School Plays

[jlp]

I visit a few mainstream parenting forums and right now they're full of photos and posts of various Christmas Plays.

 

Neither of mine are in their plays. I know it's for the best and I don't want them upset but it is upsetting in a selfish 'my child isn't like the rest of the class' sort of way.

 

Also last year ds#2 was Joseph in the nursery play, I had some concerns about him but didn't really expect any major problems and this year he can't even set foot in the school hall, only goes to school part time and it's quite possible he'll not be remaining at his mainstream school. What a difference a year makes

 

Not after sympathy or hugs, just wanted to remark upon it - I know a lot of you will be feeling similar things just now.

[Kathryn]

Have some <'> anyway jlp. These moments are painful and it's not selfish to wish your child could enjoy the activities ohers are doing, especially at this time of year.

 

We're past that educational phase now, but I remember moments such as those - such as when L was almost the only child at her school not to be dressed upand performing on stage at the harvest festival.

 

A year does make a difference, and I hope next year brings positive changes for both your children.

 

K x

 

 

[chris54]

At sons old school they always had a whole school production, Every child in the school got to be in it.

It took some doing but as it was a fairly small school, about 120 children it seemed to work and to get all the parents in they had 3 performances. There always seemed to be plenty of support for children who needed it.

 

The first 3 years he was there it was a bit more ambitious but then teacher who organised it left and then not so big a production. more like a concert with each class coming on and doing their bit, with a few of the older children holding it all together.

 

This year at new school each year group does a Christmas worship, for their parents, on different days. The "worship", as far a I can figure it will consist of a comic nativity play made up of news bulletins, interspersed with Christmas songs. Every child is in it. Son is one of two donkeys. Been making lots of donkey noises last few weeks, be interesting to see how he performs on day.

 

On previous form he will whisper his words and look all worried.

 

I know what you mean about not being part of things. Even though he is involved somehow he always looks out of place. Even in class photos he always looks like he is not with the rest, just stood/sat near them. I probably see this were others don't. Maybe its because I always felt an outsider at school that I pick up on how it is for him.

 

Will be trotting down to school on Monday to see how it goes.

[joybed]

Piers and lydia are both in their nativity play and things were going realy well both have rehearsed well and were loooking forward to it but today at the dress rehearsals Piers refused point blank to even stand up let alone sing.

school have never had problerms with him before and were always disbelieving when i said we had problems so now they are seeing him as he is, an anxious little boy who refuses to comply with anything. He is assessed for ?PDA/ ADHD next week so i suppose he has timed it right but yes it does make me very sad.

[NickyB]

Yes, it's the same here.

 

DS#2 (HFA) doesn't attend assemblies and he won't be doing anything in the Natvity. He might go into the hall for a couple of minutes and then he'll want to leave. I'm going to take him to the classroom and play some games with him, so the teachers can enjoy the play. It is heartbreaking to see him 'on the outside' all the time, but he gets so distressed if he's in a hall full of people, it's just not worth it. It's a real contrast to DS#1, who gets involved in everything and is really sociable.

 

<'> ><

[bikemad]

My lad has been ill all week n in an odd way im glad as it meant he didnt have to do all the school plays...is a nightmare n takes me all night to calm him after them.

[puffin]

We always had this trouble with M (DD/12/AS/ADHD) in mainstream that she attended until 1 year ago - she hated the noise and stress of christmas singing and concerts etc. However this year M dealt with the problem by telling the teacher that she wanted to WRITE the Christmas play this year for the SEN unit she attends - I was a little concerned as 12 months ago in her mainstream class the teacher was always complaining that she was unable to write more than a sentence. However she started carrying a notebooks around and writing stuff down - the a few Sundays ago she sat down an typed up a play that covered 10 sides of A4.

