baddad Report post Posted August 27, 2008 Hi all - OMG I was brushing my hair tonight (100 passes with the brush to keep it silky and shiny) and noticed MY VERY FIRST WRINKLE! It's only a teeny-tiny 'crows foot' and i probably wouldn't have noticed it at all had I not been laughing hysterically at the crazy antics of Bobby Davro (I've got all his DVD's!), but now I find myself on the horns of a dilema from all the conflicting advice that abounds... Should i 'tauten' or should I 'plump'? I really haven't a clue which way to go on this one! The 'science' behind both is very compelling, but the two seem diametrically opposed so they can't both be right, can they? I thought about trying both at the same time, but then had another think and thunk this: The only instance I can think of in nature where 'plumping' and 'tautening' happens at the same time is when you pour salt on a slug... well, it's not a very encouraging thought, is it? So what do you do, wrinkled ladies of the forum - do you 'plump' or do you 'tauten'... Oh - false alarm earlier... i thpught i found some cellulite on my thigh, but then realised ben had left the cheesegrater on the sofa and I'd been sitting on that! - phew! And for those of you wondering - no i haven't broken my midweek rule I've just had a few late nights and early starts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted August 27, 2008 So what do you do, wrinkled ladies of the forum - do you 'plump' or do you 'tauten'... Sorry chicken, as i have no wrinkles........... i couldn't possibly comment. No midweek rule broken you say.......... remember that dodgy ice cream of many moooooons ago......... ?? You've not just dug it outa the freezer have you?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted August 27, 2008 (edited) I couldn't possibly help, I'm afraid, as I have a dewy complexion free of wrinkles, and certainly not a hint of cellulite about my slender thighs and pert derriere! Boho (And the young lad who yesterday suggested my bum is large in a loud voice was clearly suffering from distorted perspective due to his lack of height! ) Edited August 27, 2008 by bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted August 27, 2008 (edited) Poor BD. This, gently applied to affected area, should help. It's a simple yet effective remedy and completely recyclable too. To quote Victoria Wood: "Laughter lines?? Nothing's that funny..." K x Edited August 27, 2008 by Kathryn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted August 27, 2008 OR, wear your hair in a jaunty high 'pony', thus leaving you looking permanently surprised but wrinkle-free! Boho Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted August 28, 2008 the potions and lotions are all a lie!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted August 28, 2008 After watching "super botox me " on channel 4 at the weekend I,d definitely go down the botox route, and if I might be so bold , a little plumping around the lip /mouth area will even the facial features out nicely ........and don,t forget a chap your age should be damn proud to still be able to run a brush through his hair, most men of your generation are combing over ..................hugs as always suzex Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted August 28, 2008 Go for a total makeover. Face transplant. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted August 28, 2008 (edited) it's taken me a while to control my convulsions (laughter) to be able to type. Can't offer advice from personal experience because as yet I haven't suffered the trauma of finding a wrinkle yet . Although my 'character' lines are a little more characterful but I don't put that down to age... I'm just a later developer Botox or resterline (spelled wrong) are the best treatements but would leave deep wrinkles in your bank balance and as such may CAUSE more lines due to stress and anxiety than they actually get rid of... and you have to have it done every 6 months I think bid's suggestion of a high 'pony' ( think Vicky Pollard) combined with a 'plumping' effect moisturiser would do it. Suze... baddad's hair is the kind that most girls wish they had (especially those of us with naturally curly hair who have to spend hours with the straighteners) Floz Edited August 28, 2008 by Flora Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted August 28, 2008 Accherly, I found a tip in 'Hollywood Babylon" from the 70's - hemorrhoid cream! Now i'm not suggesting for a minute that all these expensive lotions and potions are just repackaged pile ointment, but this is, apparently, what they used for years in hollywood to achieve the tautening effect around the eyes of aging stars, and, lets face it, if you tauten a wrinkle then the area surrounding said wrinkle will, by