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loulou

phoned foster carer

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How dare they!!! and why would FC have him back after what she said, bet they offered her large allowance, it all boils down to money, what if you didnt have your parents to fall back on, I would like to see them try to get him in the taxi and keep him in!!! As for locked doors, is that allowed? perhaps in a school where there are waking staff on duty, but what if there had been a fire? >:D<<'> >:D<<'> Enid

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Lou lou I really hope you start to get somewhere with MP I can believe the social worker is like this cos mine is pretty much the same. I suspect that FC was offerend more money and probably a huge amount of pressure put on her too by s/w.

 

Hugs to you hun and hugs for kai..hope things improve soon >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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O my god im disgusted by the ss...aswel as the mp you wanna go to the papers too show them for the waste of space they are.

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I dont get it, if the Fostercarer is refusing except Kia on health and saftey grounds then how can SW send him back, if the FC isnt having him then the SW cant exactly send him to someone who cant take him, so why isnt she listening, I know it sounds really bad that the FC locked him in his room but if she had to go to these lengths then its clear he needs a more securer placement.

 

The fostercarer has to stand up to the SW, it sounds like there really isnt anything else available and there using force to place him in a placement that isnt just unsuitable but it sounds like it is not even safe.

 

I am relieved to know your parents have decided to take care of him, though I understand you didnt want this either as they struggle too.

 

I really do hope that the MP can help get Kia what he really really needs.

 

JsMum

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For once words fail me - some one needs to kick ass here. How do these people sleep at night :tearful: Really really hope that your MP can wade into this one and make a difference.

 

>:D<<'> Cat

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Not sure what to reply here but just wanted to let you know we are still thinking of you. SS are completely useless, i know from work how long it takes them to get their backsides in gear to protect an unborn child. (I am a midwife). I can understand they are stressed and underresoursed (spelling sorry) but this is peoples lifes they are messing up here. You have been forced into going to your MP hope this helps.

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I'm not sure, but I think that is he is in the foster care system, that comes under Children's Services in the council rather than Social Services?

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I'm not sure, but I think that is he is in the foster care system, that comes under Children's Services in the council rather than Social Services?

 

You are correct because technically Social Services for children no longer exist in the same way that we no longer have Local Education Authorities. From April 2006 we lost LEA's and SS both were replaced with Children's Services. I know where I live the social workers who used to be part of SS are now part of Children's Services.

 

Confused you will be :wacko:

 

Cat

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My heart goes out to you hun!

What a complete waste of time SS are. And actually double how dare they to say they have to see if they can "allow" kai to be with his grandparents, i'd be telling THEM I am the only one who can say if it's allowed or not, don't think they have any right to say such a thing when they are more than failing him themselves.

I hope you can get him the resi placement you want, i am thinking of you. >:D<<'> >:D< >:D<<'>

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the foster carer has no say whatsoever beyond saying yes or no to having the child in the house (and they are givien very little detail before they accept the placement due to confidentiality). if they accept the child they are then employed under the terms of doing what social services, the courts and the childs guardian (not parent) think is best. if the foster carer feels they cannot follow this plan then they can question it but ultimately it has nothing to do with them.

 

because he is under voluntary care this is complicated, but if social services feel the child is not safe if he is withdrawn from social services then they CAN then take the child into care through the courts. this is why they are going to check on the grandparents.

 

foster carers also get paid next to nothing, and this is probably why the carer initially said they could not have him back. level 2 carers for example are paid �105 a week for 24/7 work so a child wrecking a house is a big issue.

 

yes foster carers are trained to deal with violent and abusive children, but that doesn't mean that they have to tolerate it. if you wouldn't want it in your own home, dont expect a foster carer to be overjoyed with it in their home!

 

that said i hope you get the placement you want for Kai because i certainly am well aware that the foster system is a nightmare and doesn't do anyone any favors. i know it is frustrating because it seems nothing is being done at the moment but behind the scenes the social worker will be working very hard to sort things out for your son. social workers hands are tied by the courts, budgets and sometimes by them being complete idiots(!) but they will be trying to do all they can because they also work for poor pay in a terrible job and generally do it for only one reason - they want the best for children.

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See now, this is what scared me when my son went to respite in January due to such violent and aggressive behaviour that the police were here nearly every night, I was soo soo SOO scared that SS would get a care order on him, it stops you asking for help until you are on your knees like poor Loulou is, You are so scared you may lose PR that you dont ask for help until things reach crisis point. Enid

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the way things are in the courts at the moment without direct abuse or neglect a child wont be taken into full care (and dare i say it, even then its a struggle for the social worker). and also remember that even if a child is in care there are different levels of care order and except in the case of a full care order children can, and do get returned to their parents once things have settled back down. for the lesser care orders parents retain some rights, and have a say in all aspects of the childs care - foster carers cant even clip a childs fingernails without parental consent. to get a full care order there has to be no chance of the child ever safely being returned to the parents, so thats not really aplicable to anyone who doesnt abuse their child.

