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hev

ive had enough today

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steve came home friday and my god his behaviour is horrendous :crying: effing nonstop,confrontational,winding katie up,attitude stinks,ive just lost it and screamed which solved nothing but im only human and he just wont stop

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Has he been like this since friday? what was his school behaviour like?

 

Do you have any support from the school while he is at home, is he off for half term now.?

 

I would look into contacting the services that support you with S.

 

I sure do hope that things improve,

 

JsMum

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Hun, he's pushing your buttons >:D<<'>

 

Stay calm if you can, but stay firm :ninja:

 

He does know what's acceptable, and while the change from school to home will be a bit unsettling, he's just trying to go back to the bad old days when he could get away with pretty much anything.

 

You and Nick are the adults, and he is still a child...so present a united front and don't let him divide you.

 

Hang in there, hun...you and Nick can do this, you don't have to accept this sort of behaviour >:D<<'>

 

Lecture over! :lol:>:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

Bidx

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You and Nick are the adults, and he is still a child...so present a united front and don't let him divide you.

i very nearly rowed with nick but stopped myself :clap::clap:

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hope your ok >:D<<'> >:D< >:D<<'>

had a similar day with my son -took him out to the park agaisnt his will really as my other son wanted to go on his bike-he humiliated me for 30 mins in front of folk....and wailed and cryed all the way back to the carpark,not a good day really,my fault for pushing it .... :rolleyes:

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Guest Lya of the Nox

then calm down!

try and remember who is in charge

you and nick make some rules and stick to them

i know how hard it is honest and am thinkin of you

xx

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I GET ALL JITTERY AND I CANT STAND THE FEELING,I FEEL LIKE IM LIVING ON MY NERVES TONIGHT :rolleyes:

 

 

awwwww >:D<<'> >:D< >:D<<'> i too get myself worked up in a state about my son ......it seems at times he gets pleasure out of winding me up..........hes very manipulative -i know thats awful to say but he is .........he plays me of with him then will change it and play me off with his brother ect ect.....whatever gives the best argument...........then he goes bed ...and i then sit crying for an hour feeling guilty for shouting ..........but at the end of the day all im asking him to do is basic things -like take your clothes off......put your shoes on..........i know i know i should stick to the visual board but sometimes when hes got one on him that does not even work.im quite worried really ,if this is what its like now -im not sure how on earth ill manage him at 14-like your son -it must be really really hard i think your doing a wonderful job hev .. i know thats not much help to you ...but ive read your previous posts and i truly admire your courage......and detication.xxx

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Steve is bound to try and see if he can get away with things still at home, school has very strict rules and he is doing his best t wind you up. Stay strong and calm >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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Only advice I can offer is what Bid has already said.

Stick to your guns girl, don't let him turn back the clock, however much he thinks he wants to.

Don't get upset either, hard to do easy to say. Sound like you mean it, that the change is made, is inevitable and here to stay.

And definitely a united front with Nick.

>:D<<'> >:D< >:D<<'> You will get through this.

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Hi hen -

 

yep, bid et al have hit the nail on the head >:D<<'>

 

One other point though (but don't let it sway you for a minute from the 'united front' - 'cos that's the most important bit of all!)...

For stevie this half term week is a huge test... he's probably as nervous about it as you all are, and in one way may be 'challenging' it from the outset to just get it out of the way... I'm sure he's testing you and Nick but he's probably testing himself as well, and he's done incredibly well the past couple of weekends :thumbs::thumbs:

 

Very VERY best... and i hope Stevie is back to doing Katie's brekkers before the week is out :)

 

L&P

 

BD :D

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thanks >:D<<'> >:D<<'> well all is good today :thumbs: me,steve and katie are just going to town then tonight me and k are having a girls night with nanny at hers and nick and steve are sleeping here having an only fools and horses night :thumbs:

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thanks >:D<<'> >:D<<'> well all is good today :thumbs: me,steve and katie are just going to town then tonight me and k are having a girls night with nanny at hers and nick and steve are sleeping here having an only fools and horses night :thumbs:

 

 

 

Hi Hev

 

Glad you have got the day and the evening sorted out, :thumbs:

 

I know with J he is a lot better with someone 1-1, when we have support workers coming in on the evening if I back off and if he feels comfortable with the worker he responds and interacts loads better, than when we are a group, so maybe steve works better with no distraction and three way conversations and maybe this is why it works better when he is alone with you or nick?

 

I know there is a lot already on the forum about children been a lot more challenging than at school, so you are experiencing what a lot of us already have with school and home been two different challenges, he is also now recieving the right support and services so he will be unsettled for a few days when back at home, in the residential school that I want J to go to, they go home every other weekend, because they feel they settle better, there is a choice for parents for their children to come home every weekend, but usually most children actually want to stay at school as there is activities and scedules and structure in place and they feel comfortable with this, have you thought about a visual scedule, at home, just key points of what Steve will be doing.

 

It will actually help Kate too and I know that having a home scedule helps me plan and prepare in advance.

 

J is really challenging for me and he is a lot younger, I really dont know what I will be like when he is the same size and weight?

 

I do have plans to do some of the courses that BILD offer that help with dealing with confrontational behaviour and conflict issues and they help by trying to get in early so the confrontation is less likely to happen, so do take a look at these courses if you feel that this is something you would like to look into the courses are designed for parents and carers for children with challenging behaviour and they look at why it happens and ways to deal with it with break away techneques in too for self defence.

 

My J is nearly as tall as me now and he is still 10 I cant say how tall he is going to be as a teenager but I know we are looking at a 6footer, so I really want to do something soon.

 

I totally understand how the confrontational behaviour wares you down and Js manipulative behaviour isnt always aparent straight away so I do feel like I have to be on radar most of the time, relaxing is difficult to do but it does help, maybe this could also be something that Steve can have support with too, with excercises and some active activities to help with the relaxation.

 

It certainly isnt easy doing it from the parent view and I just hope that there is more theraputic interventions offered to you and to steve so you can then feel less anxious at home.

 

 

Have a nice girly evening, any spaces can I join in?

 

JsMum

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