definition, be 'plumbed'. They sell 5 gallon tubs of 'botty-gel' dahn the local marhkitt for arahnd two quid, so I think I'll give it a go! Talking of botty-gel, though...the main ingredient of that is Shark Liver Oil. Now, I'm in no way disputing the medical benefits of SLO, but it does get you wondering about how they ever discovered those benefits I mean, was it an old sailor's cure (oooh, hello, old sailor!), or was some nutty professor type wandering a beach one day when they happened across a washed up hammerhead carcass and thought, "Hmmm, I know what I'm going to try with that" ? It's all very confusing... So, wrinkly ladeez of the forum and warren, what other strange ingredients have you found in your cosmetics, and what alternatives have you discovered offering the same benefits? Keep it clean, now... none of that Jackie Collin's style smut Final questions - get googlin - what is a 'jojoba oil' (and are there any witnesses), and why do they always list 'water' as 'aqua' in cosmetics if they're not trying to baffle us with science? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted August 28, 2008 I read somewhere that Kate Moss and similar types use pile ointment before photo shoots to get rid of any bags under their eyes.... it apparently contracts the blood vessels close to the skin (hence why it's good for piles ) and reduces swelling!!! vitamin E, C etc are added to many face creams so I once thought it was a good idea to snip open a capsule (the kind you're supposed to swallow) and put the contents straight onto my skin (some of the capsules have oil in them with the vitamins in high concentration). I can't remember if it had any effect or not but I was only about 22 at the time and any wrinkles in those days were a figurement of my imagination You know somehow I'm not sure I should be typing this.... I've got a feeling that the spirit of Jeremy Beadle (disguised as Bill Oddy ) is going to leap out any minute yelling 'you've been framed' Floz Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lorryw Report post Posted August 28, 2008 Avoid sunlight,wear dark glasses and lather your face in sun factor 30. Or is that for vampires...... love Loraine (wrinkly and proud) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathrynh Report post Posted August 28, 2008 Grow old gracefully and wear purple!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted August 28, 2008 Grow old gracefully ageing is unavoidable!!! get over it To be quite frank the only things worth doing is general looking after your skin with basic moisturising if you get dry skin. Nothing else really going to make you look younger over many years than just looking after yourself!! Im not a fan of plastic surgery either to be honest!!! Too many cases of people chopping themselves up to cover up psychologocal problems when they were perfectly attractive and pretty before surgery. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted August 28, 2008 Maybe someone's finally found that painting in your attic, Dorian BD!! Boho Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted August 28, 2008 I still get ID'd in shops so im not worried for a few years yet :devil: :devil: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted August 28, 2008 And did you know that cleaning your teeth only cleans one quarter of your mouth? Try chewing a bar of carbolic soap instead - not only will it clean ALL your mouth, but it'll cure any 'uncomfortable bloating' or constipation problems too... Wrinkkly laydeez of the forum - another thing you could try for uncomfortable bloating... have you tried farting like a carthorse? Don't attempt near naked flames or in front of the vicar but i'm sure it works and costs not a penny Frugal tip for unsightly greys - tweezers. If you have loads, try mixing gravy granules with your shampoo - beef for brunettes/chicken for blondes. If you're a ginga try tomato puree instead. What? Gok Wan? Poor chap! Can't you get prostetics for that now? Oh, I see... And he makes a living from stuff like this? Well I never! Well just once or twice... What? Oh, okay... Bye bye, everybody... bye bye... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pookie170 Report post Posted August 29, 2008 The simplest, easiest, cheapiest solution to dealing with wrinkles ever is this: Throw away every mirror in your house, and avert your eyes when you encounter one whilst out and about!!! What you can't see can't hurt you, and if that means you spend your days going around looking like Wurzel Gummidge then so be it. (No great change for me there, then!! ) .....Besides, if people are gawping at your bird's nest hair and such, they'll never notice the wrinkles, will they?? And think of the money you'll save on lipstick and.... mascara....and other makeuppy fripperies!! (Besides, you'd look younger without it, honest, Badders!! ) Actually, I once read an article where some 'expert' was extolling the virtues of some sort of exotic manure as a skin-replenishing product... (HOW do they 'replenish' exactly??? Your skin will do that perfickly well all by itself without any assisstance whatsoever! Prooooooove it!!!) And as for 'plumping'- you'd be as well looping tiny harnessess round a murder of bees and use them to do an all-over sting each morning!! Longer lasting than most creams and a dang sight cheaper too- once that collagen starts to flee the epidermis, there's bog all you can do...... What nonsense!! ......... ............. (And do I have a few dusty, keep-meaning-to-use-em-but-only-ever-remember-for-a-week-at-most tubs of lotions and potions in my bathroom?) ....... Weeerrrrlllllll, maybe just the odd one or two!...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted August 29, 2008 .....Besides, if people are gawping at your bird's nest hair and such, they'll never notice the wrinkles, will they?? And think of the money you'll save on lipstick and.... mascara....and other makeuppy fripperies!! Works for me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted August 29, 2008 Throw away every mirror in your house, and avert your eyes when you encounter one whilst out and about!!! Right - fetch the stake and mallet, boys... we got ourselves another one of them there VAMPIRES... Baddad Van-Helsing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted August 29, 2008 silver bullets much easier!!! then you can keep a distance!! like get a sniper rifle and do it a mile away!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted August 29, 2008 silver bullets much easier!!! then you can keep a distance!! like get a sniper rifle and do it a mile away!!! Know your monsters,warren! Vampires like silver, unless it's the wrong shape. It's werewolves and silver. A growing lad could get eaten if he gets it wrong, even with a rifle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted August 29, 2008 Hmmm.... were there lots of werewolves in the wild west? Then why did the lone ranger always use silver bullets? Yes, Warren, stake, mallets and garlic for vamps, silver bullets and wolfsbane for werewolves... Both have a disinclination for crosses, but only the catholic ones, I guess? Dunno what 'ghouls' are afraid of - you'd have to ask bard............ What? I just meant she seems well read on the subject, that's all... honest injun... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted August 29, 2008 mmmm ok i have to rethink this one......... .....Ive got it!!! I shall go back to the Navy and borrow a Vanguard Class SSBN!!! vampires and warewolfs cant get me underwater and i can wipe them out from the other side of the world!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted August 29, 2008 Dunno what 'ghouls' are afraid of - you'd have to ask bard............ What? I just meant she seems well read on the subject, that's all... honest injun... Fire and/or decapitation. Next! Did you think I spent my evenings creating intricate macrame pot hangers BD? I've always loved stories, legends and monsters, warren's approach is distressing the traditionalist in me. Like that episode of Buffy when she used a rocket launcher on a demon...not fair play. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted August 29, 2008 Here is a good solution to add to your daily facial skincare regime: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080828/tod-...at-7f81b96.html Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted August 31, 2008 Tally! Ohhh dear, i laughed so much when i read that link............. how odd............. and more's the point.............. however did they work that out????? ........ ................... .............. .............. ..................... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pookie170 Report post Posted September 1, 2008 Omigawd, :lol: Dearie me, I've strained my pelvic floor!!! I just read that and got an instant image of old grannies carefully and studiously applying it to their face!! Oh merciful heavens, how droll!! Heheheheheh!!! Smiley, do you REALLY want to know the answer to that one?? By the way, don't worry yourself about my undeadishness, BD, I'm an official Black Ribboner and shall stay that way! Y'know, I'm involved in running modern-day horror-murder-mystery events in Haltwhistle....AWe're off to one in a couple of weeks, and I shall have to wear a dress... (No, that is NOT the horror element!!!! ) This time, it's not our storyline, we're just crew members, but think lots of zombies, werewolves, vampires........it's a lark!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites