Fed up

[av16]

Over the last week I've had phone calls from 2 different parents about my boy (11-AS) to complain about what he's done. I know he's no angel but the first incident was about something at school; I checked with teacher & LSA who confirmed son had done nothing and the parent had assumed my son was responsible for it. Second incident was about something that happened at secondary school 'taster' day; parent this time said my son wasn't involved in what happened but his friend was when she rang on the day. Now the grandmother has said she's going to hit me if son upsets this child again. He says he didn't do anything but of course is upset at being shouted at today after school (when I wasn't there) by this grandmother.

It just seems he's convenient to blame things on - he's going on a residential trip tomorrow - with these 2 children - so I hope he keeps his cool. Both these children ring him and constantly msm him so he can't be that bad?

[Suze]

You have my sympathy, this must be very upsetting.I would have a word with school asap, as both these incidents have happened during their care, I would also mention what this grandparent has done.I don,t like it when parents take things into their own hands like this, if your child has had a problem with another child at school you should talk to the school and their teacher etc not phoning up parents and accussing their kids , I,d never dream of doing that.I,d be wanting to sort this out before the residential trip, best of luck suzex

[justamum]

Now the grandmother has said she's going to hit me if son upsets this child again. He says he didn't do anything but of course is upset at being shouted at today after school (when I wasn't there) by this grandmother.

 

Oh I would make a phone call to the police. Firstly she has threatened you but also she has abused your son.....both of which will not go down well with your community officer. Did she swear at your son? If so that an offence!

[Karen A]

<'> <'> <'> Sorry other parents are being less than helpful.I had the same feelings not long ago when I was informed that on two occasions in a couple of weeks parents had complained to the HT about Ben.It is especially sad when children are in year 5/6 and have been with children all the way through primary school.I feel at times like I have discovered that I do not know people as well as I thought. Karen.

[bikemad]

I agree with justamum if that was me id ring the cops n report it. <'>

[av16]

Thanks for your replies. I am going to speak to teacher tomorrow before they set off on trip. I hope he will be ok whilst away. What an example these NT? people are for our children!

AV

[Karen A]

Thanks for your replies. I am going to speak to teacher tomorrow before they set off on trip. I hope he will be ok whilst away. What an example these NT? people are for our children!

AV

 

<'> <'> Mmm I often wonder who has the bigger problem...the child or the parent. Karen.

[Emum]

Oh I would make a phone call to the police. Firstly she has threatened you but also she has abused your son.....both of which will not go down well with your community officer. Did she swear at your son? If so that an offence!

 

I'd think very carefully before doing that. We've recently had to report someone to the police because they chastised my (NT)son physically at a party (leaving cuts and bruises on him), and even though he's only 8 he had to give a formal statement to enable them to do anything about it. That was quite challenging for him, and quite an ordeal for us all to be honest. Unless you feel your child's confidence and social skills are up to this, and that he will not get unduly anxious, I'd tend to suggest that involving the police in these kinds of situations should be the last resort.

 

Having said that, if my son were ever injured by an adult again, I'd still report it. But for verbal abuse I'd weigh up the pros and cons very carefully

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I've been there and know how upsetting it is.

 

Firstly, no adult should be approaching and shouting at your son especially not in school grounds. Any incidents which happen in school should be dealt with by them and your son should be supported by staff in difficult situations which may arise.

 

Just because your son has AS, doesn't automatically make him responsible. It's important to look at the facts before passing judgement. I found my son got blamed for things and was shouted at by a 6 foot 2 bloke. Very calmly I told him on no uncertain terms that he should not approach my son and that he wasn't present at the alledged incident which took place however, my husand was and he should be big enough to approach him instead of a small child! I also sent a letter to the headteacher advising this happened on school grounds. Both were told that if there was a repeat performance I'd be phoning the police!

 

I did explain to parents when confronted that my son has AS and made it clear that whilst this did not excuse unacceptable behaviour, it at least provided an explanation and I asked that they showed tolerance once assured I'd deal with the situation.

 

Hold your head up - irrespective of whether your son is at fault or not (he's obviously being accused of incidents), these parents are more than likely unaware of the difficulties your son has and difficulties faced by you managing these behaviours.

 

Caroline

Edited July 16, 2008 by cmuir

[sesley]

Over the last week I've had phone calls from 2 different parents about my boy (11-AS) to complain about what he's done. I know he's no angel but the first incident was about something at school; I checked with teacher & LSA who confirmed son had done nothing and the parent had assumed my son was responsible for it. Second incident was about something that happened at secondary school 'taster' day; parent this time said my son wasn't involved in what happened but his friend was when she rang on the day. Now the grandmother has said she's going to hit me if son upsets this child again. He says he didn't do anything but of course is upset at being shouted at today after school (when I wasn't there) by this grandmother.

It just seems he's convenient to blame things on - he's going on a residential trip tomorrow - with these 2 children - so I hope he keeps his cool. Both these children ring him and constantly msm him so he can't be that bad?

 

 

how do these people get your phone number from and i think you need to contact the school about the harassement on you and your son, its not fair he is being picked on,in fact you can complain he is being bullied by other parents.

[av16]

Thanks again for your support - these parents are those my son has known since nursery (he's now in yr 6). He has visited one of these children several times and the other (girl) has pestered him by phone and on the Internet for over a year( think she had a bit of a crush on him, but of course he couldn't handle it). The parents know that he has 'issues' and I've explained to them both that some of the things he says aren't intended to hurt or upset. I think that he is a more obvious target to blame than some others and both of these parents could be a bit over protective. (If I'd complained to school every time one of my 2 NT girls were upset by someone I'd have had no time to work.)

 

Unfortunately both these 2 are going to the same secondary school as son .

 

So far no bad news about the res trip so hopefully he'll return tomorrow happy. I will be speaking to both schools as well just to let them know our point of view. (Son is so literal, he says what he sees- did you know you've got a big nose? etc. He genuinely doesn't mean to upset!)