 

So it will be the play Santas Christmas Party this year (perhaps a certain influence of the film The Santa Clause) - she has even designed and made her own costume at needlework lessons

 

So all I can say is - what a difference a year makes

[Moll]

I know the picture of my son is one of the ones you refer to, I know I'm very lucky in that he copes well with school and loves the structure, luckily the staff were understanding about him stripping of in the hall

 

It must be so hard knowing that your child will not be part of someting like this (i want a hug emotion and can't find one) I so feel for you as it is a big thing and it is not fair that your great boys cannot join in

 

 

 

[oxgirl]

I still recall the pain of nativity plays, even though it was 10 years ago. The whole of my lad's class were dressed as shepherds and were basically the choir. They all sat together with tea-towels on their heads and sang their little hearts out when required. Right at the back, to one side sat Jay on his TA's lap, conspicuous in his bright red uniform playing with his toy bug and making buzzing noises and paying not a bit of notice to the play. I sat in the front row with tears streaming down my face and desperately trying to hide them, he didn't even know I was there. I took a photo, to this day I don't know why, as it's still extremely painful to look at it. Even thinking of it now brings tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat, so I feel very much for parents going through the same experience now. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[jlp]

Hi Moll (I think I know who you are!)

 

I really don't begrudge anyone (and if you are who I think you are, it certainly wasn't your photo, not even anyone in particular!) their photos or talking about it either - I just want to be able to post photos and talk about it too!

 

I am lucky I had last year with ds#2.

[Moll]

Hi Moll (I think I know who you are!)

 

I really don't begrudge anyone (and if you are who I think you are, it certainly wasn't your photo, not even anyone in particular!) their photos or talking about it either - I just want to be able to post photos and talk about it too!

 

I am lucky I had last year with ds#2.

 

Hi yes I am who you think I am, glad it want the photo of my stripper, I know how hard it is just think you didn't have my embarrassment of your child stripping to undies infront of the whole school Oh what possessed a teacher to say you can take your costume off after the play

 

I hope you do get your moment to talk about it and you get the school your ds2 deserves <'>

 

 

[Elouise]

Sam and nativity plays always made me cringe, I knew how he would respond and he rarely let me down.

The first year he was meant to be a snowflake and refused to be a snowflake as it was not school uniform and he was at school.

The second year they asked if he would like to be one of the shepherds and he refused on the grounds he was a Sam not a Shepherd.

The third year the school began to wise up and asked if he wanted to help by shining a torch at the star to make it look sparkly but he also went to a very good primary that deservedly won awards for inclusive practice.

 

Nathan was awful. Even in his special school he needed at least one TA to help him sit with others. By the end of his very special secondary he was operating the pa system. The star of the show was a painfully shy lad who was wheeled on stage inside a box and half way through he managed to lit out his arm and hold up the star. He really wanted to take part but could not bear anyone looking at him and suggested the box so he could not see people and they could not see him.

Wish their were more schools like it for other kids.

 

With Annie the school does not make her take part or go on stage poor girl freezes and chokes; instead she has been allowed to make the stage props for the play whilst the rest of her class have rehearsed. I still have to go and see the play as Annie expects a report from me on how well the large turkey she has made from papermache looks to the audience and I know the other mums will want to know what role my kid played.

 

I don't think there is an easy answer to any of this; I made the choice to go with what worked for each of my children and brazen it out with the other parents. Making them do something other kids enjoyed that either terrified them or they really hated just did not seem to be what christmas should be about.

[NickyB]

I don't think there is an easy answer to any of this; I made the choice to go with what worked for each of my children and brazen it out with the other parents. Making them do something other kids enjoyed that either terrified them or they really hated just did not seem to be what christmas should be about.

 

Elouise, I couldn't agree more.

I have decided to do what's best for my son. He really is so much happier playing or reading - it's me and the teachers who were getting upset about it ! So, I've decided to stop getting myself in a state and enjoy some time with him in the classroom.

 

As for what the other parents think, I've long since stopped worrying about what they think

 

Nicky <'>

[chris54]

Never got to Christmas play. Son off sick today, and will be most the week the way its going.

