Cat Report post Posted June 28, 2008 I am thinking about creating a Yahoo Group for parents who have autsitic/aspergers children who are going through or gearing up to puberty. We could all support each other and share things with each other that have worked of failed. We could also 'meltdown' together if we needed to . Living through puberty with our kids can be very difficult (been there once about to go there again) and if nothing else it would mean that we are not going through this alone. I realise that this is topic is also discussed here and am not trying to take away any of the members at all. I just wondered if there would be any interest in such a group? Would anyone be interested in joining. Cat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KarenT Report post Posted June 28, 2008 Oh yes! J's just 9 but it's looming, I can feel it. We've just worked through Let's Talk About Sex and some people were saying to me "Don't you think he's a bit young?" but afterwards I was convinced that the timing was just right. I'm expecting it to be a very difficult time and I think it would be useful to have an outlet for those specific issues. Keep us informed, Cat. KAren x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cat Report post Posted June 28, 2008 Oh Thanks Karen, Having been there and done this once I know how difficult it can be - and - I think that some of our children gear up for puberty earlier than their peers physically. Emotionally they can be a long way behind. My youngest is now 11 and physically his body is already changing and has been for about a year now. He, unlike his older brother is very excited by these changes in his body. His older brother was terrified and we lived through some very dark times with him. Cat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted June 28, 2008 This is a huge issue in our house atm. Eldest DD, 10, AS is beginning to develop. I've tried broaching the subject of puberty, as I did with DS 14. I found with him I could be open and honest. She reacted very negatively and became very upset. I had to put it on a backburner. I've bought a couple of books, which I've kind of suggested casually she could read, and she point blank refuses to even look at them. I've tried the chilled out, mention it every so often, drip feed approach.........no response. When I went to her recent sports day I noticed that many of her friends had begun to wear bra's and DD is totally oblivious to it. I'm at a loss really......I've have warned her that she will be learning about this at school, and asked that if she has any questions she come and ask me....but whether she does or doesn't remains to be seen. She seems so naive in comparision to her friends, and I've said this before on the forum, but she reminds me of child out of an Enid Blyton book. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted June 28, 2008 I'm in, no problems much so far, just interest in all the changes. And a few naughty searches on the net. I'm going to need some support and ideas when he starts looking at real girls the way the looks at chocolate cake though. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cat Report post Posted June 28, 2008 OK I am going to do this - form a group that is. I have already had responses here and on another parents forum. Could anyone interested please pm me your e-mail address then I will send you out an invite to the new group - give me a chance to create it first though I will make this a closed group by invitation only that way we can be as sure as you can be that there are no trolls. Cat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brooke Report post Posted June 28, 2008 Hi Cat I would also be interested my ds is nearly 8 but he already asks questions about certain things and im unsure where to even start I learnt everything from friends and school and i dont want this to be the case for my boys but i also find it difficult to know how and what to say to him. Im going to buy some books recommended so hopefully we will start there but i do worry about when he hits puberty. Brooke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
av16 Report post Posted June 28, 2008 Hello - I would like to join. DS 11 has been the object of female attention for some time, he doesn't know how to deal with it. Also getting in to trouble at school for inappropriate comments. Thanks, AV Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pippin Report post Posted June 28, 2008 "I'm going to need some support and ideas when he starts looking at real girls the way the looks at chocolate cake though." EEEEKKK!!!!! Hubby hasn't managed that one yet!!!. P had "the talk" at school the other week (along with his twin sister). The conversation in the car afterwards was mind-boggling. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sallya Report post Posted June 28, 2008 Yes please Cat, ds is turning into a right little Kevin! s xxx very good idea Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted June 28, 2008 Is JP too old at nearly 19? But he is around 12 emotionally. And 50 in his future planning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cat Report post Posted June 28, 2008 I have opened a group and will start and send out some invites tomorrow - in between decorating any excuse to hand over the paint brush to someone else I will not put an age limit on the group. My eldest is 21 next month and he still has his moments. Can I just say that parents of girls are very welcome to. Puberty can be very hard indeed for girls. Send me your addies folk and I will send out the invites Cat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted June 29, 2008 That sounds like a really good idea, for us it is anxiety and depression, we have manic highs and devastating lows , would really love to speak to others in this position , I think its a really good idea, well done Cat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cariad Report post Posted June 29, 2008 Yes please, T is 12 and is developing very fast down below and is very sexually aware, it makes showering him a bit more for me. I'm wondering how to tell him in an AS way about sex and girls. ATM is all crude with him and lad talk, he talks about "humping" things and I try to change the subject *gulp*.