Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
connieruff

Bullying - when do you call the Police?

Recommended Posts

There are alot of stories on here about children being bullied, maybe if I tell you my story you might change the way you deal with it.

My eldest son was bullied as soon as he got into Grammar school. he had bruises all over his legs where he was kicked and his clothes were torn and his school bag went into a skip. The headmistress ignored my phone calls, so I called the police, on the advice of my boss, as he put it, if you as an adult are attacked and abused at work or in the street then the police would more than likely be called, so why are children treated differently? Are they second class citizens who do not deserve the protection of the police?

The police were astounded when I called them and they wanted me to let the school deal with it. But I said to them ''Are you saying you are refusing to deal with this? If so can you put it in writing so I can send it to the Chief Constable? '' They did deal with it and the bullying stopped. The Police were good actually.

So I would say if the school can't or won't stop it then hand the matter over to the Police, and if they wont deal with it properly then write to the Chief Constable. Sorry if I sound a bit militant here but I'm sick of hearing of kids being bullied. Makes me ANGRY!!!!! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi

 

Glad that the police did something about the bullying.

 

I have a relative who was in the police in Scotland. My son is being bullied and I asked about involving the Police. My relative advised that the Police will only become involved if the offender is aged 8 or over. This rules out Police involvement for us, but thankfully the HT appears to be taking steps - child has been suspended twice. I can't help but feel that if the kid does come back to school, his days will be numbered because a leopard doesn't change it's spots!

 

Just thought it worth pointing out about the age.

 

Caroline.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi,

 

i have a personal experience on this. when i was in primary school a boy got some of his friends to meet me on the way home, they started calling me gay and were about to attack me when my mum threatened them with the police. that night my dad contacted the police and then we found out that this boy was already nown to the police for quiet a few things, so they went round to talk to him and he went silent!

 

i wouldent recommend getting the police involved until it spills outside school.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is good to know...I recently had to involve the lea cos the school wernt stopping a kid bullying my lad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it's totally appropriate to involve the police if the school is doing nothing, or the school's interventions haven't worked. I totally agree, if they were adults they'd be on serious charges of harrassment and assault, why it is seen as a lesser evil in children I don't know because a child who gets away with bullying grows up with the knowledge that bullying gets them what they want with no consequences.

 

As a second port of call, after the school, the LEA or school board of governers is a good idea, especially for younger kids who are not seen as legally responsible for their actions.

Edited by mandyque

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
There are alot of stories on here about children being bullied, maybe if I tell you my story you might change the way you deal with it.

My eldest son was bullied as soon as he got into Grammar school. he had bruises all over his legs where he was kicked and his clothes were torn and his school bag went into a skip. The headmistress ignored my phone calls, so I called the police, on the advice of my boss, as he put it, if you as an adult are attacked and abused at work or in the street then the police would more than likely be called, so why are children treated differently? Are they second class citizens who do not deserve the protection of the police?

The police were astounded when I called them and they wanted me to let the school deal with it. But I said to them ''Are you saying you are refusing to deal with this? If so can you put it in writing so I can send it to the Chief Constable? '' They did deal with it and the bullying stopped. The Police were good actually.

So I would say if the school can't or won't stop it then hand the matter over to the Police, and if they wont deal with it properly then write to the Chief Constable. Sorry if I sound a bit militant here but I'm sick of hearing of kids being bullied. Makes me ANGRY!!!!! :)

 

Hi there,

I am so glad that someone has talked about this. I wish I had realised that I could have done this before I removed my son from his school. No one tells you that you can do this and it's not surprising that many don't when the Police have that first initial reaction.

 

I used to work in schools as a teacher and I can honestly say that if most parents knew what went on they certainly wouldn't be sending their children in every day. It's no wonder so many people grow up and have mental health issues. It's like sending them in to a Lions den everyday. This would stress out even the strongest child.

 

I was told by the deputy head/school welfare, that my son would have to learn to rub shoulders with other children in state schools, Huh! Right. I never told him I used to be a teacher, perhaps I should have, I wonder if I might have been treated differently. He didn't say anything about being bitten and bruised by the other children. I believe if someone was to do a study to see how much of this abuse goes on they would say that it is slowly reaching to be an epidemic.

 

I think that we should shout it from the roof tops, if your child is bullied go to the Police! We need to changed this perception that children don't have the same rights! I couldn't agree more! Bw ~ Retreat

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi there

 

Just returned after some time out.

 

I think the police should be involved, my son have put up with years of bullying which it has now come to home educating my son, enough is enough, the school could not resolve it and we have to put our kids first.

 

Its only now from today I have been Home educating but the final blow was yesterday, my son was grabbed from behind and kicked between the legs, this has been going on like I said a very long time, last week my son was pushed against a concrete brick wall and hurt his head and it just goes on and on.

 

The school just seems to say we will deal with it in the morning and that is that.

We had the police involved a few weeks back and they did get in touch with the Education Department within that first half an hour, but like I said our kids can only take so much.

 

This morning the de-register letter were sent in and my son seemed a lot happier doing his work from home today, never seen him so relaxed as this. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm glad you got the police involved. I used to get a lot of physical and emotional bullying throughout primary and secondary school and teachers didnt have any real power to do anything about it as, especially by secondary school, such bullys mostly have no respect for teachers, let alone pupils so will just become more and more devious to avoid getting into trouble.

