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lisa35

so lonely

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so isolated, we dont see any "adults" to socialise, at the moment all our time is spent fighting with the LEA, and feel like we re just about keeping our heads above water

feel like Im drowning in "autism", dont get me wrong I love my son so much, but we eat, breath and sleep it,

friends dont really understand, hubby and I havent been out since July, in fact I bet we manage 3-4 nights a year, he is 13!

at mo too, even with a baby sitter , its so disruptive for our son, it makes life a lot harder, this is due to all the stresses of school and whats going on

H e goes to Scouts, so wegeta few hours a week, but he never on and off cant cope with that, again because of his anxiety

In fact, we dont have any friends!

Just feeling sorry for myself xx

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so isolated, we dont see any "adults" to socialise, at the moment all our time is spent fighting with the LEA, and feel like we re just about keeping our heads above water

feel like Im drowning in "autism", dont get me wrong I love my son so much, but we eat, breath and sleep it,

friends dont really understand, hubby and I havent been out since July, in fact I bet we manage 3-4 nights a year, he is 13!

at mo too, even with a baby sitter , its so disruptive for our son, it makes life a lot harder, this is due to all the stresses of school and whats going on

H e goes to Scouts, so wegeta few hours a week, but he never on and off cant cope with that, again because of his anxiety

In fact, we dont have any friends!

Just feeling sorry for myself xx

 

Hey you need to feel bad! Its hard, really hard! We shouldnt feel guilty for wanting a slice of life for ourselves, I get really low sometimes I turned runed to the doctor the other day and told her Im sinking this is it were having the fianl meltdown that going to finnish me and my hubby off, we just cannot cope, but do know what this week has been fine and IO feel completley the opposite I feel really upbeat, and next week I might have a bad week again....It eefects everyone and its really hard becayse you love your kids but hey no one asks for this. Hope you feel really better soon, mush love and sympathy to you, put them to bed rent a dvd buy some terrys all gold and have an early night ( to go to sleep) tell yourself tomorrow will be a new day!

Love Loubee thinking of you x x x

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Hi, lisa

 

Yep, I know exactly what you mean. I ended up at the GP a couple of weeks ago with stress related problems. DS2 was having big problems at school and I felt like I was being overwhelmed by the whole Autism thing. I sometimes yearn for a bit of time for me, my hubby and DS1.

 

We decided, last weekend, that we would have some family time and not think or talk about Autism, and it was such a relief. We went for walks and played frisbee and football, and it was lovely.

 

Things have settled down at school now and we are much less stressed - I know it won't last but I've decided to live for the moment and enjoy it :thumbs:

 

Things can and do get better - try and find some time for yourself

 

Take care >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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Take heart lisa >:D<<'>

We once went 2 years without a night out when JP was little.

Now he's 19, we've just had our 3rd weekend away, just the two of us, leaving him at home alone :thumbs:

He loves it too :thumbs:

 

I'm still overwhelmed with stress, but hey, its hardly autism related at all these days! :lol:

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Aw Lisa Hun, can totally empathise, all this fighting makes ya feel like you are totally consumed in Autism, with no time left for "life". Think my husband and I have only been out twice so far this year and rarely have time for one another and then that time is usually spent on talking about the latest battle or what to do next.

 

Since diagnosis we have found we have lost friends (but wonder now whether they were actually friends) and some family members who struggle to understand our son's behaviours and needs, now rarely invite us over. But those who have stuck by us have been brilliant. Plus I have made many friends on this forum who have been there for me and have been so supportive.

 

By the way, I think its OK to feel sorry for yourself, I do frequently, have a good wallow then I tend to snap out of it and carry back on until the next time, don't feel guilty about it.

 

Like Loubee says try to find a little time for yourselves of an evening and spoil yourselves with some nice tasty treats and snuggle up infront of the telly.

 

>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

Clare x x x x

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we feel exactly the same all my time and effort is sorting out things for reece or coping with reeces continuous meltdowns me and sean havnt been out in over 5 yrs on r own!!!!

its a total drain on the family u r def not alone on this one

lots of love donnaxxxx hope things get better soonxxxxx

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Another here hun know exactly how you feel...cant remember the last time me n the other half went anywhere together got to be in the realms of a few years...and we are always drained n exhausted n stressed. Friends well ive got none and no life lol my life is running to all my ds's appointments n theres usually one a week what with ent, o/t, cahms, etc etc. >:D<<'>

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Another one here who's now trying to rebuild a life after (and still counting) 13 years of caring. But my DS (NT) is now 17! Nights out are beckoning! Hang on in there.

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Hi

 

"Nights out" :crying::crying: . A long distant memory. I think I could count on one hand the number of "NIGHTS OUT" on our own we have had in the last 8 years.

 

From a few months old he would just scream continuously if left with anyone but us. Our work would mean that we would on occasions both be out at the same time and my sister would baby sit but we would get back asap as we new she would be worn out looking after him.

 

And then when my stepdaughter got old enough we would leave them playing and sneak out of the house with out him realizing, and hopefully get back with him no the wiser. But she has moved away now so..

 

Like most of you, the only time I get off is when he is at school and I'm working. (my wife, him mother, has a mild disability so I am his main carer).

 

Yep, Nights out, I look forward to them one day, maybe at the Darby and Jones club.

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Hi lisa35 >:D<<'> >:D<<'> Unfortunately, I also know how you're feeling. I haven't a friend in the world and I spend all day alone without speaking to a single soul until it's time to get Jay from school. I only have DH to talk to.

 

When your lad is at Scouts, how about you and your hubby going to a nearby pub and having a meal together? It's something you could look forward to each week. Jay now goes to an AS youth group and every Friday we rush around like crazy, DH rushes back from work, into the shower, I get Jay his tea early and we whiz off up to the group and then me and DH get two hours in the pub having a nice meal together. It isn't much, and it's the first time we've been out regularly together for nearly 15 years, in fact, I've been out with DH more in the last few months than I have in all the last 15 years put together I think! It's something for us now though and it's a nice routine we've got into. In fact, the Friday just gone we were really disappointed, 'cos after all the rushing about and fighting with traffic to get back into town for the group, we got there and Jay wouldn't get out of the car, said he had a headache. Me and DH were so hungry, 'cos it was late by then and we were soooooooooooooo crushed as we'd looked forward to it all week, we had to drive back home and have a ready meal, so it doesn't always work out, but at least if you and your DH had that to look forward to once a week, get out of the house together and into a different setting, even if you only managed it a few times a month it would be something to look forward to. >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

~ Mel ~

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Hi Lisa

 

I too know how that feels. It is just awful. Try not to feel guilty about needing some down time.

We went four or five years with out a night out and have lost many friends because they could not understand. The friends we have now accept us and our kids for who we and they are.

 

Please accept these hugs >:D<<'> >:D< >:D<<'> >:D< >:D<<'> >:D< >:D<<'> they are sent with love and an understanding that only those of us on this site truly have for what it is like for you now.

 

If I could come and babysit for you I would.

 

Sometimes it is hard to see how far we have come as everything we do takes small steps and it can take a long time to just do one. Hang on on there it will get better.

 

Diane

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When my son was young I belonged to a local support group for children with additional needs and their sibs, not just autism.

 

I found this a real lifeline. I was on the committee for a few years, and saw a couple of other mums for years even after DS was too old to go to the playscheme.

 

Have you guys tried any local groups? Or volunteering for something else...it gives you something else to think about and makes you feel as though you are making a contribution.

 

Bid :)

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