Mumble Report post Posted November 19, 2008 There's an article in the current (December) issue of 'Psychologies' entitled 'Loving a man with Asperger's' written from the view point firstly of the woman (NT) and then the man (AS). Some people might find it interesting/useful. I actually found it annoying, but hey, that's my opinion, and there's not enough in the article to really know what's going on (for instance, it doesn't say if he is actually dx'ed AS, or if it's just assumed, as in the woman's story she talks about working with adults with AS and seeing it in her partner, suggesting it to him and him reading it on the Internet and seeing that he fits... ) I guess I just didn't get off to a good start with the article, as the first paragraph is: "The sun was shining, and I felt a rush of energy. 'Race you!' I called to my boyfriend Keith, as I started running down the grassy slope. I saw him pull up alongside me, then he clipped me, and I tumbled to the ground in a tangle of arms and legs. I burst into tears. Keith rushed to my side. 'I'm so sorry,' he gasped. 'It's OK,' I sniffed. 'It was an accident.' Keith looked stricken. 'Actually it wasn't,' he confessed. 'When I realised I couldn't beat you, I deliberately tripped you up so you wouldn't win.' I had to laugh. There was no point getting offended because I knew he hadn't done it maliciously. This was the reality of loving a man with Asperger's Syndrome." In my view, AS is not an excuse for causing harm of any sort to anyone, whether intentional or not. People with AS can learn that you don't hit/hurt people and that you don't always win/get your own way. The 'reality' of being in the company of anyone with AS shouldn't be that you will get hurt. It's not 'OK' because it wasn't meant. I realise that this is a small point, but given that such a message will be read by many, I think it's important to consider how that one sentence, "This was the reality of loving a man with Asperger's Syndrome." could be read/interpreted. ...plus, why were they running down the grassy slope? Everyone knows that you're supposed to roll down such slopes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enid Report post Posted November 19, 2008 Vey funny Mumble, about rolling down the slope! and I totally agree with you re the rest of the post, I would hate my son to do things like that, actually he does! and probably worse, but would hate him to do things like that and people "accepting" it because he`s autistic. Havnt explained that very well, its late, but hope you get the drift Enid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted November 19, 2008 sounds like a load of contrived 'aspilebrity' tosh to me... Mumble, if you have the magazine, why don't you ask them for the background on the story, and if it is a 'home diagnosis' give the editor a good verbal slapping for running it on those grounds... if it turns out there's a genuine dx then just give the editor a verbal slapping for printing pap! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted November 20, 2008 He can't possibly have AS. People with AS always abide by the rules and never cheat. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted November 20, 2008 Never mind the first paragraph.... even the title put me off I wonder if the theme tune form Little House on the Prairie was playing when they were running down the hill ick Flo' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted November 20, 2008 Hey - if they're printing sensationalist pap how about this: ... and it was then that I felt the heavy silver tip of the walking cane he carries for just such eventualities crack into the side of my head... ...But the nurse was ever so understanding and we all had a really good laugh because that's just part and parcel of loving someone with Asergers syndrome... Whadaya reckon? maybe Mills and Boon will take it if the editor doesn't want it - it is a love story, after all... Can you imagine all the great literature and movies we'd lose if this kind of tosh was accepted as reality? Bill Sykes - Evil B****** or misunderstood Aspie? Ebeneezer Scrooge - Tight fisted, mean spirited despot or driven autistic with OCD? (think Microsoft Norman Bates? - Oppositional Defiance Disorder, surely? (I blame his mother!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted November 20, 2008 Hannibal Lector..... Serial killer/psychopath or OCD? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted November 20, 2008 He can't possibly have AS. People with AS always abide by the rules and never cheat. Ah, but maybe the rules weren't made explicit enough, and he was confused and so reacted against this. Maybe that's why he was mortified - because he'd broken the rules, not because he'd hurt someone... Mumble, if you have the magazine, why don't you ask them for the background on the story, and if it is a 'home diagnosis' give the editor a good verbal slapping for running it on those grounds... if it turns out there's a genuine dx then just give the editor a verbal slapping for printing pap! You know, I might just do that - it'll serve as practise for other stern letters I need to write I could 'kill two birds with one stone' anyway, because in a separate article they use S B-C's eye test and talk about differences in people with autism, saying we develop systematising skills at the expense of developing empathising skills - not sure it's quite as clear as that... And as for running down the hill to the theme of Little House on the Prairie - it can't possibly be - the littlest girl there falls over without provocation - I was thinking Bridget Jones and Mark Darcey in Bridget's fantasy Sound of Music scene Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted November 21, 2008 ...plus, why were they running down the grassy slope? Everyone knows that you're supposed to roll down such slopes Maybe they were from the westcountry so instinctively ran down the hill as if running after rolling cheese's??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted November 21, 2008 He can't possibly have AS. People with AS always abide by the rules and never cheat. K x Unless you are my son who will rigourously enforce the rules wehen it comes to everyone else, but always has a good reason why they don't apply in his particular situation! Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Super Suzy Report post Posted December 23, 2008 Unless you are my son who will rigourously enforce the rules wehen it comes to everyone else, but always has a good reason why they don't apply in his particular situation! Simon Sounds remarkably like my husband. But then he's notorious at work, for letting his students get away with almost anything as long as they get good marks. ???! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ogsplosh Report post Posted December 24, 2008 Well I am married to a man with Aspergers. I have to say if he did that to me I don't think I would just say oh well! he would get a right earful! ADS is a reason behind the behavour not and excuse! (in my personal life might be different with others ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