 

The problem is a lot of habbitual bullys believe its ok to bully people so when they get caught and punnished, they blame the bullying victim and take it out on them. Unless its a really rough school or the kids a youth criminal already, usually most children have no contact with police so that element of fear and respect for police is more likely to be intact and the police are more likely to be listened to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I involved the police when my daughter was attacked in the park just behind out house. She was with two friends and was hit on the head with a shoe and had her hair pulled and the shoe thrown at her. The boys were from her school and were wearing school uniform although she didn't recognise them. When she ran home hysterical I called the school straight away (it was about 4 pm) and was advised to contact the police, which wasn't my initial intention. But I had to, apparently, as the incident happened outside school and so the school would not deal with it.

 

The PC came to take a statement and was great and took it really seriously. Next day I got a call from the head of year who was also taking it seriously. He said that they were liasing with the police in identifying the boys but they had a policy of not punishing twice: if an incident was in the hands of the police the school would not discipline the offenders themselves. I didn't find out the outcome but I was told the boys would get a warning, which is a bit less than a caution I think.

 

I would have preferred the school to deal with the incident as it was an extension of a general school bullying issue and it would have forced the school to see how vulnerable my daughter was and take some responsibility for supporting her. I didn't feel the incident warranted police involvement: I had no wish to criminalise the boys concerned , but I was given no choice.

 

K x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

depends on the age of the child too. Under 10 there really is nothing the police can do except tellings off and warnings/refer to SS etc.

 

Over 10 the warnings can mount up to cautions and ultimately court/ASBOS and imprisonment.

 

IIRC crimes under 18 generally have half the time to be "spent" under rehabilitation of offenders act to avoid penalising a person for childhood mistakes or "youthful exuberance"!! There are some crimes such as violence against a child (even by another child) where conviction in court would lead to lifetime on a list. The bully would have to be particularly nasty violent or have done it before to end up in court.

 

Kathryn, although i can understand why you wouldnt want to criminalise bullys and i would agree with you on minor bullying, serial bullys or really violent/nasty ones deserve what they get as the emotional damage they can cause the victims can cause years of problems.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that for anything other that miner disagreement between friends, all incidents of violence and abuse on anyone should be reported to the police. It should then be for the police and the CPS to decide what action to take.

 

This idea that because it happens in school it is all right is completely wrong.

 

Why do we, as a society, think it is OK for the thugs and bullies to get away with it and then wonder why we end up with children being killed at the hands of other children.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had to threaten to involve the police with the school cos they weren't taking the bullying of my son seriously and now the school are jumping thru hoops to make sure they stay on top of it...but why should it need to come to that...they are meant to have a zero tolerance policy to bullying!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for all your input here folks, I am so grateful.

 

I forgot to say my son is 13, will be 14 in January.

 

He has been bullied from reception year onwards, so years of torture really..... :crying:

 

All we ever had from the school was, it will be all sorted in the morning, yes okay the head of year would call that person into the office, but if it wasn't one it was another bullying my son.

 

The time when we called into the police station was a few weeks back, at school the one boy grabbed a baseball bat hit my son over the head with it, then punched my son in the eye, then kicked in between the legs, my son did not have leg to stand on, and there was a witness who saw this but was too scared to admit it, so I even suggested the CCTV to the school, because I know they have this, and also where this had happened but nothing came of it.

 

Its so heartbreaking isn't it folks? :tearful:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The time when we called into the police station was a few weeks back, at school the one boy grabbed a baseball bat hit my son over the head with it, then punched my son in the eye, then kicked in between the legs, my son did not have leg to stand on, and there was a witness who saw this but was too scared to admit it, so I even suggested the CCTV to the school, because I know they have this, and also where this had happened but nothing came of it.

And rightly so that you called police for that!! thats WAAAAAYYYYYYY beyond conventional bullying and is at the very least common assault and may well be ABH/GBH depending on specifics.

 

You can easily kill people hitting round the head with baseball bats and blind someone with a punch to the eye!!!

 

And the kids are 13 so the blatently know better and deserve a life time criminal record for that!! (interestingly violent crimes against children are classified as section one offences on conviction which can mean a lifetime bar from working with children. that applies to offences committed against children by other children.)

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kathryn, although i can understand why you wouldnt want to criminalise bullys and i would agree with you on minor bullying, serial bullys or really violent/nasty ones deserve what they get as the emotional damage they can cause the victims can cause years of problems.

 

Oh I agree with you absolutely and I wouldn't like to see any bully to get off lightly. I know about emotional damage due to bullying - my daughter stopped speaking for weeks on two occasions because of it, and is still affected by what happened to her over a long period of time several years ago. I don't think I expressed myself very well in previous post. I don't like the rigid line drawn between school involvement and police involvement - I think both should be involved in dealing with an incident and its aftermath. Otherwise the school just disowns the problem and it recurs in a different guise later on with new perpeterators.

 

K x

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I really dont understand the reaction of most schools to bullying. Surely its in thier interests to stop bullying??? victims of bullying commonly thier work suffers etc not to mention the personal impact so surely its a no brainer to act decisively.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...