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Parents under threat of enforced care order

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:unsure: ............think the link might send this thread way off track :whistle: Surely over feeding your kids is as bad as starving them, therefore abuse?.............looking at this from a very basic angle..........

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:unsure: ............think the link might send this thread way off track :whistle: Surely over feeding your kids is as bad as starving them, therefore abuse?.............looking at this from a very basic angle..........

 

Agree with you on this, Suze.

 

Bid :)

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Agree with you on this, Suze.

 

Bid :)

 

I agree with it as well. I have a daughter who constantly asks for food. She licks sucks chews everything and is always after the sensory seek. She would steal food even. It's been hard work, but it is important to me that she does not become over weight, have rotting teeth etc. I have a duty of care towards her. I had to change round the cupboards so she had no access to food, she has set meal times and set snack times. She is constantly watched to ensure she does not eat what she is not supposed to. We do sensory work to ensure she gets the feedback without "eating" she is not rewarded with food. She is perfect weight and height. So I agree, a child who is given too much is as bad as a child who is under fed. I saw a distrubing advert for a documentry the other day of a 13 yr old girl who is morbidly obese. How does this manage to happen? I find it very upsetting for the child. Sorry if that hyjacked the thread.

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I agree with it as well. I have a daughter who constantly asks for food. She licks sucks chews everything and is always after the sensory seek. She would steal food even. It's been hard work, but it is important to me that she does not become over weight, have rotting teeth etc. I have a duty of care towards her. I had to change round the cupboards so she had no access to food, she has set meal times and set snack times. She is constantly watched to ensure she does not eat what she is not supposed to. We do sensory work to ensure she gets the feedback without "eating" she is not rewarded with food. She is perfect weight and height. So I agree, a child who is given too much is as bad as a child who is under fed. I saw a distrubing advert for a documentry the other day of a 13 yr old girl who is morbidly obese. How does this manage to happen? I find it very upsetting for the child. Sorry if that hyjacked the thread.

 

 

Its surprising how many parents do use food as a reward, sweets, ice cream, some also actually withdraw food as a punishment, like right no supper or similair.

 

I do reward J with sweets, so I am guilty there, its a good bribe, and gets him to follow throw certain tasks that distress J, its getting a ballance though, J does have treats and rewards that are food type, we do keep a fine ballance though.

 

food for some releases hormones like dopamine, its very pleasurable to eat so it can become addictive, its not the food nessasarily but what hormones are been released.

 

JsMum

Edited by JsMum

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My worry for the children in the link would be how much exercise they were getting its o.k to to have fatty treats and sweets etc as long as its off set with lots of exercise ,outdoor play.My son has a pretty dire diet , he can,t really handle fruit or veg :tearful: , but I make sure he,s active and he goes for lots of bike rides.He,s on the chubby side and I monitor carefully what he eats, there does come a choice in the supermarket, buy the fatty sugary food or don,t, ............get the healthier option.

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:offtopic: alert!

 

This thread's already got enough twists and turns in it, methinks. The subject of children's eating habits isn't really relevant to the opening post and it's a subject that deserves its own thread. :)

 

K x

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The link is irrelevant directly to the original post but the point I was trying to make is that instead of helping they have been threatened with punishment. Yes over feeding is as bad as under feeding BUT should a child being over feed because of lack of knowledge, or the children themselves pigging out, be forced into a care home or the family given assistance? Which is then relevant to this thread.

 

Most here concentrated on the 'over eating' part not the heavy handed SS. Yes I agree obesity in children is a form of abuse but one born usually though ignorance and not malice.

 

Just to let you know they have 6, I believe, children. Mum and dad are obese but only 3 children are obese and as far as I could make out SS want all 6 in care. MSP's got on the case.

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This is the mother talking about her children...

 

"I don't even own a deep-fat fryer. All my food is home-cooked and the kids are not fed junk food at all. I feel we are being victimised. Children can carry a bit of puppy fat, but they tend to lose it as they get older. Ours are not being given that chance."

 

...who weigh...

