Feeling stressed / Being stressed

[Mumble]

Can someone explain the difference to me between feeling stressed (and maybe what that is, because sometimes I've thought I was feeling stressed and now I wonder if it was something different) and being stressed, and also whether stress is different (or experienced differently) on the autistic spectrum?

 

The reason I ask is because I've just been told by my GP that I have severe stress and that I'm at risk of breakdown if I don't take some time for myself, let my friends (plural - I did say that would be a problem as I'd have to find them first!!!) and family () step in and help, sort various issues etc. And yet I feel really OK, almost peaceful - there's a couple of things worrying me but I wouldn't say I'm stressed - I know I've felt much much worse than this and those are the times I would have said I feel stressed, but my GP seems to think that how I am now is serious - well they must because I have an urgent referral to a psychiatrist, medication for the symptoms and my anxiety meds The thing is, I don't think I'm stressed but they do, so how do I know - what does stress feel like?

 

I've had a really bad experience with a psychiatrist before ... anyone know how to get them to understand autism? Hopefully at least they can't dismiss that this time as I have a dx?

[Karen A]

Hi Mumble.I have plenty of experience of feeling stressed.One of the things I found was that I had got so used to being stressed that I could not recognise that I was stressed anymore.I needed people to explain what the physical signs of stress were like.Karen.

[JsMum]

Hi Mumble, sorry your going throw a hard time right now, with J he gets anxious, anxiety is another form of stress, basically its when the body is constantly producing the stress hormone which depletes the immune system, small amounts of stress is actually good for the body, it gives the body vital hormones and stimulates the whole body, but on a long term basis it strips the body and causes many illnesses and disease because the cells dont copy properly.

 

Insomnia, headaches, loss of appitite are all signs of stress, which is why it depleates the immune system, when we sleep, rest we repair, if we find sleeping difficult it doesnt get chance to repair, the mind is effected too like memory, thought process slow down so it may effect planning, organising your life and the consequences of failed appointments/assignments add on more stress making the cycle even more serious.

 

stress reduces appitite because the body thinks its ready for a fight, or getting ready for running away, the system turns of hunger to help the body perform better for the running/fighting.

 

So again over time lack of calorie result in lack of energy.

 

Stress/Anxiety cause massive mental and physical symptoms which is why looking after yourself is soo essential, I had to do it not that long ago because all my time and energy was focused on J but over time it ment I neglected my own needs, now I have a better ballance, and that I would say is the ingrediants to battling stress symptoms, getting enough sleep, eating regular and ballanced diet, hygeine, work/study, relaxation.

 

The problem with stress for some people is some of the symptoms you can ignore, until it causes serious consequences, seeing the signs early is essential for good mental health, J was offered Diazapam but we declined as the side effects funny enough can cause Anxiety.

 

We use a massive array of stratagies to help J, for J its release work using physical, creative and calming methods.

 

What about joining a course that looks at stress and anxiety and finding ways to deal with it, J attends a physio and a councillor, and we do a lot of work on anger management because sometimes anxiety can be a result of pent up anger, frustration.

 

I would strongly advise you to look into more complimentary therapies, IMO stay away from medications for Anxiety, but obvously dont stop them straight away, look at physical activity to help get rid of the toxins that build up throw the body making the stress hormone, if the stress hormone isnt used it just sits in your joints and muscles, causing lathergic reactions.

 

I would book into a yoga retreat, or a pamper weekend away somewhere.

 

 

The biggest thing you must do is look after your well being emotionally, mentally and physically.

 

I consider Js stress is part of his ASD/ADHD because a lot of things make him very anxious so its part of it but its how you manage it thats important.

 

JsMum

[Tally]

I don't think there's any clear difference in being stressed and feeling stressed. Stressed is a feeling, so if you are stressed, you will feel stressed. Some people go through stressful events successfully, and other people become stressed by things that many people don't have any problems with. It might be that the doctor assumes you must be stressed because of the things that you are dealing with. He may simply have picked up on one comment you have made, and thought it was more serious that you meant. But just because you have previously felt worse does not mean that you are 100% well at the moment. Perhaps your doctor can see that the issues that originally caused you to become stressed are not yet resolved.

 

Whether you recognise the feeling is another matter. It will affect you if you are stressed, whether you recognise it or not. In autism, it is often harder to recognise the feeling, but a lot of NTs have this problem too. It can come out in other ways, including both physical and emotional symptoms.

