im such a failure

[lisa35]

Ive just so lost it its untrue,sons ona 3 day exclusion from school,so we re having to find places for him to go whilst we work-he doesnt like sleeping out so we didnt insist he sleeps at grandparents

 

I asked for school work -which we didnt get until this evening- because we were getting him from grandmas-we didnt get in until 1800

Then, in my wisdom I insisted he started the wor kwe got from school(which I had to ask for- so now Im worried he doesnt do it itll go against us)- obviuosly he s at point of no return

Ended up huge meltdown- me screaming-him laid on room floor- I dont know how on earth we re going to get the work done- its hard enough getting him to do bit of homework

And we re working tomorrow-its now 2100, we set off at 0700, havent sat down yet

Sons laid on bathroom floor- told me he feels useless-and I got angry and sdaid I dont care any more- he can do what he wants at school- I cant fight his corner any more . I feel so lost. we re waiting to hear about a request for assessment-and got a meeting school Wednesday when he goes back- but only about the detention

We re waiting for big meeting with autism support and Ed Pysch- wer e taking parent parner ship- the Ed Psch is very good

I dont think Ive got the strength to carry on for him- he just doesnt seem to understand what we do- just says we dont care.How the hell do u get them to take any responsibitly- he is 13 next. Wont even bath himself

Lisa

 

Post Reply

[hev]

lisa you are not a failure,ive had all the exclusions with steve and its blimming hard going,it sounds like you have all had a really long day,you will find the strength to go on cos we just do,dont mean its easy though,all the fighting takes it out of you doesnt it,i hope things are bit calmer now,i really do know what you going through,just please dont think you are a failure <'>

[lisa35]

we re the one thing thats costant, and I let him down, I made him feel bad, just like school does! How bad is that

[hev]

i have had times i have made steve feel bad and after the guilt is terrible but the good times far outweigh the bad,its just when we feel like cr*p mothers its hard to remember the good times,ive sobbed when ive screamed at steven,felt hes better off without me but in my calmer moments i know i do the very best for him just as you do for your son

[rainbow queen]

<'> >< <'> ><

 

sending you some luv,,,,,,,,,,keep strong .....xxx

[harmony]

You are not a failure. You have a son with very special needs, you run a home, you have a partner, you work. Good God woman, don't be so hard on yourself!!! You need a big hug, and to know you are doing really well. My 12 yr old with AS causes me to tear my hair out, and dispair she will ever find the bathroom let alone have a bath! She was suspended for a bit last term, did she do the set work? absoloutly not.

she only works when she is having a good day. I wish I could do that!

You will cope, it is only 4 days to the weekend, then have a big glass of wine, watch a good film, you have a lfe too remember.

Harmony x

[JsMum]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> yes hugs to you hunny, <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

You are a fantastic, caring mother, who is at the end of her tether with the silly system, you have not failed him, if anyone has its the educational system for making him fit into something he cant possibly fit into, he is behaving the way he is because he isnt getting the right understanding, so he deals with it his way, as he probably struggles to communicate that verbally, he does it physically, he has serious emotional difficulties that are enhanced by the system, you have from day one supported, and understood your son, you have got this far, knowing what AS is and that this could be what your son has, you have the dedication to listen even tonight when he was in the bath, you was there, not igoring his needs, you said you dont care verbally but really you know that this is total sheer frustration and 100 percent you do care, you care loads, thats why it hurts soo much when it gets to this situations.

 

If you didnt care then tonight wouldnt of bothered, you at all, but it clearly has, its horrible that the school just want to dump all his work onto you, you do also have to take into consideration his special needs so you can make your own adjustments.

 

I really would advise you to ring IPSEA to ensure the explusion is law and not a discrimination.

 

I really have never ever got the impression you are a failure from your posts, you care, your dedicated and your a mother in dispair with what on offer, which isnt enough for our kids in mainstream.

 

You are not a failure, your a human being who got upset and angry, something we have all done with todays system.

 

Hugs and Love, to you,

 

<'>

 

JsMum

[lisa35]

thank you all,thanks Jsmum, I asked for the work- apparently theyre meant to have work when excluded? Idid it to make a point- kinda shot myself in the foot I think! I did challenge the exclusion, and have put in writing- in case it happens again. im not kicking off...not just yet,,,,cos any time now we have big meeting at school,,,and we have diagnosis now,,,only got it last fRi,,,school dont know yet

Im chilling now, and decided, tomorrow w ere having a calm evening

Thanks so much for support- only you lot really undrstand Thanks you

xxxxxxxxxx

[baddad]

...we re the one thing thats constant...

 

Then maybe your expectations of yourself are too high

Constant is for robots. Mums and dads are much better than that - they're human!

Hope tomorrow is a better one.

 

BD

[KarenT]

Let yourself off the hook a bit Lisa, you are human and we all make mistakes. I've lost count of all the times I've blown up at J but tbh in the longrun I think it's helped him to see the consequences of his behaviour, that if he winds people up and doesn't cooperate they will respond by geting angry and losing control. We all have a limit and you crossed yours on this occasion, just as we all have. Please don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes it does feel as though we're carrying the responsibility for our kids alone but you have to take a break from it from time to time, admit you're not Superwoman, accept you have failings and you can't be perfect all the time.

 

Keep on doing the great job you're doing, it will pay off in the longrun.

 

Karen

x

[elun1]

<'> <'> <'> <'>

Just read this - you're not a failure at all. 'Real' mums and dads shout scream cry and get frustrated. You're working so hard and are under incredible stress

Sending lots of hugs <'> <'> <'> <'>

Elun xxxx