cathyz Report post Posted August 25, 2008 (edited) My 17 year old son is wanting to stop going to college any more, hes already done 1yr of a 2yr course in 4 A levels, and he says hes going to get a job. So me and his dad have said that if hes working full time we expect him to pay board. He can't believe it , he thinks its really wrong of us and hes never heard of anyone else having to pay their parents! So hes stormed out the house saying he'd rather leave! We'd never got as far as saying how much. Do other parents ask for board or are we really old fashioned harsh parents? Edited August 25, 2008 by cathyz Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted August 25, 2008 (edited) Not at all, it's one of those training them for the real world steps. I know a number of people who have resident teens/20s who work, and pay board and lodging. The most efficient do it on a percentage basis, so one friend has 4 'children' all of whom pay different amounts. The fifth is on an apprenticeship and doesn't get charged. If he's choosing not to go back to college and complete a course but to get a job, then other circumstances may change too. It's not really about the money in most cases, it's about respect and appreciation and being part of the team as a family. I know that I would happily expect a contribution from either of mine if they were living at home and working, and I would also expect them to see it as fair and reasonable. Work with him on pricing up how much he'd have to pay if he did indeed leave; rent, utilities, food, laundry...at 17 he's probably never done it. It is a real shock. Good luck with the huffy temper tantrum! Edited August 25, 2008 by Bard Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted August 25, 2008 (edited) Absolutely!! My DS did exactly the same thing at 18 (and it was a special college, too! )...and we told him exactly the same thing too!! He now has a part-time supermarket job, but he still pays me housekeeping, which is a reasonable percentage of his wages. If kids want to be treated like adults they have to expect to behave like them, too, and that means paying their way in the world. Boho Edited August 25, 2008 by bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 25, 2008 If I had to go back and live at home (the fact that that comes below the "Living in a Cardboard Box" option is not important... ) I would expect to pay board/lodging (in fact I would feel uncomfortable if I didn't). It is generally said (although there are regional variations and it will be dependent of sources of income/what you earn) that you should expect to spend 33% of your wages on housing costs - so rent, utility bills, maintenance etc. I suspect that the way the economy is at the moment, many people spend more (and I know that in London rent alone is astronomical), but I would say that that would be one way of working out how much he should contribute. Otherwise you could go to an agency that deals with landlords/renting of rooms and see what is average in your area and base it on that. But yes, if he's chosen to opt out of education, he should be contributing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted August 25, 2008 Most definitely. My kids aren't of that age yet, but as soon as they have finished their education if they are still living with me they will be paying board! I remember leaving 6th form against my mum's advice and got a job in a hairdressers when I was 16. I earned �110 a month (about the same amount as people were getting on the dole in those days) and had to pay �40 of it to my mum. I only lasted about 6 months in the job and ended up going to college full time, at which point I was allowed to stop paying board but my pocket money wasn't re-instated so I had to do a series of weekend jobs for buying clothes etc. Flora Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted August 25, 2008 Hi I don't think you're being unfair at all. You're teaching him lifeskills as well as the value of things. Whilst it's good to get eg an expensive gift every now and again, if this was a a common occurrence, there would be a tendency to not appreciate things neaarly as much and perhaps it would become almost an expectation. Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted August 25, 2008 That seems completely fair and normal. Many parents choose to support adult children who remain in education, but as an adult member of the household, he should be making a contribution toward the housekeeping. Does he even know any adults who live with their parents well enough to have discussed their financial arrangements with them? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted August 25, 2008 defintitely should be paying even if its merely a token amount because hes not earning much. I remember my guardians did the same when i had a part time job earning about �30 a week so i had to pay them �10 a week plus as i was earning i had to buy my own clothes etc and didnt get pocketmoney any more. The only thing i did resent was on top of the keep i paid i was forced to save the rest of my wages and to allow myself only �5 a week which age 16-18 was seriously restrictive when i had a few school outings to go on. Luckily i didnt have any friends so the only stuff i had to buy was batterys for my shaver, a couple of car magazines a month and maybe a few sweets/lunch at work at weekends. I can see why they did it but it didnt allow me to make my own mistakes of being skint due to wasting money which i think is an important lesson for all teenagers to learn!!! instead i didnt have that financial freedom until i was 20 then preceeded to waste every penny i earnt for 2 years How much you would charge these days i dont know. I was staying with a friend recently and i was paying her �100 a week although that was because i didnt know how much to give her so i made sure i gave her too much as she kept telling me off for giving her too much. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enid Report post Posted August 25, 2008 When my son, aged 19 was working this summer after leaving college, he gave me �30, his job has now finished for the summer and he is looking for work, he gets �47 a week job seekers allowance and he will pay me �10 of that. I am actually really annoyed that he gets such a large amount of money for doing nothing! he will have �37 a week to spend on himself, I`m sure it wont encourage hime to get a job! I think you should have to do some kind of work to get it. Enid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted August 25, 2008 JSA is not really meant to work like it is with your son. If he wasnt living at home he would get housing benefit to help with rent, council tax benefit and his JSA to live on (dont know if he has dla). The jsa would have to pay all food and energy bills as well as shortfall in rent. certain people can get top ups etc. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGeek Report post Posted August 25, 2008 When I was working full time I used to pay my mum �40 a week (out of about �160). The rest was then wasted, I wish I was one of those clever people who saved money. Hey ho. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted August 25, 2008 I`m sure it wont encourage hime to get a job! I think you should have to do some kind of work to get it. Enid I think he will have to go to interviews every so often. I have to and provide proof im job hunting. If hes doing it properly he can easily spend 2-3 hours per job application and longer if he has a big cv. I know at my age i have to tailor cv to each application and then do specific cover letters which isnt a quick job Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted August 26, 2008 (edited) I paid 1/3 of my earnings(minimum) as soon as I was earning inc part time when at college, helped me a lot get ready for the real world. I paid for my own clothes, eating out, meals if I wasn't in when it was cooked, breakfast cereals etc etc. Edited August 26, 2008 by lil_me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