 

As for Psychiatrists - not all of them are the same. Since your appointment will likely be fairly short, it would be helpful to go in with a clear idea of exactly what is wrong. Make some notes if you think this will help. It would be good to explain how your autism impacts on things as concisely as possible. Explain that you find it difficult to recognise and verbalise your emotions, and that makes it hard for you to answer questions quickly. The Psychiatrist is the expert on medications, so it is good to see them to check you are on the optimum medication for your symptoms.

[Roseweave]

When I get really stressed, I get physically very ill and sometimes have panic attacks.

[Flora]

Quite often I confuse being stressed as being tired and usually when I'm stressed I keep falling asleep. Anxiety is different, if I'm feeling anxious I can't sleep or do anything really! Maybe that's what you're confusing it with, confusing stress and anxiety I mean.

 

Flora

[LizC]

hi Dr thinks I am suffering severe stress and anxiety too. for 3 months I have been feeling 'unbalanced' and weird dizzy feeling in my head more or less constantly I often feel like I am on boat and have tinnitus (ringing in my ears) and loads of floaters on my eyes. I felt extreemly anxious with it and am on anti ds again and sleeping pills although dr is trying to ween me of the sleeping pills. I never thought it possible to feel like this, didn't know could cause something as horrible as this. dr didn't know if I had inner ear infection or not but leaning more towards stress, been through alot with M last year then bad tooth at begining of year which cause loads of anxiety and we are moving house (on saturday)

 

it is awful isn't it? I am sure I have been on the brink of a nervous breakdown too. alot of the time I was not eating/sleeping andf just not going out/talking to anyone and crying loads.

[Mumble]

I have been feeling 'unbalanced' and weird dizzy feeling in my head more or less constantly I often feel like I am on boat and have tinnitus (ringing in my ears) and loads of floaters on my eyes.

Those are exactly the symptoms I have plus I have a few others just to make it more interesting - it's the headaches and 'wobbly head' that are really getting me down, but I still wouldn't say I feel stressed, if that makes sense - that's why I went to the docs actually because I had these symptoms and didn't know what was causing them and was a bit worried (it takes a lot to get me to docs!)

 

I just feel a bit odd being told how stressed I apparently am when for me (and I guess it's all relative) I feel quite relaxed I just wonder if what I previously thought was stress was stress or whether I'm totally confusing feelings (understanding feelings isn't exactly something I'm good at )

[Enid]

Hi Mumble sorry to hear you are not youself at the moment, I think feeling stressed effects us all differently, but usually, lack of sleep/appetite and feelings of anger, headaches etc are things that lots of people feel when they are anxious. When my son was excluded from school I was obviously really upset and had all of the above symptons, but just carried on with the appeals process, which took about 3 months from november 06 to December 07, it was a very stressful time but I didnt think I was stressed, just upset, the day I got the letter about the result of the appeal, I walked home from school after dropping off the other children, dreading opening the letter which I knew would be wiating for me, I lost the appeal and was upset/shocked but later that day, before I had time to tell him the outcome, my beloved Dad died unexpectedly, The next four months were taken up with sorting out his "estate" and fighting to find my son a place in school, I didnt think I was stressed, Upset, grieving. angry with the world and his wife, but strangley calm inside, it took friends to insist I go to the docs before I realised I wasnt coping as well as I thought, I didnt feel stressed, but was acting it and had all the symptons, so perhaps its the same with you, that incident in the dining roon at college that you shared with us may have been a sympton, sometimes we need others to give us a kick up the butt and say stop, you dont have to be Superwoman, admit you need help. Hope others who know you better have answers for you. <'> Take care. Enid

[warrenpenalver]

mumble ive got my handout from the stress/anxiety management course i did last summer. if you want i'll scan it in to adobe acrobat and email you the file

[pearl]

Well, I never think I'm depressed, being quite a chirpy type, but I always score mild/moderate on online tests

 

Like KarenA says, you can get so used to being stressed it becomes "normal" - then something tips you over the edge into meltdown, severe anxiety & only then do you "feel" stressed.

 

For me stress is normality - but when something extra stressful is added I get queasy, don't want to eat, free floating anxiety, can't sleep, then I know its gone too far & I have to get it sorted.

 

If the doc has made a referral he will have good reason to, hopefully this may help you in the long term <'>

[sadie]

Stress for me manifests itself as migraines..the sort where you're sick all day and don't feel right for several days after.

I'm on beta blockers for this: I didn't want to take the prescribed quantity at first but still got the migraines so now I'm being a good girl and following doctors orders and migraines are reasonably under control...... still have to sort out underlying causes though so that I can move on.....Counselling due to recommence soon...I'll keep you posted.

[ScienceGeek]

mumble ive got my handout from the stress/anxiety management course i did last summer. if you want i'll scan it in to adobe acrobat and email you the file

 

can you send it to me too please Warren?

[LizC]

Those are exactly the symptoms I have plus I have a few others just to make it more interesting - it's the headaches and 'wobbly head' that are really getting me down, but I still wouldn't say I feel stressed, if that makes sense - that's why I went to the docs actually because I had these symptoms and didn't know what was causing them and was a bit worried (it takes a lot to get me to docs!)

 

I just feel a bit odd being told how stressed I apparently am when for me (and I guess it's all relative) I feel quite relaxed I just wonder if what I previously thought was stress was stress or whether I'm totally confusing feelings (understanding feelings isn't exactly something I'm good at )

 

really? I thought I was suffering alone. I am having a bad day today more dizzy than usual, am sick of these wierd dizzy feeling and feels like my brain is being pulled around. are your symtoms all the time or now and again? I am scared these feelings will never go away. sometimes these things can happen a long time after you have gone through something stressful. i have had some headaches too and migraines, but they are normal for me. also have a lump feeling in my throat. these feeling get me very down too and then I get anxious for feeling this way.

[pearl]

Stress for me manifests itself as migraines..the sort where you're sick all day and don't feel right for several days after.

I'm on beta blockers for this: I didn't want to take the prescribed quantity at first but still got the migraines so now I'm being a good girl and following doctors orders and migraines are reasonably under control...... still have to sort out underlying causes though so that I can move on.....Counselling due to recommence soon...I'll keep you posted.

 

I used to get horrific migraines sadie, but haven't had one for ages now due to advancing years I reckon. See, theres a good side to everything, you go all wrinkled like a prune & yer bones start crumbling, but hey, you dont have to spend the day in a darkened room, except for illicit purposes!

[ScienceGeek]

I don't get migraines but my brain stops functioning, speech becomes incoherent, feel fuzzy around the edges. Everything around me feels like it is closing in. I think that is stress. Identifying emotions is not exactly a strong point of mine and especially stress, I normally don't notice until things have got to breaking point.

[warrenpenalver]

J can you pm an email please. I'll scan the document in the morning as its erm late

[Frangipani]

The reason I ask is because I've just been told by my GP that I have severe stress and that I'm at risk of breakdown if I don't take some time for myself, let my friends (plural - I did say that would be a problem as I'd have to find them first!!!) and family () step in and help, sort various issues etc. And yet I feel really OK, almost peaceful - there's a couple of things worrying me but I wouldn't say I'm stressed - I know I've felt much much worse than this and those are the times I would have said I feel stressed, but my GP seems to think that how I am now is serious - well they must because I have an urgent referral to a psychiatrist, medication for the symptoms and my anxiety meds The thing is, I don't think I'm stressed but they do, so how do I know - what does stress feel like?

 

I've had a really bad experience with a psychiatrist before ... anyone know how to get them to understand autism? Hopefully at least they can't dismiss that this time as I have a dx?

 

Mumble I have been down this path with both my kids and myself at present.

 

What worked best was a combination of face to face counselling - they can then suggest meds, the final decision is yours.

 

My son and daughter also had blood tests to see the bigger picture. A Psychiatrist may say meds, but will give you alternatives.

 

Simply - physical exercise releases 'happy endorphins.'

 

Talking face to face with a counsellor you can connect with, worked best for the three of us. Or with a close friend once you have your head sorted out.

 

I can't enjoy being with my friends if there are 'issues' to sort out. Yet they accept me as I am if I am not connecting so well, they know if I am quiet - thats okay - you find just listening to others refreshing as you can see that its like the ebb and flow of life - it isn't all roses for anyone.

 

I quite like my quiet times where I retreat from the world, to take stock, recharge, set new goals, look outside the square and reassess everything I am doing and question is it making me happy. Is it best for all concerned. Can I take a holiday from my life and help kids in orphanages etc. They are always looking for volunteers.