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cat Report post Posted June 29, 2008 I have now sent out invitations to everyone who has asked to join the 'Surviving Puberty' Group. Please note that the invitation with say that it is from ASD-AIM that is the name I have registered the group in but it is the 'Surviving Puberty Group' Looking forward to seeing you there Cat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
harmony Report post Posted June 29, 2008 I have now sent out invitations to everyone who has asked to join the 'Surviving Puberty' Group. Please note that the invitation with say that it is from ASD-AIM that is the name I have registered the group in but it is the 'Surviving Puberty Group' Looking forward to seeing you there Cat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BusyLizzie100 Report post Posted June 29, 2008 Hello, please can I join too? DS1 is 10.5 and just on the verge... I've been thinking recently how best to approach talking to him about puberty etc, so it would be really helpful. Lizzie x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cat Report post Posted June 29, 2008 Send me your addy Lizzie and anyone else who is interested - just send it via pm. It looks like this is a hot topic I am quite amazed at the number of parents wanting to join us Cat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jo4themo Report post Posted June 30, 2008 Hi Cat yes I am interested. N is almost 10 and has just started puberty. Last week she had her first sex ed lessons at school - technically it's just for the Year 6 children (N is Year 4) but as it is becoming obvious she is growing up they asked us if we would like her to join them. She watched a childbirth video last Fri and was not fazed by it at all! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enid Report post Posted June 30, 2008 God yes join me up!!!!!! Enid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sadie Report post Posted June 30, 2008 And me! No probs at the mo with my DD aged 13 but one never knows what is round the corner!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jb1964 Report post Posted June 30, 2008 Hi Cat, Don't know if my daughters too old - she's fifteen next month and well into it (for about the last 3 yrs).............. Many thanks, Jb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cat Report post Posted June 30, 2008 (edited) Just about to send out some more invites to the group. There is no age limit - my son is almost 21 (the elder of the two) and I swear there are days we are still in the full flow of puberty For anyone who wants to join the puberty group just pm me your e-mail address. Been AWOL tonight. Went to see Joseph with my Mum (not Lee Mead one of the runners up) but it was A - mazing. Had a really good night. Cat Edited June 30, 2008 by Cat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CEJesson Report post Posted July 1, 2008 Im now 19 so past the development of puberty stage however just to say this is a good idea to pursue! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted July 1, 2008 Im now 19 so past the development of puberty stage however just to say this is a good idea to pursue! I'm not so worried about the 'mechanics' of puberty, more the relationships side of things and the possibility that meltdowns and the like may be a part of that. Help to explain things that will confuse him, and the support of my peers for those pear-shaped times. So I may still be needing the group for a decade or so! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CEJesson Report post Posted July 1, 2008 (edited) Well to be honest I am also focussed on the relationship side too, because I find it hard to get them and keep them simple as! Primarily a confidence issue. Secondly it was a social interaction issue (less so now) Edited July 1, 2008 by CEJesson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LittleRae Report post Posted July 2, 2008 I'd like to join too, please, Cat. Will PM my e-mail address. A Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LittleRae Report post Posted July 2, 2008 I'd like to join too, please, Cat. Will PM my e-mail address. A Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cat Report post Posted July 2, 2008 As far as I am aware I have now invited everyone who has sent me their details. If you have not had an invite please let me know and I will try again. Cat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SarahSH Report post Posted July 9, 2008 Hi Cat I would really like to join and will send you my email address as a PM. My son is a very young 16 and has it all just around the corner think. He is starting to hope girls notice him (I heard him talking to his sister) but looks way younger than his peers, voice hasn't broken yet. Plus he talks in such a formal way that people find it hard to be relaxed and joke around with him. So would love to talk to parents in similar position, Sarah Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
soraya Report post Posted July 9, 2008 Hi Cat can l please join ? Sorry only just picked up this thread will pm my email address. Thanks there is a lot of us that need this as our darling AS kids turn into monsters during puberty Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tabby-cat Report post Posted February 12, 2010 Hi, I've searched for this group but haven't been able to find it. Can anyone tell me if it ever actually materialised please? Thank you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sooze2 Report post Posted February 13, 2010 Me too please. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KarenT Report post Posted February 13, 2010 Do you know, I don't think I got my invitation to join the group. Must have been some reason why I didn't pursue it at the time. Cat, if you're still doing the group, can you give us an update and some info on how we can join? Thanks Karen x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fieldmouse Report post Posted February 13, 2010 I can not really think IF my puberty was made any worse because of my Asperger's. I know that I very silently got on with things. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fieldmouse Report post Posted February 13, 2010 I do not know that my puberty was made any worse because of my Aspergers. I know that I just got on with things quite bsilently. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mandyque Report post Posted February 25, 2010 I'm not sure I'll have time to join another group, but I can share a little about my daughter who is currently going through puberty. She began to develop about 18 months ago, when tiny breast buds began to form. We started by trying to get her used to wearing sanitary pads in her pants before she actually needed them, so when her period did start she wouldn't have two shocks to deal with, ie the period and the pads being urgently needed. It worked really well, at first she pulled them out and threw them down the toilet or in the bin, but eventually she got the idea. She started her period in December and she has dealt with it better than any of my wildest dreams would have allowed! We started off by giving her a fresh pair of pants, complete with pad already in, and she just changed her pants, but now she has got the idea of changing just the pad and will stick them in herself, which is amazing, considering she is severely autistic and non verbal! My only worry is that the hormones have kicked in occasional seizures, which she didn't have before. It's not a foregone conclusion that this will happen to all kids, but it is common unfortunately So she is currently waiting to see a doctor about it, to see if she will need meds or not. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MelowMeldrew Report post Posted February 26, 2010 (edited) I'm not sure I'll have time to join another group, but I can share a little about my daughter who is currently going through puberty. She began to develop about 18 months ago, when tiny breast buds began to form. We started by trying to get her used to wearing sanitary pads in her pants before she actually needed them, so when her period did start she wouldn't have two shocks to deal with, ie the period and the pads being urgently needed. It worked really well, at first she pulled them out and threw them down the toilet or in the bin, but eventually she got the idea. She started her period in December and she has dealt with it better than any of my wildest dreams would have allowed! We started off by giving her a fresh pair of pants, complete with pad already in, and she just changed her pants, but now she has got the idea of changing just the pad and will stick them in herself, which is amazing, considering she is severely autistic and non verbal! My only worry is that the hormones have kicked in occasional seizures, which she didn't have before. It's not a foregone conclusion that this will happen to all kids, but it is common unfortunately So she is currently waiting to see a doctor about it, to see if she will need meds or not. I recall when my son was 12 I spoke to the school about sex education (Which I assumed because of silly nanny attitudes by the Labour party was now compulsory), and how were they approaching the subject there, they said "We DON'T teach sex education, it's not applicable to most autistics here.. we would be inviting chaos.' lol The advice seems to be only respond when a child asks... mine has limited conversation, but he is body aware sexually already, and I have spoken to him about male changes/puberty, he seems more interested in that than girls at present. His school was of the view to ignore that interest ! I think they are leaving it to parents and that is probably the best way. I'm not a fan of state sex education anyway, they have spent 246 million so far and got nowhere. It's my job not theirs. Edited February 26, 2010 by MelowMeldrew Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KezT Report post Posted February 26, 2010 DS was too young a couple of years ago - but I would like to join up now if it is still running? I will pm email addy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
westie Report post Posted April 1, 2010 Hi, not sure if the group originally mentioned in this thread is up and running BUT there is a facebook group for parents of children with autism/AS where issues like this are discussed, see link http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?g...6623&ref=mf Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites