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BuntyB

Clothes

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On here to vent my frustration.

 

:wallbash:

 

L has very definite ideas of what she will wear (non-girly, very plain) cotton clothes. This is fine, but she seems to be getting worse. She won't go into town, so I tend to bring things home for her with the offer of returning them. But she won't try them on, nor say if they are okay or not. They just pile up in her room until it's too late to take them back. Pushing the issue sends her into meltdown.

She is now having a full scale tantrum because she has 'nothing to wear'. She stays in her room all the time in her dressing gown. She now says it's my fault. She can't wear them because she didn't choose them.

I have suggested catalogues, browsing the internet to choose, but no, she won't cooperate. Arrghhhh!

 

She had arranged for her to go see a film with a friend which we were pleased about but now she wants me to cancel it because of the clothes problem. It's such a shame because she does enjoy herself (but won't admit it!) if we ever get her past the front door.

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L has very definite ideas of what she will wear (non-girly, very plain) cotton clothes. This is fine, but she seems to be getting worse. She won't go into town, so I tend to bring things home for her with the offer of returning them. But she won't try them on, nor say if they are okay or not. They just pile up in her room until it's too late to take them back. Pushing the issue sends her into meltdown.

She is now having a full scale tantrum because she has 'nothing to wear'. She stays in her room all the time in her dressing gown. She now says it's my fault. She can't wear them because she didn't choose them.

I have suggested catalogues, browsing the internet to choose, but no, she won't cooperate. Arrghhhh!

 

Know how you feel Shona, my daughter is nearly 15 and is exactly the same - the amount of clothes that still have tags on because they have gone past the return is just shameful - I've a load since xmas that still hasn't been tried on.

 

Lately I've tried to buy as much as I can from Asda for her to try on and if she hasn't tried it on after nearly two weeks I take it back - although once I get it home I carefully size it against all her current clothes and will take it back straight away if I can see it's too small etc (too large I can always take in).

 

It's so difficult - I keep hoping as she gets older this will get easier but it hasn't yet - although now and again (perhaps once or twice a year) she will try on things for a couple of minutes but I have to say she seems to get exhausted just trying them on.

 

Good luck, take care and chin up.

Jb

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Would she look at clothes on-line so that at least you know that she likes the colour/style?

 

A x

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reece is the same wont try anything on and as most of the time hed rather not have anything on as u say its too late to take it back if it dont fit or they dont like it!!!

 

sorry not much help but know how u feel

love donnaxxxx

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Hello, how old is your daughter? have you tried schedules so she knows what will happen when she goes clothes shopping? Could you ask shops if you could take photos or if they have catologues?

My son always had clothes/texture issues but he now knows what kind of clothes he likes and what shops he likes to buy them from which has made the whole process easier. My son is 14 and had to realise if he wanted to do things he had to wear clothes. Would your daughter understand this or tell her a social story about the benefits of wearing clothes. Hope this helps X

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I second purplehaze's suggestions. We have to plan clothes/shoe shopping very carefully with a schedule, expectations of behaviour, time limits what will happen, etc, followed by a reward for success (negotiated). It has to be only one shop and for a very limited time. I find if I buy clothes unseen they are never worn. I'm sure it's sensory stuff that's going on (colour, texture/feel, smell). Some shops we can't go into or we have meltdowns, others are OK if they are pre-negotiated. Other than school uniform, we only have a few 'nice' clothes that are acceptable and they were quite expensive, but if they are worn (till they fall apart usually), I don't care. At least they are worn and it's cheaper than having drawers full of stuff he won't even look at.

 

Sue

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No real help to offer. My 7 year old (Aspergers) has got slightly better or perhaps I now understand better?! At one stage she would wear the same pair of jeans that were a pair of her brothers from when he was small- ie v plain no motifs very well worn and so less sensory issues. Now we buy a few things- can manage some embroidery as long as it is somewhere where she will have no direct contact ie covered underneath by a vest. My mum insists on buying clothes ignoring what I say and they too pile up! DD gets v frustrated herself sometimes as she looks at these v pretty dresses but when she tries them on she just can't cope with the sensation and starts screaming! She went to one party with toilet paper all stuffed around her body to "protect her" from the scratchy materiel! Have you discussed with her how it feels and why? I was honest with my daughter. I am however dreading those teenage years as we have real problems with shoes. Good luck.

