Update

[pearl]

Hi

I've been lying low for a while, looking in but not posting.

 

The reason being, my mum (nearly 86) has recently been diagnosed with a very rare, extremely aggressive form of skin cancer. Even the doctors were shocked as everyone thought it was just a cyst. I've not really been able to think about anything or anybody else.

 

Some of you know I've been looking after her for the last three years since a stroke destroyed her short term memory. The good thing about that is, 10 mins after dx she had forgotten all about it & was back in her little bubble. The bad thing is its going to be really difficult talking to her about her treatment. Its going to be a shock to her each time she hears she's got cancer.

 

They want to do more surgery (right near her eye) and a skin graft, and a head & neck scan to see if its spread. Thats just for starters I expect. And because she hates hospitals & has no idea of the gravity of the situation I'll have to watch her like a hawk to make sure she doesnt destroy her appointment cards.

 

My bro & I are slowly getting our heads round it but it feels unreal because she has forgotten she has it & is absolutely (for her) normal. I've not even cried yet - just numb.

 

Anyhoo the next few months are going to be pretty intense, but I'll pop in as much as poss even if I dont post as much for a while (a chance for you stragglers to catch up with me )

 

Thankyou very much for your pm's & emails, they have meant a lot to me. I'm still hoping to get to Greenwich providing mum is ok.

[Kathryn]

Hi Pearl,

 

So sorry to hear this. I noticed you weren't around, but assumed you were away.

 

I can't imagine how tough it's going to be for you all- I hope you can find time to pop in here for a break.

 

Take care of yourself

 

<'>

 

K x

[KateBall]

Sorry to hear this Pearl. My mother has no short term memory now. Has had terrible illness over the past 10 - 15 years or so but now is in a local nursing home and is really fit and happy. Lets hope you can get through this with your mum. Wishing you all the best.

[bid]

I'm so sorry to hear your news, Pearl

 

Bid <'>

[smiley]

<'> <'> <'>

[ASue67]

<'> <'> <'>

 

Take care of yourself.......... pm me if you want to meet up for a chat anytime.

 

<'> <'> <'> <'>

[Karen A]

<'> <'> Very sorry Pearl .Karen.

[Mumble]

Hi Pearl,

 

I wondered where you were. I'm not sure what to say, but I'll send you some of these <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[Flora]

Pearl <'> so hope the treatment goes well, it sounds like it's going to be a tough time for all of you and your mum. Must have been a terrible shock <'>

 

Flora X

[loobylou2]

<'> <'> <'> So sorry Pearl <'>

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

oh hunny

<'> >< <'> ><

for all of you

xx

[elun1]

<'> <'> Really sorry to hear that Pearl

love Elun <'> <'> <'>

[oxgirl]

So sorry, Pearl, to hear this. Don't forget to look after yourself and to give yourself some tlc too. <'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[brooke]

pearl <'> <'> <'> <'>

[pearl]

Thanks all, you are lovely.

One bit of good news today - found out mums surgeon is the lovely greek lady who operated on me years ago! She's v approachable so hope to talk with her before any irrevocable decisions made.

Busy week next week with hosp nearly every day, I'll try & keep this thread updated if some clever mod will move it to off topic, fankoo.

[Clare63]

Pearl ~ <'> <'> <'>

 

Thinking of you and your family.

 

That's encouraging news about the surgeon and I hope you get chance to speak with her very soon.

 

Take care and thank you for keeping us posted on how things are going.

 

Lots of Love Clare x x x

[elun1]

<'> <'> That's good about the surgeon Pearl. Keep strong

Love Elun xxx

[bikergal]

Thinking of you <'> <'> <'>

[Karen A]

Hi Pearl.I have moved this thread to off topic for you.

It is good that you know the surgeon.Take care. <'> <'> Karen.

[Bagpuss]

Have PM'd you <'>

[KarenT]

Pearl, so sorry to hear your news. You have a hard road ahead with your mum. I hope it works out better than you're expecting.

 

Look after yourself - it's likely to be harder on you than on your mum

 

Karen

x

[ellisisamazing]

Pearl,

 

I am so sorry <'> I too, have not on here much recently, what with not much time and other stuff happening, I am here always if you need a shoulder, e-mail me, pm here or the other places I hide out in!

 

I really don't know what to say except that I'm sorry and sad that this is happening to your Mum and you and your family, you are always in my thoughts.....

 

Love to you all

 

Lisa xx

[forbsay]

Hi Pearl

 

I am really really sorry to hear this.

 

Thinking of you and your family.

 

Forbsay

xx

[pookie170]

Hey Pearl, so sorry to hear your news, but glad your Mum got a surgeon you have trust in. can't do anything but senda hug and nice healing vibes your way, and your mums way too.

 

Take care of each other.

Esther x

[jb1964]

Only just read this Pearl - thinking of you all

 

Take care,

Jb

[hev]

late to this pearl <'> <'> keep strong love xxxxx

[pearl]

Ok after moving heaven & earth I have a doctors appointment for mum, me & bro on thursday. Surgery now v unlikely to happen on Fri. Doc not best pleased at us wanting to ask questions & the delay.

 

Mum is adamant she does not want surgery. Have spelled out how serious this could be, & she still feels the same, so I've told her that she needs to tell the doctor that. I have no idea whether she will be as bolshy with the doc as she is with me, or whether she will cave in when the doc tells her how serious it is.

 

If she does change her mind they can whisk her in almost immediately & operate Friday. My gut feeling is that it will not happen though. Her last op was in 1952 for her bunions (she is a living testimony to the health giving powers of tobacco ) & she dont intend to start being messed about with now!

 

I'm hoping theyll agree to do the scan first - if its clear, then I'll urge her to go ahead as theres everything to play for. If its spread, what would be the point in putting her through it? Oh I dunno.

Edited April 1, 2008 by pearl

[oxgirl]

Oh Pearl, that's such a dilemma isn't it. Surgery is such an ordeal for an elderly person, I'm not surprised she's refusing, my mum would have been exactly the same. Hope you're okay. <'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[Bagpuss]

Pearl <'>

 

I know my nana was adamant if she was ever diagnosed with cancer, she would absolutely never have surgery, and ensured all the family were aware of her wishes.

 

Her logic was that once they opened you up, and the fresh air got to it, it grew like a cauliflower

[Karen A]

Pearl <'> <'> thinking of you all.

I hope that your mum is able to come to a decision about what she wants that everyone can be ok with.

My mum could be bolshy too....her last words before she died were that I get her moved to another hospital where the treatment would be better.

Karen.

[pearl]

Mum has agreed to surgery.

Bro & I are now convinced it is the only way forward following our talk with the doc.

Without going into gory details, even if it has already spread elswhere, leaving the original scar untouched would mean it gets really nasty there, so it cant just be left alone.

 

It turned out mums major fear was staying overnight at the hosp. They were absolutely fantastic & met her half way on this. They have agreed, subject to surgeon's final say so, to do it under a local. They did all the pre op stuff there & then, then I took her home for lunch & a snooze, & will take her back tomorrow to be done as a day case.

 

Everyone, from taker of blood to doctor, was lovely with her, I cant praise them highly enough. And now they have explained stuff to us in more detail we are at peace with the way forward.

 

Watch this space

[kellyanne]

I've only just found this...........

Good news that your mum agreed to surgery and I hope all goes well for you all tomorrow <'> ><

KA x xx

Edited April 3, 2008 by kellyanne

[loobylou2]

hope it all goes well tomorrow Pearl. <'> <'>

[Bagpuss]

Thinking of you and your mum tomorrow Pearl, and hoping it all goes smoothly <'>

[oxgirl]

That must be such a weight off your mind, Pearl. Hope all goes well tomorrow and that your mum copes well with the procedure. <'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[Karen A]

Pearl.My thoughts are with you all for tomorrow I hope everything goes smoothly. <'> <'> Karen.

[ASue67]

Sorry not had chance to reply to your pm yet....... just wanted to say I hope it goes well tomorrow. Will be thinking of you and your mum.

 

Take care <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[Kathryn]

Thinking of you and your mum tomorrow, Pearl

 

<'>

 

K x

[bid]

I do hope everything goes well tomorrow, Pearl <'>

 

Boho

[Mumble]

<'> <'>

Mumble.