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gothschild

No way am I going to church!

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Hi,

Does anyones child have an issue with religion?

My J refuses to go into a church or take part in RE lessons at school because he feels that they are pointless as God does not exist. J does not believe in things he cant see and feels that God is the same as the tooth fairy, father christmas and ghosts!

I am not religious at all but I do accept that others are and I help out at our local church fayre and the Catholic school in which I work. J thinks that people who believe in God are stupid and openly says so.

My cousins daughter is getting married in August and we have been invited to the evening reception, this is good as he would not entertain the prospect of going to the ceremony. He says that he does not mind the party but there is no way he is going to the church, as its a complete waste of his time! :rolleyes:

I can see his point and I will not force him to do something against his will, but I have to try to help him to be more tolerant, as the time will come when we need to go to a Wedding or Christening.

 

gothschild x

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Both my children went to a Catholic school so they thought the priest and the Bishop was God. :) I was very involved teaching and giving communion and doing readings etc, my daughter used to sit there big eyed absorbing it all, one day after a reading see told me she was very proud of me when I sat beside her all of the age of 5 years old :lol: my son became an alter boy with a lot of help.

 

These days my son calls himself an atheist. Because of work commitments I had to transfer my kids to a Christian private school, this started a division.

 

Two years ago both my daughter and I converted to Pentecostal Christians. My daughter believed the Catholic church turned her off church between the age of 12 and 16 mainly because of the grumpy old priest.

 

Then she wanted to become a pastor. All kids go through a phase of loving or hating it. It depends on the parents commitment in the first instance, but kids have their own minds and beliefs and I never pushed my kids to remain Catholics. Its their life and their choice.

 

I became a Catholic at a very early age, but when I was 9 years old I asked Jesus to be my dad. I had a very strong connection to church because of my school and parents. I never lost that. Its a way of life for me, always has been.

 

Many others will have their views, but this is just the experiences for our family.

 

Love

Fran xx.

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My son attends (well attended at he's just left) a Catholic school and we are Catholic. However there is no way whatsoever we can get ds#1 in the door of a church. He thinks God is horrible because of various things (such as they prayed for sunshine for the school fair and it poured down!).

 

I really felt it this year because the rest of the class made their First Holy Communion and ds#1 didn't - he wanted to but said there was no way he was going to Church so it was a non starter. Our local priest wasn't much help and didn't really understand the condition - it was either the traditional preparation course or nothing.

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You could be describing Mike!!!!! He has a real attitude about anything religious and says it is pointless. Chris starts high school in Sept (C of E) and we have to go to a church service the day before he starts in Sept - help!!!! :whistle:

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My residential school was not affiliated with any particular religion, but forced religion on the kids.. The head teacher was a Protestant Christian and RE lessons focused on practicing Protestant Christianity rather than learning about religions. It was compulsory to attend church services on a Sunday and this was even written into the school prospectus. There were no facilities for kids of other religions. I don't think there was any way for parents to disapply kids from religious activities and parents were not informed about religious matters when their kids started.

 

Was this legal for a SEN school in the early 1990s? The maths teacher thought the school could be breaking the law.

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I went to a CoE school when I was younger and part of that was assemblies in the church. I got in real trouble with the people there though as I kept telling the other children that jesus didn't exist. :whistle: I haven't been to a church in years now (well not for services, to look at the architecture yes). I like to research different religions, their beliefs and rituals. I quite like the routine and ritual parts of them, it can be quite interesting.

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My lad is adament that there is no God as well and he wouldn't think twice about saying this at the top of his voice to anyone and everyone. His fav. word is 'stupid' and he wouldn' have a problem blatantly telling someone they're beliefs are stupid, no matter how sensitive the situation. We're not a church-going family, but I have tried to get him to see that he must respect people's beliefs but he won't have it, according to him, it isn't fact and so it is 'stupid'! :unsure:

 

~ Mel ~

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My ex-husband was exactly the same up until the age of 30 (and probably still is). We had to go to a wedding and he got drunk before-hand, and fidgeted and talked through the service, and made up rude words to the hymns, which he sung loudly. It was extremely embarrassing. I would have preferred he had put his foot down beforehand and declined the invitation.

 

Maybe a social story could help here. What is his favourite hobby? You could try to explain that some people don't enjoy this and think it is a pointless thing to do, but that everyone has different interests. A lot of people who have church weddings or christenings do not have any religious belief. They just pretend to because they want to do the traditional thing. Could your son understand this concept?

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My son has an issue but in that it is his biggest obsession going!!!!!!!! He goes to their drama club their bible club and their Sunday school n sometimes the evening bible classes and he prays all the time n tells me off if I do something god wouldn't like!!! I'm an atheist as is my other half!!!!

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Would you prefer England to be an officially Christian country with the Protestant CofE as the official state religion, or would you prefer England to be a secular country with the CofE disestablished and turned into an independent church?

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Hi

 

I'm a bit of a hypocrite really :huh:

 

I do not believe in God and have raised my children without a religion, they haven't been christened. I have been married twice, both times in a registry office, though I am quite happy to sit through a church wedding. When my children have been growing up and have asked about God, I have always told them that some people believe in one God, some people believe in many Gods, however I don't believe in God.

 

On the other hand, we always have pressie's at Christmas, eggs at Easter and as a kid I always had new clothes at Whitsuntide. Mind you, we also celebrated the Pagan festivities of dancing round the Maypole :rolleyes:

 

Son is too much into quantum physics to believe in God, I'm sure he would come up with a scientific theory to back his arguement.

Daughter would believe in God if she thought she would get something out of it (financially) lol.

I would rather leave the belief of God to the more spiritual people.

 

My mother thinks I am a heathen and will be damned!!

 

Sue

xx

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Would you prefer England to be an officially Christian country with the Protestant CofE as the official state religion, or would you prefer England to be a secular country with the CofE disestablished and turned into an independent church?

 

Puts on Mods hat!

 

 

:offtopic:

 

This is getting a bit away from how do you deal with a child that won't go into a church!

 

Simon

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Hi,

 

J did believe in God up until last November, he was christened when he was 8, by choice and he attended junior church.

This was why I began to help with the church fayres and I will still help out even though he doesn't go anymore, the congregation are elderly and they need the extra hands and I guess I enjoy it too!

 

There is a comment on his attitude towards religion on his school report and the support staff have noticed that there is a change in his mood, when he is in the classroom that is used for RE, even when its another lesson altogether.

 

I hope my younger sister opts for a non-church wedding when the time comes, because we will definately have a battle on our hands.

He is digging his heels in with this one!

 

gothschild x

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Hi - my sons gone completely the other way in terms of beliving in god - he has taken every RS lesson thus far as gospel (no pun intended!)

 

He is throughly convinced that god exists and can see everything, and that he'll know if he's naughty etc, he's equally convinced that peeps like burglars and 'bad people' go to hang out with the devil.

 

We've had some quite bizarre conversations in this house since they started doing RS at school, including a really mad one about the 10 commandments.

 

J...'Mum...what does adultory mean?

 

Mum ' ermmm..well it means when a man or a woman kiss someone thats not their husband/wife'

 

J....'''Oh...so have you done that then??!!

 

Mum...ermmm No J now got to sleep! :wub:

 

I'm not overtly religeous at all so have found J's current absolute belief quite strange to be honest - I don't particularly believe or disbelieve..but am happy for j just to make his own mind up as he goes along.

 

I think if you can/are able to explain that some people find a comfort in believing in a god, and that it's good to respect other peoples views it would be useful for the future - perhaps you could sway him to attend on that basis and just explain that sometimes we do things for others even if we don't fully agree with the religion side. >:D<<'>

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I was brought up a Catholic and went to Catholic schools.

 

I didn't/don't really believe in God. However I also don't disbelieve. I can't prove either way whether he/she/it exists - and neither can anyone else until they die - and possibly not even then.

 

I don't like organised religion especially Catholicism and can count on my two hands the number of times I've been to church in the last 10 or 11 years.

 

Until the age of about 13/14 we had to go to Church with our parents - and not wanting to cause arguments I just kept quiet. Waste of my time, but I'll just sit there and play games in my head - everyone else can get on with the God-bothering.

 

About 13/14 - we stopped having to go with our parents and me, my brother and our friend who had similarly devout Catholic parents used to pretend to go to Mass. One of us would nip in the church just as the service was starting to get a couple of the newsletters, and have a look at which priest was saying the Mass (those were vital things we'd be questioned on) - we'd then walk round to the chip shops, buy some chips to share, walk back eating them - and we'd get back to the church just around the time, Communion was done and we'd go home pretending we'd left mass after communion!

 

After doing this for a year or so, I got fed up with getting wet walking the streets - and just decided to go to the mass anyway. I didn't really pay any attention - just used it as a quiet time - I was about about 16/17 with a full time 6th form, a busy weekend job etc... it was good just to sit in quiet.

 

But then about 17/18 - I stopped going altogether.

 

Since then I've only been back for funerals, weddings, christenings.

 

I don't believe but for the big things I'll go and go through all the motions, going up, having the bread/wine - I mean really making a fuss of it just brings lots of questions/arguments/tension/stress I can't be dealing with.

 

That's my take on it.

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Hi - my sons gone completely the other way in terms of believing in god - he has taken every RS lesson thus far as gospel (no pun intended!)

 

He is throughly convinced that god exists and can see everything, and that he'll know if he's naughty etc, he's equally convinced that peeps like burglars and 'bad people' go to hang out with the devil.

 

We've had some quite bizarre conversations in this house since they started doing RS at school, including a really mad one about the 10 commandments.

 

J...'Mum...what does adultery mean?

 

Mum ' ermmm..well it means when a man or a woman kiss someone thats not their husband/wife'

 

J....'''Oh...so have you done that then??!!

 

Mum...ermmm No J now got to sleep! :wub:

 

I'm not overtly religious at all so have found J's current absolute belief quite strange to be honest - I don't particularly believe or disbelieve..but am happy for j just to make his own mind up as he goes along.

 

I think if you can/are able to explain that some people find a comfort in believing in a god, and that it's good to respect other peoples views it would be useful for the future - perhaps you could sway him to attend on that basis and just explain that sometimes we do things for others even if we don't fully agree with the religion side. >:D<<'>

 

O my god that sounds exactly like my lad-the convo's we have are really obscure-the other day he was telling me about Lots wife!!!??? He believes it 110% and noone can knock it or he goes mad!! He even told my sister who is a Jehovah witness that she worshiped a false god!!!!!! :blink: He is convinced god see's all and prays to him umpteen times a day...he told me off the other day cos id interrupted him-well to me he looked like he was just sat looking out of the window bless.

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Yes we have one or two issues! L came to church with us and did the whole Sunday school thing till she was about 12, then she opted out altogether. By that time we felt she could safely stay at home on her own, so she didn't have to come with us. She hasn't been to many services since, (she's now 19)although she's possibly the only atheist who sings in the church carol concert at Christmas, which she enjoys. She's welcomed by the others, but they don't put any pressure on her to go to church regularly, to their credit. She likes listening to choral music and visiting churches to look at the architecture, etc. At school she opted to do RE as she found the philosophical aspects of it interesting.

 

When you go to a wedding or christening you are demostrating your support for the people involved, regardless of what you believe, hopefully your son will realise this as he matures, and become more relaxed about such ceremonies. In the meantime I hope there aren't too many battles!

 

K x

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