anyone -have these children in beavers/cubs?

[rainbow queen]

anyone -have these children in beavers/cubs...?

 

my son really struggled with the noise level and the team games they did -first time hes been-and he was shooting me daggers across the room..............

 

he got very upset.........and i felt really hurt for him as he tryed so hard to fit in but it was very noticable to watch .........he hated the team thing/rules and felt very self councious-the leader instructions was far too much for him to process..........

 

he said he hated it .....but also enjoyed some bits..............

 

am going to try him again next week..........i was tryed to help him get out of the house more ect.........

 

wondered if its worth pursueing?

i feel he would benifit really.........but on the other hand i dont want himto stick out................and you could really see the differences .........i kept telling him how fab he is and hugging him...........but i do so worry about himas the other kids notice it and then segarate him-well this is what happens at school..........

rq xxx

[Pippin]

We dont have cubs near us yet and P isnt old enough for scouts..........but I do have to take him to Brownies with me some weeks (I'm Brown Owl, for my sins!!!). He used to be a real pain and couldnt fit in, no matter how hard he tried. We finally found a solution where he sits in the book corner (we meet in his school) on his own and looks at books on rockets for an hour. It solves our problem but has taught me he will keep "not fitting in" as he gets older. We'll probably give scouts a try when he's 11 or so.....but I'm not hopeful.

[Bard]

Yes, he's a passionate scout and was an enthusiastic cub.

Yet again though, we've been very lucky. He found cubs tricky, but his Arkela was very good at spotting trouble before it started and giving him time out, putting him with the children that wouldn't get him cross, giving clear instructions and letting him sit out of certain activities that he chose to.

After a year, he got his dx and I told her. She said 'Ahh, that's no surprise then' It turned out that she's thought he was spectrum and altered her approach accordingly, and it had worked, so she'd kept doing it.

Scouts is run by a fab husband and wife team who are both in education and know about ASDs.

He loves scouts, we get a termly programme in advance, and he can opt out of a session if he wants to. They also operate a yellow/red card discipline system and have the occasional weekly ban. They have been understanding and forgiving and adaptable, and he has really tried his best. He's been on camp several times too.

 

I'm not saying it's been trouble-free, he's had meltdowns and bans, he got sent back from camp once for hitting a girl who wouldn't leave him alone, but that was a big camp with a dozen troops together. The point is he loves Scouts and is prepared to push his limits in order to take part, to remember to try and be a team member and co-operate.

He's proud of himself and his uniform.

He went on an activity day yesterday, Clay pigeon shooting, had a wonderful time, no problems at all and ended up playing with the gun dogs. And he really doesn't like dogs, but these were so obedient to anyone that commanded them, he wasn't afraid.

 

It has taken time and good people, but being a Scout is very important to him.

[justamum]

my son used to go to Beavers then clubs. He hated cubs!

 

It's all down to the leader. His leader in Beavers was very good and understood his problems and made the right allowances etc. In cubs the leader was ok BUT didn't understand my sons problems, didn't make allowances (didn't tell him off but failed to realise he was struggling). As result my son mainly hated the pack activities and games.

 

However see if he can stick with it as it does help, just give the leader tips on things that stress him out.

 

As it's autism awareness month why not give out home made leaflets, with leaders permission, on inclusion etc?

[Bard]

Forgot to add Pippin, it's a very 'male' troop, physical, active, lots of doing less talking and woffling ( Not that Brownies woffe...)

 

My daughter quit guides quite early on, didn't feel enthusiastic, challenged or that there was any real variety from week to week.

As I said, the leader has such an influence that they set the tone for the group, and guides was run by an elderly WI type so they did lots of girly activities that didn't suit her personality. There wasn't a choice of another troop in the area.

This is by no means a generalisation about the Guiding movement, but B wouldn't have coped in a female environment as a participant.

[Pippin]

"Forgot to add Pippin, it's a very 'male' troop, physical, active, lots of doing less talking and woffling ( Not that Brownies woffe...)"

 

 

.....you've not met my Brownies. They could turn woffling into an Olympic sport,!!!! P doesnt mind them being girls....in fact, I'm not sure he's noticed!!!! However our local scouts is VERY macho and I suspect his chances of fitting in are very small. Its not a well disciplined group....more like youth club than traditional scouts. The thing is....you have to give it a go don't you.

[Bard]

The thing is....you have to give it a go don't you.

 

<'> Yes, you do, more than one. And it's hard for everyone, but the results in B's case have been so worth the effort.

[Enid]

My ds, 12yrs, was a scout from sept o7 to dec 07. He loved it and was very well behaved. When he started having these violent rages and unpredictable behaviour between xmas and new year he was not in a fit state to attend, but recently I was thinking of letting him start again but his behaviour is still too unpredicable so am leaving it for the moment. Enid

[rainbow queen]

thanks guys

 

<'>

 

i rang up the 2 leaders today to explain more in depth ect and one has dealings with sen or something and they have had experiance of some children at cubs with autism and other difficulties..................bet i sounded like a mad woman rambling on..........

 

so i feel bit more reassured and they are going to get an older lad to help him out but try to make it not look so obvious so thats good.......

 

i am going to really try and hes going next week....i think it will help his self esytem ect ect.......i know its hard for him to make friends -he dont have many -well about one whos on the spectrum-at school and they dont see eye to eye much.....i undrstand and am not pushing the friends thing but i want him to feel he can acheive more and he likes the idea of the badges

 

 

tonight have been having a good cry to myself as seeing him at the beavers in the social situation-as most of time hes with me -or has support worker -or school...which is structed.............im trying to say seeing him as i did-and seeing the looks upon his face and almost the desperation to try and do what was right at the same time not knowing................what was meant of him---it just really hit me hard....and i felt very overwhelmed for him....at how much his life must be a struggle...ect ect..........and i so wanted to run up to him at beavers and wrap my arms round him to tell him hes ok........... :wub: ....but i waited till he had finished .......i guess everyone here knows what im talking about....its like you want to protect them so much..........

rq xxx

[Enid]

I so know what you mean, its the hardest part, as I work at the nursery at the primary school my son was excluded from! I used to see him on the playground desperately trying, and failing to fit in, and other boys chasing him and tripping him up and trying to get a reaction from him, The temptation to sort it all out for him was overwhelming, I hope he will be able to attend scouts again soon, so well done you, keep trying. Enid

[ScienceGeek]

I went to scouts and found the social side of it very difficult but knew one person there who looked out for me. I really liked the idea of the badges and had the most badges there, I had a competition going on with the person I went with to see who could get the most! I miss the outdoors stuff though, the camping and walks that we used to go on. I really need to get out and about again.

[pookie170]

Hey rainbow queen!

I tried to get my Cal to join Cubs but received an emphatic 'No WAY!!!' so I haven't tried that one out.

However, we recently started Taekwondo, the biggest benefits I could see were that its very physical, and that I could join too, sort of a morale support without being right at his side. And so far, its going great. Its VERY structured at class, and while its a big group, everyone has to have enough space to execute the movements- great for Cal, no jostling. Then too, the movements you must learn to move up a belt or tag are very strictly structured too, so theres absolutely no confusion for Cal over what he should be doing. And you have to learn the terminology as well, which Cal excels at, so he thinks thats wonderful-so do I, its fab to have him come home all proud of himself!

We are very lucky, right enough, as our instructor also visits Cals school to teach, and so both he and his wife are very understanding of Cals needs. Last Wednesday, we attended Easter Camp, which was a 3 hour long session including games like tug-o-war (Cal and I were on the same team-we beat the butts off everyone else, mwahahah!!! We were the Jedi team, said Cal!) and relay type races.

Cal had 2 little 'hissy fits' as I call them, one when his belt fell off and I couldn't get it right for him, and another when we all got paired up and he had no partner (This was just after his first hissy fit-he rejoined the group too late!) But the instructor was fab, gave him his space and took other kids attention off Cal. His wife went and got Cal a chair, put it in a very quiet spot and gave him a big glass of cold water to drinnk as he calmed down. And it worked, he came back in a short while and just joined right in....I was awfy proud of his self control, told him after we'd finished.

 

So while it ain't cubs, he has the opportunity to gain tags and belts and gets a bit of practice in a social setting. He also has a classmate going now too, so I think thats a bonus for him....

The reason I thought this was pertinent to the topic(after a mass waffle, I get to the point, already! Oi!!) was that there are paralells to the Cubs thing but I know cubs and cal will never mix, its just a bit TOO social if you know what I mean....But this is an alternative that REALLY works for us (and my youngest too), so it might work for others?

Just a (very long winded) thought!!

 

Esther x

[rainbow queen]

Hey rainbow queen!

I tried to get my Cal to join Cubs but received an emphatic 'No WAY!!!' so I haven't tried that one out.

However, we recently started Taekwondo, the biggest benefits I could see were that its very physical, and that I could join too, sort of a morale support without being right at his side. And so far, its going great. Its VERY structured at class, and while its a big group, everyone has to have enough space to execute the movements- great for Cal, no jostling. Then too, the movements you must learn to move up a belt or tag are very strictly structured too, so theres absolutely no confusion for Cal over what he should be doing. And you have to learn the terminology as well, which Cal excels at, so he thinks thats wonderful-so do I, its fab to have him come home all proud of himself!

We are very lucky, right enough, as our instructor also visits Cals school to teach, and so both he and his wife are very understanding of Cals needs. Last Wednesday, we attended Easter Camp, which was a 3 hour long session including games like tug-o-war (Cal and I were on the same team-we beat the butts off everyone else, mwahahah!!! We were the Jedi team, said Cal!) and relay type races.

Cal had 2 little 'hissy fits' as I call them, one when his belt fell off and I couldn't get it right for him, and another when we all got paired up and he had no partner (This was just after his first hissy fit-he rejoined the group too late!) But the instructor was fab, gave him his space and took other kids attention off Cal. His wife went and got Cal a chair, put it in a very quiet spot and gave him a big glass of cold water to drinnk as he calmed down. And it worked, he came back in a short while and just joined right in....I was awfy proud of his self control, told him after we'd finished.

 

So while it ain't cubs, he has the opportunity to gain tags and belts and gets a bit of practice in a social setting. He also has a classmate going now too, so I think thats a bonus for him....

The reason I thought this was pertinent to the topic(after a mass waffle, I get to the point, already! Oi!!) was that there are paralells to the Cubs thing but I know cubs and cal will never mix, its just a bit TOO social if you know what I mean....But this is an alternative that REALLY works for us (and my youngest too), so it might work for others?

Just a (very long winded) thought!!

 

Esther x

 

hi esther thanks for the repy

 

my son has done taekwando i joined him at 5 -he did it for a year-and was very good with it....................we stopped for a couple of reasons -one was the cost-the place we was going i think was pricey-with me having 2 boys -was even more pricy.......the other he had to go 4 times a week on half hour slots......while i pushed him..........into doing it-he really struggled with the changing of clothes and it being after school...ect ect....hustlle bustle-NOW saying that -this was all before he got dx-and we were not using pecs then or time table so you can imagine i was having major battles all the time and it sort of wore me down..............

SO yes i have been thinking of joining him up again some where else and i imagine things would run alot smoother-now we have visual time table and other supports in place

thanks for reminded me-yes i agree taekwando is very very good as its not a competive game in the such-and you are very very structed unlike the beavers we went to which does look alot more of a social thing and lots team games .......anyway im going keep at it with beavers as my other son is keen on it but he cant join till 6..........the bonus is its �2 a week for an hour .......and easy to get to ........anyway ill see what happens ....

rq xxx

[lynne]

Subs, scouts and leaders very so much from one pack to another. So its always worth looking at the different groups and going along for a few weeks to see if the group is suitable for your child.

 

Finding the right group opens an whole new world to our child.

 

Lyn

[mumble_rocks]

Have you thought about contacting the ADC (Assistent District Commisioner) Special Needs for your area and see if they can help in anyway. If you need any help let me know! I am heavly involved in Scouts, Cubs and Beavers