 

i think a big fault of social services is that they seem to operate under a veil of secrecy so tends to get painted as an all or nothing bad guy. my household has seen children go back to loving parents and do wonderfully after getting support, and unfortunately we've also seen children go back to abusive parents and the children have to be taken into care again. the foster system is a one size fits all deal and there are children who come in starving with no clothes and there are children who need extra support and care, but have loving dedicated parents. my recommendations are stick with it, get a good lawyer and always look at the good as well as the bad.

 

the foster carer will almost certainly do what they think is best for the child and will tell the social worker exactly what they think the child needs. any good social worker (and theyre hard to identify) will then work to get the child as much of this as possible. if you really think that the social worker is bad complain above their head. if you get nowhere odds are they are good and you just dont agree with the methods. every bad social worker in the system is known as such on some level. you may find by sticking with it that you get a lot more people shouting for the same thing you want!

 

i know i'll get shot down here because i see things from the other side but sometimes its important to see past the immediate threat to consider the bigger picture.

 

oh and the police are fairly backwards when it comes to reporting things involving children, we had one case where the parent had been in prison 4 times and SS hadn't been informed even though this person was their sole carer!

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Hi everyone,

 

Kai came home yesterday to my house and my parents looked after him there. I took the little one to their house!

 

He's gone to Heathrow airport to look at planes with my Dad today. So far so good :pray: .

 

As for the SW, she actually phoned Kai's school yesterday and told them she'd arranged for the transport to collect him and take him back to the foster carer. This was AFTER i'd told her that i wouldn't allow it :o . I don't know what she was trying to do, but thankfully i'd already spoken to the school so they knew he was coming back here. If i hadn't, he'd have been put in the wrong taxi and taken back to the foster carer!

 

Nobbynobbs, I have worked with SWs for 14 years (i'm a midwife) and i know that alot of them are really good and only want what's best for the child, but unfortunately i've been landed with a very young and inexperienced one, who's supervisor is useless. I can't work her out at all. She's always really defensive on the phone and is rude to the school, the paeds and myself. I don't actually think she knows what to do in this situation, but she ignores what all the professionals are saying and has her own agenda. It's just so frustrating, as all i want is for my child to be happy and to keep my other children safe.

 

I'm going to contact our SEN officer monday morning, to see how we can speed up the transfer to residential school, as i think this is the only option now.

 

Take care,

 

Loulou xxx

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I have to admit when things where REALLY bad with Nathan I thought the SW was a complete [insert word of choice]

We had a case conferance at his hospital school; CAHMS, Rep from ed authority, school, ed psyc, Nathans SWAsssistant (lovely woman did all she could to fight his corner) and a SW acting for Social services.

It was a huge meeting that took months to organise.

 

Half way through the meeting there came sounds of a child exploding, furniture thrown, screams, yells from members of staff, fleeing children running down the stairs. I looked at Rich and he looked at me and went 'Nathan' at just the same time Nathans Teacher came in asking for back up from the head as she was trained to deal with extreme behaviours.

It took her an hour to defuse the boy and arrange a trip to A&E for the teacher Natahn had kicked down the stairs. All through the * meeting all we could here was our son being himself as hard as he knew how and a social worker who was having a very hard time explaining that Natahn did not meet the criteria for social services support to other agencies.

 

Freakin social services finally said his needs were 'complex' and that we should have one weeks respite every four weeks and the (!) used THAT as a reason to not pay their part of the residential school CAHMS, Education and his special school recommended. Nathan did not go to the school. SS could not find anyone to take Nathan including their special childrens homes; something about him being rather large and liable to be a risk to staff and other children. Nathan ended up being taken in by CAHMS at the regional unit as soon as his psychiatrist could get him a bed in a room on his own. I think for Nathan that was the best thing that could have happened at that point for all of us.

 

 

I kept the letter from the director of said social services appologising for the complete cena cannis that was made of it all.

His school and CAHMS faught long and hard and went through LSC with CAHMS funding to get his current special college placement. CAHMS were fantastic giving of their limited resources, we used grandparent back up too. Thank God for grandparents who help.

 

It is horrible watching one of the statutory support services mess things up.

 

LouLou, your his mom you love him to bits even if there are days you wish you could hand him over. I know that comes from pure exhuastion, concern for your other kids and being at the end of your teather.

 

It sounds as if he has a good school. Is there anything the head could suggest that might help? If Kai has input form CAHMS contact them too.

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Thinking of you, what would have happened without your parents! It seems like the FC was going to give it another go. Hope some good comes of all this. >:D<<'> >:D<<'> Enid

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I am so sorry to hear this, thinking of you and your family and hoping that the approriate help with come.

 

>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

Clare x x x

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>:D<<'> hope the week end goes ok LouLou,

 

I will be thinking about you,

 

I have no words because What I would say I would get banned from the forum, but as difficult as the situation is your dealing with it very well and you seem positive and you know what you do and dont want.

 

I totally understand why you have come to the decisions you have, you have little choice at the end of the day, but it is all very wrong because more support, services, specialist should be helping you and especially KIA.

 

I Feel terrible reading throw your posts because I wish I could help you more in person, all I can do is give you hugs and let you know loads of us here really really care about you, Kia and the rest of your family.

 

Remember were here if you need us.

 

>:D<<'>

 

JsMum

Edited by JsMum

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