How do you hurry your child, without a meltdown

[Alexandra]

How do you hurry a child who panics when you try and hurry him up,

 

and goes into meltdown,

 

He has no sense of time, we bought a timer for him so he can see time going

 

but that hasn't worked, if we rush him he loses it and seems to go slower

 

Any ideas would be great Thanks

[JsMum]

As long as the tools are there to support them and they still struggle its down to good old planning, giving extra time, preperation, routine, keeping them informed, and the big P, patience, for our kids processing takes soo much longer, oportunities to actually fail is actually a great lesson, its contains loads of really essential feelings that we can learn to deal with and acceptance, that today it didnt work or well he did his best, lets look at what happend, it gets us to think how we can continue to support them, Some of Js biggest challenging behaviour made me think of some really creative stratagies, what visual timer do you have? it may be you need to experiement with different visual time concept, we first used the time tracker, time consuming in itself to use and J got onnoyed with the buzzing and lights, in the end we paid for a time timer, a red concept disply, we also have the CD ROM time timer, very good for PC/console timing, but we also give warnings in with the time, in 5 mins its time to stop the xbox, in 3 mins its time to stop the xbox.

 

Planning has to be a another key, setting out shoes, coats, clothes, toys ready, having everything at hand, so they know where it is, having spersific places for them to live too, shoe rack, coat hook, at there level/height.

 

Js difficulties is organising, planning, sequencing, so looking at a task and breaking it down, step by step, but inside stories or visual mapping.

 

One of the sure ways of a meltdown is rushing them, expecting it to be successful every time, not giving any allowance for any of their moods, feelings, so your expecting them to just do it when something maybe already upsetting them, they maybe in fear of where your going so allowing them to express and share thier worries and concerns and even the word HURRY UP may contribute to a meltdown because the expectation is just too over welming, if they could go any faster they would.

 

JsMum

[baddad]

I think all of the above + if/when that doesn't work accepting the inevitable meltdown and dealing, firmly, with it.

 

If you always back away from the 'meltdown' the meltdown becomes an effective tool of parent management rather than a 'meltdown'... Give your kid all the leeway you can, and then after that they have to play by our rules. That's life!

 

[Enid]

It is a really really good question, I struggle with it all the time, I am not a patient person and have to act as though I am to avoid meltdowns, it is about control with my ds a lot of the time, like if the taxi driver says hurry up as he dawdles through door he walks REALLY slow, I want to run out and slap him but one word from me or the taxi driver at that time and he would refuse to go, so I smile through gritted teeth and breath out as taxi drives away! sometimes he says its just a game, other times he is anxious and gets in a panic so I am really calm and we all wait and it is just not worth the meltdown although I do agree with baddads comments and if the other kids arn`t around and I dont mind missing wherever we are going I insist on him getting a move on a then deal with the fallout/meltdown but he never seems to learn from it Enid

[lynyona]

The only answer to that i can give from my own experience with kieran you dont!He doesnt understand hurry, like on Tuesday he was going out which is very rare and dh was at work later so he wanted to set off k had been deliberating for two hours wether to go out or not ,yes he will right , im not going like this i need to get changed first, ok changed ,then he puts his xbox on and starts playing that.lol bless

[bikemad]

Hurry up just isnt in my lad vocab it is a pointless exercise tbh even asking him to hurry up-if you do everything goes to pot bigtime. He is the same aswel bout deciding on doing something-can take hours n constant changing of his mind.

[allsetuk]

my son is like this too...has no clue about time ...and if i say hurry up or we have to ...he gets really worked up and hides in a blanket. im not the most patient of people and i find it really hard to get him to listen on any level ...im exhausted trying actually, everything seems to be about him controlling me , doing the opposite of what i say and the rest of the world thinking im a bad parent who doesnt exercise enough discipline !!

[Enid]

my son is like this too...has no clue about time ...and if i say hurry up or we have to ...he gets really worked up and hides in a blanket. im not the most patient of people and i find it really hard to get him to listen on any level ...im exhausted trying actually, everything seems to be about him controlling me , doing the opposite of what i say and the rest of the world thinking im a bad parent who doesnt exercise enough discipline !!

Couldnt agree more!!!! <'> <'> Enid

[bikemad]

my son is like this too...has no clue about time ...and if i say hurry up or we have to ...he gets really worked up and hides in a blanket. im not the most patient of people and i find it really hard to get him to listen on any level ...im exhausted trying actually, everything seems to be about him controlling me , doing the opposite of what i say and the rest of the world thinking im a bad parent who doesnt exercise enough discipline !!

 

Now that sounds so familier!!!!!!!!!