 

Swimming, pilates, yoga, power walking with music, cycling are all good but sometimes you need to alternate with complete stress free activities- a funny movie, sleeping in, reading a good book, holidays, bush walking, etc or rest, rest, rest - sleep, craft, sewing, painting, gardening, . As long as its stress free.

 

Are you unhappy with your life - this causes stress. Counselling will 'root it' out of you, then you will automatically reassess your life and start to make 'quality' decisions instead of remaining stuck - and makes changes. Take time for your life.

 

Stress = Life is unbalanced

Anxiety = overloaded

 

Result - it shows in your face.

 

Take it gently Mumble, this forum as always is full of pointers we so easily forget when we are stressed.

 

F xx

[Frangipani]

hi Dr thinks I am suffering severe stress and anxiety too. for 3 months I have been feeling 'unbalanced' and weird dizzy feeling in my head more or less constantly I often feel like I am on boat and have tinnitus (ringing in my ears) and loads of floaters on my eyes. I felt extreemly anxious with it and am on anti ds again and sleeping pills although dr is trying to ween me of the sleeping pills. I never thought it possible to feel like this, didn't know could cause something as horrible as this. dr didn't know if I had inner ear infection or not but leaning more towards stress, been through alot with M last year then bad tooth at begining of year which cause loads of anxiety and we are moving house (on saturday)

 

it is awful isn't it? I am sure I have been on the brink of a nervous breakdown too. alot of the time I was not eating/sleeping andf just not going out/talking to anyone and crying loads.

 

 

Those are exactly the symptoms I have plus I have a few others just to make it more interesting - it's the headaches and 'wobbly head' that are really getting me down, but I still wouldn't say I feel stressed, if that makes sense - that's why I went to the docs actually because I had these symptoms and didn't know what was causing them and was a bit worried (it takes a lot to get me to docs!)

 

I just feel a bit odd being told how stressed I apparently am when for me (and I guess it's all relative) I feel quite relaxed I just wonder if what I previously thought was stress was stress or whether I'm totally confusing feelings (understanding feelings isn't exactly something I'm good at )

 

I was wondering if you ever considered reading any books recommended by the doctor.

 

My doctor gave me a book to read on 'panic attacks' - its a brilliant book. Only small, but it describes how 'stress builds up' causing symptoms you both describe.

 

Breathing too fast ....... causes panic attacks.

 

Sometimes the obvious is giving off warning signs - but we ignore it, as if to say - 'I am fine' then 'wham' you cannot ignore it any longer. This happened to me, recently, the book helped me realise -I can't do this alone, I need a counsellor. I lost perspective, I am finding it again. It's like tunnel vision and a counsellor can be very beneficial to working out 'what has caused this? It can be something 'really' simple. If the counsellor can help you identify xyz a lot of these stress symptoms will vanish. I am an expert at blocking things out...... I have to stop doing that, I need to face my demons. We all have them - ignoring them is the worst thing you can do. With the right help it is a safe journey. Not so scary at all.

 

Sometimes you can't do it on your own.

 

x

[stressedmumto2]

Hi Mumble sorry to hear you are feling stressed at the mo and I hope you start to feel less stressed soon, you've had some good advice here which I have also found really helpfull.

 

Liz c how you describe things is exactly how I am feeling alot at the moment and I didn't think I was stressed, maybe I am, a few years ago I used to suffer very badly with panic attacks and thought I was having heart attacks and it was very scary, at the time beta blockers did help. <'>

[warrenpenalver]

Ive scanned in the Anxiety workbook now.

 

Its 20mb in pdf format so if you want a copy please pm me and i will send you the link as i hosted it online.

[stressedmumto2]

Hi Warren,

 

Thanks really appreciate this <'>

[CEJesson]

Hi Mumble.I have plenty of experience of feeling stressed.One of the things I found was that I had got so used to being stressed that I could not recognise that I was stressed anymore.I needed people to explain what the physical signs of stress were like.Karen.

 

Totally agree with your comment. It gets to the point where you only notice stress when you are actually severely angry.

 

It is not unusual 'not to notice' all stress. If you did notice all of it, it would be worse for you.

 

I saw a psychiatrist between May and August last year as a preparation exercise for University really. I was extremely worried constantly because it was exam time and the prospect of university was still something I was unsure to accept or not. Plus I had lost the support of my long term psychiatrist in 2005 (my father took him to a tribunal because he recommended I shouldnt see him in parents custody case), which I found extremely difficult. It was a lifeline. I received an anxiety workbook too.

 

Breathing techniques were encouraged. The breathing out for longer routine is a real treat. I still feel stressed constantly now, so can understand your plight. It usually takes someone else to say 'are you worried/stressed' for it to look obvious to me.

 

Mumble do you see a mentor? I cant remember if you mentioned this in any previous comments? Chatting to mine about course issues and even the most random of things, as well as serious issues to do with stress and worry, do help kickstart the week.

 

It is probably best not to engage in social situations that you consider will be damaging or threatening (for example too loud or so on). I found the walking club a fantastic retreat from the weeks tribulations - its so laid back, is there anything similar at your university if you are keen on this?

 

I wouldn't distrust your psychiatrist unless you come out with a feeling that everything he or she has said is not working. But even then, you may feel this, and gradually you get the hang of implementing their recommdations.

Edited May 17, 2008 by CEJesson

[Mumble]

Thanks Chris

 

Totally agree with your comment. It gets to the point where you only notice stress when you are actually severely angry.

Think this might be right - I've started thinking of all the things I'm stressed about - having an aspect of my disability laughed at being top - and it made me angry and I realised how stressed I am - so I stopped thinking!!!!

 

I am having a lot of trouble with the physical 'symptoms' so I know I need some help. My vision is really fuzzy and I just feel not quite on this planet.

 

Mumble do you see a mentor? I cant remember if you mentioned this in any previous comments? Chatting to mine about course issues and even the most random of things, as well as serious issues to do with stress and worry, do help kickstart the week.

Well this is a major issue - I don't have a mentor. I'm supposed to have 6 hours a week 1-2-1 support for which funding has been provided and I get nothing - zilch. I just lurch from crisis to crisis with bits of OK in the middle. Unfortunately the crisis points are getting closer so something got to happen before something gives. Can I ask who provides your mentor? My uni says they can't find one suitable - yep, apparently in the 7 million plus people who live in London there is no-one ...

 

I found the walking club a fantastic retreat from the weeks tribulations - its so laid back, is there anything similar at your university if you are keen on this?

My uni doesn't have a walking club - I would love something like this. I also am supposed to have two hours befriender support a week to attend a club of my choice, but guess what - I don't get that either. All the uni clubs at my uni are based on drinking, clubbing and socialising, even the supposed activity ones - the kayaks haven't seen water in months I'm hoping to joining a splinter group to one club which might be better I'm going to try and see but it is going to be difficult going without support.

 

I wouldn't distrust your psychiatrist unless you come out with a feeling that everything he or she has said is not working. But even then, you may feel this, and gradually you get the hang of implementing their recommdations.

No, well I need something to happen, so I'm going. I think it's not entirely voluntary anyway, or it is, but if I don't choose to go it won't be - something like that Unfortunately I had a very bad experience with a psychiatrist prior to dx - said I couldn't have an ASD because I was at uni... But I've filled this one in on some things by email and so far he seems ok. I've also got support from a certain OGB so I'm feeling a bit more hopeful

[CEJesson]

Well this is a major issue - I don't have a mentor. I'm supposed to have 6 hours a week 1-2-1 support for which funding has been provided and I get nothing - zilch. I just lurch from crisis to crisis with bits of OK in the middle. Unfortunately the crisis points are getting closer so something got to happen before something gives. Can I ask who provides your mentor? My uni says they can't find one suitable - yep, apparently in the 7 million plus people who live in London there is no-one ...

 

My mentor is actually a professor/lecture in Psychology at the uni and was provided through the Disability Support service at the university. Students can also become mentors here. Applications were sent back in March (course I didnt apply, as I need a mentor myself!)

 

My uni doesn't have a walking club - I would love something like this. I also am supposed to have two hours befriender support a week to attend a club of my choice, but guess what - I don't get that either. All the uni clubs at my uni are based on drinking, clubbing and socialising, even the supposed activity ones - the kayaks haven't seen water in months I'm hoping to joining a splinter group to one club which might be better I'm going to try and see but it is going to be difficult going without support.

 

Doesnt seem to be very...well quick thinking the support service? If funding has been provided (Through DSA?) then the support service should be acting the best ways they can to utilise it. What else have they said to you? To be honest I would have thought that London would have a good enough supply of mentors and befrienders.

Edited May 17, 2008 by CEJesson

[Tally]

Maybe if you contacted the agency who are providing the funding for your mentor, they would pressure your university to hire someone.