MandyB Report post Posted June 29, 2008 Hi folks, just after a bit of advice please, we have a neurodevelopmental assessment tomorrow for DS aged 4. He displays lots of ASD traits and we're fairly certain he will be on the spectrum, especially after all the stuff I've been reading on here. My question is, do I take him totally unprepared for the meeting and have a "take him as you find him" policy, which could result in him having a hissy fit and refusing to go in, or do I do a little preparation work about what to expect? I don't want the poor little guy to be stressed but does it add credence to our case if he behaves as he might in an unfamiliar situation? What do you think? Mandy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted June 29, 2008 Hi I didn't rest easily doing this, but I didn't prepare my son for appointments because I wanted the various specialists to see my how how he normally is (I didn't want anything to mask his behaviour). In addition, in advance of appointments, I sent in photocopies of a few pages out of a diary that I'd kept detailing eg how my son behaves at christmas/his birthday/outings/trips to shoe shops/etc. I would think that anything that would help paint a picture of how your child normally presents (eg school report), is helpful because a specialist is really only seeing a snapshot. It's so easy to feel a bit overwhelmed (or underwhelmed on occasions!), so it's important to write down any questions you may have so you don't forget them - don't feel embarassed about openly showing your list of questions. I recall wondering just prior to each appointment, is this the one, where we're finally going to get a diagnosis. Best of luck. Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
morgan and alexandra Report post Posted June 29, 2008 Hi It's so long ago to remember the first time we took DD for assessments but she has always been ok, I've always been open with her about where we are going and that the man or woman just want s to check her over. She would still show her symptoms but not have meltdowns thankfully. It's your call at the end of the day. Whatever happens just remember if DS does have a meltdown and refuse to go in then they will have seen it before and it will not shock them. Its hard to know what to do but good luck and just know if you need a chat after then we are all here for you <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluefish Report post Posted June 29, 2008 Hi,that's a really difficult one. I totally understand how you feel. When ds was going to see paediatrician I was worried they wouldn't see the "real"him but at same time was kind of hoping they would find nothing wrong. My only advice is, when we had our first appointment ds in my eyes behaved beautifully. All I told him was we were going to see a special doctor for a chat and he might get to do some puzzels and things.He thought it was a real treat and skipped on in. The paediatrician later told me he had thought ds could be on the spectrum by the way he walked up the stairs on the way to the room! We were refered to child development centre for assesment after that appointment. Our paediatrician was very experienced in asd and had a special interest in it so we were very lucky. I think (this just what I think not what I think you should or shouldn't do) that if you prepare your son you could explain to the paediatrician that you had to thoroughly prepare him in order for him to cope with this situation and give examples of other times you have to do the same. If it is anything like our first appointment I was asked lots and lots of questions about how he behavied etc. Ds had to do lots of puzzels and was asked lots of things(which he didn't couldn't answer!) Good Luck I hope it all goes ok for you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted June 29, 2008 I don't think I would take him unprepared (if it were me that is). Sorry, but I can't understand why anyone would deliberately withhold preparing their child for something if they thought it would upset them! An ASD dx isn't reliant on the child being distressed, uncoperative or upset. If a child has an ASD, then it will be just as apparent to the assessor if he/she is in a good mood or in a terrible mood! In fact it will be far easier to assess them if they are in the mood to cooperate. Some aspects of the assessment can be unsettling for the child without adding extra stress to the situation by leaving them unprepared. Good luck for the assessment tomorrow <'> Flora Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MandyB Report post Posted June 29, 2008 Thanks all of you, some really good advice in there. I think on balance I'll tell him it'll be a bit like seeing the speech therapist lady - which he quite likes! but that there'll be different things for him to do. Will take his favourite toy maybe so if he gets stressed I can get it out and he can relax a little. Thanks so much I appreciate your time to answer and give some varied but very valid perspectives! Mandy xx <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bikemad Report post Posted June 30, 2008 Hope the appointment went well. I dont prepare my lad cos that way he is as he is if that makes sense. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted June 30, 2008 Mandy, how did the appointment go? Flora X Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MandyB Report post Posted June 30, 2008 Mandy, how did the appointment go? Flora X Hi Flora, it went well! Great doctor, knew her stuff, and she felt it is the right decision to give him The Diagnosis! I think we've been very lucky to get to this point in a relatively short time. The pre-school support advisor that first observed DS at play group had sent in a very thorough report and this helped enormously to get to referral stage. My little boy was so patient too, we were in there ages and he just kept busy doing his thing. My thoughts tonight are .....he has an asd.....OK so now what??? I'm a bit blown away by all the info actually and just need to get my head around it. It's good news isn't it??? Doesn't change my little chap and just means we can get the right help! Anyway feeling ok about it right now. Thanks for your message Mandy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites