shellw Report post Posted July 18, 2008 Wow - at last, I have found somewhere where people understand the daily heartache and work that comes with having one or more children with ASD. I have already found so much info, advice and guidance here and I hope that later I will feel less emotional and able to tell my story - but thankyou ALL! Shell x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loobylou2 Report post Posted July 18, 2008 Hi Shell, welcome to the forum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted July 18, 2008 Hiya Shell Welcome to the forum.... Glad you found us. Flora Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ASue67 Report post Posted July 18, 2008 Hello <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted July 18, 2008 Hi Shell Welcome to the Forum. Karen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted July 18, 2008 Welcome Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted July 18, 2008 Welcome, Shell. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NickyB Report post Posted July 18, 2008 Welcome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted July 18, 2008 Hi Shell - welcome aboard Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fallgyrl Report post Posted July 18, 2008 Hi and welcome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shellw Report post Posted July 18, 2008 Thankyou for welcoming me - this is just amazing, knowing that I my hubby and I are not the worst parents in the world and reading similar stories is like winning the lottery for me! Basically I have 2 boys age 9 and 5, Josh my 9 year old has been diagnosed with an ASD which is very similar to aspergers for 2 years and we have just heart breakingly come to terms with the fact that our little one has it as well after trying, unsucsefully to deal with his behavioural issues at school, making excuses like its because of Josh etc. Today was the end of that though, he was apparently fine and just suddenly stood and threw a chair across the room - no reason - no argument - he just 'wanted to see what happens',it was the same excuse he used when he picked up scissors and cut a little girls hand so I had to phone Joshs doctor who has offered to review him . The problem is both of my boys are exceptionally clever and beautiful but I just don't want them to have this thing - it feels so unfair and emotional - I am sure you all know how it feels - I am sat here writing this and crying but I just needed to tell someone. Sorry for rambling but sometimes it is all too much - Josh is also having intensive treatment for anxiety after my hubby nearly died when his bowel burst last year. Josh and Seb attend a mainstram school, Josh is 'no problem' in school but goes crazy as soon as e gets home and Seb is a problem at school but not bad at home. This is why we have resisted diagnosis for Seb - it is very confusing. Anyway - enough of my emotional ranting and I apologise to anyone who thinks I am crazy- I just needed to get it off my chest! Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NickyB Report post Posted July 18, 2008 The problem is both of my boys are exceptionally clever and beautiful but I just don't want them to have this thing - it feels so unfair and emotional - I am sure you all know how it feels - I am sat here writing this and crying but I just needed to tell someone. Sorry for rambling but sometimes it is all too much - Josh is also having intensive treatment for anxiety after my hubby nearly died when his bowel burst last year. Josh and Seb attend a mainstram school, Josh is 'no problem' in school but goes crazy as soon as e gets home and Seb is a problem at school but not bad at home. This is why we have resisted diagnosis for Seb - it is very confusing. Anyway - enough of my emotional ranting and I apologise to anyone who thinks I am crazy- I just needed to get it off my chest! Shell Shell It's a hard thing to come to terms with, but I've found it so helpful to have support from other parents - it's really important to know you're not alone and it's not your fault. I have 2 sons - eldest is NT. My youngest was diagnosed 18 months ago with ASD. They are both amazingly bright but I find it hard to see the younger one struggling socially and emotionally, and the oldest having to cope with his brother's issues (although he's brilliant and they love each other to bits <'> ). Youngest has some fairly severe behavior problems at school and home. Do you have good support from the school? - ours is great - they are so patient (with us as well as him). Anyway, hope you feel better for getting it off your chest Nicky <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shellw Report post Posted July 18, 2008 Shell It's a hard thing to come to terms with, but I've found it so helpful to have support from other parents - it's really important to know you're not alone and it's not your fault. I have 2 sons - eldest is NT. My youngest was diagnosed 18 months ago with ASD. They are both amazingly bright but I find it hard to see the younger one struggling socially and emotionally, and the oldest having to cope with his brother's issues (although he's brilliant and they love each other to bits <'> ). Youngest has some fairly severe behavior problems at school and home. Do you have good support from the school? - ours is great - they are so patient (with us as well as him). Anyway, hope you feel better for getting it off your chest Nicky <'> The short answer to the school question is no! They are desperate for me to get Seb diagnosed because of his behaviour but on the whole Josh is not a major problem at school so they don't bother. This actually came clear on his school report where his teacher wrote nothing about his ASD butput that he needs to learn social skills to avoid disagreements with other kids. I was really annoyed and asked him if he would suggest my niece who is deaf would do better when she learnt to listen and he agreed to amend the report, although his comments were - 'Josh has improved so much over the years he just acts like a normal child - a bit quiet and likes to stick to the same things but normal' I don't think they are prepared to acknowledge his ASD if they can help it an certainly do accept that the minute he gets home he goes into complete meltdown to get the stress of the day and holding it in out. I even had his doctor come in to school for a meeting and the head REFUSED to attend - problem is moving him would cause him more distress so it is a catch 22 situation. Also another family did remove their ASD kids when the SENCO said 'if you treat them normally they will act normal'. With Seb on the other hand they are DESPERATE for me to get a diagnosis so they can get him statemented, its awful isn't it! And my boys definately do not love each other - I have actually had to have a conservatory built to seperae them its so bad but I think my hubbys illness dosen't help, they oth want all the attention which used to be practical with 2 of us but now with just me it isn't - and Josh HATES toys, he has never played with one whilst Seb loves them and takes them everywhere. Shell x btw - what does NT stand for?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NickyB Report post Posted July 19, 2008 btw - what does NT stand for?? Sorry to hear that your school are not being very supportive . Many people on here have mentioned Parent Partnership as a good source of help with these issues. I don't have direct experience of them myself, but here's a link :Parent Partnership My ASD son doesn't really play with toys either, except cars, and he tends to trash his brother's things if we don't watch him. I find that it's really good to get out to a local park and let them both run - have you got anywhere near you? NT means 'Neuro-typical' - those who don't have an ASD (or 'normal', whatever that is ) Sending you lots of these <'> <'> <'> Nicky x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted July 19, 2008 <'> Sounds like you've a lot on your plate at the moment <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shellw Report post Posted July 19, 2008 Thankyou for your thoughts and kind, helpful comments especially Nicky, m <'> y husband and I really appreciate them-any help, support or just an attempt at that is really just so nice at the moment. Shellx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
girl interrupted Report post Posted July 19, 2008 hello love Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted July 20, 2008 Hi Shell and welcome, certainly know where your are coming from. Stay strong ~ <'> Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alanm Report post Posted July 29, 2008 Wow - at last, I have found somewhere where people understand the daily heartache and work that comes with having one or more children with ASD. Hi and welcome, yes I have found this board supportive too, as an adult with Asperger myself. Alan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
joybed Report post Posted July 29, 2008 Hi and welcome no one will think you are mad here just a Mum wanting the best for her children. MY oldest has ASd he is 12 my twins are NT so far but we do have a few behaviourak problems with the boy who is so hyperactive and loud all the time. At times he just deliberatley hurts him for no apparent reason hits them in the face, throws things at them he shows no remorse at all. At times i have worried about ASd with him but then he plays so imaginatively most of the time he is sportacus or a power ranger for instance and he isn,t copying as his sister is very girlie and wouldnmt dream of being either of those things and M as never done 1 imaginative thing in his life. i am told he is a normal 4 year old boy who is copying his brother they start school in september iam waiting to see what they make of him. His private day nursery have had no concerns at all about him. Everyone on here is so supportive so ask for all the help you need someone will have an answer to any problem. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nic m Report post Posted July 29, 2008 hi shell, welcome to the forum. N x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
