DRIVEL...

[baddad]

Following on from the Hu uuuuuuuge success of the meaning of Liff thread (died on it's hem hem after four days or so!). I thought we could give something else a try

 

You know that 'Q.I.' (quite interesting) it's like that, but with a bit of a twist... the twist being that the only reference material needed as verification is THE HACKENTHROPE BOOK OF LIES (Ayr Menuin, c.2010)... anyone attempting to sully the thread with facts, Interesting or otherwise, confirmed by other sources will be suitably chastised...

 

SO ... My first batch of 'Quite Interesting' Facts...

 

---------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

TV Celebrity Alan Titchmarsh is a Timelord. He travels up and down the garden, through the space-time continuum, in a collapsible wheelbarrow called The TARDIS (Time And Relative Distance In Shrubbery). He also has a Sonic Screwdriver, which comes in really handy since he lost the key to the padlock on the potting shed.

 

WHO???

 

Penguins CAN fly. They just choose not to because of their unreliable landing gear.

 

Next to man, mice are the most socially evolved species on the planet. Up to 4 generations will happily co-habit within the same hive, the youngest members actively supporting their great-grandparents in their dotage by pushing them around in tiny bath chairs constructed entirely from lolly sticks and discarded buttons.

 

Table Tennis was a popular sport in ancient China. Dried and salted turbot were used as bats, or ?paddles?, while rare specimens of spineless sea-urchin were employed as balls. Interest in the game waned as spineless sea urchin-stocks dwindled, despite major investment by fishmongers in intensive farming projects. Traditionalists believed the farmed product to be infinitely inferior to their naturally occurring cousin, because you couldn?t get the top-spin.

 

Contrary to popular belief the game of chess is actually a 20th century invention. Developed by advertising executive Chester Chessington in 1973 as part of a television commercial campaign for a leading brand of luncheon relish, Chess (or ?Chessington?) quickly developed a cult status amongst geeks, freaks and asperger's before spilling over into the mass marketplace. In 1981 major riots erupted in New Delhi following the abolition of the ?huffing? rule, which went on to become a key feature in Chessington?s next project, ?Draughtingtons?.

 

Most people are aware that Honey is made by bees. What?s not so commonly known is the method of production, which entails small gangs of drone bees rubbing woodlice together until friction and nervous tension causes them to perspire. The excreted sweat is then collected by worker bees who sweeten the mixture with various blends of naturally occurring fructose-sugars and aspartame. This multi-million dollar industry is largely controlled by a cartel of super-rich honey magnates headed by the infamous B. Bumble, Godfather of the notorious Acacia Cosa Nostra.

 

Pepperami ? The ancient Chinese art of paper folding ? was actually introduced to the orient by western explorer Marco ?Minty? Polo. Bored one day after a hard days trekking, Polo took the shopping list his wife had given him from his back pocket and folded it into a red/yellow/blue/green fortune telling device, to the great amusement of his host the Chinese Emperor Ve Tsin. Tsin soon had sweatshops up and running all over China, filled with children as young as five bent daily over tables strewn with rice paper coming up with new designs. Fortunately, the children loved it (just peek in any reception class if you don?t believe me, bless 'em, little tongues poking out of the corner of their mouths in rapt concentration?awwwwwwww), and were handsomely rewarded for their better efforts with sweets, days out at the petting zoo and stickers for their star charts.

 

Contrary to popular belief, monkey nuts are not monkey?s nuts. So you can eat them without feeling guilty. Honestly. Scout?s honour.

 

JUST SAY NO

 

Scientists in Scranton, New Jersey were amazed to discover that their local rabbit population are actually more vegetable than animal. First reports of this startling phenomenon filtered through to news-desks within days of an equally fantastic story describing a strange, localised meteorite shower descending on the town in the early hours of Sunday morning.

 

-----------------------------------------

 

Did i mention i've had a very high temperature?

 

[smiley]

He's back.....................

 

[pearl]

This is much more fun than modding innit?

 

 

 

In Norway, pickled herring is a separate food group.

 

Albert Einstein was an avid bodybuilder.

 

Winnie the Pooh was originally named "Winnie the Pee".

 

Isaac Newton invented the game Hopscotch.

 

By law, all globes in Australia are displayed upside down.

 

Although Thursday is historically thought of as being named after the god Thor, it was actually named for his brother Thur.

[Flora]

The town Coventry... and 'being sent to Coventry'(origins of).

 

Some time in the 15th century a man called Norman Neville (who once was a farm labourer until a big cart horse stood on his foot and as a result he was temporarily not fit enough for manual labour and ended up working from home wittling bits of wood for all the other farm hands to plug into the walls of their cottages to stop the drafts in winter) ended up falling out with nearly every member of his family. Norman was very bored waiting for his foot to heal and had taken to pondering on his surroundings and making unfavourable comparisons between members of his family and certain farm animals. Apparently he went too far when he made some comment about the strong and uncanny resemblance between his MIL and the pig they were fattening up for winter provisions; unsurprisingly this didn't go down too well with his wife and all the other women folk... and like these things often do it got blown out of all proportion (or so he thought because he couldn't see what all the fuss was about... he'd only been making a factual observation). He was told that he had to leave because nobody was speaking to him any more and basically he was 'in Coventry' in the eyes of his whole family. The farmer happened to be heading South to oversee the selling of his sheep wool so he offered to give Norman a ride on his cart to warmer climes. When they came to a good camping place, with wooded area for shelter and a river, Norman decided to go no further so the farmer left him there and continued on his journey South, leaving him with only a few tools, some food provisions and a warm blanket. Norman built himself a little shack and lived off fresh meet he hunted in the woods. He decided to stay and eventually more people settled around him and he even ended up getting married again (nobody checked up much on these things back then so he never got discovered as a bigamist) and over the years the settlement grew and became a town.... and was eventually named Coventry in memory of Norman and the reasons why he ended up there. Prior to this Coventry was a state of being... similar to 'being in disgrace' but in this case 'being in Coventry'. The term 'sent to Coventry' came after the town was established and given that name.

 

Flo'

[jo jones]

lovin it ha ha

[bid]

My head hurts!

 

Boho

[Frangipani]

Traveling through outback Australia can be as eerie as it is arduous. Many travellers have reported the sight of strange lights floating in the night sky and over the years they have been given the name of the Min Min Lights. One night a lone traveller saw these lights and saw no harm in following them to wherever they led. He walked for hours towards the lights but they never seemed to come any closer, retreating from him just as quickly as he approached them. Eventually he got tired of following them and turned around. As soon as he turned his back, the lights began to follow him instead. As soon as he realized, he quickened his pace, hoping to escape the lights. He eventually made it into an outback pub where he breathlessly related his story, to discover that the Min Min lights are well known in the outback, not least for their strange appearance. As he discovered (and as most of the outback bushmen already know), any traveller who is unlucky enough to be caught by the Min Min lights will disappear entirely.

 

So from this tale we draw a word of warning: when travelling in the outback, try to cover as much distance as you can during daylight hours ? and NEVER follow the Min Min lights.

 

 

 

Edited July 4, 2008 by Frangipani

[TheNeil]

Useless bits of trivia that are 'dubious'? I see...

 

Otters are allergic to sausages but are partial to hamburgers.

 

The term 'computer' is derived from the latin Compus in exelcis which, when translated literally means 'excellent camp site Mr Merriwether'.

 

Handbags were originally developed by the Romans to keep hands in.

 

If someone was to walk from Land's End to John O Groats, they'd take over 84,000,000,000,001 steps, consume over 54,000,000,000 calories and be required, by law, to inform Sir Ian Botham of the attempt whilst, at the same time, also be required, by law, to hide the fact from (not Sir) Bill Beaumont. If at any point during the expedition (not Sir) Bill Beaumont was alerted to the attempt he would be legally entitled to try to run them down using a petrol driven lawnmower under constitutional rules laid out by Queen Victoria.

 

Colour was invented on September the 14th of October 1932 - prior to this date everything was black and white.

 

Eminent scientist Sir Emeryboard Vestibule spent over 63 years searching for the theorem that would finally solve Drake's conundrum (Drake's Conundrum postulates that no one person can ever be reagrded as the one true champion of the popular game 'Simon Says' while beardy short-ass Noel Edmonds continues to convince a bunch of braying donkeys that it takes 45 minutes to open 23 red boxes). Despite years of research, Vestibule was unable to find the required theorem and died penniless. Following his death Mrs Vestibule then found the theorem behind the fridge.

 

Sue Barker shares a flat with Judith Charmers.

 

During World War II, pigs were used as a cheap alternative to balloons at children's parties, which led to the classic Dame Vera Lynne wartime smash hit 'Can I Have a Pig Balloon Please Mr Hitler?'.

 

Dame Michael Parkinson was contractually oblidged to have Billy Connolly appear on his chat show every week during the 1970's and 80's following a mix-up whereby the two of them received each others holiday photos from Boots. While Connolly's photos depicted a charming family holiday in the beard-regions of outer Germany, Dame Michael's photos revealed several topless shots of Mrs Dame Michael (as well as some 'racy' shots of DameMichael herself)) and provided the beardy Scot comedian with sufficient 'blackmail material' to make ensure that he appeared onscreen week-in, week-out for the next two decades.

 

There is no word in the French language for 'red'. The closest equivalent is 'La safaramatin' which translates into German as 'Das unterbungerpanterfantastamongeroofoofoofuberstrassen'. This, in turn, translates into the Finnish 'Heini Kovaleinen undas gooben Louise Hamilton...ja?'. This English translation of this is, sadly, unprintable on a family forum. Home Office guidelines covering the whole subject suggest that anyone wishing to buy a red jumper in France simply buys a blue one instead.

 

The University of Hull offers a degree course in Game Show Hosting.

 

To date scientists have come up with no practical use for John Barrowman.

 

Bunsen burners are named after Bunsen in The Muppet Show.

[smiley]

[pearl]

It is physically impossible to urinate and give blood at the same time.

 

In China, John Steinbeck's "The Grapes of Wrath" is translated as "Angry Berries."

 

If you fill a standard 750ml wine bottle with live hornets, their angry buzzing will resonate at precisely the right frequency to shatter the glass.

 

During his famous "Blue Period", Pablo Picasso invented the substance that eventually became known as Play-Doh.

 

At thirteen hospitals around the country, there is a Dr. Pepper on staff.

 

Every 23 seconds, someone is having sex in a carpet store.

 

Singer Cat Stevens is allergic to cats.

 

The Chilean hummingbird has been known to suck blood from animals like a giant mosquito.

[baddad]

Ahhh.... minor digression...

looking at the rules of the competition all facts must be verifiable and ONLY verifiable through the Hackenthrope book of lies. We need something like they have on that radio show when people can shout 'digression' when a fact is spotted that's included in other encyclopedic volumes too... might i suggest "Hacken-Whacken"? That being the case, I have spotted my first "Hacken-Whacken" :

 

Colour was invented on September the 14th of October 1932 - prior to this date everything was black and white.

 

Sadly, despite many truly excellent QI facts contained in his post, TN has lost points for the inclusion of this snippet which is also reported within several Calvin & Hobbes anthologies

 

 

 

While not technically "Hacken-Whacken" we would also point out that "Aussie-Rules" for the game appear to differ significantly by allowing the inclusion of facts so widely reported that even the term "Half-Hacken" would seem redundant. This seems to be in line with general Australian policy, which gave us 'Aussie Rules" football (neither rugby with hats, as epitimosed by the American term 'football', nor 'soccer' as defined by our on useage of the term) and one day cricket

 

Otherwise - excellent work, dudes Some truly amazing facts for us all to share with our friends in the pub of an evening. If only we had any.

 

I'll be back later with/for more... who knows, perhaps with a Hacken-Whacken of my own

 

 

[TheNeil]

Sadly, despite many truly excellent QI facts contained in his post, TN has lost points for the inclusion of this snippet which is also reported within several Calvin & Hobbes anthologies

Ah I see, you're using the outdated 2010 edition of the book. The new 2011 edition lists this as a bone fide lie (as credited to Professor Bernard Delamont-delamere who pointed out that Calvin and Hobbes were the invention of an underwear manufacturer and that, as a result of this, their observations were pants).

 

I digress, judge's decision is final blah, blah, blah

[Flora]

The word 'drivel' was invented by Queen Victoria to describe garullous servants. When she was feeling sociable but had nothing better to do, she would ask for her 'drivels' to wait on her that day so she could enjoy some mindless entertainment.

 

Flo'

[Frangipani]

While not technically "Hacken-Whacken" we would also point out that "Aussie-Rules" for the game appear to differ significantly by allowing the inclusion of facts so widely reported that even the term "Half-Hacken" would seem redundant. This seems to be in line with general Australian policy, which gave us 'Aussie Rules" football (neither rugby with hats, as epitimosed by the American term 'football', nor 'soccer' as defined by our on useage of the term) and one day cricket

 

 

 

Errr are you referring to me I am a bit unsure of this, we don't have this program in Aussie. Also, where is this book, I can't find it anywhere. Ummm, I may need some help. Unsure what you mean.

 

Edited July 4, 2008 by Frangipani

[mossgrove]

It's like the Batcave all over again, only much worse! What has BD started?

 

Simon

[baddad]

Errr are you referring to me I am a bit unsure of this, we don't have this program in Aussie. Also, where is this book, I can't find it anywhere. Ummm, I may need some help. Unsure what you mean.

 

 

Hi Frangipani - ermmm... none of this is real so no worries - well apart from the fact that QI is a programme about 'interesting facts' (quite interesting = QI).

 

There is no Hackenthrope book of lies (the year of publication is a bit of a giveaway - that's a reference to a book advertised in Monty Python's Big Red Bok called The Hackenthorpe book of lies, which is "crammed with over 60 million untrue facts and figures"...

 

(NB - Just discovered that's a lie too - it's in The Brand New Monty Python Bok (aka T**s and B**s - a weekly look at church architecture), not the Big red one (which is blue )

Hope it's becoming clearer...

 

Basically, you can post any interesting (and suitable for a 'PG' audience) bottom-dribble you want, just so long as it would reasonably fit the remit for inclusion in The Hackenthorpe Book of Lies...

 

The 'Rule' I introduced this morning (Hacken-Whacken) came as an afterthought, when I read TN's post about the world being B&W before the 1930's. By coincidence he touched on a "fact" which does actually appear in a Calvin & Hobbes book (which i'll post a link too later), and it added an extra element of fun to introduce the HW rule for any similar coincidences... as there is:

 

Nothing New Under The Sun [George Gershwin-Washington-Stevenson-Rocket (1737 - 1943) ]

The chances are that somebody's QI fact will ring a bell with someone else, and that in itself is a QI fact well worthy of a Hacken-Whack....

 

and thus my strange little world of strange continues to spin on it's wobbly little way

 

[Frangipani]

Thanks

 

Edited July 4, 2008 by Frangipani

[Flora]

Since his retirement Bill Clinton spends his time watching re-runs of Little House on the Prairie. Apparently he has started to call Hilary 'ma' and for exercise he enjoys running bare foot accross their lawn which he calls the prairie. Hilary is apparently a bit fed up of getting checked table cloths and flowered aprons of him for christmas and birthday. She is quoted as saying 'I don't know how long I can stand it'.

 

Flora

[pearl]

The lead role for the movie "Gandhi" originally was offered to Burt Reynolds.

 

If you notify the cabin crew that it's your birthday, most airlines will let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.

 

Rome wasn't built in a day, although the builder told them it would be.

 

When eaten, long vegetables (such as carrots, celery, etc.) that have been sliced lengthwise have double the vitamins absorbed by the body.

 

Tuesday didn't exist on calendars until 1955.

 

It is possible to stand an egg up on its end, but only at the equator, on the day of the Summer Solstice.

 

Kent is the only English county without an active volcano.

Edited July 4, 2008 by pearl

[bid]

Food eaten whilst standing up and looking out of the kitchewn window has no calories.

 

Boho

[Suze]

...........these are good, only wish I was clever enough to do some

 

..........I might digress a bit and offer up some questions which perhaps some clever peeps can tell me the answer too

 

.....why is the sky blue?

 

................where does ear wax come from?

 

why is belly button fluff always navy blue?

 

the real truth behind tidal flow

...........any ideas

[Flora]

ear wax:

 

It took scientists many years to discover where ear wax actually comes from. Finally in 1939 (About a month before war was declared) Michael Yakanakkarakovisch, and eminent research psychiatrist of the time, made the discovery quite accidently. It was during his study on the different mind set of two study groups. The first study group was comprised of people who were always thinking about things and coming up with ideas... they came from many walks of life ranging from High Court Judges to ingenious house wives. The second study group were people who gave little thought to anything at all and had hardly any ideas... they too came from a good cross section of society ranging from the people who decide where to paint double yellow lines and senior civil servants. Quite by accident he discovered the people in the first study group produced far more ear wax than those in the second study group and after a bit more research he found it was a result of all the thoughts they had buzzing around their heads. The thoughts generate friction and heat which produces a sap like substance (ear wax) which is then deposited in the ear via a minute conduit (Latin term :minimus thinkus). The candidates from the second study group did produce ear wax but only 3% of the amount produced by the first and it was usually very hard, crusty and old looking.

 

Edited July 4, 2008 by Flora

[pearl]

Most toothaches can be prevented by flossing daily for forty-five minutes.

 

Goldfish are neither gold nor fish.

 

Apple is working on a solar-powered iPod. The only drawback is that the solar panels make the unit the size of a large pizza box.

 

You're most likely to be stung by a bee in windy weather.

 

The first remote control took 8 minutes to change channels.

[Flora]

The original blue print for the internet was invented by spiders (I can't be sure, but this one is so obvious, that it probably consitutes a Hacken-Whaken )

 

Belly button fluff is blue because it is by Appointment to Her Majesty to the Queen.

 

Flo'

[Flora]

.....why is the sky blue?

 

On this one Suze you've either been misinformed or need your eyes tested

 

The sky is not blue, it's bright yellow in the morning, green in the afternoon and blends naturally into the colour purple... except for Autumn when it's orange.... I thought everybody knew that

 

Flo' xxxxxxxxx

[Bagpuss]

Whooosh............this thread has gone completely over my head

 

Don't get it

[baddad]

Apple is working on a solar-powered iPod. The only drawback is that the solar panels make the unit the size of a large pizza box.

 

Ooooooooooh.... I think we've got our first Half-Hacken of the game....

This is sooooo close to The old Two Ron's sketch with Ronnie B looking at his "TV Watch" and Ronnie C being amazed until he asks 'And what's in the briefcase you're carrying?"...

 

I'll try to think up some more rules - and the first one is that all Hacken-Whackens & Half-Hacken's have to be endorsed by the shows host (that's me - until someone can catch me in a genuine Hacken-Whacken or Half-Hacken, at which juncture we all move one space to the right until everyone's had a go) to achieve True-Hacken status. Any host who abuses their position by refusing to declare a reliably genuine sounding Hacken-Whacken purely to retain their Hacken-Host status will be boiled in fats drained from the body of Christopher Bigguns until they relinquish their seat (or it drops off the bone by itself from over-boiling).

 

Suze, hen... the sky isn't blue, it's black. It's LIGHT that's blue (which is why we have the colour Light Blue) - but only when reflected back from a surface covered by atoms. At night, we see the sky's true colour because all the atoms are tucked up asleep in bed. The aurara borealis is a nightclub where all the naughty atoms hang out after dark. Shame on them never be afraid to ask, you'll never learn anything if you dunt <'>

 

Oh oh oh - just for this one, 'cos I could, full confirmation of the first official Hacken-Whacken:

 

Gilly gilly ossen feffa Hacken-Whacken bogen by the sea

 

[baddad]

Hollywood actor Dick Van Dyke is actually a London cockney born and bred. Go figure.

 

Hollywood actor Rip Torn was named after his father's favourite gardening trousers.

 

TV chef Hugh Fearsome Duckingstool once served placenta pate to guests at a child's christening party. Not to be outdone, Jamie Bath-Oliver included a recipe for stuffed, baked wombat's womb in his healthy skool dinners campaign, but was heavily criticised by parents for serving this with fresh green salad rather than chips in batter. While yet to be confirmed, rumours abound regarding a new recipe from Gordon Ramsbottom for a dessert combining lizard's gizzards with a coulis of red onion and raspberry served on a tourniquet of rhubarb meringue.

 

Contrary to popular belief, Napoleon Bonaparte was NOT of diminutive stature. At six foot four he was in fact, considerably taller than average for the period, but walked everywhere on his knees to confuse his enemies; a trick he picked up from his artist friend Toulouse Lautrec, who employed the same ruse for looking up dancer's skirts at Le Follies Berge. In battle, he would disguise his height by painting the bottom half of his riding breeches the same colour as his horse. (Napoleon, not Toulouse Lautrec, who very rarely rode because he had an irrational fear of stirrups).

 

Toulouse Lautrec skirt scoping at Follies

 

 

The active ingredient in denture fixative is dinosaur venom.

 

Inexplicably, Jamiroquai is NOT an anagram of "I'm a jerk"

 

Freda, the Blue Peter Tortoise, was secretly replaced in 1983 with a lookalike, after being accidentally bent during an interview with the psychic Uri Geller. Several attempts were made to fix the original shell by the mystic showman, but to no avail. Geller eventually "shelled out" more than �25.00 (it was a lot of money in those days) to provide the homeless reptile with a Bakelite_TM replacement. Freda lived happily in her new home for a further three days, before losing her life while bravely defending the Blue Peter Garden from "mindless thugs". Show co-host, Simon Groom, who hurled Freda at the marauders, said at the time 'She was valiant to the last. She deserves a medal'. He later made her one out of a milk bottle top, cardboard and some sticky back plastic, but to be honest it looked a bit cheap so she refused, even in death, to wear it.

 

Contrary to popular belief, money doesn't grow on trees. [That one's for Ben]

 

TV personality Dara O'Breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen is not an Orc.

 

TV personality Bill Bailey isn't either.

 

TV Personality Dylan Moran is a comedian. Go figure.

 

The original Stonehenge, built in 1873 by the Henge Stonemasonry Company to mark the inauguration of their new chairman Sebastian Sebastian III , was destroyed in 1976 by a particularly loud and extended bass riff performed by Lemmy, bassist with the hot space-rock pop combo Hawkwind, during one of their legendary Solfests. Fortunately, the gathered crowd were all too stoned to notice, and a local builder was able to refurbish the site next morning with some lintels he had left over from a cash-in-hand job just up the road in Amesbury. Between the two of them, he and Lemmy (an ex-plasterer) managed to pull off the work in less than two hours - a testament to British craft(y)manship that has remained a secret to this day!

 

Edited July 4, 2008 by baddad

[pearl]

Gordon Brown had electrolysis in 2005 to remove his eyebrows. The ones you see now are tattooed on.

 

A Frisbee has been stuck on the top of Nelson's Column since 1988

 

The last words of 47% of British men are "Hey, watch this!".

 

In America, motorists drive on the right side of the road. In the UK, motorists drive on the left side of the road. In Norway, they drive in the middle.

 

One of every two thousand babies is born fully clothed.

 

People who live together for extended periods end up blinking at the same time.

[bid]

The original Stonehenge, built in 1873 by the Henge Stonemasonry Company to mark the inauguration of their new chairman Sebastian Sebastian III , was destroyed in 1976 by a particularly loud and extended bass riff performed by Lemmy, bassist with the hot space-rock pop combo Hawkwind, during one of their legendary Solfests. Fortunately, the gathered crowd were all too stoned to notice, and a local builder was able to refurbish the site next morning with some lintels he had left over from a cash-in-hand job just up the road in Amesbury. Between the two of them, he and Lemmy (an ex-plasterer) managed to pull off the work in less than two hours - a testament to British craft(y)manship that has remained a secret to this day!

 

But I thought you said it all had to be lies in this thread, and I still have my vinyl copy of 'Henge Live '76', featuring said Lemmy riff and subsequent Henge-quake...

 

Boho

[bid]

the hot space-rock pop combo Hawkwind

 

Ms Bid 'Boho' Bazonkas is in fact a member of their fire-eating dance troupe, oh yes!

 

With silver body paint!!

 

Boho

Edited July 4, 2008 by bid

[Suze]

................. ................ .......BEGINING TO GET IT NOW...............these are realy funny..........

 

.........keep it up guys

[pearl]

An embarrassed David Blaine had to call the AA when he locked his keys in his car in 2006

 

The only English words ending in the letters "mt" are dreamt and flemt.

 

One-third of explorers who've visited both the North and South Poles developed bipolar disorder.

[Flora]

An embarrassed David Blaine had to call the AA when he locked his keys in his car in 2006

 

The only English words ending in the letters "mt" are dreamt and flemt.

 

One-third of explorers who've visited both the North and South Poles developed bipolar disorder.

 

[bid]

Simon Cowell will is set to be the new Armani male 'trolley' model.

 

Boho

Edited July 5, 2008 by bid

[pearl]

The smoking ban is set to extend to all private homes from 2010.

The only place you will be able to smoke inside is submerged in a bath full of water.

I've just told my mum

[pearl]

Once the entire country has gone digital, your TV licence will be calculated according to the number of digits in your family. For example, a family of four comprises 80 digits, so their TV licence will cost �800. There will be a 5% reduction for any digit lost in an accident. Anyone who is found to have deliberately amputated fingers or toes in order to qualify for a reduction will have their TV confiscated.

Edited July 5, 2008 by pearl

[Flora]

Once the entire country has gone digital, your TV licence will be calculated according to the number of digits in your family. For example, a family of four comprises 80 digits, so their TV licence will cost �800. There will be a 5% reduction for any digit lost in an accident. Anyone who is found to have deliberately amputated fingers or toes in order to qualify for a reduction will have their TV confiscated.

 

There is also a sub-clause which states that those with more than 20 digits as a congenital condition will not be discriminated against and will only be charged for the usual 20 digits; those who have deliberately added to their 20 digits, for cosmetic or other purposes, will be charged 5% per digit added.

Edited July 5, 2008 by Flora

[smiley]

...........and those whose ring finger is longer than their pointy finger, will be allowed a discount.

[Flora]

'The Fogg on the Tyne' is a song which was written and sung by a young lady whose fiance, Phileas Fogg, was sailing down the river Tyne after one of his many trips to Holland. She wanted everyone to know that the 'Fogg on the Tyne' was all hers, bless her