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Kieran is terrible with clothes he likes the old faithfulls,he doesnt do new clothes but again he can be with me and he ll say he likes something and when we get it home he will try it on and put it in the cupboard never to seee the light of day again a lot of his problems are sensory though the different feel of the materials etc.I have bought the exact same thing but he says its not the same it doesnt feel right no it wont youve had your other years lol.Ive even tried as someone suggested wash them first but that doesnt make the slightest difference.The good thing is that at nearly 222 he isnt going to outgrow grow the clothes he doesnt wear and as he doesnt go out hardly at all he doesnt require lots of different clothes but its still a total nightmare

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Thanks for your sympathies. My daughter is 12 and she does appear to be getting worse! Yes, I have tried all the ideas you've suggested without success, it was just a means of venting my frustration- so nice to know I'm not the only one.

 

I don't always know how strict to be as she has no choice about school uniform and I thought it would be difficult, but apart from finding soft trousers which school will accept because jersey type fabric are 'sport trousers' and therefore not allowed, she seems to have accepted that she has to wear a shirt and tie.

 

I've been browsing auction sites for identical stuff a size bigger in the hope I can swap them while they are in the wash but no luck so far!!

 

For those of you with shoe problems, our Clarks are really helpful. They let my daughter come in before official opening time and my daughter chooses off the website. They have a half-size bigger ready to pop on her feet, check and we're out in 5 minutes. The fact school say they have to be flat black ones seems to help because her choice is limited. Perhaps the choice is just overwhelming for her. I might try offering her a choice of 3 pictures in her preferred style and see how it goes.

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My Mum used to go with me and help me buy clothes when she was alive. this really helped, but I must admit that I found it very tiring. When she died I started to buy my own clothes. There is a small Dorothy Perkins at the Supermarket where I do my food shopping. I like the trousers that they sell and they suit me so I buy them from there. I stick to the same sort so I don't have any problems choosing.

 

I buy my shoes from a catalogue which works so much better for me.

 

I buy other clothes online as I hate going to shops as there is too much stimulation.

 

All in all I have learnt to cope with buying my own clothes without any help.

 

From Debbie Hudson

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Hi Debbie, it's good to see you here again. :)

 

My daughter has never liked going to buy clothes - my dream of mother/daughter clothes shopping sprees has never materialised. She'd rather go to a bookshop. :rolleyes:

 

I'm just about getting over the guilt of not buying new stuff for her when I buy myself clothes, but she really doesn't want anything much. She wears a small number of old favourites with the emphasis on comfort: tracky bottoms, stretchy t-shirts and zip up tops, and she only has one pair of shoes.

 

Luckily we are a similar size so I give her my clothes I'm bored with - they have the advantage of being "worn in" and therefore comfortable. I must admit, if I do buy her something new, I take care to get something that I'm happy to wear, just in case she rejects it. I'm not too adventurous: I tend to buy particular styles and sizes from familiar high street shops because I know from experience what fits and what she'll wear.

 

I hope you find a solution to the clothes problem, Shona!

 

K x

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Hi Debbie, it's good to see you here again. :)

 

My daughter has never liked going to buy clothes - my dream of mother/daughter clothes shopping sprees has never materialised. She'd rather go to a bookshop. :rolleyes:

 

I'm just about getting over the guilt of not buying new stuff for her when I buy myself clothes, but she really doesn't want anything much. She wears a small number of old favourites with the emphasis on comfort: tracky bottoms, stretchy t-shirts and zip up tops, and she only has one pair of shoes.

 

 

 

K x

 

Kathryn thought I would jump in and say that if your DD ever needs help in the book shop I would be willing to offer support....then I read about her taste in clothes....think I could offer help in that area too. :lol::lol:

Yours ...mum of two lads...who fortunately will never have to clothes shop with a girlie girl.

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Kathryn thought I would jump in and say that if your DD ever needs help in the book shop I would be willing to offer support....then I read about her taste in clothes....think I could offer help in that area too. :lol::lol:

Yours ...mum of two lads...who fortunately will never have to clothes shop with a girlie girl.

 

Oh, she doesn't need help with the books, believe me. :hypno: Since she's been old enough to have her own account, she singlehandedly keeps Amazon in business. Trouble is, the contents are spread all over her floor - she just has TOO MANY BOOKS!! :crying::rolleyes:

 

K x

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Oh, she doesn't need help with the books, believe me. :hypno: Since she's been old enough to have her own account, she singlehandedly keeps Amazon in business. Trouble is, the contents are spread all over her floor - she just has TOO MANY BOOKS!! :crying::rolleyes:

 

K x

 

I have company :lol::lol: My OH gets upsett when I buy too many.However four library tickets..one from each family member allows 48 books... :oops:

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