and learning and speech delay. This is all due to him being born 15 weeks premature. I am writing on this forum as i feel so confused. I dont know what to think, feel, do, say.....anything. i am blaming myself and feel very down. Alfie is due a haircut on thursday and they are always so traumatic and very distressing, i've put it off for ages. I now know why he hates it, but i still dont know how i can cope with it. I'm sorry if i'm sounding so dramatic.....i have a two year old too, called Charlie, and i just want the best for both of my children. I'm looking for any advice, support, and hopefully to make some friends. Lovely to meet you all. Sarah-Jayne, Alfie and Charlie x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted February 13, 2008 <'> <'> Welcome to the Forum Sarah Jayne.You do not need to say sorry....it is stressful caring for two children under five and having a child that has been premature and has ASD is a lot to come to terms with.It is absolutely understandable that you are confused and don't know what to feel. Lots of people on the Forum have gone through and are going through the same mixed emotions.Please don't blame yourself <'> <'> I hope you will find lots of advice,support and frienship here.Do take your time in finding your way around.Karen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted February 13, 2008 Hi 'PA' - and welcome to the forum <'> karen's said it so well I'll just say 'same as', but a quick suggestion re the haircuts. Some parents i know who's kids had real trouble with salons had better success with home visiting hairdressers/high chairs (or mum's lap) and favourite videos... not ideal but it helped. Also, if the whole family get done at once (with reluctant toddler last or second to last) and a big deal is made out of it as a 'treat' you can con your way through it with practice. A couple of peeps I know who's littlies have REALLY been distressed by the whole thing took to doing the job while they were asleep. The results were often awful, but less so than 'wild man of Borneo'... Expensive, but 'little and often' can help too, rather than all at once... Hope something there's helpful, and very best with tomorrow L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted February 13, 2008 Hi "PA" and a very warm welcome to the forum. Hair cuts have always been a battle ground here too, in fact I hate to admit my young man has not had his hair for almost a year ! as the years have gone by he has gotten a lot better with hair washing but hair cuts remain a nightmare, though I must say it is always better (not perfect) when the hairdresser comes to the house like Baddad suggests. I hope you find this forum to be as helpful and supportive as I have, there is a whole wealth of knowledge and expereince here. <'> <'> <'> Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brooke Report post Posted February 13, 2008 Hi <'> Welcome to the forum. I have 3 boys the eldest 7 has asd. We always struggle with haircuts too- i just explain to hairdresser and they are normally pretty good with him. Im sure you will find lots of support here <'> Brooke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted February 13, 2008 Hi Sarah Jayne, and welcome to the forum. Judging by the number of threads we've had on haircuts, you're not alone in finding this difficult. For a while, I actually cut my own daughter's hair (very badly!) because I couldn't face taking her to the hairdressers. Re the diagnosis: it'll take some time to get used to. Go easy on yourself. <'> K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted February 13, 2008 Hi and welcome to the forum <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 13, 2008 Welcome to the forum, PA I'm an adult with AS, and have an 18 year old DS with AS, too. Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted February 13, 2008 Welcome Sarah Jayne <'> We used a home hairdresser for years so JP could scoot off to the shower immediately. It was the feel of cut hair on his skin he couldnt stand. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loobylou2 Report post Posted February 13, 2008 Welcome Sarah Jane <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted February 13, 2008 Hi sarah, haircuts...........horrible....as was getting new shoes and the dreaded dentist..............I found it does get better as they get older though <'> ..............my son has no problems with those issues now.Ok. a few suggestions if it does,nt matter too much don,t get his haircut who cares if its a bit long.........my son is sporting a fab mullet as we speak .Try covering his face with a soft cloth particularly his eyes...my son hated having the hair fall on his face.By some clippers and do it yourself at home.Thats what we did, batterey operated and we did it in the bath, worked when he started school and needed neater hair.Bribery worked for my son , not ideal but tons better than the misery and stress of a screaming , hysterical child.If you end up going to the hairdressers take someone to help you.Get his hair done first and go for the quickest option, tell the hardresser the quicker the better .Hope it goes o.k. suzex Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluefish Report post Posted February 13, 2008 Hi Sarah, Welcome to the forum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jo4themo Report post Posted February 13, 2008 Hi Sarah and welcome My eldest, Niamh, has Aspergers and she HATES having her hair cut - just about tolerates it being brushed. She is 9 and has never been to a hairdressers as she freaks out if we mention it so my hubby cuts it at home (luckily he does quite a good job). Like Pearls' son the reason she hates it is the feel of the hair on her skin. As for the diagnosis, don't blame yourself. Emma Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted February 13, 2008 Hi Pa and welcome <'> Smiley Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ASue67 Report post Posted February 13, 2008 Hi and welcome <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nic m Report post Posted February 13, 2008 Hi precious alfie, i hope you find the forum useful. my nephew hated having his haircut too, but luckily his mum (my sister) is a hairdresser and she just did bits as he was sleeping. As he got older he found it easier especially when he took a keen interest in football.He wanted to get haircuts like his heros. He hated the noise of the clippers, but luckily my sister had also trained in barbering so she was pretty fast with doing the scissor and comb. This may be an idea for you if you can not get a hairdresser to come to your house. The barbers are faster at cutting hair and there is usually a calmer atmosphere in them, with less noise and smells. good luck nic Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Precious Alfie Report post Posted February 14, 2008 Thank you all so much for your kind welcomes and ideas. The haircut is a metter of hours away, and i've got a home hairdresser coming. Going to try a dvd, and me holding alfie. I'm just scared he will get hurt. Rather than him sitting in a chair he may be better on my lap? And i'll do him first, then charlie. They have quite trendy hair and its long ish so clippers are not really an option, but we will persevere and do it more often, and hopefully the older he gets the easier it will be.....x Hope you are all well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted February 14, 2008 Good Luck and Welcome! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted February 14, 2008 <'> I hope the haircut is less stressful than you anticipate.Karen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted February 15, 2008 Hi Sarah, Welcome to the forum Hope you all managed to survive the hairdressers ok. We used to dread it too and hubby's a hairdresser Annie xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted February 15, 2008 PreciousAlfie! Hi, I am so dozy at times! It's Lisa from DS, I sent you the PM about this place, you'd posted about Alfie in the DS Aspie/ASD thread! Hope you are ok, and I'm so glad you got yourself in here! <'> Welcome Again! If you need a chat, you know where I am! Lisa xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted February 15, 2008 Ooh Lisa you keep tempting peeps on here doncha? We are all v nice here Sarah .... no really, we are ..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted February 15, 2008 Pearl, I couldn't think of a better place to be to get some support <'> .......and a drinking problem! I hope Sarah finds some solutions and answers here! Lisa xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
