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biker69

can't eat won't eat?

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Hi everyone

could really do with some advice if anyone has any experience of this. Our son can't or won't eat, he has always been very limited with what he eats, like a lot of aspergers kids are , but has always eat plenty now he is pretty much eating nothing. he feels hungry and wants to eat but as soon as he gets it to his mouth he say's something happens to put him off, he studies every bit of food and then thinks he can see something on it and it puts him off. We are so worried about him and he is losing weight he looks so skinny. He is suffering with OCD and I'm wondering if this could be part of it. We had an appointment with CAHMs the other day and they feel he has high anxieties and is depressed , which we knew anyway, and have suggested CBT and medication but that's not helping right now. Sorry to go on I'm just really worried. Any advice would be welcome.

biker69 :tearful:

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hi we have this with the little one,, very limited choice of food and so on,,,we thought he was food phobic? but when we had o/t report it is cos he has sensory issues and is oral defensive,,,where as i was paranoid about his weight cos he looks soooo skinny,,,i have relaxed a bit now and dont worry what he eats,,as when he saw a dietician she said he was fine with the food he does eat even though it was limited...he is very visual and if he thinks it dont look right then he wont eat it an example of this is with toast,,it has to be pale as toast can be without it still being soft to touch,,no brown at all or it goes in the bin!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the butter has to have melted before he sees it or again it goes in the bin,,,,,so frustrating on times,,he has never even tried beans or spaghetti from a tin as he wont eat anything wet,,has never tried ketchup or anything like that,,he dont know what he is missing ha haxxxx jo

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My youngest NT son is a bit like this, he had serious heart problems as a baby and was tube fed till he was 2, the dietician visited regularly untin very recently, he still has to have 2 cartons a day of peadiasure plus to keep his weight stable, he only likes easy to eat food, such as mashed potatoes, beans, quiche, gravy, anything easy to eat. If you are really worried ask to be referred to a dietician. Enid

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My lad is like this-if it the wrong texture, colour, make etc he wont touch it sometimes he will ask for a certain food(out of maybe about 5 he actually likes!!!)but if he takes too big a mouthful he gags spits it out n wont eat again then. He is the same with toast it has to be a certain colour, anything cooked must be golden yellow not golden brown it is endless. Dont know what to suggest as it is a nightmare here too but didnt want to read n run. >:D<<'>

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Do you think it might be a germ thing thats worrying him? Or is it more that he worries there might be hair in his food or something like that? If his OCD involves worries over contamination, then I suppose it could be a factor......

If it IS something like that, then you could employ certain methods in the short term to try and reassure him, such as getting hold of some of those hairnet things to wear when cooking, to reduce risk of hairs falling in? But I don't think that would be a good idea long term as it could reinforce his fears....

 

If its a germ thing, then it would be a great idea to embark on a little research project with him, to teach him about 'food germs' and how they get destroyed or made innocuous during the cooking process. This was helpful with my eldest, as he went through a long stage of fear that his food might make him ill- vomiting is a big fear of his (mine too!!!). You could then get him involved in the cooking process, by buying one of those special catrering style thermometers and testing the temp of food you're cooking. This actually became quite fun for us.

 

Enid's suggestion seems sensible to me, though, I think it would be worthwhile to ask to see a dietician. And could you get back onto CMHS? Their approach ain't working, so they need to rethink!!

 

Hope things improve, Biker!!

 

Esther x

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Thanks for the replies :)

 

Isn't it strange how our kids are like this with their food, our son has always been the same with texture look and smell everything has got to be bland and dry, and Jo I love ketchup and mayo but I have to eat it out of sight or smell of him else it puts him off :rolleyes:.

There is definately a colour thing going on here isn't there cos he can't stand even slightly browned food either.

We are going in two weeks for another appointment with CAHMs but I haven't really got much faith in them through previous experience.

Enid I like the idea of the dietician but would CAHMs or GP refer us?

I think with the OCD it is a fear of contamination and I do think it is this causing the food thing but it isn't just food it is anything that he would have to swallow, even medicine if he has a headache he won't take a tablet because he is convinced it will do him harm.

Esther I did try the idea of making our food from scratch so he could see all the ingredients that goes in but he was still convinced that there was something already wrong with it :wallbash: but it was worth a thought :rolleyes:

Bikemad it is a nightmare and you really do learn to have an amazing amount of patience don't you :)

Well thanks again everyone :)

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There is a poster on The Parents Centre Forum who is something of an expert on OCD and ASD. You could do worse than finding your way there. There is an ADHD/Autism section where this poster can be found.

 

Cat

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i'm 22 and i have the same food problems as your son. i also have AS and OCD, and go through phases where i just can't cope with eating at all. i feel extremely anxious, but find it hard to work out why. all this week i've been unable to eat the meal cooked for the family. i find that at these times if i get to choose i have texture meals - all soft or all crunchy... or somtimes a color one where everything is white. is he old enough to pick out his own food, even if its things you think aren't a proper meal? one of my dinners this week was milkshake, smooth yogurt and soft cheese!