 

the 12-year-old boy, who weighs 16 stone, and two of his sisters, aged 11 and three, who weigh 12st and 4st respectively.

 

:o:o:o

 

This is the attitude I find appalling: absolutely no acceptance of any parental responsibility! Arrgghhhhh!

 

Sorry K, I know that's a wee bit :offtopic::shame:

 

Bid :wallbash:

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Sorry K, I know that's a wee bit :offtopic::shame:

 

Bid :wallbash:

 

Okay - I'LL start a new topic on this (including the link to the original Scottish article) later.. if someone else wants to do it in the meantime (I've gotta go out), that'd be cool to! :thumbs:

 

thing is, see, this is an interesting and complex topic for all sorts of reasons, and people not interested in the original topic's subject matter could be missing it completely, which'd be a shame! :D

 

 

:D

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Hi.Sorry Kathryn I know I am acting :offtopic: but I think it is very important.

 

I read the article and it appears clear to me that very reasonable measured targets are being suggested by those providing support for this family.

Some evidence of a gradual slow weight reduction through healthy eating and some participation in chosen exercise.It is obvious on reading the article that any intervention by ss would be carried out only if the family fails to make the smallest move to instigate a more healthy lifestyle.

I do not think that is heavy handed at all.

I speak as a lady who is currently attempting to develop a more healthy lifestyle.I weigh 13 and a half stone and found out a couple of weeks ago that if I do not take action I will need to take medication because my blood pressure is that of the average 70 year old. I am 42.

I also have one son who is thin and tall and another who is also needing support to increase exercise and eat healthily.It is perfectly possible for some family members to be a healthy weight and others not.

I also think it is extremely important to note that I could find nothing in the article to suggest that there was any other underlying cause for obesity.

 

Where children have ASD or underlying reasons to unusual eating patterns it does make the situation more complicated.However as far as I can see from the article if anything the professionals involved are following what is recognised good practice in a case where children are obese.Karen.

Edited by Karen A

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I have double checked the article to make sure my information is accurate.

''Some improvement'' in weight over a three month period.

''Football'' and ''dance lessons'' for exercise.At the risk of sounding flippant here....unless SS are stating that the teenage lad goes to dance lessons it is hardly heavy handed. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: Karen.

Edited by Karen A

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Okay - I'LL start a new topic on this (including the link to the original Scottish article) later.. if someone else wants to do it in the meantime (I've gotta go out), that'd be cool to! :thumbs:

 

thing is, see, this is an interesting and complex topic for all sorts of reasons, and people not interested in the original topic's subject matter could be missing it completely, which'd be a shame! :D

 

 

:D

 

Would if I could but can't any more.....so will just continue here for now. :whistle::whistle::whistle::ph34r::devil::oops:

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I thought I would add a quote from the article which demonstrates why childhood obesity is an issue in Scotland.

The development highlights Scotland's childhood obesity crisis, which has already forced some as young as 13 to seek NHS weight-loss surgery. Only the United States has more overweight children, underlining fears that our current generation of youngsters may not outlive their parents

 

I worked as a nurse for many years before I was a mum.I worked in stroke rehabilitation for many years.

There is clear research evidence linking obesity with heart disease,stroke,diabetes and other seious medical conditions.

There is also clear evidence that obese children who do not recieve appropriate intervention will go on to become obese adults.

There is clear evidence of an increase in diabetes in children...previously the type of diabetes seen in elderly people.

 

I think it is great that professionals in Scotland are taking action to deal with what is a very important issue.Karen.

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quote]Most here concentrated on the 'over eating' part not the heavy handed SS. Yes I agree obesity in children is a form of abuse but one born usually though ignorance and not malice

 

I am sure others will correct me if I am wrong.

It is my understanding that in child protection the major issue of concern is the wellbeing of the child.

Therefore where parents fail to provide adequate care due to lack of knowledge or other factors such as mental health issues the action taken by Social Services should be based on the needs of the child.

In brief ommision through ignorance still amounts to neglect....whether malice was intended or not the outcome is still neglect.

Karen.

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Hi All.

I know I am it risk of ranting here.....but..

Hardly a day goes by on the Forum when there is not somone here in desperate need of support from SS,Camhs or education who rightly asks why no support is provided.

Here is a case of support being provided...and SS are then accused of being heavy handed.

Sounds like a no win situation to me.

Edited by Karen A

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Very difficult topic this one... While I agree in theory with the Suze's point that allowing your child to become clinically obese is as abusive as allowing them to be undernourished, the problematic bit is where 'enabling' starts and 'not being able to prevent' stops. From the article posted, it certainly appears that in this case the boundaries have been blurred - The fact that the mother would apply an expression like 'normal puppy fat' to her children suggests a 'skewed' perspective at the very least, and the declaration that they 'don't even own a chip pan' pretty worthless if (i.e.) there's a local chippy or even an oven available (oven chips might have less fat, but they're certainly not a healthy alternative to, say, mixed veg or even jacket/boiled spuds).

That said, a child who does not want to eat or who feels compelled to eat, is a difficult proposition, and I can understand that a 'care' environment, with lockable kitchen's and dedicated 1-1 staffing arrangements might be an easier environment in both scenarios.

Not suggesting that either applies in this scenario, but having worked with people with Prader Willi syndrome and with others who were anorexic, there are no simple solutions in situations where people are willfully seeking or avoiding food, and determined to achieve that goal regardless of any sanctions, pleas or incentives to help them.

What is important, in a situation like this one, is that the parents have demonstrated an absolute determination to help their child, and if that isn't the case, and the liklihood of them doing so seems unlikely, then an enforced care order would seem a reasonable solution given the over-riding consideration for the child's wellbeing.

Having said all of that about prader willi etc, I also know of at least one child where the actions of the parents could only be seen as 'collusion' or reinforcement - and while I have no doubt whatsoever that the sweets, cakes, crisps, chocolate etc they supplied were provided with the intention of making/keeping their children 'Happy', they were also making them very, very unhealthy.

 

:D

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It also has a lot to do with the chemistry of the child. In my home for instance, you couldn't have had too completely different situations. I was borderline annorexic my sister was very over weight. When I became stressed food or even the smell of food would make me feel sick, my daughter is much the same as me. But my sister if ever she became stressed she would comfort eat.

 

She would spend hours upon hours in the library or cooking, I was more outdoors, into many sports gymnastics tennis, netball, running, swimming, it was in my nature, my sister to complete opposite, I remember going to watch her play netball one afternoon, and she just didnt have the energy.

 

The doctors always said it was hormonal and she had a much slower metabolism than me. Our diets were the same, but she would just have to look at food and put on weight. But for me I was alway too skinny. Simply because I was so active, I did gymnastic 5 days a week, my trainer was an ex Olympian, I was driven by this. My sister had a completely different passion, and body chemistry.

 

She never sat around eat rubbish, but continued to pile on the weight because she preferred books etc.

 

My poor sister tried every diet and dietician, yet, it was always a huge problem. Going on a low GI diet was important. They say if you do have a weight problem like my sister you really should be following the same diet as a diabetic, in actual fact they say, it is the by far the healthiest option for everyone.

 

Fran x

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Hi Fran hope you don't mind me saying, but both you and your sister have issues with food, just totally different poles. If you sister comfort eats and does not exercise there is the cause of weight gain. In my family I am the large one, and one of my sisters is skinny. I am large (but lost 3st now) because of the same reasons as your sister. Turning to food for comfort and not exercising and there is the root cause of the low energy. I suffer from bulimia periodically. My sister is skinny because she is bulimic, severly. In our case the reasons for the problems we suffer is absolutely down to parenting. We were from the clean plate club, and soothed and rewarded by food, in addition my mother (I use the term loosely) emotionally abused us. Too fat, too thin, nothing was right. Ok so part of this issue may be caused by a certain"genetic" thing, but a lot of these problems ARE whether people admit it or not, much further deep rooted than genes. It is medical fact that the majority, I say majority but not all cases of eating disorders stem from childhood. When I had my children, and used to take them round to my mums, she would try to fill them up with junk. She had a suprise cuboard that the children were drawn towards all the time. Some people just feel that they are rewarding their children or treating them by allowing junk. They do not realise that causes big problems in the long term. We have no big issues with food with any of our children regarding what they will or wont eat. They all have healthy appetites likes and dislikes, but none of them have issues round food at all. I am sorry if this offends anyone, but it is simply my opinion, people say their child won't eat this and they won't eat that so they feed them junk because that's all they will eat, I wonder how many starving children have such issues with food? All my children are ASD, all of them have been faddy etc at some point, but it takes work, a lot of it. That is parenting for you!! Whether you have a child with ASD or not!!

