end of yr present

[Nic m]

I have always thought it a lovely polite thing to do, and have always encouraged my dd to do this.

I buy for everyone who is involved with my dd, and she, like me gets great joy from giving gifts to others.

The people who stand out for my dd always get something handmade, be it the present or the card.

This year, in particular being the last year of primary school and also being the best year she has ever had at school (i can't sing its praises highly enough) i pushed the boat out.

My dd said her teachers face lit up when she saw the flowers for the headteacher (we got her other gifts) so i will send her some flowers at the start of term.

I have been so pleased with my dd's progress that if i could i would give them anything.

I was at the cinema last week, and we bumped into one of the classroom helpers and she came over and hugged my daughter and thanked me for the flowers and card we gave her, and she said she will always treasure the card.

This made my daughter's night (and mine).

 

Nic

[MelowMeldrew]

MM, I don't think it's a fad to be polite! There's nothing faddy about giving a card or a gift to say thank you to someone for being nice or helpful. It's no different from leaving a box a chocolates for the nurses after a stay in hospital, or giving the bin men a tip at christmas.

 

Flora

 

 

I always thought virtue is its own reward My son's school and teacher know I support them and what they do, but I am not buying in to gifts and cards, I don't see the point. It ends up a chore and a nuisance like all 'fads', which I think it is, you seem to have to thank everyone for everything even when they either provide nothing, or get paid for it anyway. Do you give your GP presents and cards ? Your social workers if you have them ? your regular bus drivers ? your local corner shopkeeper ? the list is pretty endless....... I don't really do birthday cards or anything either. (It's just me basically, I decided day one I wasn't going to do it, and carried on that way). My own family I do not think have had a card from me in 35 years, I think they would get a shock if I did send one ! They know how I feel, that is good enough... you show care and love every day not once a year with a cheap card... Why would I give cards and presents to people I DON'T know ?

[teachermum1]

Since J was at nursery, all staff (teachers and TAs) working with him have always gone the extra mile (or ten!) - being bitten, kicked, scratched, verbally abused, screamed at, having to run after him when he runs out of school, having to differentiate everything, having to write reams and reams of paperwork to get J the right amount of support in his Statement or to support DLA applications, having to put up with masses of contact from and with me - so I have always fel that they deserve presents. Yes, they are doing their jobs, but I am a teacher and know that what they do at J's school goes waaaaayyyy beyond what they have to do. They could have pushed for him to be permanently excluded years ago, but instead have dedicated themselves to making J succeed.

 

I know that they always like the cards I encourage/ make J make for them best, but I also want to give my thanks too. So I always do a card, and always presents too. This year, I gave his teacher (who will also have J again next year!) a pampering day for 2 voucher. Yes, expensive, but totally deserved and worth it.

 

She and J's TA (who also got a nice present) are the most important people in J's life, after me, and have just as much impact on his wellbeing. They have more impact on him than members of my own family!

 

I WANT to reward them - it's not a case of having to. That doesn't mean that people are wrong not to give presents to school staff. It's just very right in my case.

[Mumble]

I've been trying to keep out of this thread - I've found the huge range of opinions really interesting and I think so much of it is to do with individuals' own experiences of theirs or their children's schools/teachers.

 

When I was teaching, I often got little gifts/cards from the children/parents at the end of the school year. It wasn't the actual gift as such that meant something, but what it symbolised. I worked for a while at an independent school, but one where only about 20% of the children were paying full/any fees - most were funded by LEA/forces education. It was always interesting there at the end of the year, because you had some parents trying to outdo each other and I used to in a way feel for those who didn't have the resources to do so - but the cost and money spent wasn't important - it was the thought. A bunch of flowers and a thank you card are lovely - I still have some cards and letters from parents/pupils and I still read them sometimes now because they mean so much to me.

 

I was at the cinema last week, and we bumped into one of the classroom helpers and she came over and hugged my daughter and thanked me for the flowers and card we gave her, and she said she will always treasure the card.

I have a letter from some parents apologising for giving me such a hard time over their son and thanking me for what I did for him - that means so much to me - it shows recognition of what I did and of my professionalism and that is so important to me.

 

I always thought virtue is its own reward My son's school and teacher know I support them and what they do, but I am not buying in to gifts and cards, I don't see the point. It ends up a chore and a nuisance like all 'fads', which I think it is, you seem to have to thank everyone for everything even when they either provide nothing, or get paid for it anyway. Do you give your GP presents and cards ? Your social workers if you have them ? your regular bus drivers ? your local corner shopkeeper ? the list is pretty endless.......

I think there's a difference here - I'm not sure that as teachers (or anyone) we do just 'know' that parents etc. support us. Teachers have so much to deal with themselves in terms of paperwork, new policies, ....... that sometimes it really feels as if you are being taken for granted. A good teacher makes a huge difference, and I think that's very easy to overlook with all the press surrounding poor teachers, people acting unprofessionally, that a small thank you really does mean a lot.

 

As for other services, then yes, exactly the same, if people have helped me and made things more bearable then I thank them. Often they will say there was no need but this doesn't mean it's not something they appreciate. For instance, I've thanked my hall managers recently - maybe it was only a 'cheap card' - but the gesture and the thought behind it and the words I compose to go in it mean more, much more. And yes, I've thanked my GP surgery who have really put up with a lot from me and nurses when I've been in hospital (even if they insisted in putting needles in me and I wasn't very nice to them at the time )

 

It's not, to me, about just thanking anyone for what they do anyway. It's about showing gratitude to people who see individuals rather than a job and who do what they can, often in a small undramatic way that may go unnoticed, to make someones else's life just a little easier and more tolerable.

[pookie170]

You know, I always buy a little gift for those who work most closely with my kids, though at nursery it was one gift for all the staff-I'd have been bankrupt otherwise!! And I do it because these are people who have shown caring, understanding and affection to my sons-and with my eldest, that was no easy task, for years on end! I don't go all out,but I try to get something they might find useful....though I don't think this is something parents HAVE to do. If you thank people when they go that extra mile, then they know its appreciated, which is a reward in itself, I think. It has been for me, at any rate.

 

When Cal's school went through a major internal overhaul and several staff members left, Cal made them cards, and I wrote a wee note alongside his drawing, expressing my thanks for the work they'd done with my son, and saying how much it meant to me. Didn't get too Hallmarky, but I felt I had to let them know it would not be forgotten. And every one of them said that meant far more to them than the pen set or funky keyring that accompanied it.

Cal picked his keyworkers present though-it was a lovely ornament of little boy standing with his hands cupped around a golden heart, and on the base was an inscription, 'Heart of gold.' And he chose it because he said thats what she had, so I got him to write that on a little card that we slipped inside the box. It wasn't a dear ornament but it echoed Cal's sentiments and I know it was very much appreciated. He also insisted we stick a photo of him in the card,so she wouldn't forget what he looked like, and again, that meant a great deal to her. We went to lots of trouble because she pulled out all the stops for him, went over and above, and fought for him at every turn, and she deserved it, frankly.

 

I wouldn't do it for just anyone, and in fact, when Cal left nursery, the parting box of chocs was for the student nursery nurses only, as the 'real' teachers had failed him so badly I felt the only thing I was capable of giving them was a piece of my mind....although I like the thought of a triffid, Kathryn! (hoohoo, that made me guffaw!!)

 

I have no idea what I'll do at the end of this year when he leaves primary (eep!! ) as his school have been so fantastic.......plenty of time for that though!

 

Esther

[rach04]

Im tight and never buy presents for the end of the year. But this year as ds1 is leaving i proudly presented his lsa with a bunch of flowers and a card to say thanks for what shes done in front of ds1s teacher/senco i really over did the sentiments . As we about to walk out the door ds1s senco/teacher said good luck at your new school j and i muttered loudly yer better luck than with this school

[MelowMeldrew]

I've been trying to keep out of this thread - I've found the huge range of opinions really interesting and I think so much of it is to do with individuals' own experiences of theirs or their children's schools/teachers.

 

When I was teaching, I often got little gifts/cards from the children/parents at the end of the school year. It wasn't the actual gift as such that meant something, but what it symbolised. I worked for a while at an independent school, but one where only about 20% of the children were paying full/any fees - most were funded by LEA/forces education. It was always interesting there at the end of the year, because you had some parents trying to outdo each other and I used to in a way feel for those who didn't have the resources to do so - but the cost and money spent wasn't important - it was the thought. A bunch of flowers and a thank you card are lovely - I still have some cards and letters from parents/pupils and I still read them sometimes now because they mean so much to me.

 

 

I have a letter from some parents apologising for giving me such a hard time over their son and thanking me for what I did for him - that means so much to me - it shows recognition of what I did and of my professionalism and that is so important to me.

 

 

I think there's a difference here - I'm not sure that as teachers (or anyone) we do just 'know' that parents etc. support us. Teachers have so much to deal with themselves in terms of paperwork, new policies, ....... that sometimes it really feels as if you are being taken for granted. A good teacher makes a huge difference, and I think that's very easy to overlook with all the press surrounding poor teachers, people acting unprofessionally, that a small thank you really does mean a lot.

 

As for other services, then yes, exactly the same, if people have helped me and made things more bearable then I thank them. Often they will say there was no need but this doesn't mean it's not something they appreciate. For instance, I've thanked my hall managers recently - maybe it was only a 'cheap card' - but the gesture and the thought behind it and the words I compose to go in it mean more, much more. And yes, I've thanked my GP surgery who have really put up with a lot from me and nurses when I've been in hospital (even if they insisted in putting needles in me and I wasn't very nice to them at the time )

 

It's not, to me, about just thanking anyone for what they do anyway. It's about showing gratitude to people who see individuals rather than a job and who do what they can, often in a small undramatic way that may go unnoticed, to make someones else's life just a little easier and more tolerable.

 

 

I'm anti-social, I get it from my kids....

[Nic m]

Mumble,

I really like the way you put your last sentence.

 

That is exactly how i feel, i always make a point of thanking the people who see my daughter as an individual, and the small acts they do that make a difference to us is always appreciated.

 

(completely unrelated i know), but a woman came into my shop on Saturday, and i had had a really bad morning and was feeling sorry for myself, she needed to buy a gift for her grandaughters christening the next day and she looked even more stressed than i felt.Anyway i got her present wrapped it while she told me how difficult her morning had been, and when she paid she realised she would not have to wrap her present, and she thanked me for doing it with teary eyes. It felt really good to know i had brightened her day, and it cheered me up too. As a childcare worker i loved receiving gifts from the children and parents, so yes it is a kind thing that really does touch others.

sorry fot going off topic a bit.

 

N x

[pearl]

We only ever did it for the ones who were helpful & we appreciated (most of them actually)

This is the first year we havent had to do it, cos JP is at work now!

 

Last year we bought chocs & wine for the ESW's, something for their boss cos he was great, nothing for the tutors cos they were rubbish, & an extra pressy for his main ESW - a little wooden mouse cos his house was overrun with them & he wouldnt kill them, kept trapping them humanely & letting them go! So whenever he looks at it he'll be reminded of JP.

 

S as a TA is inundated with chocolate at the mo. And she truly deserves it.

[MelowMeldrew]

We only ever did it for the ones who were helpful & we appreciated (most of them actually)

This is the first year we havent had to do it, cos JP is at work now!

 

Last year we bought chocs & wine for the ESW's, something for their boss cos he was great, nothing for the tutors cos they were rubbish, & an extra pressy for his main ESW - a little wooden mouse cos his house was overrun with them & he wouldnt kill them, kept trapping them humanely & letting them go! So whenever he looks at it he'll be reminded of JP.

 

S as a TA is inundated with chocolate at the mo. And she truly deserves it.

 

If someone can send me the cash to buy all these presents.....! where it counts, they know I appreciate them. I am in touch with my sons' school and support daily/weekly. The problem is if you buy a prezzie for one and forget another... social suicide ! MY son's support changes so often, I really do not know who will be there from one week to the next anyway. Over 3 years he was alloted 6 different social workers, he only ever met one, and once ! Another lasted 2 weeks and never met my son at all, the last one we had was last September, we didn't know she had finished. The school asks who it is, and I just tell them who knows ? I don't ! I have a new one again tomorrow popping in, we are taking bets she lasts the week. She e-mailed me and said "I only work 2 days a week...", and told me not to try contacting her any other day, apparently my local child support service cannot keep a social worker more than a month at most. When one finishes no-one feels obliged to tell us either, and each new social worker has to be educated on the issues all over again, they don't appear to keep records or anything. I wouldn't bother usually, but the school likes them or something ! No continuity of any kind, and this is a serious issue for us, because autistics demand that. So either they turn up or ship out, I have no time to mess about.

[pearl]

ESW = educational support worker. Sorry for any confusion MM. We have never even had a social worker, somehow we never qualified!

[noogsy]

i buy for my babes school teacher who was a darling this year,

i buy for my babes aspergers teacher he has her 8 hours a week,

and i buy for his classroom assistant who he has had for 5 years.

i usually go to tk max and find somthing for a �5.00

im very particular and this year got them small perfume bottles.

they look after my child very well so i make sure i get somthing nice.

actually both aspergers teacher and lsa have got two pressis a year from me.

cos i buy for them at christmas to.and get them a special card.

not that im obsesive or anything

i think they know im a looney.....lol

everything i buy for people must have a purpose

you know be usfull

im not a aspie....lol

noogsyxx

Edited August 4, 2008 by noogsy

[Kathryn]

I'm a teacher of adults of English as a foreign language, and at the end of a course they usually do a communal card. Each person writes a message in it in their very best English. That's really special and means more to me than any gift - (although sometimes they do get chocolates). The card remains long after the chocs have been eaten.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that a few sincerely grateful words from the heart are maybe worth more to a teacher than the most lavish gift.

 

K x