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hedders

anyones passive child coming home hyper

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My dd is coming home really hyper since starting school, i think its because she is holding in all her energy at school and probably being really quiet.

As soon as i pick her up she is screaming, shouting running everywhere goes on for hours.

I know in about 2 months when she has settled into school life again her change in mood will be very negative and i will have the opposite behaviour problems esp when the school work sets in.

BUT hey ho no-one will help as in school she is very polite and friendly.

THE PEAD said she would try and get her place on cahms in sept another lie havent heard from her she hasnt done anything for nearly 4 years since dd was referred and we wont never get a diagnosis - comes to terms with that now and rather help dd myself as i have no choice

Edited by hedders

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This is quite well documented in the text books that some children with ASD's will do this. Not having a kid myself im not sure what to advise other than maybe working towards a stress reduction strategy for her so she can "vent" say during breaks at school in a safe manner and safe place. Im sure some of the other parents will have some useful advice for you.

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My son, now 11, used to do this.

 

I think partly this is because of having tried so hard all day to behave in an unnatural manner, it overflows in the safe environment of home. Also because they are tired, and frustrated, as most of us are after a day's work. Again, it is not safe to release these pent up frustrations in the school environment. My son gets incredibly tired in the first few weeks of school. I was putting him to bed at 7pm for the first week.

 

Also, it is well documented that the change in routine, from school to home, can be really unsettling for ASD kids. If i can remember the name of a chap who has some really good practical advice (I went to his conference last year) i will post it. He recommended a routine aimed at enabling the kids to make the transition between home and school. Can be something like having the exact same snack in the same place and then a game or even a bath or something. Whatever works.

 

I've had to try lots of different things to manage the school/home transition, from having dinner ready, quiet lego time, etc. He is much better now. HE comes in and has a cuddle and a snack and then he will go off and play quietly and chill out. But if he is overtired he will still kick off. If i can see this coming i will find him something to do like watch John Barrowman (current interest) on youtube.

 

Maybe your child has a favourite dvd you could play each day after school for twenty mins or so.

 

Good luck anyway. It will get better. :)

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my r is like this what i do is get him to lie on the sofa we shut blinds and i put on some calm music i then let him chill there for a while and encourage him to tell me what the probs have been at school and try to help him with them its taken me a long time to get to this stage though hes 11 now only managed to do it in last year when he realised for himself that he needed to calm down after school agree with warren need opportunity to go to calm quiet place at school when stressed could you have word with teacher senco get them to adapt a small area of class for chill oUt space prehaps by using wall board cushions calm music with headphones so your child can use thissmall corner when senses are over loaded ,is there a nursery nurse or t a who could help get your child used to using such an area when thing get to much good luck let me know if i can offer any other advice take care S. A. M.

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Z is just like this. When she comes in from school it's like a war zone here. She is 12.

When she is like this there is no way she will sit and talk, we just have to wait til she starts to come back down before she will say anything about her day and then she doesn't say a lot about it.

She does like to be out doors after school I think being couped up in school all day is just too much and being allowed outside seems to help her a little

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Yes we have this with our DD (diagnosed Aspergers). She is 7. She goes to an after school club who have found her to be very hyper. She was dx recently as also having SID and the school have just ignored the recommendations as they don't experience any problems! We are awaiting a follow up from OT who were going to make contact with the after school club to give them some ideas as she is still very hyper when we pick her up. When we can we take her to the park on the way home to run off some energy. I wrap her up tightly which can help. I also massage her which is calming. Sometimes however what she really needs is to run and run. I have no answers but I can sympathise. I look at other mums with their quiet children and wish that mine wasnt such a whirlwind and could sit still.

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Yes we have this with my ds, nearly 7!

In fact I am so cross today as he missed school yesterday (chilling out with anxiety related probs). The teacher doesn't understand why he doesn't display signs of anxiety at school and yet comes home a very distressed/anxious/hyperactive child. I have tried to explain that this is really common, but feel like I'm hitting my head on a brick wall.

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Yes i feel its common pratice to be glared at from parents in my dds school, i noticed also other children are totally different from my dd in regards to behaviour.

Luckily her best friend doesnt take much notice then again she never known her any other way.

Thanks i will look into some calming stratagies.

 

DD was sent to her room last night hubby doesnt cope with her well, at the table for our tea we all talk about whats happened in the day when it was our dds turn she started getting anxious and kicking the table saying that i had to speak for her - which then lead to a meltdown so she was sent to her room.

Talked to her at bed time about it as she spent an hr crying saying she felt like the badest person in the world without any understanding why she was sent to her room

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When my lad was at primary he was quite the opposite. He was a perfect little lamb at home and all hell would break loose at school, with him running around and screaming and stamping on people and laughing hysterically, etc. I'll always remember them asking me how I restrained him at home and me staring at them blankly not having an answer as he was perfect at home. Now it's a different story really. He says he doesn't trust the people at school with his feelings and so he doesn't talk to them about how he's feeling. In lessons he is stroppy and shouty, but when he's in the unit he'll just sit passively and do a puzzle even though he's feeling miserable and lonely and bored inside and he won't express it to staff. Then, when he gets home, he's full of anger and aggression and cries and stomps, he can finally let out all the frustration and anger that he has inside in a safe place with someone he trusts. I'd prefer it if he could strike a happy medium and be able to ask for help calmly and tell people at school how he is feeling. Last week a teacher came out full of smiles and told me how Jay likes the new unit being small and quiet. When I got him home he sobbed for two hours about how lonely and bored he is. When I tell them that, though, they stare at me as if I'm talking about a different child. :wallbash::wacko::tearful:

 

~ Mel ~

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Hi,

 

My daughter was/is usually very very quiet in school but would erupt at home - although I couldn't say it was hyperactive it was more aggressive, with lots of screaming/crying/frustration and self-harming - she wouldn't speak to anyone and needed an hour or so peace and quiet left on her own doing her calm me down stuff - like reading, drawing, pc etc.

 

She's 15 now but is still basically the same - except I've had a 15yr learning curve of knowing what to do/say and not what to do/say.......(although I can still get it wrong!).

 

On the other hand I do think that most kids whether they're ASD or NT want some time out after being 'good' in school all day - my youngest who's 5 (NT) is like an extreme whirlwind through the house for at least 2-3 hours after coming home from school - everything is over exaggerated - jumping is almost violent - hugging is like she wants to hurt herself - and lots of very loud shouting and attention seeking......

 

Take care,

Jb

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Yup my ds does his utmost to be 'correct' at school but as soon as he is out he is like an uncoiled spring n goes wild. Saying that lately he has been playing up more at school too but in an odd way im glad cos now they can see the real him.

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my daughter started nursery school a couple of wks ago and she is exactly the same, she used to be so passive and still is at the nursery, but as soon as she comes home she is really hyper and always seems to be in a foul mood aswell

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i think they try so hard to behave as expected at school and often not given any oppotunity to chill out or get rid of their aggression that as soon as they are home where its familiar and feels" safe" that they feel able to get rid of their negative emotions they have been repressing all day not much fun for us though :wallbash:

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