do you complain enough?

[hev]

i wish i was one of those people who complained about things,cahms were cr"p,social services were cr@p so i have no dealings with them now but i didnt complain,if im unhappy with service in a shop i dont complain then i think about it for ages and fume cos i wish i had

i wish i complained but i never do so nothing changes

[NickyB]

i wish i was one of those people who complained about things,cahms were cr"p,social services were cr@p so i have no dealings with them now but i didnt complain,if im unhappy with service in a shop i dont complain then i think about it for ages and fume cos i wish i had

i wish i complained but i never do so nothing changes

 

I never used to be a complainer until I worked on a customer helpline. We were told to actually encourage people to complain more, because it's the only way that anything can change - if they don't know you're unhappy, they don't know what needs to change IYKWIM.

 

I've come across some rubbish service during and since DSs dx, and I always (tactfully) say so. In fact, if I hadn't kept pestering the specialist to get on with things, I reckon I'd still be waiting for a dx now (maybe she was just sick of my voice, but it worked )

 

On the other hand, most of the people we've dealt with have been brilliant, and we've tried to make a point of telling them that, too

[Karen A]

I am the oposite....CAMHS,LEA,school,OT......all know me.

If it is any cosolation Hev it just gets me known as being trouble.I don't know if it really gets anything done.Karen.

[stressedmum]

No, I don't complain enough either. I did recently make a complaint about my son's treatment at the local A&E department and the whole experience reminded me why I don't normally complain.

Over the last year or so my son has refused to let me be in the bathroom with him (this has created a whole load of problems!). On one of his visits to the bathroom he discovered a bottle of blue, semi permanent, hair dye that his sister had forgotten to take out of the bathroom and I hadn't had a chance to check for hazards before he went in there. A few minutes later I insisted he let me into the bathroom and found him covered head to foot (except his hair) in blue hair dye, including his eyes. I cleaned him off as best as I could but his eyeballs had started stinging and going red so I took him to A&E. While we were there his eyes were getting worse but it took them over an hour to even take his name, let alone look at him, and while they were looking at him I was on the receiving end of comments about my parenting skills which thankfully went over his head (also, this was the first time in about six years that he'd had to go to A&E). I put in a complaint about the delay in treating possible chemical burns to a child's eyes and also about the comments I received but it was a waste of time as the hospital implied I was lying about some aspects of my complaint and again pointed out my ###### parenting skills because if I was a decent parent he wouldn't have been at A&E in the first place.

So, after all of that, I don't think I'll waste my time complaining about anything again

[pookie170]

Flamin' heck, really? That's appalling- maybe you shouls write to your MP with your complaint!

 

You know, I remember taking Cal to Out of Hours docs when he was very young, and was having his first attack of night terrors. Even by the time we got him to the docs (really close by!) he hadn't come out of it and he kept screaming and flailing and scrambling away from the Doc, and us too.

The Doc adjusted his (frankly, minging) bowtie, encouraged his specs to teeter even more precariously on the end of his wretched nose (the better to peer at you, my dear!!) and said,

'If you can't control your child any better than this, then you'll have to leave. I dont allow childish tantrums in my surgery.'

 

I'm afraid I idn't complain, I was stunned into silence!(A rare occurrence!)

Why did he think we were there, when that was the reason for our visit? I thought there was something seriously wrong.

Our own GP put in a complaint on our behalf, though, when I sniffled the sad story to him next day......Go, Dr G!!!

 

I'm still not good at complaining, but I've got a dreadful habit of nipping OH's ear to do it for me!! Poor him- I must work on that!

 

Getting better at it though!

[JsMum]

 

 

I dont think you need a reply from me, Im always complaining to education, social services and the health authority, its something I learnt to do on a relate course, when I realised and understood my rights and my sons rights.

 

JsMum

 

[lorryw]

I was never a complainer until I was pushed into a corner by SS. Then I armed myself with a Disability Rights Handbook and set about making a formal complaint and havent stopped since!! Im sure SS departments all over the country are breaking community care laws left right and centre. People dont know they have rights and therefore dont complain.

I always complain by email, you then have a record of exactly what you have said and you can edit it before sending. People can often avoid dealing with you on the phone "sorry, they are in a meeting" whereas an email has to be dealt with. I also send copies to whoever I think will be able to help push things forward.

The horrible thing is it has made me deeply cynical and and untrusting of anyone in authority.

[pearl]

I pick my fights very carefully, but yes I do complain.

I try very hard not to lose my temper, cos theyve won if you do.

[oxgirl]

Trouble is, if you complain too much they start to resent it and then it works against you, it's getting the balance right I guess. I don't complain really, it builds up and up in me until I feel like I'm going to explode and then, when I do say something, it comes out wrong and it gets peoples' backs up and I'm cast as the baddy. I hardly complain at all to school, but have an awful relationship with some of them, I can't seem to get it right, can't be effective with my complaints, I get too emotional.

 

~ Mel ~

[chris54]

NO

[Clare63]

Wouldn't say I complaint....just point out politely what is right, fair and just

[KarenT]

I would love to complain more, but it takes such a lot of time that I just don't have. The processes are very long and involved and you invariably have to spend ages writing up your version of events, followed by phone calls and meetings to determine what really happened. Nine times out of ten (as others here have found) you're not even believed so what's the point?

 

I should have complained about J's last school but didn't have time because I had to learn to drive to get him to the new one and that impacted on my ME/CFS, and several other issues going on at the time.

 

I should definitely be complaining about the school he's just left but J's in such a mess as a result of their negligence that I can barely leave him unaccompanied for a minute, let alone spend hours writing all the details of the cr*p they've subjected him to. We're also in the process of statement application, a complaint (yes!) about my mother's botched care arrangements, and trying to set up Home Ed and make contact with other families. I'm suppoesd to be on two local authority panels for parent input but will probably have to cancel that too. Any time spent on a complaint about the school is time I should be spending getting my son stabilised emotionally, and I can't afford not to do that.

 

I personally think this has a lot to do with why so many people don't complain enough. It's a very long and drawn out process and extremely time-consuming. People are reluctant to take matters further because of the effort involved. But I do agree that if you don't then nothing will change. Things just have to be prioritised and often we're too busy sorting out the mess to complain about what caused it in the first place.

 

Karen

x

[NikkiSmith]

I very rarely complain about things, mainly due to lack of time & energy, as well as the lack of confidence/assertiveness to do so.

 

I did feel so strongly at the lack of a "service" from SS that I complained in writing.............. that was in Febraury and it's still going on with no end in sight! So what will actually be achieved by it, I dunno!

 

 

 

 

 

[bikemad]

I never used to but now ive got to the point were im so sick of everything n nothing being ever done that now I do yes....couple of weeks ago rung the lea about my son being bullied by the same kid since he was 3(he is now 9)n at cahms Tuesday il be complaining again cos the guy is useless bigtime.