and i thought it was all going so well.....

[jools]

G started secondary school on 2nd sept and is loving it.

he can't wait to get there

 

however (isn't there always a however?...lol) he has had 2 lunch time detentions. one for talking and the other for fighting over a chair. his side of story is that he was sat on it. girl wanted it. he wouldn't give it up. she pulled. he let go. it hit her. she then slapped him. both in detention.

 

i had a pre arranged meeting with the senco today. this is my first with her since he started. she is very approachable (which is a start) but dear oh dear!

 

2 reports were there for her to read to me. the first from his head of year who expressed her concern at his behaviour and said it was being monitored. but it didn't give any details.

 

2 page report from TA working with him for 7 hrs a week (not 10 as in statement??).

she sits away from G so as not to make a big deal of things. (whats that all about. he would never willingly ask for help)

she is shocked at his behaviour. he talks to others when he should be working (his attention is very poor if he is not engaged. TA support needs to be used to keep him on task)

his lack of attention is appalling (add aswell as asd!)

she gave an example of his cheeky behaviour.........

TA: 'would you like to come and look at this onion skin under the microscope?'

G: 'Naaaaah'

erm hellllooooooo! you asked him if he wanted to do it and he didn't. so he told you so. LOL

 

the whole report was negative. nothing positive to say. infact it read as though she can't stand him and he is the worst child she has ever had!

 

he also got a poor uniform stamp today because his tie was too wide. aaaaggghhhhhhh! he only learned to tie it 4 weeks ago (no mean feat i can tell you). he is trying his best!

 

i have spoken to him and asked his side. he admits he is talking but also says he is bored. when he is finished he has to sit and wait for everyone else and he is finding it nigh on impossible to do this.

 

i feel so deflated.

he is enjoying school but i think it might be for the wrong reasons! he isn't being challenged and therefore isn't really doing any work. socially he seems to be making 'friends' but i fear this isn't all its cracked up to be either. he is permantly covered in pen where he lets other kids draw on him and he seems to getting in with the wrong crowd already. he thinks its funny that his new friends don't work and always get detentions. i think he is almost waiting for his first after school detention so he can join the club!!

 

[chris54]

Hi jools

 

As I have said before on this site, has anyone told the TA what her job is.

It dose make you wonder what training they are getting.

Haven't got an answer to the "friends" thing, other than school should be keeping an eye on this.

 

Chris.

[Flora]

Jools,

 

Reading between the lines it sounds like you work hard with your son to help him achieve. You're not asking for special treatment and you've allowed the detentions to go ahead (even though at least one of them was unfair... the school tie one!).

 

Tbh, I think you need to stick the statement under their nose and wave it around... perhaps even clip 'em over the head with it! It's early days in the transition... surely all the kids are taking time to adjust and get used to a more disciplined arena, but particularly a young lad who, by the sounds of it, is trying his best to fit in. A little bit of understanding (on their part) would go a long way here.

 

Good luck.

 

Flora

[jools]

i asked today if the TA had even seen his statement and was told yes. i have asked that she be shown it again along with the notes i sent in. i've also offered to send in my notes (essay?) from the assessment process which detail more than everything!

 

senco suggested another meeting in 4 weeks.

 

the detentions, telling offs and tie problem have all been a problem with the same teacher who is the head of year 7. if she can't understand him then he is off to a bad start. he already dislikes her and refuses to go to her for anything

 

i am trying to be patient and he is supported at home but you have hit nail on the head. he is desperate to fit in and needs support. as for the tie, well what can i say. the way i feel tonight i could gladly wrap it around someones neck

 

i'm ringin the senco about it on monday to explain i don't intend to be doing his tie for him. for his own independance he needs to do it even if it isn't perfect. as you say...a bit of understanding would go a long way!

[bikemad]

O gawd you have massive hugs n sympathies off me, my ds's school is a nightmare atm so I know how you must feel. <'>

[julieann]

G started secondary school on 2nd sept and is loving it.

he can't wait to get there

 

Hi Jools,

 

It seems to me that the TA doesn't have any understanding of ASD's. Unfortunately it is not a job requirement of a TA. It is however a requirement of the school having employed the TA to see that he/she is given the required training in ASD in order to do their job effectively.

 

You don't ask a pupil with ASD if they want to do something which gives them the chance to say no.

You say Next you are going to look at the onion skin under the microscope.

 

"the whole report was negative. nothing positive to say. infact it read as though she can't stand him and he is the worst child she has ever had!"

 

From what you say it looks as if your son's TA has no understanding of why your son behaves the way he does. She obviously believes in "Naughty Child Syndrome" and isn't looking at why your son is behaving this way.

 

Regarding the tie incident - If a pupil is punished for something their developmental disability is causing ie: difficulties with fine motor skills. This is classed as disability discrimination and worth pointing out to your sons head of year.

 

I support two secondary pupils with ASD and my son 18 has A/S. Secondary school is a nightmare for pupils with ASD without the right support. I had to take my son out of school at the end of yr8 . He had a complete breakdown. A week after I had deregistered him the school rang me up and asked when he would be coming back as he had 10 detentions outstanding

 

Julieann

Edited September 20, 2008 by julieann

[jools]

oh and!!!!!! (can you tell i'm stewing over this)

 

in the TA report she made a comment that he was obviously used to getting his own way

 

excuse me!! i don't flippin think so but without clear boundaries he is no mind reader!

[jools]

i didn't get copies of th reports but they have been put in his school file.

am i entitled to ask for a copy?

 

(still stewing on it.....lol)

[julieann]

i didn't get copies of th reports but they have been put in his school file.

am i entitled to ask for a copy?

 

(still stewing on it.....lol)

Hi jools,

Yes you can ask for a copy of the reports. You can also ask for a copy of your sons whole school file. I asked for a copy of my sons after he had been taken out of school. You put the request in writing to the head and the school are allowed I think it's 10 days max to produce the copy.

 

With my son we discovered that the primary school had recommended that he wasn't put in anyones class from his primary school as he was a trouble maker. Which obviously meant that no one in his class was familiar to him

 

Julieann