Stealing

[CarolineJ]

Stealing and the lying that goes with it, are a huge problem here. I still don't know the appropriate way to deal with it, but we're trying so hard to be consistent and not let our feelings get caught up in it, but it's so hard

[baddad]

Stealing and the lying that goes with it, are a huge problem here. I still don't know the appropriate way to deal with it, but we're trying so hard to be consistent and not let our feelings get caught up in it, but it's so hard

 

Not sure why you're trying to not get your feelings caught up in it? You're not a robot, you're a parent, and you have every right to be angry if you are being stolen from or that trouble is being brought to you door. Consistency is important, but so are the sanctions you impose, and the bigger the 'crime' the bigger the sanction. That sanction shouldn't of course, be out of control, or inappropriate to the crime, but he/she needs to know just how strong your feelings are about this, otherwise he's got no barometer to work too.

 

[CarolineJ]

Not sure why you're trying to not get your feelings caught up in it? You're not a robot, you're a parent, and you have every right to be angry if you are being stolen from or that trouble is being brought to you door. Consistency is important, but so are the sanctions you impose, and the bigger the 'crime' the bigger the sanction. That sanction shouldn't of course, be out of control, or inappropriate to the crime, but he/she needs to know just how strong your feelings are about this, otherwise he's got no barometer to work too.

 

 

 

Thank you. This is the support and affirmation I need. It's what we're doing now, but I need to hear that we're doing ok from others who understand.

 

C

x

[Flora]

Years ago my dd stole some pokemon cards off a friend's son when we were visiting there. I was mortified and very very annoyed. When I realised what she'd done I drove back to my friend's and made her hand them back and apologise. I obviously got the point accross, not only to her, but to my two boys aswell because nothing like that ever happened again. It really struck a cord with my AS son (who related the story to anyone who would listen and still brings it up now much to my dd's mortification ). My dd was only 7 at the time and she's 15 now but she still remembers how embarrased and ashamed she felt when she had to go back and fess up. Basically what I'm saying is, sod the feelings, it's unacceptable for people to take things that don't belong to them and if our kids need to learn this lesson then make it short, sharp and to the point so that it sinks in quickly!

 

Flora

[baddad]

then make it short, sharp and to the point so that it sinks in quickly!

 

Flora

 

Ooer... stoppit. you're scaring me!

 

seriously, totally agree, and glad to hear that the 'advice' helped, caroline

[darky]

My son stole some money from his brother's safe. He used it to buy sweets from the ice cream van outside of school. I was cross with him because he was 10 at the time, and I started trusting him to walk to the car instead of me waiting outside the school gates for him. When he got in the car and had sweets, he lied and said he got them from school. This happened for a few days over a 2 week period. It was only when my son noticed his money had gone from the safe we realised it was my youngest son who took the money.

 

I was furious with him. So I contacted the school and asked them to write in his diary any time he got sweets from a child at school for birthdays etc. Then I marched him up to the ice cream van, and told the ice cream man to remember his face because he had stolen money to buy sweets there and I do not give him permission to buy sweets from the van.

 

My son was mortified and embarrassed, but it taught him a lesson he would never forget. It was a good lesson for my daughter as well. My son is dx Asperger, but for me it was important to still show him right from wrong. He knew it was wrong enough to lie about it, so he knew enough to take the consequences!

[Paula]

You think youve got problems.................My 15 year old daughter who is NT went on the rob in and around our local town and got collered for her trouble in Boots where i was called by the store detective..............Luckily and i thank god they didnt involve the police.ionstead she was banned from entering any Boots store for 12 months..........It stopped her shop lifting.......I didtn go mad i didnt rant and rave i couldnt see the point what was done was done i just informed her that next time the police might be caled that she might get cautioned and that caution may effect her future and any college placements she may apply for.Shes now a reformed charector.........l

[CarolineJ]

You think youve got problems.................My 15 year old daughter who is NT went on the rob in and around our local town and got collered for her trouble in Boots where i was called by the store detective..............Luckily and i thank god they didnt involve the police.ionstead she was banned from entering any Boots store for 12 months..........It stopped her shop lifting.......I didtn go mad i didnt rant and rave i couldnt see the point what was done was done i just informed her that next time the police might be caled that she might get cautioned and that caution may effect her future and any college placements she may apply for.Shes now a reformed charector.........l

 

I've already had the police. I didn't see any other option than to call them and ask for help. They were so good.

 

We've had the fire brigade too.

 

And the ambulance!

 

I really don't want to have to call the coastguard to the house to complete the set......

[Livelife]

An ex partner had a daughter who was Autistic and she had no ideal that taking something that didn't belong to here was wrong, if she felt she wanted it she took it mostly I think because the object fascinated her then when she had finished just left it wherever she was.

Obviously she was never alowed out on her own but it occurred to me that this is a concept that a lot of autistic children are going to have to deal with.

Not knowing the difference or understanding the consequences I think it's the responsibility of others not to over react to this sort of situation or any other. It needs to be dealt with on an individual basis as it must be ascertained the understanding before apportioning blame and taking the appropriate action for the situation that's being dealt with.