sesley Report post Posted July 4, 2008 he says what he see's and thinks and goes on and on repeating himself until he gets you to respond to him, so you swtich off and say "yes dear" so while i was looking at cheese h'e is saying hello to everyone he see's and says mum they are my friends, "no dear you don't know them!" so he says over and over again with no idea about volume control, Mum his face is brown isn't it i look around and see a annoyed black man who walks on he says what he see's basically.now do i feel embarrassed or go and apologise to the man if i see him again?i don't want to tell everyone i meet that his behaviour is due to his autism and thats all it mean't really mum his face is brown is a fact. have you had situations where ,whatevers going on no harm was mean't Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted July 4, 2008 he says what he see's and thinks and goes on and on repeating himself until he gets you to respond to him, so you swtich off and say "yes dear" so while i was looking at cheese h'e is saying hello to everyone he see's and says mum they are my friends, "no dear you don't know them!" so he says over and over again with no idea about volume control, Mum his face is brown isn't it i look around and see a annoyed black man who walks on he says what he see's basically.now do i feel embarrassed or go and apologise to the man if i see him again?i don't want to tell everyone i meet that his behaviour is due to his autism and thats all it mean't really mum his face is brown is a fact. have you had situations where ,whatevers going on no harm was mean't If you missed your chance i'd just let it go unless the next chance doesn't seem staged... personally, I don't see any harm in this situation in explaining that he says what he sees as part of his autism, there's no 'shame' attached to that, and he doesn't intend any insult by what he says, so a concise simple explanation seems good on all levels. Our home town has quite a small ethnic population, so Ben almost always commented if we passed someone. I always used to say when he said - look there's someone with brown skin "yes, isn't it lovely?", and usually we'd get a chance to stop and talk a bit more to them, and in that context I'd explain why he would comment. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bikemad Report post Posted July 4, 2008 Aaawwwww hun I so know how you feel. My lad is the same n so loud too with it-we had a dwarf pass us the other day in the local shop n ds was like why is he so small mam over n over-thankfully I knew the bloke in passing but he has done it in other places like when we went to Cardiff Castle n he wanted to know why a poor Chinese woman's eyes were all wonky!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGeek Report post Posted July 4, 2008 (edited) I'm the same, blurt out my observations straight away although now narrowed down to mainly things to do with height. I was just walking in the supermarket the other day when a 6.5ft person walked past me and I had to shout "cor blimey you is tall!" Also I normally blurt out when someone with cold hands shakes my hands. My wife finds it embarrasing and amusing at the same time. Edited July 4, 2008 by ScienceGeek Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted July 4, 2008 I guess it depends on how old the child is. I dont know what age kids are expected to be "racially and ethnically aware" under this PC society. surely comments like "hes brown" etc are more niaive and innocent than racial slur words. Its more embarassing as the parent than to the child or the other person. I guess the problem is when hes at an age where people think he should know. ethnic minorities are still minorities in many areas so from his eyes he sees a person with different colour skin or features so points it out. I know i used to get told off for pointing out things when i did finally learn to do it Its interesting and you have to show your interested to mummy or whoever. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mumble_rocks Report post Posted July 4, 2008 I am a great one for doing that! My mouth works way before my brain! When we were in Wales we went to the Electric Mountain, we were on a tour and we were prewarned it would be noisy ect so I knew what to expect and my TA was sitting next to me we had filled a whole bus with other students whom I know or rather they know me! This tour guide started speaking and I blurted out without going via brain, 'this welsh woman is really not doing a good job of speaking english we really need subtitles!' It was not until the whole bus laughed as I had said what everyone was thinking. What made it worse is that the TA told me that I shouldnt have said it but I couldnt see why not! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted July 4, 2008 When JP was about 9, he remarked, not once, but twice, that he didnt know whether the person measuring him for shoes was male or female. I still go hot thinking about it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bikemad Report post Posted July 5, 2008 I am a great one for doing that! My mouth works way before my brain! When we were in Wales we went to the Electric Mountain, we were on a tour and we were prewarned it would be noisy ect so I knew what to expect and my TA was sitting next to me we had filled a whole bus with other students whom I know or rather they know me! This tour guide started speaking and I blurted out without going via brain, 'this welsh woman is really not doing a good job of speaking english we really need subtitles!' It was not until the whole bus laughed as I had said what everyone was thinking. What made it worse is that the TA told me that I shouldnt have said it but I couldnt see why not! Im Welsh n I dont find anything wrong with that-I think it is great. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thompsons Report post Posted July 5, 2008 (edited) I think quite a lot of us have been in this situation The thing is that they're entirely innocent about it all. This has happened to us on more than one occasion. One that stands out in my mind was when we were shopping and passed a large man. Levi said very loudly, "Wow! That man is huuuge!!!" And then I try to explain to Levi that it's not polite to make observations like that about people; which in turn only confused him because as he said, "It's true!" Edited July 5, 2008 by Thompsons Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sooze2 Report post Posted July 5, 2008 Yes, we have it too. DS talks constantly but will stop mid flow and stare at someone and then as soon as he says "MUMMIIIIIEEEEEEE" I know there will be a loud abservation thats not needed about to escape from his mouth. Like - BLEURRR I don't want to kiss grandma, she has a hairy chin - as she bends to kiss him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shnoing Report post Posted July 10, 2008 he says what he see's and thinks and goes on and on repeating himself until he gets you to respond to him, so you swtich off and say "yes dear" ..., Mum his face is brown isn't it ... have you had situations where ,whatevers going on no harm was mean't At least your son recognizes people/faces. Our son drones on and on about cars, streetcars, trains and the occasional aeroplane overhead and all he says in buses/streetcars is 'and then?' - referring to the next station(s). No volume control, as you mentioned. Btw, as long as he was in a pram, everyone looked and commented, now we're testing how he gets along with a wheelchair and we don't get any comments any more about what he says. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted July 10, 2008 Oh heck I have had some excruciatingly embarrassing experiences with Ben... he's 11 now though and it has finally sunk in that he has to wait until later and tell me quietly!!! Sometimes he'll drag me aside and whisper if he can't hold it in but at least I no longer have agonising embarrassment of him saying in a loud clear voice 'mum, that's lady's got a beard' (actually, it's funny because my mum says I used to do the exact same thing... my brother used to say to her before we got on a bus... 'don't let her talk to anyone' ... so rest assured they do grow out of it... I always keep my comments more or less to myself now Bill never commented on people's faces (he has prosopagnosia) but he'd comment on their character.... 'why is that lady shouting at her little child'... 'isn't XXXX really irritating, I think he should stop doing that' REALLY loudly in their very presence or even on occasion directly to the person in question! , and these were adults he was talking about, not other kids! Flora Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jo4themo Report post Posted July 10, 2008 One of the more embarrassing comments N has made was when she was about 4 or 5 (before she was dx) and we were at McDonalds. The young man that served us had a rather bad case of acne and N said "That man has chicken pox" Luckily we were in the drive-through bit (N hates eating in at McD) and I don't think he heard her. We have never had any comments about other people's skin tones, which considering we live in a small country town is amazing, but N tends to accept that people are different colours. Mind you, I work at my local playgroup and last week we were talking about people from different countries and a member of staff was reading a book about an African boy to the group and a little lad piped up with "His face is dirty" - and he's def not on the Spectrum!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jo4themo Report post Posted July 10, 2008 Forgot to add but yesterday N had an open evening at her school and I was sat with her looking at her work when one of her class mates and his little sister came over. N talked to her friend and his sister and asked the little girl her name. The little girl told her and N said that it was a pretty name and then she turned to me and added "and she's got a cute face" before whispering "but she has bad breath"!!!! At least she seems to be beginning to understand tact by whispering it to me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jb1964 Report post Posted July 10, 2008 Bill never commented on people's faces (he has prosopagnosia) but he'd comment on their character.... 'why is that lady shouting at her little child'... 'isn't XXXX really irritating, I think he should stop doing that' REALLY loudly in their very presence or even on occasion directly to the person in question! , and these were adults he was talking about, not other kids! Flora Yes my daughter is pretty much the same - she's never commented on faces - even recently during some history homework she didn't realise that Simon Western had suffered burns - she just thought he looked normal - which I told her is a lovely quality - but as Flora says - someone shouting at their child etc would be more likely to catch her attention - or other things like how much longer is X staying - when someone is visiting. On the other hand though my NT 5yr old says everything loudly without thinking i.e. why is that lady in a wheelchair - or I like pink skin because pink is my favourite colour...... Take care, Jb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jo jones Report post Posted July 10, 2008 we saw friends out last week wiv blaine and the guy said to blaine ahhh i like your hair u look like me((this guy shaved his head bald))) blaine said nooooo u are bald mine is naked ha ha ha dunno where he gets this from,,another thing i find really wierd is he associates death as failing??????? when my bird died last year he said oh it has failed!!!!!!!!!!!!! we done the burial thing in the garden and he was fine,,,,then ten minutes later went and dug him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! urghhhhhhhhhhhhh said he wanted him back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is also loud and sometimes comes across as rude,,even though he is saying what he sees,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sesley Report post Posted July 17, 2008 we cycled to tescos yesturday,he did very well, he has trouble, controlling the bike properly, with brakes , i was concerned we were alongside a busy road, so i found a country lane nearby that went in our direction,to explore on the way back, and found riding on uneven bumpy gprund difficult, so we made slow progess, behind as soldier walked past us P greets him with "Hello Sarge!" now where did he get that from,the solider just walked on by no comment ,you cheeky monkey i said,a bit later he said my ###### hurt, where did you get that from ? i said,no comment form him just interested in the playground nearby they do say the funnest things Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