Edited by darky

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Again we have a news story that implies that SS have steamed in, hellbent on stealing these kids (no doubt grassed up by evil b*stard teachers!).

 

From my experience, and from my understanding of SS procedures, this simply can't happen. We're not given this information, but the usual procedure would be for SS to have worked extensively with the family to support them before this threat of a care order. We are also not told how the parents reacted to this support and if they actively worked with SS, or if they simply continued to say they were being 'victimised'.

 

When my newborn and my toddler were the subjects of an ongoing risk assessment by SS I was glad, because at last the fact that we were a family in crisis was being taken seriously...and we finally got the specialist input my son/we as a family desperately needed.

 

Darky, I completely agree:

 

I am sorry if this offends anyone, but it is simply my opinion, people say their child won't eat this and they won't eat that so they feed them junk because that's all they will eat, I wonder how many starving children have such issues with food? All my children are ASD, all of them have been faddy etc at some point, but it takes work, a lot of it. That is parenting for you!! Whether you have a child with ASD or not!!

 

Bid :)

Edited by bid

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Is this an ASD issue? :unsure: This is going to be unpopular but this just seems like a thread to attack SS (and, as Bid puts it, those b*stard teachers!!). Should it not either be in :offtopic: or not here at all?

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Is this an ASD issue? :unsure: This is going to be unpopular but this just seems like a thread to attack SS (and, as Bid puts it, those b*stard teachers!!). Should it not either be in :offtopic: or not here at all?

 

Hi mumble/all - this topic arose as a 'spin off' from another. While this particular story isn't ASD related, the issues it covers are very relevant to the kind of food related issues that often arise around autism. The original topic it was lifted from in fact included the child's obesity as an issue, and I can think off the top of my head of at least a couple of over-eating threads that have arisen in the past, one of which directly involved Social Services.

Food issues aside, I think a thread discussing the role of Social Services/Teachers/Professional's generally is well worth keeping up and running too, even if views on the subject do seem very polarised...

 

BTW - your thoughts on the subject are certainly not unpopular with me, so no worries :) Personally, I think the original news story is, sadly, similar to others, in that it is edited to sensationalise. We have a mother saying 'this is what they said to me' and a poor old 'spokesman said' who, quite rightly, has no other option but to say 'we can't comment on individual cases'. The spin always suggests that the spokesman (who is behaving quite properly in accordance with personal data protection), has used the issue of client privacy as a form of concealment for their own action, when in fact it's a legal requirement imposed upon them...

 

:D

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Is this an ASD issue? :unsure: Should it not either be in :offtopic: or not here at all?

 

Mumble, I reckon many parents of ASD kids would agree that food issues feature high on the list of difficulties (obviously not all, but a fair few), which makes this a relevent topic :D

 

Flo' (whose son has major food issues :(

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I don't tend to get involved in heavy debates on the forum, but I've been thinking about what Darky said re starving children and food issues and I just can't get my head around it :unsure:

 

Are you saying Darky that if you starved a child on the spectrum for long enough they would eat anything put before them? I don't want to appear to be confrontational, but I just don't understand the logic I'm afraid :unsure:

 

Surely you could turn the example you used of starving children right on it's head and ask how many starving mothers in a third world country have bulimia or anorexia?

 

We all know parenting is hard work, especially so on this forum. We all try our best, and I know in our case, our DD's peadiatrician has told us that what is important is that our DD has food inside her. She doesn't recognise hunger, and yes, we've tried the "sit there and eat what the rest of us eat" approach, it failed, miserably, and she didn't eat, full stop. I could sit here and write a huge long response about all the different ideas and approaches we've tried.

 

I don't believe she's being faddy, as you describe it. Infact when I did make the mistake of believing she was just being a stubborn little so and so, I think I did her more harm than good, and on one occasion, I ended up force feeding her till she retched, of which now, I am thoroughly ashamed. She exhibits real, actual distress about many textures and flavours of food. We encourage healthier options, but that's as far as it goes. She's happy, healthy and within a normal weight range for her age..... and that's what is important to us.

Edited by Bagpuss

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I'm really sorry if I've upset you, Baggy >:D<<'>

 

I expressed my agreement with the end of Darky's post. I can't speak for her, but this is how I interpreted what she wrote and why I agreed with her...

 

I thought she was saying that obesity/eating disorders, etc, are only found in the 'developed' world because in the third world people are too busy scratching for enough food for basic survival, and I agree with this.

 

Parenting being hard work, especially over eating problems: I took her words to mean what you have said about your DD, really. That if you have a child with ASD who has difficulties with food you work through all the options, strategies, etc...that is good parenting >:D<<'>

 

I know it's probably an old fashioned and unpopular view, but I think there is a trend in parenting these days to give in to children (whether over food, discipline, anything) for a quiet life, rather than saying 'No' and then having to deal with the resultant tantrum. I'm guessing that's why there is such a market/audience for programmes like 'Super Nanny', etc.

 

Sorry again...FWIW, I think you and Darky are maybe sort of saying the same thing? But more apologies in case I've got that wrong!! :o:ph34r:

 

And sorry Darky if I'm all wrong about what you were saying, too! :(:ph34r:

 

Bid :unsure:

Edited by bid

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No I certainly would never advocate sit there and eat it mentality. That as far as I am concerned that could be abusive. It takes a lot of hard work and encouragement, and a relaxed attitude around food. I can't sit here and list all the things I have tried it would be very difficult to explain, but it is not impossible. The things I do work for us, and we don't have serious issues round food. My daughter does have certain sensory issues round food and there are certain things she has difficulty eating. So we try another way. Just because she may be limited round certain foods, it does not mean her diet needs to be restricted any more than normal likes and dislikes of any human being. I still maintain my opinion that is a great deal of eating disorders and problems round food, are created by food being plentiful and available on tap and lifestyle changes. It is a lot more complex than just being faddy. Even children with significant sensory issues round food, can be encouraged and helped to eat a varied balanced diet.

 

I will give some examples of what I do. My daughter has a problem with baby carrots. She does not like the stalk in the middle. So do I say she does not like carrots and give up? There are many ways of eating carrot other than boiled baby carrots. She will eat raw grated carrot, she will eat mashed swede and carrot without any fuss. It's more complex than that, but it gives you an idea of what I am talking about. I use my daughters curiosity to my advantage. I don't just put food on her plate and expect her to eat it. I get her interested in it. I prepare food and she asks questions about taste and textures. Once I get to a point where I know she is interested enough, I ask her if she wants to try it. Sometimes I ask her to tell ME what she is tasting and what it is like in her mouth. I take her to the shops, I teach her about food, she helps me weigh things, she asks questions and I explain it to her. Just some of the things I try. As you can see, I do not force anything on her. She has the choice.

 

If the therory is that there are some children who can only eat junk, or have limited diets, why is there ever therapy available. Food issues are no different to phobias really. There has to be something that has triggered it. The trick is to find out the reason. If a child won't eat certain foods, there is still no reason they cannot eat a balanced diet.

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We all know parenting is hard work, especially so on this forum. We all try our best, and I know in our case, our DD's peadiatrician has told us that what is important is that our DD has food inside her. She doesn't recognise hunger, and yes, we've tried the "sit there and eat what the rest of us eat" approach, it failed, miserably, and she didn't eat, full stop. I could sit here and write a huge long response about all the different ideas and approaches we've tried.

 

I don't believe she's being faddy, as you describe it. Infact when I did make the mistake of believing she was just being a stubborn little so and so, I think I did her more harm than good, and on one occasion, I ended up force feeding her till she retched, of which now, I am thoroughly ashamed. She exhibits real, actual distress about many textures and flavours of food. We encourage healthier options, but that's as far as it goes. She's happy, healthy and within a normal weight range for her age..... and that's what is important to us.

 

I was exactly like your daughter Baggy, I remember my mother wouldnt let me leave the table, until I ate a meal, and I would often just sit there for up to an hour while everyone else left. In the end she gave up. My daughter is the same, yet her health problems are another thing all together. But I agree, my daughter and I never had the urge for food. I still have to remind my daughter, and myself to eat. I am aware I am more like this if I am stressed.

 

As long as we are in the healthy weight range is important. However, if it is ongoing, I feel a doctor should be consulted. Bone density tests are the real proof which was my daughters problem. However, her health is nothing to do with not eating properly.

 

Fran xx

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Hi All.I know this is a very complex but interesting issue.

I watched a programme on TV a few weeks ago.I cannot remember the title but somone here may have seen it.I think one of the teenagers in the programme had ASD so somone may well remember. :)

Anyway the programme featured the work of one of the Specialist Psychologists at one of the London hospitals.The psychologist works with families where there are extreme issues around very limited food choice....such as just eating chocolate or just drinking milk from a bottle at age 3.

 

The approach was very different to what one might expect....and appeared to work.

Basically the psychologist starts by supporting the child in the limited food choices.

She works very hard with the family to reduce the levels of anxiety around meal times.

Any efforts to make changes are very very slow and any positive move towards change is encouraged.

The family are actively discouraged from responding in a negative way if food is refused.

I thought the approach was rather different from some.....but from the programme the results appeared very positive.

 

I hope somone remembers what the programme was called. :D Karen.

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No, you've not upset me Bid :)>:D<<'>

 

I don't agree that Darky and I are saying the same thing though.

 

I disagree that there is always a solution, and it's just a matter of finding it. I think for some children on the spectrum the sensory issues surrounding food are huge and complex, as with other sensory issues. I don't understand either about the "phobia" example Darky? :unsure: Are you saying that sensory sensitivities are phobia's? Do the adults on the forum who have huge difficulty with noise, touch, smell just have phobia's which can also be overcome with effort and hard work? :unsure: I'm confused.

 

 

We have worked in conjuction with our youngest DD's school to help address the sensory sensitivities she has regarding food for many years now. The school have worked tirelessly in so many ways to try and encourage our DD to try new foods even attempting to encourage her to lick something new. We've tried all of what you have spoken of Darky. None have worked, and that was the point I was trying to make. Sometimes the hard work and effort does not pay off.

 

Food is not used in our house as a reward. Sweeties are limited to one on a Saturday and one on a Sunday. Biscuits are limited to one/two in an evening with a glass of milk for supper. If the children want a snack they have a piece of fruit. Due to our youngest DD's dx of MD her weight is carefully monitored by the professionals who care for her. I think I have a sensible approach to food but I just do not like this assumption that because my youngest DD eats chicken nuggets and waffles each evening I am somehow irresponsible, and if I just worked a tad harder I'd find that magic solution.

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OK here's our experiences re. ASD & food.

 

JP was breastfed then doing well on mixed feeding, but around the time we started noticing something "different" about him (toddler stage) he developed an extremely limited diet. For 12-18 months he survived on buttered crackers, buttered bread, fig rolls, vitamin drops & milk.

 

The entire extended family was going frantic, but I resisted all attempts to make him eat "normally" - reason being, I was extremely faddy as a child & had traumatic memories of being made to sit in front of stone cold food for hours, my mum telling me to remember the starving children etc. etc. I was v underweight for my age & am still small. But that approach did no good at all & I didnt want history to repeat itself.

 

So I gave him as much as he would eat of what he would eat & relaxed. (I really mean that, I knew most of his nutritional requirements were covered & just hoped the phase would pass). And it did. One night we were all eating hotpot & I noticed him looking with interest at it. I offered him some of mine, & he finished off my meal! :thumbs: And we've never looked back. Now he will eat anything except greasy fast food, raw cheese & mayo (think he has probs processing fat).

 

He has an AS "friend" & its a v different story with him. His parents took laissez-faire to the extreme, food being one of the areas of neglect. He is clinically obese & survives on fast food. The last time mr p took them to the cinema, they had to go to a fast food place as that is all he will eat (JP put up with it but was not happy). They were astonished when he proceeded to buy 3 or 4 burgers, fries, shakes etc., several thousand calories worth. I find it really hard not to be judgmental about how he has been allowed to get into this state, but at the same time, with the food issues many of us have with our children, don't know if I'd be able to handle it any better than his mum has. After all, I've been lucky in that JP's preferences have been for healthy food.

Edited by pearl

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Now that does make me feel uncomfortable Pearl.

 

I would hope that if one of my children became obese I would seek medical help.

 

I was a very overweight child from the age of about 11 upwards.

 

Nothing was ever mentioned about my weight and I was never given any guidance.

 

I kind of feel that my weight issues now stem from way back then, and had my parents addressed the issue of my weight from the start, maybe I wouldn't of gone on to a lifetime of problems with it.

 

I wasn't raised on junk food though. Every meal was home cooked, but we had huge portions. Plates were cleared, and even now I have to watch my mum because she is so intent on over feeding us all.

 

She definately uses sweets as rewards too, especially with our youngest DD, to help ward off challenging behaviour. One night when she was babysitting, she fed our youngest DD an entire selection box.

 

I was absolutely furious.

 

She doesn't see the harm in it.

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OK, posting with fear and trembling here...

 

I do understand about having children with limited diets, as two of mine have severe food allergies but the youngest also went through a phase of really only wanting to eat pasta, bread and soya milk, and it's been a long slog to get him to eat a wider diet.

 

I have one question, though, about children who will only eat less healthy food: who gave it to them in the first place? Do you see what I mean: if a child will only eat jam sandwiches or chips or chocolate, the parents must have given them to him in the first place and then continued to do so.

 

'Scuse me, Darky...but I think that's my seat in the stocks! :ph34r::lol:

 

Bid :ph34r:

Edited by bid

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As with all these things on forums, someone always takes what someone says as a generalisation and somehow takes it that I am directly speaking to an individual. :wacko: If you read what I write, I have not said "all" I have said most or majority. My opinion is that. I have not personally insulted any one. I just have my views. I have not assumed or accused anyone one of anything. My point is, even children with sensory issues can have a balanced diet and be healthy. There is, in the majority of cases a solution. As regarding phobias, I said it is not unlike a phobia. Not that is IS, although in some cases there is phobia. My point is also, that as Bid put it, where there are people starving and there is little food, are there still picky eaters? When I said that I DID NOT MEAN YOUR CHILD :rolleyes: When I wrote this, you had not even respeonded. I don't necassary mean JUST ASD. The story above is not about a child with ASD. That is my opinion, you are entitled to yours. Please respect my views as I respect yours.

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OK, posting with fear and trembling here...

 

I do understand about having children with limited diets, as two of mine have severe food allergies but the youngest also went through a phase of really only wanting to eat pasta, bread and soya milk, and it's been a long slog to get him to eat a wider diet.

 

I have one question, though, about children who will only eat less healthy food: who gave it to them in the first place? Do you see what I mean: if a child will only eat jam sandwiches or chips or chocolate, the parents must have given them to him in the first place and then continued to do so.

 

'Scuse me, Darky...but I think that's my seat in the stocks! :ph34r::lol:

 

Bid :ph34r:

 

I gave her them.

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As with all these things on forums, someone always takes what someone says as a generalisation and somehow takes it that I am directly speaking to an individual. :wacko: If you read what I write, I have not said "all" I have said most or majority. My opinion is that. I have not personally insulted any one. I just have my views. I have not assumed or accused anyone one of anything. My point is, even children with sensory issues can have a balanced diet and be healthy. There is, in the majority of cases a solution. As regarding phobias, I said it is not unlike a phobia. Not that is IS, although in some cases there is phobia. My point is also, that as Bid put it, where there are people starving and there is little food, are there still picky eaters? When I said that I DID NOT MEAN YOUR CHILD :rolleyes: When I wrote this, you had not even respeonded. I don't necassary mean JUST ASD. The story above is not about a child with ASD. That is my opinion, you are entitled to yours. Please respect my views as I respect yours.

 

 

I didn't say you meant my child. I was responding with my opinion and experiences, as you were with yours.

 

Because I disagree with your opinion does not mean I do not respect it.

 

I also did not make any reference to being insulted.

Edited by Bagpuss

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Now that does make me feel uncomfortable Pearl.

 

I would hope that if one of my children became obese I would seek medical help.

 

I was a very overweight child from the age of about 11 upwards.

 

Nothing was ever mentioned about my weight and I was never given any guidance.

 

I kind of feel that my weight issues now stem from way back then, and had my parents addressed the issue of my weight from the start, maybe I wouldn't of gone on to a lifetime of problems with it.

 

I wasn't raised on junk food though. Every meal was home cooked, but we had huge portions. Plates were cleared, and even now I have to watch my mum because she is so intent on over feeding us all.

 

She definately uses sweets as rewards too, especially with our youngest DD, to help ward off challenging behaviour. One night when she was babysitting, she fed our youngest DD an entire selection box.

 

I was absolutely furious.

 

She doesn't see the harm in it.

 

I'm inclined to agree Baggy, just that I faced different problems to the other mum & didn't want to criticise. She is a really caring parent but seems blind to these issues.

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Food is not used in our house as a reward. Sweeties are limited to one on a Saturday and one on a Sunday. Biscuits are limited to one/two in an evening with a glass of milk for supper. If the children want a snack they have a piece of fruit. Due to our youngest DD's dx of MD her weight is carefully monitored by the professionals who care for her. I think I have a sensible approach to food but I just do not like this assumption that because my youngest DD eats chicken nuggets and waffles each evening I am somehow irresponsible, and if I just worked a tad harder I'd find that magic solution.

 

Baggy, that doesn't sound like you give your DD

jam sandwiches or chips or chocolate
exclusively.

 

And now you do sound as though I have really upset you :( :(

 

Sorry >:D<<'> :(

 

Bid :(

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"I think I have a sensible approach to food but I just do not like this assumption that because my youngest DD eats chicken nuggets and waffles each evening I am somehow irresponsible, and if I just worked a tad harder I'd find that magic solution"

 

I am sorry Bagpuss, I read the above to mean you felt insulted by my "assumption" I had also stated my opnion without picking out anyone's name and posts. Appologies if I got this wrong.

 

Back in the stocks I go :ph34r:

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I gave her them.

 

I wasn't talking about you, Baggy :(>:D<<'>

 

I meant the children I have read about who will literally only eat jam sandwiches or chips or chocolate, etc.

 

Bid :(

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i think the parenting ,food thing is a intresting topic.i have two kids with food issues in that they dont eat enough and i constantly struggle to get them to eat enough i worry and fret.i was diagnosed last year type 2 so i have to be on a carb free diet so my insulin works better im not obese im just unlucky in that i have the type 2 gene my granny had diabetes and a young woman.my hubby is also on a special diet..i have had to take everyone in our homes diet and individually sort us out.and it takes brain power and is tricky but not impossible....these people can be taught to feed there kids appropriately and with support will do so..the most important thing is excercise...some people just dont get that letting our kids become obese is not only poor parenting it is also child abuse.the ss understand that these kids will be having a awful time from there peers because of there size..and it is the parents responibility to sort it out..everything is available from the health visitor and gp...love noogsy

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