 

Shame really as on Friday son was looking forward to us going and seeing him be a donkey.

Apparently they had a dress rehearsal and "I got it right some of the time" was how he described it.

 

 

[bjkmummy]

bought it home to me today - joe did well i thought in the nativity but he was constantly rocking backwards and forwards. we went back into another hall on the way back to class - the teacher stopped to take a photo of the whole class but as she had said they were going back to class joe couldnt understand why they had stopped to take photos and he refused to take part - his teacher sent a xmas card home today which is the photo of the class on the day of the nativity - joe nowhere to be seen on the photo as he is crouched down at the back in the photo - his twin keira is there happily smiling and it does bring it home to me - i can just about make out a blob which is joe in the floor if i look really closely!!!!

[peaches]

The photos of our nativity play would need a microscope to see R, hidden away in the back right corner between 2 helpers. His role? with 3 other little boys play claves (wooden sticks) when donkey mentioned in songs.

 

The other day I said to someone in my girls day nursery that the girls had been to the nativity play at R's school. Of course she replied "Oh, what did he play?" ..... er 2 sticks

 

Yes I know how you feel.

 

 

[puffin]

Had an unusually positive experience this year - a bit of a proud mummy moment

 

This was mostly thanks to the genuinly inclusive environment at the special needs unit that M 12 AS/ADHD now attends. Previous school pays and concerts have been a nightmare - often M has not really wanted to be in these. Because of the kids having had previous problems the unit usually only does a short 10 minute christmas singing display with coffee afterwards - however M decided that what the unit really needed was a Christmas play - however her teacher explained that they did not have one - so M said that she would write one - the staff really supported her an made her believe that she really could do this:

- she canvassed all of the other kids in the unit to see if they wanted to be in it as well as what role they wanted - eveyone but one older boy wanted to be in it - the older boy said he would only be in the play if he could be a rock star - so the part of "rock star" was added to the cast

- M also decided that the teachers and LSAs should have parts as well

- it has to be remembered that a year ago when forced out on mainstream the teachers claimed that M was virtually unable to write more than a sentence - so somewhat surprising that she felt she wanted to do this - but she kept writing secret stuff in a notebook and one Sunday sat down and typed up her play covering 10 sides.

- so for the past 3 weeks the SEN unit has rehearsed 2 hours a week - with M directing the play - even those children who were barely verbal had wanted lines in the play - and had worked really hard to learn them.

- M made her own costume during needlework lessons.

 

So on Friday we parents and families assembled in the gym for the production of "Santas Christmas Party" - all the kids who had various levels of disability put on a fabulous show - they all did their lines - in a couple of places where they had trouble remembering it was the other kids who helped them out. The rock star actually played a number on his guitarr.

 

It was my second show of the week as Ms little sister NT 10 had been in a play organised my the mainstream school drama teacher. I have to say that the SEN unit play was a lot better, it was more inclusive (in the NT play only those deemed "good at acting seemed to be on stage for any length of time), the unit play was much funnier with santa and his helpers chasing the burglars trying to steal Christmas (Whereas the regular play was repetitive and many kids were bored), and the unit kids seemed to be having a really good time and seemed excited by their achievements.

 

At the end of the play we went down for coffee and cake in the SEN unit - the younger children sat with their parents and the teenagers had taken over the sofa - M said she didn't have time to sit with us as she had to "hang" with her friends on the sofa.

 

A wonderful moment for us and one we never thought we'd have reached a year ago.

 

 

[Enid]

absolutely wonderful story!!! made my day <'> Enid

[lbj]

That is a wonderful story - you must be so proud! I'm afraid I tend to find those xmas plays (featuring 3 NT children up to now) a bit of a trial. I was wondering this year as I watched my 6 year-old quite what his little brother (3, ASD, and about to start the school's nursery unit) might do in a school production - maybe the sky's the limit!