 

any food has to be better than none, and if its anxiety led it hopefully will pass with time as he becomes more comfortable with foods and feels more in control.

 

when i was a child i was very underweight and my mom believes in old fashioned parenting (i was undiagnosed) so if i didn't eat what everyone else had, i didn't eat. eventually she had to abandon this plan because i didn't give in. i'd rather be hungry than put something with a nasty texture in my mouth. i also have trouble with the idea of something that's touched somethign else. if there's crumbs on the chopping board i wont eat anything cut on there, and this just builds on the anxiety. i also have massive heat sensitivity in my mouth and like to eat things room temperature. thats the part of the sensory issues i find my parents struggle with most - i'll quite happily eat foods that most people would only consider eating hot.

 

perhaps try giving him as much control over his food as you can bear - take him to the shop and let him choose things, then let him pick anything he'd be willing to eat for his meals, prepared in any (safe) way. let him prepare it if possible, pick his plate and cutlery etc... (i have certain spoons and forks i prefer over others) it makes my mother cringe to see the way i eat some things - tinned soup straight from the tin to a bowl with no heating etc. but to me its the best way to eat it.

 

if he's having trouble with contamination shop bought individually packaged processed foods are going to be a safe bet, i particularly like kids products with clear labels stating whats NOT in them eg munchbunch yoghurts - no bits!.

 

hope something in there helps

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nobbynobbs my lad is like that he hates his food touching other food-ive got him a toddler plate with seperate segments for different food so they dont touch. He also eats a lot of food lukewarm.

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Hi Nobbynobbs

Thanks for replying. You sound just like my son and thankfully for him we are very understanding, to be quite honest I don't mind what he eats as long has he eats. He does have total control over choosing what and when, we went shopping yesterday but all he wanted was quorn chicken style burgers and milkshake, so we bulk brought while the going was good :lol: . He has never liked his food to touch on the plate and often will have different plates or bowls for each bit of food. My worry is that he is gone from being selective with his food to worrying that evrything is going to cause him harm, I know that he wants to eat cos he is hungry but he is afraid to eat it :unsure:.

Again thanks for replying people like yourself really help because you know what its like :)

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Hi everyone

could really do with some advice if anyone has any experience of this. Our son can't or won't eat, he has always been very limited with what he eats, like a lot of aspergers kids are , but has always eat plenty now he is pretty much eating nothing. he feels hungry and wants to eat but as soon as he gets it to his mouth he say's something happens to put him off, he studies every bit of food and then thinks he can see something on it and it puts him off. We are so worried about him and he is losing weight he looks so skinny. He is suffering with OCD and I'm wondering if this could be part of it. We had an appointment with CAHMs the other day and they feel he has high anxieties and is depressed , which we knew anyway, and have suggested CBT and medication but that's not helping right now. Sorry to go on I'm just really worried. Any advice would be welcome.

biker69 :tearful:

 

 

Hi, J has severe food aviodance and defo related to his sensory intregration disorder, so tasts, smells, textures, tempretures, Js is that bad he cant even drink water, becasue its warm, tastes of metal, and it is smells of chemicals, we have to buy flavoured water, or use natural fruits to get him to drink.

 

J was severely underweight and was suffering chest pains and palpatations due to high levels of anxiety which effected his appitite, he was so week, lathargic and white as a sheet, and was admitted to hospital three years ago, he had a battery of tests and the result was Severe Anxiety, and he was referred to a dietition by the peadatrition, over the last three years we have done a lot of sensory work, looking at using smells, giving him things that have a strong, sweet, sour smells, we then went to tasting them, licking, toutching, slowly moving throw the list that we where given by a specialist centre in developmental disorders.

 

J was monitored and weighed every few months and over periods we detailed behaviour before, during and after meals, as he was living on chocolate so we had to reduce that, once that was done his taste changed, we dont force feed or make meals an issue, we use ingrediants from scratch, cutting out preservatives and e numbers, J sees and touches the foods that his menu is now very varied such as amazingly chilli concarny, currys, and he is just started to tolerate vegetables on the same plate, this has been progressive and slow, with J been involved all the way throw.

 

J has now got to a more healther weight, his diet is much more healthier, he goes throw periods of not eating much but i just really ensure he has foods he likes or we will think of a delicous meal and we make it that night.

 

What you described of how he is hungry but as soon as its time to eat he is put off, was something J struggled with, basically he was ignoring his hunger signals, and then when he was hungry his hunger signals shut down, the body is a cycle and if we miss the real signals it gets disrupted, it sounds like he needs urgent referral to a dietition.

 

In the meantime keep a diary of what he does eat, actually eat, not whats left on the plate, note all drinks and describe the behaviour before, during and after the meal.

 

Its a real concern when they dont eat, and it does need addressing with a medical proffesional.

 

JsMum

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Thanks JsMum :)

It sounds like you have really been through it with J, what a worry for you. Was he always like that or did it just suddenly start? That is pretty good that he is trying all those different foods now. I have been keeping a diary of what he eats for about a week now it's not good, mainly choc spread sandwiches and bits of quorn burgers, nothing like the amount he should eat. I have tried making food from scratch , we made a trifle tonight but still no good. I am going to make appointment with GP tomorrow I know he will refer us but I suppose it will be a long waiting list for a dietition and do you think they will take it seriously at this stage or think we are over reacting? :unsure:

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Thanks JsMum :)

It sounds like you have really been through it with J, what a worry for you. Was he always like that or did it just suddenly start? That is pretty good that he is trying all those different foods now. I have been keeping a diary of what he eats for about a week now it's not good, mainly choc spread sandwiches and bits of quorn burgers, nothing like the amount he should eat. I have tried making food from scratch , we made a trifle tonight but still no good. I am going to make appointment with GP tomorrow I know he will refer us but I suppose it will be a long waiting list for a dietition and do you think they will take it seriously at this stage or think we are over reacting? :unsure:

 

I think the most important is if you have concerns then thats what matters, if you didnt do anything about it until it was maybe too late the doc may question why you waited, the doctor can also make his own medical opinion by doing a physical, checking weight and height, he may want to order bloods and look at thyroid functions and wait, or he may do both, do full pysical and refer to dietition.

 

In the early years of Js life I breast fed and he didnt have solids until he was 8 months because he had a lot of colic so waited, when he was weened it was homemade cooking purified so there wouldnt of been an issue and most of his diet was vegetables and fruit, as he moved onto solids thats when the difficulties started but I topped him up with my milk, until he was 13months, he then went onto cows milk and had yogurts and cheese spread, but even then it was similair foods, but his difficulties started to be more pronounced when he started school as his anxieties increased and this caused havoc with his appitite.

 

Today Js had an off day, and hasnt eaten any meals, its just the way they go, but we continue to try, Ive fortified his diet with milk today to ensure he gets calcium and calories, the other day he ate every meal so its just how they are emotionally too.

 

Hope the GP goes ok, try not to worry too much about his thoughts about why your there, whats important is the health of your son.

 

JsMum

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:wallbash: food, :wallbash: diet is farleys rusks 2 with soya milk for brekkies,plus dry chcolate shreddies and glass of milk seperate, and toast,buttered only,nothing else, snack time,2 bourbon or choclate digestives and ribena sparkling water,with iq fish oil added, lunch square chips(waffles)and Lilds chicken nuggets, afternoon after school, toast, ribena sparkiling water, and 2 chcolate biscuits, tea time red spagetti,which is a minc ragu with either rice or chooped spagetti, sometimes he likes sweet and sour chicken/pork with sweet chilli sauce, loves chocolate twix's mars, and yoplait yoguts baby portions ,he doesn't like bits of fruit or jam at the bottoms ones, and that hsi regular diet,,until now, he won't eat the ragu mince ,now, says he can't swallow it,so i have pureed it into baby food,so maybe he'll eat it that way :pray: otherwise i am at the end of ideas, he has a history of poo problems and he won't see the connection. :wallbash:

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I can't beleive what i'm reading about the toast having to be practically anaemic!!! My son is exactly the same. It has got to be really pale as with most of his cooked food (i say that as if he eats salad and fruit and stuff- i wish!!!) many a time i have been in a very well known baker asking for the lady to give me the palest of sausage rolls!

Just the look of it can put him off, then comes the smell and taste.... does anyone know any strategies to help overcome these sensory difficulties? OT has given me info but it is directed more toward the child who has difficulties knowing where their mouth is, can't feel it and will overstuff for example. Or for gagging children (like my other son) ie having a very cold drink before eating can help but none for help with the specific difficulties Lewis has.

If any suggestions have been posted i apologise- i had to skip a few as i'm in a rush this morning!!!

Thanks!

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Hello and thanks to everyone who replied :thumbs:.

I took our son to gp the other day and he has prescribed Fortisip, its like a milkshake, anyway he didn't feel a dietician would be helpful to us as they emphasise healthy eating too much and that isn't the issue here. Our lad is starting to get a bit more down him now, still not loads but he is trying so thats great :).

Biker69

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Our son (4) is quite picky with his food, too, but as he likes vegetables he gets two cooked meals a day. We have to wait till it's almost cold again, though, before he eats it.

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hi

my sons waiting for appointment with the dietician-aug it will be

we have same trouble.

the gp said they have those milkshake type drinks-i was buying complan but gp said they not designed for kids or something similar-or might be the sugar content in them -not sure-anyway we are waiting.....

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biker69 i was given ensure plus on prescription last year ,,i was told i had an eating disorder????????????????? by a psychiatrist??????????? if only they see what i can put away!!!!!anyway i done what i was told and had 3 to 4 milkshakes a day for 3 months,,,,they were quite nice to drink,,but i only gained 3 lbs in weight so they took me back off em,,, they said it is my metabolism sooooooooooo,,,they can work for some and maybe not for others,,cos i cant keep weight on,,,,,,, but try them and see,,,,,,,,,,,

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