 

janine

[pookie170]

I cannot believe I forgot to come here and post this!

 

Another proud Mummy moment!

 

Cal took part, of his own free will, in his first ever Christmas performance, in a beautiful little episcopalian church right near his school.

The kids have been rehearsing a short 'Nativity through song' for weeks with their music teacher and Cal has refused to be a part of this- I think it was too loud in the smaller room perhaps?

They went and sang to a group of elderly people on Wednesday, and Cal opted out, which was okay by his teacher. (They sat and watched Mamma Mia!)

So on Friday, my sister, Phil's parents and myself went along to the church at the appointed hour and sat in our pew while Cal grinned and waved frantically, pointing at his classmates and bellowing their names at us.

I was somewhat apprehensive about the whole thing, I honestly thought I could detect the start of a meltdown,

HOWEVER

The HT did the usual introductory bit, then the minister said a little piece, then the kids stood and flocked to the front of the church. Cal made to follow them, and was called back by his teacher to sit. He was obviously very agitated by this and was trying to express this, but his tang was getting all tungled up and I was getting ready to step in for him when his teacher managed to diffuse the situation.

Cal put his head down after she spoke quietly to him, clenched his fists and gathered his composure (that in itself is an extreme biggie!!) then said politely and clearly that he wanted very much to join in. His teacher asked the music teacher if this was okay, and on her delighted agreement Cal leapt to his feet and loped off after the others.

There was a row of happily stunned teachers, SLAs and relatives watching him!

Anyway, the children did well, with one young lady in particular demonstrating her absolutely beautiful voice, and another little chap his awesome butt-shaking technique. Cal stood stock still, but he knew all the words and sang them quietly but efficiently. The children also got a treat when their teachers and support staff got up and sang a song for the kids. and they got to laugh at their HT's solo and such. Even the Minister joined in, and sang a song about his son getting a tin drum for christmas, to the tune of 'The little Drummer Boy'.....

I had tears in my eyes-he has never managed this before and he did soooo well, his behaviour was exemplary and his singing word perfect.

(Okay, I fibbed and said he sounded great-no idea how it sounded, but it looked #1!)

What a boost to his bruised little ego, especially because his little brother shone somewhat in his school's nativity- Lijey was a shepherd and delivered his lines fabulously, with feeling, and managed to get the required laughs....plus, he was terribly cute in his lickle outfit.

They both blew me away this year......I'm not going to forget it,ever.

I promise you, Cal has shied away from all such things every time before now. He wouldn't even go in the Halls where performances have occurred, and often has had such a bad tine coping that I've had to collect him and take him home, while all the other parents lost themselves in misty eyed appreciation of their offspring's on-stage efforts.

He's come such a long way and he exceeded all expectations this year- I would have been proud had he merely managed to stay in the church. Did not see this coming at all!

 

Alright, so my son hasn't performed a solo, he wasn't given the part of Joseph, he didn't play an instrument.

I don't care. He was fabulous and his achievement rocked my world.

 

So anything is possible, take each day as it comes and when those wee steps (whatever form they come in) happen of their own volition, bask with your child in their glory.

 

[Kathryn]

Pookie, that's lovely.

 

K x

[NobbyNobbs]

i loved being part of my school christmas plays.

i had parts taken off me for talking too quietly, was switched out of others for not being able to do it as well as other kids, but thats part of life! i learned to talk louder, practice harder and by year 6 i had one of the biggest parts.

 

i earned that through hard work and it was my crowning glory, but i also enjoyed all the times i was at the back with the other 'no hope-rs' singing, being a tree and all the other random things that happen in primary school plays

christmas plays are for the kids in them, the audience is just there to give a purpose, so if the kids have fun, its all good

[skye]

I couldn't even take a photo of Lib this year in the play. They made her a wise man and she walked on, said "here's gold" and walked back off again to anxiously waiting student support worker! BLAH!